How painful is getting a tattoo?

 So a lot of people without tattoos ask the question, ‘Just how painful is it?’

The reason they don’t know is that it is a very tough question to answer. But i will give it a shot.

Also it is important to know that where you get your tattoo makes a difference – while inside of the arm has some degree of pain to it, i can quite imagine it is not as bad as the guy i heard who got his eyeball [not even kidding] tattooed or the guy who got his, well, let’s just say some places are more painful than others.

DURING

The best way i can describe it is as a series of moments of discomfort [for the most part] interrupted by dots of pain. The kind of pain one would get from jabbing a needle into the inside of one’s arm [if you had a tattoo like mine]. So there for a second then gone. Then back. And there again. Now back to discomfort.

Or to put it another way: Irritating, irritating, irritating, sore, sore, sore, irritating, irritating, sore, irritating, irritating, irritating, irritating, sore, irritating…

Christina used two different kinds of needles on me – the first was the outline and the second was more for shading. i definitely enjoyed the second one a lot more.

During the first 5 to 15 minutes of the tattoo process [which was about an hour or just less than] i was in ‘Never again! What was i thinking?’ mode, but then you get used to it and during the last 15 minutes i was starting to plan my next tattoo with a vengeance.

AFTER

The part i was, and am, most scared of though is the next couple of weeks, waiting for it to heal. Washing it four times a day with lukewarm soapy water and trying to navigate the different advice from everyone else who has had a tattoo, while just trying to stick to what my tattoo lady told me.

And hoping i don’t get to the itchy part – have been having nightmares where i completely scratch off the scabbing that is meant to happen as the tattoo heals. Woergh!

But, in the four days that have passed since then, it has mostly been a dull throbbing or sensitivity. So comes and goes a little. Definitely not huge pain but a little sting’y.

THE CONCLUSION

Getting a tattoo was definitely not as sore as i possibly imagined and probably not anything near to childbirth [yes, people with tattoos and children?] but it was not for the absolutely faint of heart.

The pain and irritation is probably not worth it for a whim, but definitely is for something more meaningful…

I took a LONG time [years] in getting mine and largely because i could not settle on the right idea but i would definitely advise that as the biggest thing – don’t get it if you’re not absolutely satisfied with the design. Don’t settle for a bad tattoo. It is with you for life, or at least until you can afford good laser surgery.

But a good one? One with deep meaning and significance to you? i am all for that.

[To return to the beginning and the question of is it okay for a Christ follower to get a tattoo, click here]

The Story of My Tattoo

Following on from the previous post asking if it is okay for a follower of Jesus to get a tattoo, i thought i would share the story behind my tattoo:

THE PLACE

For the longest time i thought it was going to be tennis ball sized and on my left shoulder. Then quite recently, when i started seriously thinking about it [has been on and off thought for at least five years] i realised that the only time that would be seen would be when i wore a vest or took my shirt off. And since i don’t take my shirt off all that often, that seemed like a bit of a waste. Inspired by my wife, tbV’s tat on her left wrist, i started to think that something on my arm where people could see it [but where i could cover it up if necessary] might be a better idea.

THE DESIGN

The main reason i did not get a tattoo years ago, was that i could never figure out exactly what the design was going to be.

i mentioned in the previous post how, the time i felt i got permission from God to get a tattoo, the phrase ‘Seek first His Kingdom’ from Matthew 6.33 was in my head and so i always thought it would be that. It was very much a being marked for Jesus verse and would leave not too much doubt about the meaning of my tat.

i even started a Facebook group a while back and invited artistic friends of mine to submit ideas and drawings, but not enough people took that up and the ones that did were pretty awful [sorry, but they were!]

i spent a lot of time at different intervals searching around on Uncle Google, trying to see if he had any ideas, but mostly got ideas of things i didn’t want anywhere near my body, than things that i did.

Last year when i turned 40 i was given a bunch of money from some really great friends and i decided to put it towards my tattoo and so for a year i have had the inclination and now the opportunity and all i needed was the actual tattoo.

And then Val beat me to it while we were in Americaland, and while i was super happy for her getting a really great tattoo that she was happy with, i felt no closer to having something i was happy with.

Apart from the phrase, it was always going to be likely that i had something F.I.S.H. themed as my nickname is Fish which stands for Faithful In Serving Him and so i started to think that might be a viable option. i have always liked the Christian fish symbol, or Icthus, which represented the words for Jesus, Christ, God, Son, Saviour and so played around with ideas on that:

i had also played around with the idea of the crown of thorns [which Jesus was made to wear on the cross as a form of mocking Him claiming to be the King of the Jews] and the idea of using nails to make the fish symbol which i had seen and liked before:

Eventually, with my 41st birthday approaching, and having not gotten my tattoo done in Americaland, i decided i just needed to do something. So i put a call out on Facebook and a friend of mine suggested a friend, and found me an email address and i emailed her and arranged a meeting. i arrived for the meeting and the shop’s name was ‘The Devil’s Rejects’, which is a little bit of an off-putting name for a follower of Jesus, until i realised that as a follower of Jesus, that pretty much does qualify me as a devil’s reject and so how appropriate. i had emailed Christina some of my vague ideas and so felt pretty dumb when i sat in front of her and she asked me if i had any more and i said, “No, not really.” But as we chatted i moved from the idea of a picture of a fish to simply the letters of F.I.S.H. [one of my motivations was a conversation starter in terms of being able to share about my faith] and we spoke a bit about the kind of lettering i had imagined and even though we didn’t progress very far, by the time i left, i felt like i had some ideas to work with. My Facebook community suggested a place to hunt down some fonts and i discovered a few i thought might work and i sent her the idea for just the word F.I.S.H. and also my idea to have some crown of thorns type lines around the word as kind of edgy border. A day or two later, Christina sent me two potential designs. The first one pretty much fell into what i had asked for/suggested but was completely nothing like i was looking for. The second one in some ways was also not what i had been thinking at all, and yet it instantly dived off the page and into my heart and became exactly what i wanted. She had decided to go with the fish shape which i had given up on and i absolutely loved [and love] the design she came up with which kinda used the crown of thorns imagery i had sent her to create the shape of the fish. The writing was perfect and apart from moving the words ‘Faithful In Serving Him’ [which i had told her later i would like in cursive] from inside the fish to below the fish so it would be more legible and then lining it up with the curve of the fish, it was almost perfect. i scheduled an appointment for a few days later [to give me time to do a blood donation which i have missed for three years while in Americaland, cos, you know, African blood!] and every day i would open up the email with the design and just be in love with it all over again. i think one of my biggest fears was that i would get to the point of getting a tattoo done being okay with it and not absolutely stoked. Settling is one of my biggest fears. But having wanted this for so long and spent so long trying to figure out what i wanted and never being quite happy with what i came up with, it just felt like it would never come together. But every day, a few times a day, i would open up the email and smile and be in love all over again. I had found my tattoo. And i was 95% happy with it. Loved loved loved the whole thing, but was a little nervous about the ‘i’. i had asked for it to be a small ‘i’ as opposed to the capitals of the F, S and H. This has significant meaning as one of my favourite verses in the bible is John 3.30 where John the Baptist is talking and says about Jesus, ‘i must become smaller, He must become bigger.’ This is the main reason i always write my ‘i’s as small and always capitalise the He and Him when referring to God. Just a simple tradition i have in place to honour God and remind myself that it is all about Him.

THE FINAL TWEAK

So when i sat down in front of Christina for the tattooing to happen, i explained to her i didn’t want to derail the process or freak her out as we were about to begin [i imagine rule #1 of Getting a Tattoo done is ‘Don’t piss off your Tattoo Artist!’] but the smallness of the ‘i’ was the only thing stopping it from being absolutely perfect. She immediately suggested a solution and BOOM! Game on. i cannot recommend Christina Andrianatos enough [she is so good she even tattoos herself sometimes – and she would even improve your Spongebob Squarepants tattoo if you asked her to] – so gracious and patient when she had to deal with this clueless guy trying to figure out the tattoo – and then great in communicating back and forth until we had something i was happy with – completely gentle and reassuring throughout the whole process – answering questions and completely professional in every aspect. After all, when she was done with me, i had one of these: Exactly! How hot is THAT??? So super happy, worth the wait and can’t wait for it to be fully healed up so that i am ready to go.

[For the answer to the question, ‘Just how painful is getting a tattoo?, click here]

Is it okay for a Christ-follower to get a tattoo? [Part I – Yes. And No!]

i have been asked this question a lot, from the Christ-following perspective of ‘Is it okay for a Christian to get a tattoo or not?’

And then yesterday i got my first one and so my opinion on the matter should be pretty easy to figure out.

The one verse i am aware of that speaks of it directly, can be found in Leviticus 19.28 which i thought said, ‘Do not cut your bodies for the dead,’ and i have always argued that it was a culturally specific thing that was talking directly to the process of marking yourself ‘for the dead’ which was a pagan ritual and therefore very different to what any Christians i know with tattoos were going for.

The only other verse i have ever heard quote against tattoos was the one in 1 Corinthians 6 which reads,

¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

And to be honest, this feels a lot thinner as an argument against tattoos as the people raising it will not use the same verse as an argument against eating badly or not exercising and other things which are way more detrimental to your temple than a tattoo.

SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM

i clearly remember the time i was driving to the airport many years ago to pick up my parents and i had this sense of God telling me it was okay for me to get a tattoo. Not that i should get one, but that if i wanted to [as this was something i had been thinking about] then i could go ahead and do so. The verse that specifically came to mind was Matthew 6.33 that reads, ‘Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.’

So for me that was a significant moment of permission granted and for many years i thought i would get the phrase ‘Seek First His Kingdom’ as my tattoo. Again, not because God had said i should but cos i felt He had said it was okay.

The main thing i thought from that moment on though, was that i wanted a tattoo and specifically i wanted to be marked for Jesus. i wanted a mark on my body that signified that my life was given to Christ.

Which plays into the end of the Corinthians verse where it says, Therefore honor God with your bodies, which is exactly what i am hoping to do.

OR PUT TATTOO MARKS ON YOURSELVES

It was only much later, as in about ten minutes ago, that i checked up on that verse which i feel like i have checked out many times, just to make sure i was quoting it right when writing a post on it, to find that it actually reads like this:

²⁸ “‘Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord.

Oops. That seems a little more specific. i had not seen the second part of that verse before and it does seem a little hard to wiggle around, excepting that Mary Fairchild, in her article, ‘Should Christians have tattoos?’ gives a contextually helpful explanation of her feelings towards it [which i agree with] over here:

This is a question many Christians struggle with. I believe tattooing falls into the category of “disputable matters” where the Bible is not clear. But wait a minute, you might be thinking. The Bible says in Leviticus 19:28, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord.” (NLT) How much clearer can that be?

It’s important, however, to look at the verse in context. This passage in Leviticus, including the surrounding text, is specifically dealing with the pagan religious rituals of the people living around the Israelites. God’s desire is to set his people apart from other cultures. The focus here is prohibiting worldly, heathen worship and witchcraft. God forbids his holy people to engage in idolatrous, pagan worship and sorcery which imitates the heathens. He does this out of protection, because he knows this will lead them away from the one true God.

It’s interesting to observe verse 26, “Do not eat meat that has not been drained of its blood,” and verse 27, “Do not trim off the hair on your temples or trim your beards.” Well, certainly many Christians today eat non-kosher meats and get haircuts without participating in the forbidden worship of pagans. Back then these customs were associated with pagan rites and rituals. Today they are not.

She sums it up as falling into the category of disputable issues as related to in Romans 14, which among other things, gives permission to believers to eat food that was offered to idols in certain circumstances, and shifted the choice of getting a tattoo or not to one of motivation and awareness of those around you.

My sister, Dawn, summed it up in a similar way when she said to me that she doesn’t like the idea of people getting tattoos just for the sake of it, but when someone gets it for a specific reason, like i have in wanting mine for a number of years now, then she thinks that it great.

So the answer to the question, ‘Is getting a tattoo right or wrong?” is yes. And no. Depending on you and your circumstance and any weaker brother that may be watching.

i do feel like mine was sanctioned by God. and i did it intentionally to be marked for Jesus and to hopefully precipitate conversations with people when i explain what it means to me [there are a few levels] but more of that in the next post.

[To read the story of The History of my Tat and see the beautiful thing, click here]

the joy of friends who hurt you

This is my buddy Dunc, who is my best friend from school and who tbV and i are currently staying with while we try find a place to live [as well as his wife Megan and sons Connor and Ryan].

Three times a week he intentionally causes me a lot of pain…

…and it’s great!

Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
    but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Well, to be more accurate he ensures that i am in the place of pain.

i usually use that verse from Proverbs 27.6 in the Bible to talk about accountability and someone who is not scared to love you well by telling you when you are doing something foolish or hurtful. But in this case it’s slightly different, although i guess still a form of accountability, as Duncan is my 100 push-ups partner.

When i was in Stellenbosch i did this before about four years ago, and i think both of us are quite skeptical as to how i could have finished it back then, but Dunc was doing it when we moved in and so i joined him.

It is a six week program that you can find at hundredpushups.com although the reality is that if you don’t complete a week you do it again and so we are on week ten or something but in week 5 of the program. Today we attempted sets of 20, 20, 24, 24, 20, 20, 22 and then as many as you can with a minimum of 50. All with 45 second intervals in between.

i use the word ‘attempted’ as mine looked a lot more like 20, 20, 24, 24, 13, 13, 13, 18 which as you can see is far off the mark.

But it is also 145 pushups in about 15 minutes, which is not such a bad thing. Especially as we go on to do five different arm muscle builders with some hand weights.

What makes it easier though, and far more enjoyable, is that i have a good buddy doing it with me. And even more than that, no matter how crap i am, he is constantly cheering me on and telling me how good i’m doing. He nailed all of them except the last one and i was short on four of the sets [having given blood yesterday, as he kept telling me, may have had some small effect] and yet he keeps on shouting out, “Good work, buddy. You’re doing great.”

We’re probably a couple of weeks away from bottles though.

So friends who push you to be the best you can be, who hold you accountable, who challenge you three times a week to do something that will stretch you and cause you a fair deal of pain but which will have good results in the end… you can’t buy these with money.

And i truly do have some of the best friends in the world…

Who hurts you? i would LOVE to hear about someone in the comments section who is your Duncan… tell us a story!

And of course, who are YOU Duncan to?

How can man die better – Intro

One of the ways i am trying to prepare myself to be a part of a better conversation in South Africa in terms of race, reconciliation and unity is by learning some of the country’s history…

…from different voices than i grew up with.

To that effect, after my weekend at Robben Island, i got hold of a copy of Benjamin Pogrund’s book titled, ‘Robert Sobukwe: How Can Man Die Better’ and just finished reading it this morning.

Before i read the book, i had no real knowledge at all about who Robert Sobukwe was, or his role in our country’s history. I had heard his name before we visited Robben Island mostly in conversations with my friend Nkosi who has written some posts for me. And it was certainly interesting to me that he had a separate prison house set apart from the typical prison cells [including those of Nelson Mandela] on the island which seemed to strongly indicate there was something very different about him. But beyond that i didn’t really have much idea who he was.

i thoroughly enjoyed the book. It’s always hard when reading someone’s version of another person’s story to be able to separate truth from fiction, but i feel like i got a pretty good idea of the life and character of this man. Reading some comments from a variety of other sources seem to back up a lot of the key features of his life.

Next up for me is the book, ‘I write what I like’ which is a collection of Steve Biko essays, so i can learn some more about another South African who was pretty much just a headline to me til now. [bad form, Brett]

But in the meantime, i thought i would share a couple of passages or thoughts that stood out for me from ‘How Can Man Die Better’ in the hope that it will encourage you to get hold of a copy of the book and find out more about this incredible man’s life and refusal to be broken by an evil and unjust system that took so much away from him.

While searching for the cover pic, i learnt that the title is from this quote in a book by Thomas B Macauley:

How Can Man Die Better – part Afrikan

How Can Man Die Better – part enemy thoughts

How Can Man Die Better – part brotherly pact

How Can Man Die Better – part bigger man

How Can Man Die Better – part black racism?

How Can Man Die Better – part economic justice

let there be wrestling [and it was good!]

Too often, it has been the arrival of the question that has instantly muted the conversation.

As i have sought to write [and invite others to] about topics such as Race and Reconciliation, the Church, Relationships and more, it has been disappointing to me how often a term [White Privilege] or phrase [We aren’t currently part of a local church congregation] or idea [No sex before marriage] has sent people scurrying off back to where people scurry to, before there has even been a chance to engage with why they disagree or think differently, and without them seizing the opportunity of looking at something they have a strong opinion on, from a different point of view.

christians tend, on occasion, to be even worse, often throwing out the line, ‘But the bible says so’ as if that phrase in itself is an adequate defence. They often don’t feel the need to back that up with where they believe the bible might be saying it is so, or being willing to engage in conversations on context and meaning within the wider story of the bible [misquoted or out-of-context single verses being typical to this kind of conversation].

AT THE VERY LEAST ASK THE QUESTION

i believe that is such a great start. Simply acknowledging that someone else thinks very differently on a matter than you do, and that it might be helpful to at least ask the question – What if they are right?

Especially if this is something you hold to strongly. If they are wrong and you are right, then asking the question and engaging a little bit more deeply on why they believe differently can only surely strengthen your belief and resolve.

Sometimes people run away from a conversation [or dive in and argue defensively] in which they have not even properly heard what the other person is really saying, and instead are responding to what they thought the person was saying. This calls for more listening and i started to address this last year in a series titled, I’m not sure you’re against that thing you think you’re against, where i looked at Rape Culture and White Privilege as two examples of this. Both of these are such important ongoing conversations to be having and yet so many people refuse to engage or come in swinging without really taking time to properly hear what the conversation is actually about.

i hope in 2015, at the very least, to discover ways to get more people to at least ask the questions – specifically in areas such as race, reconciliation and a unified South Africa; on what being a part of the church really means and how that can best be lived out; on the way men treat women in general and looking towards the hope that we can do better; and in areas of money, giving and poverty. Others may come up along the way, but those are some key areas to me right now, which i feel can use some attention.

One way to improve yourself in this area is to work on your listening. When someone is talking to you, do they have your full attention, or are you already working on your response to them? Take time to listen and then let your response follow.

A second way is to invite different voices to speak to you – we tend to listen [both in terms of who we read or follow online and in terms of who we invite to speak to us] to people who look largely like us [for me that would be christian, white, male, middle class men] and so diversify the information and the stories you take in. From using different news sources, to following bloggers of different race or culture, to reading books written by people with strongly different opinions than yours, start creating opportunities to listen well and maybe even learn. After all, if you only ever listen to voices you agree with, you are less likely to learn new things.

Let’s make 2015 a year of dipping our feet into the deep end and seeing what happens…

Just say, “It’s not okay.”

i do not know all the answers.

Let’s start there, shall we. This is not a post from the guy who knows all the answers, trying to make you feel bad because you don’t. In fact, at the moment i’m really just working on trying to figure out the right questions.

I’m not expecting you to have all the answers, and i’m not claiming that you do and that you’re ignoring them or a really bad person for not jumping into action and putting everything right. None of this is about that.

When i post a rant about the ridiculous amount of money that football players get for being transferred from one club to another and you jump in with your statement of, “Yeah, but the football player doesn’t see that money. Most of it goes to the club.” as if you are suggesting that the poor football player is barely keeping his head above the breadline…

When i speak about the idea of ‘White Privilege’ and how we need to address some of the imbalance that still exists between black and white [and others] in this country and you are quick to defend with a statement about how it’s okay because “the blacks stole it from the khoi and the san” or something that looks more like, “i worked hard for what i have, so do you just want me to give it up?” as if the wealth is now equally distributed in our country and as many white people are caught struggling to even make enough for a daily meal as black people…

i am not wanting you to take the blame and admit that everything wrong in this country is your fault…

i am not even wanting you to take partial blame and say that anything that is not great in this country is your fault…

i am not asking you to give up everything you have, sell it and give the money to the poor…

i am not expecting you to have all the answers we need to fix government and education and service delivery and more…

and i am not even expecting you to have one answer to one problem and feel the responsibility of getting that one sorted…

All i am wanting to hear and see from you, right now, is for you to be able to look at the picture of wealth standing alongside the picture of poverty in South Africa and to be able to utter the words, ‘That is not okay.’ 

This is not acceptable. It is not good. Something really needs to change.

i feel like if we can just get to there, that will be such an excellent starting point for everything that is to follow.

“I want to be part of that change.” is the war cry i would like for us all to work towards after that.

But can we just agree, when we drive to the airport in Cape Town and look to our right [if we can pull our head out of the sand, long enough to do so] that ‘That is not okay.’

Do i know what to do? No. [Although i may have some ideas to start us off and know people with ideas]

Do i need to ‘fix it’ all myself? No.

Do people with money need to feel bad? i hope not. i have money. so only if we are not using it well, i guess.

All i want to hear from you as step 1, is whether you think this is okay or not. Reply in the comments. 

My name is brett “Fish” anderson and i do not believe this is okay!

[For other South African related posts and taking this conversation forwards, click here]