Pearls before France

Ah, Stephan Pastis, king of the lame pun, actually nails it here in possibly one of his best pun-ishments ever [really. read the first sentence out loud!]

[For another great Pearls Before Swine cartoon on Accountability for Children, click here]

 

Time for a [Common] Change?

a friend of mine is in serious need of dental surgery… another friend who has a really tight budget has a car that is in serious need of tyre replacement before something goes horribly wrong… someone else i know has their house taken down by the latest hurricane to hit the states and are just needing a bit of a boost to pay a deposit and first month’s rent on an apartment for them and their child… a couple who are having quite a tough time due to the regular circumstances of life could really just use a bit of a weekend break away to be able to focus on their marriage…

as someone who is operating on a fairly tight budget, what do i say to these people? what can i do?

“I’ll pray for you.”

Not that praying for someone is wrong or bad, but if it is all i am able to do, then it does feel somewhat inadequate.

Especially if i can do much more. And the book of James in the Bible seems to suggest that we should:

15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. [James2]

Enter Common Change… the non-profit tbV and i work for… and the group we have been a part of for about a year and a half.

The needs mentioned at the start of this post are all ones that have been met by the group we are part of. Although not necessarily all personal friends of ours, we got to play some part in empowering their friends to walk alongside them as some or all of their need was met.

Here’s how it works:

# you register to Common Change and then either create a group [with a bunch of mates, work colleagues, small group at church, indoor hockey teammates] or join an existing group and start contributing usually a monthly amount to the group common pool.

# when someone in the group knows someone [one degree of separation] who has a need they present the need to the group on behalf of their friend.

# members of the group then respond by giving creative suggestions or asking deeper questions to try and figure out the best way to get involved in meeting the need [so drawing on the wisdom of the group]

# when the group has weighed in, a gift is sent to the person in need and the person who shared the need with the group is encouraged to walk the journey with their friend

it is that easy… and it can start small [ten people each giving 10 dollars suddenly have 100 dollars to be able to put towards a need] or be really huge [some people give fixed amounts, others give a percentage of their salary]

the aim is to eradicate economic isolation – instead of simply throwing money at needs or at organisations we are committing to get personally involved in relationships we already have where need exists and hopefully be part of making a long-term difference in someone’s life.

sound doable? interested in learning more or getting involved? email me at brett@commonchange.com and we can get this ball rolling…

Also, if you like the idea it would be great if you could share this link via your social networking vibes… thank you.

back to your future: Part Re-establish contact

‘We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?’ asked Piglet.
Even longer,’ Pooh answered.’

[A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh]

there is just so much good stuff to be taken from looking backwards in life if we are using it to help us move forwards well and that is what this continuing series is about…

this one is a little bit similiar to the one i did on People Gratitude [taking time to be grateful for the people who have poured into your life] but taking it a step further…

i firmly appreciate the idea of ‘seasons’ – that some people and situations are in our life simply for a time period and then we or they move on and how that can be okay… i was strongly reminded about this recently when two good friends of mine from South Africa, Debbie and Barry Austwick, came to visit for three nights and we just completely reconnected [as if we’d lived together for three years solidly, or maybe more accurately as if we HADN’T lived together for three years solidly – ha ha, one of those for sure] as if no time had passed and we laughed so much and had great and deep conversations about important things and it was such an injection of life into me.

and while i don’t think it’s important or good or needed to reconnect with everyone in your life who has been in your life for a season, i do think it can be so helpful and encouraging and life-giving [especially if you shared a good time together]

i remember a certain camp a whole bunch of us used to go on with a whole bunch of people from a certain demonisation, um denomination, and there would be a bunch of okes who would get together and absolutely celebrate the past, reliving the highlights, telling funny stories, remembering close encounters and just completely adding life to each other and good times. then there were others who would get together and moan about all the bad times and the organisation they had been part of and how it had messed up their lives and how badly they’d been treated and so on and it was just so negative and soul-destroying in some senses…

two different groups of people getting together and telling stories, but just completely different experiences – one bringing back the good and reliving and celebrating, the other bringing back anger and bitterness and fueling fires that should have been long forgotten or allowed to burn out. and probably a bunch of us who were stuck somewhere in the middle but hopefully with the good stories and life-givingness outweighing the bad.

“Why did you do all this for me?’ he asked. ‘I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.’ ‘You have been my friend,’ replied Charlotte. ‘That in itself is a tremendous thing.”
[E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web]

so i want to encourage you to think back and see if there is someone who used to be part of a good time in your life [maybe it was a youth group or a missions trip, maybe it was a grade at school or a class at varsity or a job you worked on together or a hundred other possibilities. if they’re nearby, call them up and invite them to go and grab a drink with you. if they’re further away why not set up a Skype call or plan a trip and chance to hang out? [Some Skype calls i have had in the last three years while being in Americaland with good mates and family back home have been such a much needed boost at times]

you can’t relive all of the past, and you shouldn’t. but it doesn’t hurt [and can sometimes help a lot] to organise a meal with a friend or a reunion of mates or to simply reconnect over the phone.

do it! 

and then come back here and tell me how it went…

‘For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.’ [ Judy Garland]

This is just the smallest glimpse of some of the moments of memory creation – my photo collection and patience is too small to come close to inserting literally hundreds of people who should be in here as people i share some of these memories with. thank you to all of you who have been a part of these and other memorables.

[To return to the beginning of this series on looking back to move forwards well, click here]

Awkward ‘Family’ photo wedding pic with adopted son Dreadlocked Kev

The Great Brett Andy Survey – part I

“Consider the Daffodil. And while you do I’ll be over there looking through your stuff!” [Jack Handey]

I’m no Jack Handey [thought Caw] but i really do enjoy me some good random misdirected word humour as only he can get as right as he often does in such classic Handey Deep Thoughts as:

“Before you criticise a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have his shoes.”

“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. ‘Oh no,’ I said, ‘Disneyland burned down.’ “He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. ‘I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.”

“To me clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to a circus and a clown killed my dad.”

“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”

“Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.”

“When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we’d all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn’t until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.”

and of course: “Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at the two words that make it up – “Mank” and “Kind”. What do these words mean? I’ts a mystery and that’s why so is mankind. 

Now I’m no Jack Handey but a few years ago I got into the habit of trying to come up with my own Jack Handeyesque type deep thorts and I naturally called them ‘Deep Thorts by Brett Andy’  so as not to be completely sued… I figured it’s time to revive some of the better ones and to try and get an idea of which you, the general public, feel really work and really don’t…

So, if you have a minute and a half to read the selection below and in the comments section, let me know which are your top one to three and which ones, if any, you would personally choose to strike from the list. If you’re feeling really magnanimous, you could invite a friend to do the same or share this post on your Facebooking wall or stick it in the Tweeterer, or you could be really cool and use your favourite one as a status and see if it gets any response:

[1] “I don’t think there can be anything sadder than watching a mime struggle at Charades. “That was your chance, man!” [Brett Andy]

[2] “I’ll bet Rock-Paper-Scissors was a lot less fun before scissors were invented… and paper.” [Brett Andy]

[3] “People who live in glass houses, shouldn’t!” [Brett Andy]

[4] ‘I would imagine a horse drawn carriage would be a really ugly thing. For starters, it must be almost impossible to grip a pencil with hooves. Plus there is all that fine detail around the edges to consider.’ [Brett Andy]

[5] “After watching the cricket for five days, I thought to myself, “I’ve got to get myself a more interesting bug!” [Brett Andy]

[6] “I think the story of Hansel and Gretel teaches us that it’s okay to push old people into ovens. But only if they first tried to eat you.” [Brett Andy]

[7] ‘Do you think if minutes were edible, they’d taste good enough that we’d want to go back for seconds?’ [Brett Andy]

Best and Worst? And worthy of a share or a copy or a link? Appreciate your time…

love Brett Andy

 [For round 2 and a further invitation to choose your favourites, click here, thought Caw]

back to your future: Part Regret

I am continuing this series on looking backwards to help yourself move forwards well. This post on Regret should probably go hand in hand with the previous one on Forgiveness.

‘If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.’ [ Mercedes Lackey]

And this really is the bottom line. We cannot go back to the past and live things differently. We can’t change the past. And so living with regret of decisions made, actions done, things said becomes completely unhelpful because there is nothing we can do to alter those things. However, we do have the power to affect how we live forwards and so it can be helpful to look back at things that didn’t go so well, not to wallow in self-pity and regret or beat ourselves down or anything like that [again, doesn’t really achieve anything worthwhile] BUT so that where possible we can put things right or else make time to learn from what has happened and choose to live differently from here on out.

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” [ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland]

Carroll has a great point there. Another great hope linked to looking backwards is that you have changed as a person. Hopefully you have grown and matured [not become old, please!] and learnt more about love and grace and forgiveness and so the ‘you’ who made those bad decisions and maybe hurt people or messed up badly, is also someone who you have, to some extent left behind as you have moved on.

Transform any regrets you may have from the past into learning opportunities for the future. Insofar as you have the ability to mend broken relationships or make right for things you got wrong and people you hurt, do so [remembering that if they choose not to forgive, that is okay, but make sure they hear and see that you are really repentant] and then leave them behind and move forwards.

‘Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.’ [C. S. Lewis]

Lewis nails it. Start believing that there are better times ahead and work towards those. Embrace the present as you live towards creating a successful future, for you and all those around you.

But if you are going to choose to regret something, this would be a good one:

‘Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.’ [David Grayson]

 And by ‘choose to regret’ i mean ‘live so you don’t have to’ – is there someone you need to tell you love or appreciate them today? Don’t wait too late or this too will be tossed upon the regret pile. Don’t wait til someone’s funeral to say all the nicest things about them they never got to hear.

So live forwards well, by learning from, but refusing to carry, any regrets from the past…

[For the next part on Re-establishing contact, click here]

Blessed are the poor, for they will give us tax benefits.

i was listening to someone the other day describe how being part of a non-profit organisation would guarantee them tax benefits and it made me both sad and angry.

kind of like i feel about ‘Worship Song of the Year’ awards and sports stars [and others] who are paid ridiculous amounts of money…

don’t get me wrong [well maybe do a little bit cos it makes for a more interesting comment section below] i am not saying that i have a problem with the fact that in many countries you get some sort of tax break when you give money to charities and non-profits and maybe even religious institutions still… my problem lies in using ‘tax benefits’ as the main, or even a major, pull in trying to get you to give.

 

because, if you are giving to something because of the money you get back, you are not really giving. not if that’s your motivation. then you are just using the organisation.

whereas if you give to a thing you have decided to give to and then at the end of the year the government gives you some money back then whoohoo, bonus… if the amount of money you gave to the charity/non-profit was the amount you had chosen to give them, then you should give them the tax back money as well, right?

give to the thing because you think the thing is worth giving to. don’t miss out if there are benefits to be had [and as mentioned maybe add that to give extra to the thing] but let your motivation be that you really believe in the work that you are supporting.

[or better yet, become a part of Common Change and collaborate with a group of people to give towards people you already know who are in need and so add relationship to the whole aspect of giving – let’s make giving personal!]

i would love to get some discussion going on this, and try not trip over the fact that i still think it’s a travesty that this club paid 40 million pounds to that club to get that football player.

psalmthing to chew on: psalm 61

This one is like a little gem of a psalm. Short and sweet and [if you read the intro and see it mentions this one should be played on string instruments] a little haunting [in the good way]. So i would just actually post the whole psalm here:

1 Hear my cry, O God;
    listen to my prayer.

2 From the ends of the earth I call to you,
    I call as my heart grows faint;
    lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For you have been my refuge,
    a strong tower against the foe.

4 I long to dwell in your tent forever
    and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
5 For you, God, have heard my vows;
    you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

6 Increase the days of the king’s life,
    his years for many generations.
7 May he be enthroned in God’s presence forever;
    appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.

8 Then I will ever sing in praise of your name
    and fulfill my vows day after day.

‘I call as my heart grows faint” – for me it feels like this is an older person writing this. i get the feeling of a contented tiredness. this is someone who has experienced God as his refuge and as his strong tower in times of need. this is someone who knows God as the One who has heard his vows.

i’m not sure why it is particularly but i really like this psalm. it feels so peaceful, even as there is a cry and a call and this sense of long journey to the ends of the earth. there is not the same panic that exists in a number of other psalms when enemies are chasing or foes are trying to take the psalmist in. this one feels like someone who has lived a long journey, punctuated by times of Godly intervention, and is ready just to sit in the courts of God and lift up His name forever.

when i am old and nearing my time to move on, i hope this will be the kind of piece i can compose to God…

[To return to the Intro page and be connected to any of the other Psalms i have walked through before now, click here]