drink for yourself

so there is a new campaign in town and apart from some silliness like the whole main thrust of it being that if you don’t like coffee you are okay, i thort (hi lisa) that it was very well written and even contained moments of humourous – my friend simon from the brothers streep wrote it and is a very funny guy who occasionally constructs pirate ships out of lego (possibly other substances too, but i’ve only ever heard about the lego one) so check it out and drink for yourself, but seriously, coffee…

http://www.brothersstreep.com/blog/202/drink-for-yourself

you’re fired… or watered, or something

so people who know me know i appreciate random humour and this cartoon sums up this new site of cartoons i recently stumbled upon – a very lot of them i find funny or gently amusing, some i just don’t get or are quite lame and there is the occasional one that is not super kosher, but if you wade thru the archives there are some genuinely good laughs waiting [especially if you appreciate random humour]

like this one

actually this one is pretty good too

buttersafe.com… check it out… find one you like?

you don’t know jack (which can be handey i guess)

Why do the caterpillar and the ant have to be enemies? One eats leaves, and the other eats caterpillars. Oh, I see now.

I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?

It’s easy to sit there and say you’d like to have more money. And I guess that’s what I like about it. It’s easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.

Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy’s arm behind his back. NOW who’s asking the questions?

Worship the potato? The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what else is more deserving of worship? It’s simple, it comes from the earth, and it can kill you if you disobey it.

You know one thing that will really make a woman mad? Just run up and kick her in the butt. (P.S. This also works with men.)

I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver. And since he’s so busy, you’d probably have to run up to him and hand it to him.

If I had a mine shaft, I don’t think I would just abandon it. There’s got to be a better way.

[For one more last extra page of Deep Thoughts by the legendary Jack Handey, you just have to click]

you don’t know jack [question mark] part Juan

so i found out yesterday for sure sure that jack handey is a real person – for years i was one (of many apparently – thankx wrinklypedia) who suspected he might not be an actual person but a collective grouping of like minded humourous quote writing peoples quotes

anyways i am sure a lot of you have never heard of him and so i decided to post some of my favourite jack handey deep thorts that are completely random which is one of my favourite types of humour – you’ll either ‘get it’ or you won’t – it’s okay either way, we can’t all have higher grade senses of humus:

It’s too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that’s like a regular window.

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the Earth, or just an imaginary one. I had to laugh. Laugh and laugh. Because I didn’t know, and I thought that maybe by laughing he would forget what he asked me.

I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he’d eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear.

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don’t want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, “What was THAT?!”

I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!

[For more hilarious Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, click here]