The Greatest Birthday Gift

What a birthday!

Started with breakfast with tbV [aka the beautiful Val, my lovely wife] and our former housemates from Oakland, California, Aaron and Sarah at Martin’s, a local bakery/restaurant just down the road from us.

It finished with

birthday words… for a tbV

hey there, gather round and listen up

step yourself a little closer so-i can tell you what is up

on this day, the very 25 of may

there are a few things that I feel that I have got to say

first of all, we find ourselves upon a special day

so, let’s all join with one another and hip hip hooray

and give some applause, and much due celebration

to the woman of, this very day’s creation

well not this very day, but one very much the same

28 calendars ago, the day this baby came

brought into this world, a Duffield, began to find her feet

but let’s skip right to future days,  way after when we two did meet

we stood together in a church, in front of some of you

and made some promises, and then each one of us said ‘I do’

we set off for honeymoon, amidst some cries and laughter

surely set for our very own ‘happily every after?’

but sadly that is not always, the way this thing does work

cos pretty soon I realise, I now-live with quite a jerk

and as much as I enjoy throwing blame at Valerie

I soon realise that the jerk in the mirror it is me

cos marriage is a thing that is worthy of applause

but it is also quite a spotlight that will emphasise your flaws

It’s certainly not all bad, in fact the good outweighs by far

Just good to know it’s not all Disney or if-it-is then with Jafar

Or Ursula from Little Mermaid, Jungle’s Kaa or even Scar

[Is there some reason why so many of  Disney villains rhyme with ‘bra’?]

But moving on there is a reason for me to-have-sit and write this poem

As today is my girl’s day, and you are here, I thort ‘I’ll show ‘em’

Just a note, pick one or two, of reasons why I love my girl

And know that there are many hundreds more that I could here unfurl

But when it comes to passionate justice, tbV she is a fighter

And those of you who’ve read her blog now know that she is quite the writer

She is so-really good at games and this immensely makes me proud

Altho my ego takes a beating, fairly often when-it’s allowed

And after many months of fighting, I now take much admiration

Watching Val laughing out loud at scenes from Parks and Recreation

There’s so much more, but that’s a glimpse, of just why I am such a fan

Especially when she calls me ‘Boy’ or ‘B’ or ‘specially ‘Husband-man’

We’re growing up and on together as we live eternity

And it’s a journey that is not always simple as it could be

But we’re committed so we fight on and we hope that you will see

‘Life to the full’ will stay our motto, this Fish and this tbV

You see we’ve grown up in a world that points us all to independence

While what we are finding out are merits to inter-dependence

That we’re in this thing together when it’s good and when it’s bad

When we disappoint each other, if we make each other sad

We know it’s not intentional and we know we will bounce back

And the very bottom line is that we have each other’s back[s]

What helps to make it stronger is the foundation we’ve got

That we’ve built our lives on God, especially when we lose the plot

They say a triple stranded cord is one that can’t be eas’ly snapped

And for our present situation that just seems completely apt

So my tbV I love you, yes I kinda think you’re nice

Sorry that this pome is not up to the standards of V. Ice.

I wish you all the best of birthday celebrations for this day

And plan to stick with you by your side if you feel like that’s okay?

I love you very much and am so glad that you’re my girl.

The end! [cos there’s no good word that rhymes with ‘girl’].

what do you get for the man who has everything?

it is 29 minutes til my birthday…

well, for me anyways, my south african family and friends have been celebrating it for hours already, as have the few contacts i know in Australia and different friends across Europe… have not heard from so many UK friends yet, but they’ll be waking up soon and joining in… and then when i sleep and wake up, americaland will have caught on and i will finally be able to celebrate along with everyone else.

my wife, tbV, is busy flying towards south africa to celebrate the coming wedding of her sister Shana to Carl and it would be so nice to have her closer here with me, cos an empty bed beckons, which is less fun, but we did get to celebrate while she was here and it was good and apart from that i think i pretty much have everything i need.

what do you give to the guy who has everything? cos i really do. well pretty much… i mean i could enjoy trips to hawaii and a skiing trip for my wife and a free-to-use close proximity jacuzzi and a never-ending supply of bacon and an iphone and an ipad and a kindle and a spindle… or something… and 101 other things… you can always have more stuff, but i really don’t feel like i need or particularly want anything. i am truly loved by God and i know Who i am in Him and that is more than enough. i have passion and vision and life and energy and hunger-for-lifefullnessity and much, much more.

so what is the answer then? what do you give to the guy who has everything? you give him love. and hugs if you happen to be close. and it is pouring in already via facebook even before my birthday officially begins and i’m sure through other networks and means as the day progresses.

so much love, so many incredible people in my life, so much strong friendship, so many passionate, hungry-for-real-rich-fulfilling life people, so so much.

how could i possible want anything else? i already have everything.

hold the pearl, give yourself

don’t cast pearls before swine… that’s how it goes, right? i mean Jesus said it and everything (matthew 7.6)

but here is another take on that perhaps? use it, don’t use it…

i’ve been listening to a song by the foo fighters (what is foo? do you think they maybe originally started out as ‘the flu fighters’ and then someone typo’d their name and the rest is history… and if you started a band and called it ‘the flu fighters’ do you think maybe you’d get a lot of foo fighter fans buying your album by mistake and it would be a good way to establish and early fan base? just a thort for those aspiring band starters…) and two lines stood out for me:

line 1: is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

line 2: you gave me something that I didn’t have, but had no use

like maybe if you’re a pig, a pearl isn’t your biggest need… and so you’re going to rip apart the one who tosses it to you… maybe you just need a good bucket of slops, you know… and then you’d eat up and there’d be no ripping of anything…

cos when i look at Jesus, He completely gave Himself, in one sense, to the pigs, and was ripped up by them, He was a pearl, they didn’t quite ‘get’ Him and so they pulled Him apart and left Him to die… but was Jesus not following His own advice by doing that, or was He realising that the pearls He had to offer (His teaching, His lifestlye) were being ripped apart (misunderstood, ignored, rebelled against) and so He gave the best He had to offer which was Himself…

to put it another way, ‘is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?’

i’ve just celebrated my birthday (never felt younger and more alive, well maybe younger… but completely amped about life, passionate about God and people and the church as in the people of God and a new season of something exciting which still needs to be figured out) and i got like a gazillion facebook messages and sms’s and calls and it really is such a boost and an encouragement and just a general lifter and i appreciate every single one of them (thank you!)…

BUT in the midst of a rainfall of messages – and really not wanting to take anything away from anyone who posted a ‘happy birthday’ cos each one shows a moment of thought and time and effort – it is the ones where someone writes a little more than the ‘happy birthday,’ so a personalised message or a scripture or a blessing or a ‘this i dig about you’ or a wish for the future or whatever it is, that just jumps it up a notch and really has a far greater impact and appreciation – so anyone saying ‘happy birthday’ gave me time, but anyone who went further and said a little more, or the few who emailed a message to my inbox, or those who called, gave themselves, and that is always going to be a far greater gift.

and so i really tried to give myself back to a whole lot of people yesterday and spent a large part of my birthday replying to birthday messages – and i didn’t get to them all, and not even to all the people who gave themselves – i was just drawn to some people, some who gave themselves and others who simply happy birthday’d and tried to respond by giving a small piece of myself back – a prayer, a thought, a blessing etc… and i hope i was able to touch some people in return…

a large part of my birthday was spent reading and replying to messages, and it was one of the highlights of the day, cos each message is a person, and each one is important to me (and even a lot of the others that i didn’t get to)

how are your friendships – are you a ‘you gave me something that I didn’t have, but had no use’ or are you someone who can reply yes to ‘is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?’

be careful of tossing pearls, when what is needed is to give yourself…

if the shoe(s) fits

marvin the marshoes

so it’s my birthday today – happy happy – and after a super special breakfast made by my wife – the beautiful Val – and delivered to me in bed – that involved jacobs coffee and chocolate-infested and smartie surrounded yoghurt and a wad of range-free bacon – yum – i finally got given the present my wife has been building up intrigue to the last week and wow what a gift – marvin the martian – my favourite loony toon cartoon character – decorated shoes – stunning – be jealous

what a wife, and along with a few phone calls and samesses and countless facebook messages an amazing start to the day…