Every important thing has been said particularly by Tsholofelo Mpuru! You nailed it girl. I don’t even know why I am writing but Brett asked and I said yes.
This is my pet hate. A lot of white people may not be guilty of this. I hope.
I mentioned to a Zimbabwean friend of mine this month just how much I absolutely detest being asked whether I am Zimbabwean by a white South African or former ‘Rhodesian’ who meets me for the first time. It is often the second sentence after a greeting.
I look nothing like a Zimbabwean even on my best or worst day. I know that there are tons of Zimbabweans in South Africa but come on! This has only happened in Cape Town though often in an all white environment. It will often be one odd white person who meets you for the first time who will ask that silly question. It does not happen all the time but it happens. It often makes me mad because for crying out loud I am in South Africa. I have never set foot in Zimbabwe even if I had this is South Africa, a land full of many different kinds of blacks who actually belong here. I suppose it is hard to believe that if you are a white Capetonian.
My Zimbabwean friends will confirm that I am not xenophobic. The issue at hand is that even where I live in East London I was speaking to an Afrikaans white friend who was telling me about her domestic help. One of her friends has only employed Zimbabweans in her business, and she was telling me about how a certain Zimbabwean fixed washing machines and sends them to Zimbabwe. She was very impressed by how industrious he was. She said it with a tone that said: “not like these blacks.” Only that she did say it, she said; “you know Zimbabweans are different, they are not like these people here.” While she was elevating Zimbabweans as the better blacks she finished her sentence and remembered that I was black. I was boiling but what constructive words can come out of a furious person. I was furious not because of just her but of the general white South African attitude which in my books fuels xenophobia with these negative attitudes and perceptions towards local black South Africans.
The first time I ever came across this was a decade ago. Another Zimbabwean friend of mine was telling us of the despicable racism they experienced as a group of blacks by a white South African couple. She also said that the white racist couple treated them better than the black South Africans because they were told that they were the ‘better blacks’. Imagine that.
Needless to say, in Cape Town I have encountered many whites who have echoed this debasement of South African blacks as they elevate the non-South African black as the better black who must be protected from these hostile black South Africans. What I have also learnt is that some of the non-South African blacks hectically disapprove of the same white people. In fact a Malawian thought a Mugabe style of leadership was what we needed to get rid of the very white people that love them. I was shocked because I knew that the white people bent over backwards to protect the poor Malawians from these terrible black South Africans.
I have heard the same thing from South African whites who have been to America. I have heard complaints at times that the African Americans are not like us. Can we get a break?
What is this, a search for the most acceptable black? Why can’t a black person be accepted period?
Granted that human beings are slaves of comparison regardless of race, however other times it is more insensitive and hurtful than other times. In this case it is very destructive. I do wish that more people were sensitive to this.
The point is that if we are going to live together in unity in this country something has got to give. There is a reason that the black people in this country are the way they are. Some of it has to do with our difficult history. God placed us here. I know that is hard to believe but He thought this is exactly where He wants to place us. I understand that our past is quite involved and difficult but we actually do need to face one another and not wish for another breed of people that are more acceptable to you or me. This is it. Look close. We are not that bad in fact we are actually very beautiful people. The moment we connect with each other’s beauty we will not be able to see where one ends or the other begins. We have a great future as a rainbow nation but the walls of hostility and demonising one another must go away so that we can unite as one people.
You can read more of what Siki has to say by taking a look at her blog – madamemadiba.wordpress.com
[For the next amazing post in this series by Tshego Motiang, click here]
Irresistibly Fish 
Hmmm… *That is meant to indicate a deep sigh with a “I can’t help it shrug”*. I am black. I am South African on paper (citizenship), but I am congolese by birth.(Note how I hang on to my congolese/”other” identity).
I hear what you are saying, but honestly I have to say I also perceive black South Africans very differently from “other black people”. Am I sorry for doing this? Am I realising that I shouldn’t do this? No. As frustrating as it is for the people on the receiving end (the black south africans) I can’t say these perceptions are completely unfounded by those holding them (the rest of the blacks,ie:me ). This isn’t a case of xenophobia or intolerance, its simply that in my experience “other blacks” are indeed very different to black South Africans and this difference is not necessarily in a good way. On various occasions when I walk down a street alone and there are a group of guys approaching, I silently pray to God that they be foreigners because at least then I am sure I am safe compared to if they are SAfricans… Judgmental?yes. Politically incorrect?yes. Irrational? No.
Throughout my life I have only ever been surrounded by SAfricans, my best friend is a xhosa from Limpopo. I consider her,her family and very few others the exception to the rule. I say this to show that for me these beliefs of the “black SAfrican” vs other blacks is not based on some myth, but rather based on what I have experienced in my day to day life being surrounded completely by “black SAfricans” and “other blacks.
hey Rachel, thank you for sharing and it is important for us in this conversation to realise that each person brings their own story and it sounds like you definitely carry some pain in yours that has helped bring you to those opinions/generalisations and it is those exceptions in our lives who hopefully help us to realise that not everyone is ‘like that’ and help us work past the generalisations and judgements and hopefully see people as individuals.
it definitely feels like you have a story and so if you would be up to sharing something on this area, please email me at brettfish@hotmail.com and let’s chat! thankx again
brett fish
I just discovered this site and I’m loving it! I know that I am replying to an old post, but I really wanted to reply to this comment.
I like, Rachel, am a citizen of South Africa, but find my roots placed firmly in another country, namely Uganda. I grew up in South Africa, got my education here, my friend’s are here and most of my cultural identity is based on growing up in South Africa. But even so, I was raised by non-South African parents, and thus grew up thinking sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously that my people were “better”, more gracious, and humble, “good” black people. That we were “real” Africans with true African experience. And I often struggled aligning my identity as “real” African and a South African. I still joke with my thoroughbred South African friend, that this is not “real” Africa. But I am slowly learning this is wrong. This creates and us vs them mentality. I think this mentality stems partly from a kind of internalized racism many black people fall into. Often we need to separate ourselves from the caricature of being black. We need to speak better, know more, dress differently, straighten our hair, and exalt those who are achieving such heights. I won’t deny I have had the same misconceptions of the “bad” South African black men, whilst simultaneously lifting up people back home as the pinnacle of good behaviour, but that’s simply not true. I know from experience that you could place those same people back home in this environment and they eventually adapt to the behaviour. This is not true for everyone though, as it isn’t true that every black man in South Africa is bad. I think in part we all need to be in constant vigilance of our thoughts and where they stem from, do you think so-and-so is trustworthy because they have a history of being trustworthy,or is it because they are from fill-in-the-blank background. Please note I am not talking on behalf of all immigrants, we are not all in this country for the same reason and we do not all have the same background. I am sorry if anyone takes offence at my post.
Reblogged this on MadameMadiba and commented:
Confronting race taboos in South Africa. I pray to God that we will look at one another without forms discrimination. I am an impossible optimist.
As a black Zimbabwean having studied in South Africa and abroad and come back home to Zimbabwe, I must say it wasn’t easy reading this. I love South Africa and South Africans and how real the politics is in your beautiful country – not the fake politeness (for lack of a better way to put it) we have here. I hear you and it is so good to be able to talk openly about these things without judgment. I just wanted to add the perspective of a black Zimbabwean maybe. First of all when we come to your country we are in survival mode, we need that job so we work hard, we need that degree so we study hard, we do put in the work. And yes, sometimes we get credit for it and there are other times we don’t. I am not saying South Africans don’t work hard – I am just saying that it is not about trying to out-perform South Africans, it is about earning a living – surviving. Economic refugees are human beings trying to make a better life for themselves, it is our natural human survival instinct. Everyone world wide will do it if they find themselves cornered – my own family is orginally South African having moved to Zimbabwe as refugees in the 70’s – fancy that. I know we are sometimes obnoxious, I personally used to get annoyed by my countrymen behaving badly in your country. However, I just want to make clear that the Zimbabwean struggle is also real, it might be different from that of a black South African but it is not more difficult or less difficult – just different. We experience racism too. We had our own Apartheid, I sometimes feel South Africans forget that other countries experienced what became coined Apartheid too. It is not easy to work and live in South Africa as a Zimbabwean, having a Zimbabwean passport is a whole special kettle of fish, walking around with the shame associated with a failed dictatorship isn’t easy, you are labelled and automatically hated by people you don’t even know. And sometimes/often held personally accountable for the actions of politicians you’ve never met or for not “doing something about it”. So all I am trying to say is, we Zimbabweans are not out to make black South Africans’ lives difficult, we are just trying to live and to take care of our families.
What bit me in your piece was when you say you don’t “look” Zimbabwean, as if there is something wrong with looking Zimbabwean. What does it mean to “look Zimbabwean”? This is how xenophobia starts, this is how words like “makwerekwere” get born. I am often confused for a South African by black South Africans based on my features, I’ve never taken offence to this, but it is not as if I aspire to look unZimbabwean. It is something that just happens. The next part that bit was your reference to the blacks that “belong here” – using that same description therefore I would say the whites you’re offended by don’t “belong there” either, and yet it seems to matter to you who belongs where. Does it? Should it? If you were to break into civil war in South Africa tomorrow and your family had to flee to Namibia and someone told you you didn’t “belong there”, how would you feel? These subconscious forms of “othering”, the same that offend you in the attitudes of white South Africans towards black South Africans are the same forms of “othering” black South Africans often unknowingly or knowingly inflict on black Zimbabweans/Malawians/Nigerians etc.
It was really great to read your piece though and thank you for sharing. And yes, rainbows are rather pretty aren’t they =)
Felicity, thank you so much for sharing – if you would be up to letting me post that as a separate piece on the race thing i think you bring a valuable perspective to the conversation. And thank you so much for sharing – i hear some deep pain but also perhaps struggle for identity as former South African family and now former Zimbabwean in South Africa – that sounds very complicated… i would love to run this as a separate post so more people can see it – please email me at brettfish@hotmail.com if that sounds like something you could do…or want to.