Tandem Post: Meeting The Queen

Two steps forward and then one to the right. I stand and wait, watching… guarding… carefully listening to my own heavy breathing…

I try to remain focused completely on the spaces around me, watching for you, zoning out of the chatter and in on any nearby movement that may be about to occur.

This time you will not get by me.

I am ready, alert, prepared for the inevitability of your attack.

One thing in mind, protect my liege, at all costs, even if it means i may have to sacrifice my very life.

And there you are… I finally catch sight of you, caught behind your wall, for now, but I know that will not last

In fact, just one minute later and already I spot a gap in the wall…

Soon, you will be coming…

I take a step to my left, another step forward

And one more.

All the while, watching, waiting, thinking, calculating.

Perhaps if I just keep myself moving, you will eventually make a mistake…

Silence.

It’s as if I can almost smell the deep thought that is resonating in the air just above me.

My horse makes a startled sound.

“Sh, Th’gink, it’s okay lady, easy now,” I quietly whisper into her ear, trying to calm her down.

When the moment comes to strike, I need her to be ready, totally in control.

More silence.

Followed by a gentle tik, tik.

The tell-tale sounds of plastic on wood…

Like a black widow on the prowl, you seek a deathly mating ritual.

And I, I will do everything I can to stop you.

…

…

…

And almost all too easily, there it is. The moment I have been building up to.

In an instantly regrettable moment of distraction, you took your eyes off of me.

I suspect it was the sight of the castle to your left?

As I gallop into view, straight, straight, and then at the last moment pull an audacious slide to the left.

I have your man in my sights…

And you must fall, so that he may make his brief escape…

This post is my first post as part of a tandem blogging exercise with Dave Luis, Mandy Collins and Nick Frost. One title unwrapped by four storytellers. Read Dave’s post over here, Mandy’s post here, and Nick’s post here. Please share your thoughts on our fun exercise in the comments on each post, and remember that with bloggerists, sharing is always caring. 

[To check out the following Tandem Post i did with the title, ‘Revelations at Dawn’, click here]

Chasing LOL – part I

So by now, if you know me, you know that i don’t really believe LOL is a thing.

Apart from someone in my close family who actually thought it meant ‘Lots Of Love’ and actually [true story] sent it to a friend via text who had just lost a family member, as in: i heard your dad died. LOL

But my basic theory is this: If you’re writing LOL [which, family member, stands for Laugh Out Loud] then you’re clearly not LOLing! Because who can type accurately if they are in fact laughing in an out loud kind of manner? [Most people i know shake, do you shake?]

Anyways, one person i know in life who regularly gets me to actually blatantly honestly LOL is my buddy, Dreadlock Mike, and i’m not sure why it is, but when we get together we both become little seven year old gigglers [do seven year olds giggle? whichever age that is, we’re them] which is why i love hanging out with Mike and recently it was Mike and i reading out Jack Handey’s that was bringing out the LOLs.

If you don’t know Jack Handey’s work, then it is my absolute pleasure to share it with you. Different people respond to different thoughts of his and so if you don’t like all of them, that is fine. i am going to post five today and if one of them brings you closer to LOLing than the others, let me know which one it was below…

The tiger can’t just change his spots. No, wait, he did. Good for him. [Jack Handey]

Whenever y read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books. [Jack Handey]

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out of it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that’s like a regular window. [Jack Handey]

One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with a wooden stake. [Jack Handey]

It’s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realised that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating. [Jack Handey]

Which of those came closest for you? Or do you have a favourite Jack Handey? Share with us in the comments section and we’ll see if it makes it into the next episode of Chasing LOL… 

[For more Jack Handey love, check out Chasing LOL part II over here]