When Sickness or Tragedy Strikes too.

Someone you know has just suffered the death of a family member or close friend. Or is struggling through a serious disease. What do you do? What do you say?

Yesterday i wrote a post giving what i suspect were some helpful ideas, especially if you are not the closest person in the situation so take a read of them over here. But i also had some comments from some people who have been or are going through this at the moment, which are invaluable in terms of helping us deal with these situations with the utmost respect and love:

Micropoem: good intentions

good intentions

i see you

on the

street corner

cold and confused

and want to

reach out

a hand

to lift you up

until

that moment

i realise

that to properly do so

i might need

to take

a step down

[For more of my shorter poems, click here]

A Wrestling: Blessed are the Comfortable

Let me disclaim this right at the outset – this is not something i have sorted. This is something i wrestle with. Because being comfortable is relative. My ‘simple’ is another person’s ‘luxury’ and my ‘lavish’ is someone else’s ‘scraping by’.

Which is perhaps why we should not be the ones defining comfortable, enough, simplicity et al. That feels like an area where we strongly need to be led by the Holy Spirit as the Bible is not clear in terms of how this looks within the specifics of modern day life and context.

But this is a topic which raised its ugly head again for me this week and i can’t think of a specific example that brought it to the fore. Just a bunch of things i’ve been reading and thinking about i guess.

My theory is this: Many christians that i know choose comfort over obedience.

And they do it in such a way that suggests that this is the Godly way to go about stuff. As if God wants us to be comfortable.

Time and time again, i am dumbfounded by people who can read the bible and see something one way again and again and again and yet somehow end up with the belief that a Godly reality is otherwise.

FOR EXAMPLE

Jesus meets up with a young man [Matthew 19] and tells him that he will have to sell everything he has in order to be a follower. The young man walks away disappointed because he has great wealth.

Jesus has a meal with Zacchaeus [Luke 19] and Zachaeus responds by telling Jesus he will immediately give half of his possessions to the poor and pay back four times the amount to anyone he has cheated.

Jesus is hanging out at a dinner party shortly before He is arrested [John 12] and a woman comes in and pours perfume, worth a year’s wages, over His feet too symbolically prepare Him for burial.

In Matthew 8, a teacher of the law tells Jesus he wants to follow Him and Jesus responds by saying that “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Another disciple has the request of burying his father before he follows Jesus who responds, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”

In Matthew 10, Jesus speaks these uncomforting words: ‘You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.’

How is it possible to read those stories [and others, see the Beatitudes for a long list of more] and come to the conclusion that God is calling us to comfort. Before Justice. Or Mercy. Or Disciple-Making. Or Love.

Or Obedience…

WE HAVE CHOSEN COMFORT OVER OBEDIENCE

In 1 Samuel 15, Saul has disobeyed God’s command on how to deal with a city in the interests of creating a burned offering for God. So it seems, for a minute, that his intentions are good.

²² But Samuel replied:

“Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
    as much as in obeying the Lord?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
    and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
²³ For rebellion is like the sin of divination,
    and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the Lord,
    he has rejected you as king.”

To obey is better than sacrifice.

In Matthew 5 we see that making peace with someone is a bigger priority than offering a gift to the Lord.

i’m not so sure that being comfortable is bad. i don’t think i’m saying that.

But when it comes at the expense of obedience or other things Jesus calls us to…

When it becomes the thing we firmly set our eyes on above all other…

Well then i am saying, that we need to be doing some wrestling and heart-searching and Jesus-following, so that we don’t end up one day standing in front of God with Him looking at us and saying, “I never knew you.” [Matthew 7]

Anyone else wrestling with this? Any thoughts you have on either comfort or obedience? i would love to hear about it in the comments… 

[To take a look at some of my favourite verses in the bible, click here]

40 Days of Lent: Day 8

DAY 8

Woke up to some really bad news this morning. A close friend had suffered one of the hugest losses imaginable.

Task: Weep with someone who is weeping. 

If you don’t know someone personally that is weeping, then pick up a newspaper or go and visit a website, because there is enough corporate weeping going on that you can join – the families and friends of the missing airplanes, the people in the various countries that are involved in war right now [many with themselves], the rate of crime or rape or violence in your city [and if your city is doing fine, then you’re welcome to borrow mine]

If it is someone you know personally then with every piece of strength you can muster, i beg of you, DO NOT WHIP OUT A TRITE SAYING THAT IS GOING TO DO MORE DAMAGE THAN GOOD. Chances are your words are useless right now [even that bible verse you are itching to send]. So start by putting your arm around their shoulder and being someone they can mourn with or on. If you have to use words then simply stick with, ‘I’m here’ or ‘I care’ or ‘I love you’ or ‘Please tell me if there is anything i can do.’

And then do the thing you can do. Offer to make a meal. Look after the children.  Clean their house. Give them a gift voucher for a meal out. Whatever they feel is a helpful way to get involved, let them direct you to that thing. Send flowers.

This is a time to be. And to weep with the person who is weeping. It is not a time to fix or talk or give reasons or make apologies even.

Just love well.

 [To head to Day 9 and a prayer of humility, click here]