if the shoe(s) fits

marvin the marshoes

so it’s my birthday today – happy happy – and after a super special breakfast made by my wife – the beautiful Val – and delivered to me in bed – that involved jacobs coffee and chocolate-infested and smartie surrounded yoghurt and a wad of range-free bacon – yum – i finally got given the present my wife has been building up intrigue to the last week and wow what a gift – marvin the martian – my favourite loony toon cartoon character – decorated shoes – stunning – be jealous

what a wife, and along with a few phone calls and samesses and countless facebook messages an amazing start to the day…

love your wife… and get caught!

i remember some kids song that went ‘love your neighbour as you love yourself, oh-oh love your neighbour, but don’t get caught’ and thinking as i write that, i may very well have added the ‘don’t get caught’ on to what was a nice kiddies song of which i still have the tune playing in my head… so maybe scrap that…

but it brings to mind the one thing that is hugely on my mind at the moment – loving your wife, and better – been blogging a series on Facebook called ‘how to love your woman better’ which is aimed at getting guys (and everyone really) thinking about how they love their wives, girlfriends etc (and the other way round of course but directing it at the guys) – the other night i was at a function with some of my people and tbV overheard the one woman speaking to her man on the phone giving him some directions or something and then getting irritated with whatever he was saying on the other end and finished the conversation by screaming “I HATE YOU!” and hanging up…

wow, that breaks me… it was not a Christ-following relationship, but i don’t doubt even in some of those people dive across the boundaries of what should never be said or done and God has put it HUGELY in my heart to see Christ-following relationships improved to the thousand percentile (no, i don’t, it just sounds like a nice word) and especially to see the bar raised…

when i got married to tbVal in my speech i spoke to married men and single guys about that and put myself totally out there in terms of how Paul does with his ministry – follow me as i imitate Christ kind of vibe – but follow me as i role model good relationship… on the one hand i guess it can appear arrogant, but it is completely not. it is the desperate plea of someone watching a lot of people in relationship (Christ-following and not) and saying “there must be more than this” [my life theme song] and stepping up to the plate and making myself hugely accountable and vulnerable and there for the shots to be fired at and committing (cos it is completely a commitment as opposed to an arrogant statement) to loving my wife better.

i do think that loving tbV is one of the things i do best in life. not saying i have it perfect or close to that and not saying i am necessarily better than anyone else, but in terms of everything i do in life, it is one of the things i work at the most and try to intentionally get a lot more right than i did yesterday. we still do have a way to go before we are any kind of perfect couple, but in terms of what is out there, we have a lot to teach and model and call people towards already… and NOT just because we have “only been married 5.5 months”

one of the things is to love my wife publically – not to a sickening “please stop” “get yourselves a room” level of grossification, but to an extent that lets people know i love this woman, i am committed to her, and i want to express it.

so love your wife… and get caught! a lot.

the problem of anonyminity

besides trying to spell it i mean.

the idea behind this blog is to write and let people discover it. have linked one person to one thing i wrote and also gave mention of the fact that it exists on my FB status… but the idea is not to advertise and draw everyone towards it.

but it’s hard cos i want people to read what i write. as if it matters or something. i do think a lot of what i write matters and i think if and when people stumble across this it will matter to some of them and maybe one day to a lot of people. but the purpose of this was to get my thorts aligned and down on virtual paper.

i need to stick with that. this is predominantly for me.

anonynimity. hm i think that’s more it. actually not too sure but way too lazy to risk looking it up. not convinced, but more convinced than anonyminity for sure. definitely anonymousity if i was in charge though. yeessssss.