This right-on-the-button cartoon slash life commentary by Stephan Pastis’ gang on my favourite Pearls Before Swine strip and this one could be titled ‘The introduction of blogging’ [or Twitter] but in all honesty, to fully understand the depth of meaning of it, find any issue piece someone has written [on rape culture or a specific interpretation of the bible, on homosexuality or race for sure] and scroll down to the comments section where people let all their “honesty” hang out.
It’s no wonder we refer to them as ‘internet trolls’ [no offence to actual trolls] as there seem to be so many people who hide under their specific bridge [most trolls seem to pick a specific theme and scurry around the internet looking for posts related to it before diving in headfirst] and wait for an unsuspecting person to come along and make a reasonable comment before unleashing their Wolverine-type claws and venom.
And the “I’m just being honest” often contains the same level of subtlety as someone who starts a sentence with the words, “I’m not racist, but” before saying someone that is completely racist. “I’m not sexist but woman should stay at home and keep the house clean and the man well fed kind of stuff.” Yes, you are sexist. And now you’re also a big ass for trying to give off the impression that you’re not.
The ‘Get out of jail free’ card for insults only works for the conscience of the person who has just been doing the insulting and perhaps adds to the misery of the person receiving it, because not only have they just heard a bunch of stuff that makes them feel bad, but they have also had the tag on reminder that “it is all the truth.”
This book I’ve been reading [for ever!] has something to say about that:
14 ‘Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love,we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.’ [The Bible, Ephesians 4]
The heart of that scripture is the phrase “speaking the truth in love” which Rat is clearly getting wrong in the cartoon strip. But it starts with the premise of “If you get this right, then you are no longer acting like a spoilt and scheming child.” And continues on to show that if we can get this right, then the whole body [all of the people involved] will grow together in a good and healthy way.
I really enjoyed what Don Miller had to say in his blog a couple of days ago about his active decision to be a “lover and not a fighter” on the internet.
He highlights what this can look like with regards to christians here:
‘In my most negative moments, I think that the internet is a lot like cable news: yelling and drawing lines in the sand, drumming up controversy for the sake of ratings. There are a lot of bloggers who jump on every single slightly controversial aspect of Christian culture and church life.’
And gives what I think is a very healthy resolution for them when he writes: ‘You won’t find me taking shots at this or that public person ever, not because I don’t have strong opinions—I do, and anyone who knows me well knows that there’s no shortage of those strong opinions…but that’s the point: I share those strong opinions in the context of relationship, because I think that’s the healthiest place for them to be. And because I always think to myself, what if that person has a daughter?’
And Don has some harsh critics so I can’t imagine it is easy for him. But [although we do probably think a little differently on if and when to speak out about someone, because I do think there are times when it is necessary as Jesus did with the Pharisees and Paul did with Peter on occasion] I really like the solution he offers in terms of how he tries to use his online presence:
‘What I do know is that as far as the interwebs are concerned, I’m on the lookout for good—things that are beautiful and wise and helpful, things that connect us, books I think you should read, meals I think you could serve to the people you love.’
[and you can read the whole post Donald Miller wrote on this over here]
So next time you are thinking about “just being honest” by pointing out a friend’s [or a stranger’s] flaws, try and remember the Truth in Love proviso and if it can’t be done in Love, then maybe you should just keep hold of that piece of “Truth” until such time as it can.
Stop being a Rat!
i know some people who are really great at cheering other people on and enjoying their success and i think at times i am that person, but not so much when it means i have missed out on success. in game-playing for example, i am uberly competitive and so something i have been working on and need to work on for a long time has been being able to cheer someone else’s success when they have beaten me in a game.
Irresistibly Fish 