i spoke yesterday about the search for a new normal.
When it comes to a new and exciting more-unified South Africa [which i what i dream and try and live towards] then one of the areas we need to see this in is moving away from the idea and practice of “Us vs. Them”.
Let’s look at some actual comments made on my blog recently:
‘The shack fires are caused by the shack dwellers. They should maybe go back to the EC? It is illegal to build shacks on open land.’ [Viv]
‘Further, they have a deep seated jealousy of the colonist whom they can see on a daily basis is more sophisticated and superior in intellect and behavior to them. What they cannot have or be…they want to destroy.’ [ClaytonAndrew]
‘I fear I’m out too. lol. Why bother when they vote ANC?’ [Marcia]
‘All they want now is for whites to come back and bail them out. They want whites to come and do all the donkey-work, get paid peanuts and be refused promotion for efficiency. Stuff that, I say. Let them sink. If they are so good then they must show us what they can do. They should show us, without the help of white consultants, how they can save themselves and the country.’ [Derick]
And many more…
Us vs. Them
What i typically hear in the Us vs. Them discourse that regularly rears its ugly head in my blog comments is a sense of the Us [typically white people] being superior to the Them [typically black people]. Sometimes it is clearly stated in terms of the idea that white people have a higher IQ than black people [and the assumption that even if that was true that it meant anything significant beyond having the specific skills that make you good at IQ tests as opposed to the implied consequence of it meaning something about being more clever] or better skills [cos of how white people invented everything, apparently] and other times just more subtly insinuated or assumed.
And as long as we divide this country into an Us and a Them [or a number of Us and Thems – men vs women, Cape Town vs Joburg, Local vs Foreigner etc] i think we will have problems when it comes to transformation. No, let’s be stronger on that – we WILL have problems!
The major issue is that the moment we speak [think/act] Us vs Them, we build a wall that is impossible for the Them to climb. We ‘protect’ ourselves behind walls and wires and alarms and as much as it all may give us the impression that we are safe from outside harm, we have also very much cut ourselves off from the very relationships needed to break down and do away with any feeling of need of the barriers we have put up.
Protect from hate and hurt? Maybe. But also definitely ‘protect’ from love, understanding, unity, growth. Mutual togetherness.
A guy in a hat once asked ‘Am I not destroying my enemies by making friends with them?’ [Actually i think we can give Jesus Christ credit for the idea when one of His principle teachings was to ‘Love your enemy as yourself’ – enemy love being one of the defining marks of the early Christians]
And that is where the Us vs. Them has to die. And it really must die, if we are to have any hope of moving forwards and creating something new and appealing and workable. I have no doubt that the solution for the majority of South Africa’s problems is relationships: genuine, authentic, sacrificial, costly.
‘To love is to recognise yourself in another’ [Ekhart Tolle]. A Them is nameless and more than likely faceless. It is very easy for a Them to quickly be seen as a thing or an it. A Them dehumanises so that the person we are dealing with can quickly become an issue or a problem and we can be very cold and calculated in how we deal with it. But the moment a Them has a face, and then perhaps a name, and the moment we lean in and start to listen [and i mean really listen – to hear and understand with not sense of judging or comparing or explaining away] and hear the story of the other, that is when the Them starts to transform into an Us.
That is when the walls and wires start to seem a lot more unnecessary.
Black guy begging at my car window for money at the traffic lights is easy to drive by, without looking at or giving a second thought to.
But Xolani, who is trying to make money to keep his younger sisters in school and put enough food on the table today so that they don’t go to bed hungry again. Whose father was never on the scene and whose mother died of TB. Well, suddenly it is a whole lot easier for me to start to empathise and draw alongside and see if there is any way that we can walk a journey together.
One of the refrains we heard a lot when we were at the Simple Way was the line that ‘It’s not that the rich and poor don’t like each other. It’s that they don’t know each other.’ So typically donations from rich to poor were handled by a middle person or organisation in the form of a church or NPO and so rich and poor never got to lock eyes or share a meal or hear a story.
It is the same with the Us and the Them.
i don’t believe we will be able to argue this one out. i think we desperately need to relationship it out.
One of tbV and my decisions when looking for a place was that we didn’t want to move into an area where everyone looked like us. While our priorities changed somewhat during the searching process [as we realised looking back on almost 6 intensive years of marriage that we actually could use a season of giving some focus to us and working on our marriage and having a space conducive to that] we didn’t let go of that one. Even though Southfield is not Mannenberg or a township, the area we live in has a variety of different people living there and the next step is figuring out how to engage well with our neighbours as we settle in.
But i do think where we choose to live will play a key role in this conversation.
i think who we choose to regularly engage with will play a similar role – i have loved ‘meeting’ some new black friends via simply creating some space for them to write on my blog and look forward to growing those relationships offline. My friend Nkosi is an absolute joy to me and is teaching me so much through some of the live conversations we have been able to have. Both Avuyile and Sindile wrestle with cricket-related issues with me online and share in the joys and frustrations of our national team, and were the matches not regularly at 3am i have no doubt Avuyile and i would be watching the quarters together. i do love and enjoy my many white friends but we definitely need to be more intentional in who we spend our time with if we are wanting to be a part of a new and diverse country that takes time to listen to each other and wrestle out issues together. It has been incredible watching God bring people of different race and culture into our lives in a way that has felt natural as opposed to us feeling like we need to go and find black and coloured people to be friends with. But i do think that if we look around in life and discover that everyone looks a lot like us, that there is something that should probably change.
Obviously there is a lot more. But i think it begins with us taking on the whole Us vs. Them mindset and relegating it to the garbage dump. And then setting fire on it. And feeding the remains to ants. And then nuking them. You get the point.
While it remains, it will continue to devalue and desensitise and especially dehumanise whoever we refer to as ‘the other’. We need to have our lives renewed by the transformation of our minds.
And it has to start with me. Because as much as i want to believe i am not afflicted by the disease of Us vs. Them thinking, i more than likely am. So i need to make myself accountable to those who love me and invite them to point it out and challenge it any time it surfaces. And squash it immediately and every time.
And it has to start with you. Will you commit with me to actively trying to move away from an Us vs. Them mindset and Us vs. Them language?
Let’s see if we can find the ‘We’ together in this. Because that is when the dreams will really start kicking into action and be being realised.
[For some other South Africa related posts on my blog, click here]
Irresistibly Fish 
Powerful!!!
Thanks buddy. This feels so important for us to start getting right. Much appreciative of you being patient with me and giving me spaces to listen.
Nkosi, if only more whites would share their houses like this guy with black people. They will see we are not thieves. We good guys.
White women would be the biggest losers once the broad-based black economic empowerment amendment bill was enacted as expected early next year, BEE specialist Andile Tlhoaele said on Monday. The proposed changes meant they would no longer be entitled to benefit from empowerment programmes as has been the case till now. This represents a victory for the black business lobby, which has been fighting for their exclusion.
White women would no longer be regarded as legitimate beneficiaries of black economic empowerment once imminent new laws come into effect, a member of a subcommittee of the presidential BEE advisory committee, Andile Tlhoaele, said in an interview.
The Broad-based Black Economic Empowerment (B-BBEE) Amendment Bill eliminates all white people including the disabled. “The definition of black people is now clear and aligned with the Constitution,” Tlhoaele said.
There has been widespread criticism that white women were benefitting disproportionately from black economic empowerment with their black counterparts relegated to the bottom rung of the drive to redress societal inequalities. The Black Management Forum has been leading the calls for white women to be excluded after it came to light that they were the fastest rising category of people in terms of employment equity.
Tlhoaele said the inclusion of white women had been abused. This had defeated the aim of true inclusivity.
Now that the B-BBEE Act would take precedence over other legislation relating empowerment, enterprises would no longer be able to claim employment equity points for white women. Employment equity is a key element of the B-BBEE scorecard used to rate empowerment credentials.
The Employment Equity Act still has white women as a designated group for affirmative action purposes.
Tlhoaele said proposed changes to BEE legislation would go a long in ensuring that growing numbers of previously disadvantaged South Africans were drawn into the mainstream economy.
Trade and Industry Minister Rob Davies gazetted the Broad-based Black Economic Empowerment (B-BBEE) Amendment Bill two weeks ago and gave members of the public 60 days to make submissions. Another highlight of the amendments has been the criminalisation of the practice of misrepresenting BEE credentials, known as fronting.
In terms of the proposed amendments, those involved in fronting could face jail terms of up to 10 years or be fined 2%-10% of annual turnover depending on the seriousness of the incident. In addition, contracts awarded to guilty companies could be cancelled.
Further, the amended law requires the government and its agencies to comply. The auditor-general will audit and report on BEE compliance for government departments.
Stock exchange-listed companies will be required to submit annual reports to the B-BBEE Commission, which the amendments propose. The commission’s function would include supervising adherence to the act.
It would further receive and investigate complaints relating to B-BBEE, and maintain a registry of major empowerment transactions. “The proposals are a bold move and demonstrate government’s commitment to ensure successful implementation of BEE,” Tlhoaele said. “The Broad-based Black Economic Empowerment Amendment Bill closes many loopholes in the current BEE Act – a move that is long overdue.”
Read more at http://www.censorbugbear.org/africa/south-africa/all-whites-now-finally-excluded-from-the-south-african-job-market#0dqgPJoTZBeQ8bGD.99
Its about time that white women started to stop being madam and became a domestic worker. Let them experience it then we’ll all be equal.
Runs to kitchen, makes popcorn and awaits the return of the Viv.
In all seriousness though, I have come to feel that so often in a Christian context, the failure to recognise the other as image bearer has created many of these false dichotomies, we teach people that “you” the all powerful individual is made in the image of God, we do not teach around the concept of image bearer, so often why people are so offended by the imagery of black Jesus.
Hm, good thoughts. Christian vs. The Other definitely one worth looking a little deeper at and definitely think we have created quite a huge Us vs. Them paradigm largely from the front so much repenting and rethinking to be done. Oh we all know Viv is coming, but just not by which name…
A Viv by any of there name …
the question that I wrestle with continuously is how do you undo this thinking model one that demands the needs of the individual be met. God is this giant ATM in the sky waiting to answer your prayers.
I remember a few years back a church wanting to have a separate service for the homeless because people felt uncomfortable, I have struggled to fit in anywhere since. So much to say, I will be back 🙂
Funny you should say that, i’m having a book launch on just that thing next week… where are you based? Keen to get some okes together at a coffee shop sometime soonish to discuss these things over a mocha! i think personally i would tend to be okay with the uncomfortable people leaving cos to me that kinda shows they don’t get it. But then they are typically the ones paying for lights and electricity and for the powers that be it becomes a tough one. So ja.
I live in the Deep South 🙂 would be keen
You don’t seem to know what is happening in government do you? Do you know about the new bills they want to pass? It is US vs THEM.
You are a minority group now in a democratically elected country. If you don’t like it then go back to Holland.
I am not using aliases. I was asked by others to come comment here.
That is so weird via just the other day you said you used aliases… Or did “they” tell you to?
It’s the broederbond, they have a collective of ‘ideas’, but one ‘community’ poster … Viv this is not meant disrespectfully, but you need to realise that white South Africans (and I am one) are in the minority, we are heading for an unhealthy reality unless we start to unlearn some things, learn how to work together and (especially) people of faith need to exhibit this Kingdom of God in a manner that speaks of this resurrected Kingdom represented.
“unhealthy reality”? Is that a threat?
Are you saying we should just work all day, give them everything and bend over? lol not gonna happen.
This blog is being watched closely…
Seems like that would be the threat? Cool Viv, time for a new alias cos I think you’re done here… All the best…
Viv, viv, viv…
Your posts are actually making me wonder if I am becoming racist against whites… Ha ha!
Jokes aside, I do hear your frustration that you are a hard-working, tax-paying citizen and it appears that those in power in this country are taking it all for their own gain. While I feel your pain, I think this has little to do with what Brett is getting at here or with the reality of the lives of most South Africans – the far majority of which happen to be black.
Like you I work all day. Like you I pay taxes. Like you I am white.
Unlike you (unless you’re really into this alias thing) I am male (& 32 years old at that). Unlike you, I realise that 1 of the biggest contributing factors to me having a good, stable job and career is the fact that I am white – and that in South Africa this means I have had a privileged life so far. What you and I as white people take for granted as living the “average, normal life” in this country is a far cry from the experience of the majority of our countrymen and women… For me this includes things like – the opportunity to go to a good public school; to grow up in a brick and mortar house with my own room; that I had parents who put me through varsity (not everyone privileged is even so fortunate!) and helped me find my feet when moving out of home. To name but a few examples…
No one in my family or no one in any of my extended family (or even my friend’s families) ever worked as a domestic worker or as a gardener or construction labourer… None of them grew up living in a shack or at the hands of poverty… None of them were subjected to sub-standard schooling… I could go on.
Are there privileged black people? Certainly. Are there some very wealthy black people? Of course. Is this the case for the majority of South Africa’s population, which happens to be non-white? Definitely not. Does the fact that many of those in government betray public trust & misuse public money help the causet? We all know it doesn’t.
The point is that as white people we are privileged in South Africa, due to our history. Our mothers & fathers were privileged. And this due to a system that disenfranchised and ripped privilege and normal standards of life away from non-white people.
We can choose to continue defining this divide with “Us” and “Them” or we can choose to view life as Brett challenges us to and learn to live together… as impossible as that may seem… especially for those of “us” who are conveniently sheltered from the hardships of the “many” in our country.
Ah thankx Dave. Appreciate the patience and the hope. Let’s do this.
You don’t understand that you have advantages because of apartheid laws. From 1994 onwards society will become more equal. At some point we shall all live in brick houses with water and electricity and attend school. You will pay more probably – now yes. Later it will be more equal as more become professional. If this takes 50 years then so be it. Apartheid was for a century or more. If you don’t want to work to pay for other people then you must go to Australia or to Britain or Holland. At this time you will work and you’ll work hard. All this work and you might be slightly better off than the poor. The only choice is to leave or to work less and be poor as well. Work is not “punishment” – it is making wrongs write. You benifitted from wrongs so now you pay the price! You cannot take from people and then expect to live like kings. Now you will pay through hard work. Yes, even if tax is 90 percent, you still can leave. You see this? Its your choice to be a South AFRICAN or to leave. African culture is about sharing.
Define work.
Is it not work to be a domestic worker? Or a gardener in the hot sun, or miner, or laborer.
Just be happy you in a aircondition office. Its too bad that you earn millions as an estate agent. Or millions playing on the stock market. Labor is labor and we all work. The unemployed mothers – who must feed their child? In Ubuntu it is a community who raise the child to become a lawyer.
I only used one other alias about a week ago as I felt you were deleting my posts. There are a few people on another forum who come here…
Thank-you for exposing white privilege. It is time whites also realized they are human and we should all live equally in the same type of environment without inequality.
White people have done and continue to do a massive injustice to people of colour by engineering a society in which racism, white privilege and profound racial inequality can thrive.
A subservient, passively conservative, “I’m content with the status quo of profound racial inequality” mood is instilled into the psyches of people of colour via the education system (education into dumbness), the media and religion. In order to change this violently unequal society we need to unite as people of colour, rebel against any passivity, stop being slaves to white supremacy and become violently vocal against racism, white privilege and profound racial inequality. The racists won’t like it and that’s obviously a good thing because an unhappy agent of inequality is a sign that steps are being taken towards a more equitable society.
This society considers the white “middle” class wealth, income values and general societal advantages as normal and default and that nobody should question, interrogate or try to change them. The reality is that current and historical racism not only oppress people of colour, they elevate white people above what’s truly normal. When talking about racial inequality, we need to look at both the underprivileged non-white side of the equation as well as the over-privileged white side.
This society conceals their white privileges. This society doesn’t consider white denial about racism and white privilege a problem. The reality is that white people “didn’t see” racism and white privilege even when it was obvious: 1600’s, 1700’s, 1800’s, 1900’s and 2000’s. History has shown that whites lie about what they see in front of their eyes. If people of colour and whites can’t agree on what we’re seeing in front of our eyes, how are we supposed to formulate solutions together?
What you are saying is true. For the greater good we need to compromise. Sure you can work with people and promote societal restructuring and restitution which would lead to equality. Gap housing is needed in areas. We need to see black people also living in Oudekraal, camps bay and there is open land in Rondebosh common as well as gold courses for housing for the poor.
This society promotes a “liberal” colourblind, non-racial attitude that is blind to and silent about the consequences of race whether they are positive consequences for whites or negative consequences for people of colour. In order to address racial inequality, we have to be profoundly colour-conscious and outspoken on the issues of racism, white privilege and profound racial inequality.
As you can see, white people don’t need the racist laws of apartheid or the chains of slavery to build on and maintain white supremacy, white privilege and profound racial inequality. Clearly, the struggle against white supremacy must re-commence.
If we were to use lie detectors and other scientific equipment to detect racism, I think all white people (both “liberal” English whites, and conservative Afrikaans whites – they’re all conservative) would be found guilty of racism against blacks, and black people would be found guilty of racism against OURSELVES, and in FAVOUR of white.
I think the “liberal” racists are more detrimental to the pursuit of racial equality and justice because they are more numerous, harder to detect and their impact on the lives of people of colour is usually more devastating than a k-word coming from a “hardcore”, conservative, Afrikaans racist.
The covert racism of the mainstream “left” is what causes and maintains racial inequality in western societies.
1) What percentage of the white population do you believe is racist against non-whites?
2) What percentage of the white population do you believe is racist against whites?
3) What percentage of the non-white population do you believe is racist against non -whites?
4) What percentage of the non-white population do you believe is racist against white people?
I’m asking about what you BELIEVE, not what you know.
PLEASE answer questions 1-4.