i kissed dating, part intro

from the moment the beautiful Val and i got married [and i do mean the moment – an impromptu wedding speech largely aimed at singles and marrieds stretched to 51 minutes apparently] i felt like God had put RELATIONSHIPS on my heart as something that he wants me to focus on, to fight for, to champion.

since being married we have been invited to speak at a number of camps and churches on the topic of relationships, and while we are clearly not the experts by any stretch of the imagination, we have seen some stuff and learnt some stuff and probly have a bigger bag of ‘stuff to not do’ that we are well aware of. so we have shared and chatted about and thort thru a whole bunch of relationship stuff and i felt like it was a good time to share some of it on here.

you may not agree with all of what i say, but i hope there is something for you to take away from this if you are in a space of being single or dating. i will be taking it from the point of people who are living as disciples/followers of Jesus, because that is my context, but even if you are not, i imagine there will be some healthy and helpful ideas or things to think about.

i am not a big fan of statistics at all, because i think generally they mean what you want them to mean and are not all that reliable. But one statistic grabbed me a few years ago and even the slightest bit of truth to it causes it to be a very tragic piece of information. In americaland (and i think the stats for south africa are similiar) the percentage of marriages that lead to divorce in marriages of christians is almost EXACTLY THE SAME as that of people who do not call themselves christian.

What that says to me is WE ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG! And the old adage says that if we continue to do what we have always done we will continue to get the results we have always gotten.

Something needs to change. In the way we do dating. In the way we do relationships. For too long we have simply done what everyone else is doing. Where as Christ followers we have been told to “not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of your mind” – and so this is what needs to happen. And that is what i am going to be looking at here.

How can we do dating and relationships different so that we end up with better results? Not just than the world, but than christians up to this point. I really believe that if we can bring the Jesus-following aspect of our lives into how we do relationships WE WILL SEE A REVOLUTION! And it will be so attractive to the world.

[click here to read next part]

bearing one another’s burdens as written by tbV

basically you should just subscribe to her blog cos anytime she says/writes something it’s generally worth hearing…

http://valanderson.wordpress.com/2011/02/22/on-bearing-one-anothers-burdens

top 5 songs on my repeat…

i assume that this post will lose me a lot of respect and so it’s quite fortunate i don’t feed off that stuff – but there are a couple of songs that i have bought from ovi music store in the last couple of months that i keep sticking on repeat cos they make me happy…

they are the following in no particular order:

[1] bought this morning: ‘Techno Band’ by Lonehill Estate – what gets me is the pausing in the last line of the chorus – you’re. gonna. be. innit… slays me every time. i dig the rap sing style and the vibe of the song – it’s silly but it’s happy silly…

[2] Somebody to Love by Queen (2011 remaster) – the only thing that freaks me out about this song is i am singing the words “find me somebody to love” ad nauseaum and i am hoping tbV won’t take offence cos clearly i have somebody to love, but i just REALLY love that song and finally got round to buying it – my favourite is the chantlike buildup of the repetitive “find me somebody to love” and all the “somebody” “somebody”‘s at the end – perfect no-one-in-the-house-pump-up-the-volume-and-sing-with-full-vocals-and-possibly-a-broom-mic…

[3] No Robot’s by the Arrows – saw them live at New Year’s and had to i think to fully appreciate this music – they are a wacked out crazy psycho band of just two girls (and wacked out crazy psycho in the best way possible) and i just love the energy and freedom in this song plus the lyrics (which for me are generally the thing i look at) point wholeheartedly at Yahweh – “oh it’s poetry, it’s genius – You don’t want robots, You want our love – so You let us carry on like this, cos You don’t want robots, You want our love – and still we blame You and we call You names – You don’t want robots You want our love – and You go and give it to us all the same, all the same, all the sa-a-ame”

[4] That’s not my Name – The Ting Tings – do i even have to comment? in terms of catchy, pump up the volume, sing your pop idol audition to No_bob the stuffed dolphin judging panel… “everything considered they forget my na-a-a-ame”

[5] Crazy [and Going on] by Gnarls Barkly – thankx to the beautiful Val for directing me to this one (Going on) – i just love repetition but not Rihanna take-any-word-and-repeat-it-ten-times and then make 15 similiar songs style… i’m talking the “Going on” line “I’ve seen it with my own eyes, how we’re getting otherwise,
without the luxury of leaving. (leaving) The touch and feeling of free, is untangible technically, is something you got to believe in. (believe in)” and then “Crazy” i’ve just dugged for ever [yes, “dugged!”] because it’s about people thinking i’m crazy, and, you know… i just dig the beat and rhythm and his voice and the vibe…

and then special mention must go to Duck Soup and ‘Barbra Streisand’ [thankx to the Proteas cos they played it ALL the time when i was at the last game and i fell completely in love] – i really don’t dig barbra streisand (no offence) and so the fact that i love this techno beaty song about her just becomes all that much more surreal… and ‘Jump’ by Flo Rida which i absolutely absolutely dig and would be in the list if it was a top 6… “When i say jump you say “How high” – and ‘We no speak Americano’ (Yolanda Be Cool & Dcup) and

don’t get me wrong, the U2’s and Coldplays and R.E.M.’s and Snow Patrol’s will always be there, but for now these are the five and one that are getting me going… what’s your top 5 right now?

first audio podcast thort for the week

okay so i’m not sure if it’s a podcast if i can’t stick it into itunes yet – need to figure out where to find the rss feed (i was listening sean) but i have posted it up on my tumblr page and the link is below if you want to give it a listen and constructive feedback will be appreciated – this one very much mirrored my written thort for the week with some addition but i’m not sure it always will – just got new headphone mic so hoping the quality is a lot better… so please give it a listen and let me know…

which you can check out here

i think i have the beginnings of a podcast

check it out and let me know if it works… this could be the start of a beautiful relationship… thankx sean tucker…

click on this bit here…

flaming fireball kid

so virgin mobile is running this competition here where you upload a photo and choose a superhero name and can win phones and stuff – actually i already won a 100 bucks airtime which is cool – but i could use your votes

two comps – best picture and best superhero name – am 8th on the first and 40th on the second altho the top superhero name only has 12 votes so really an easy one to win if 11 more people vote for me…

is just silly fun but if you have a few moments then please go for it cos my picture is pretty cool…

my problem (well one of) – the search for relevant blog

so i was thinking about this today and i think i tend to slip into writing stuff (sometimes) for the blog with a half eye on how many hits it will get and ‘how popular it is becoming’ [it’s not] and so on and i really want to get back to the original intention which was to express my thorts and mind and dreams and wrestlings and humourisms here mainly for me – i do still want it to encourage and challenge and revolutionise and affect others, but i don’t want the intention to be me trying to hit an audience – i believe what needs to hit certain people will be good enough to do so and so my intention is to now try harder to just be real and relevant and rougher and. audience of one. God is watching us.

or something.