blogging

blog in

be the log in

be the log in your own eye

dictating what you write

and who and how and why you want to impress those looking in

who are these audients you seem to seek so hard to impress?

 

and cajole and coax

into liking and retweeting

posting and sharing

and gushing over all your stuff?

who are all these spectators?

 

speck takers?

who you care about so highly as to write so closely between the lines of what they are wanting  to read?

to the exclusion of what you know you should be writing?

or would know you should be writing

were you giving more attention to the still small voice.

or any attention at all, really.

but no, there is no time

you. are. on. the. move. (really! i’m certainly not lion here)

 

checking on site stats,

on page hits,

on follows, on retweets,

on comments, on Comet,

“On Cupid, On Donner, On Blitzen… Did I leave anyone out?”

do you leave anyone out?

 

have you made your list and checked it twice?

the liberals, the feminists, the Anabaptists, the gays?

the pre-reformed post-apocalyptic millennial calvinist pentecostal

resaved revirgined unconfirmed church-of-the-toxic-writhing-defanged-serpent brethren?

thou. shalt. not. offend. anyone.

 

except God.

 

oh, you can offend Him alright.

But He is thick-skinned, so don’t worry about Him

He’ll get over it quickly

He is, after all, all about Love, right?

He is, after all, about inclusion?

He is after all. Right?

 

and so it kinda makes sense that you are as well…

 

after all, the attention

after all, the followers

after all, the applause

after all.

 

but the word must get out

the word will get out

this word will not return void

this Word will not return void

the Word and the words will be spoken

if not by you, then by someone else

someone who is not all concerned about those who are watching

who are listening in

who are waiting for a word to be written out of line

out of the lines

that they have drawn

someone who will speak the words that need to be spoken

no matter what the consequence might be to themself

no matter what backlash might present itself

or be thrown mercilessly at them

or hungrily devoured and spewed out again by some comment-heavy troll

someone who will not simply speak the words that the itching ears of the crowds want to hear

that make them feel good, or fall neatly within their confines of what is allowed

of what they allow

someone who will do that which needs to be done

because it needs to be done

needs to be said or written or pronounced

and if that person does not exist

if that person needing to say that thing that needs to be said

share that thought that needs to be passed on

or pronounce that politically incorrect notion of a handed down Truth

if they do not raise their hand

or step up to the keyboard

or make themselves known

what then?

 

well, if that were to happen

if no-one was to be found who could deliver the message

no one at all

in any place, at any time

then the very words would write themselves

the very Word would write, Himself

this Word will not return void

this Word will.

it’s not going to be stopped!

 

so really the question just becomes to you

what will you do?

who will you be?

who will you be for?

and to what extent will you change any of that for those who don’t really matter

really

and just start writing for you

and from you

and for Him

and that’s all.

 

as i stand so close to the flames

that the tiny hairs on my arms start to catch alight

filling my nostrils with that pungent, burning hair smell

i catch the silhouette of my reflected outline

quietly nodding my silent assent

to those who by their righteous actions tonight

have ensured that this clinic’s business

for the immediate future at least

has been violently aborted

 

as i stand to the far edge of the back of this lively and passionate crowd

i am caught up by the exuberance with which our leaders

are delivering today’s heartfelt message of righteous anger and God’s judgment

on those who would exchange normal relations

for these abominations

not quite confident that God does indeed hate fags as has been so eloquently declared

through the intimacy of a well-intended loud speaker

or the letters lovingly painted onto an otherwise pure white poster

i at least choose to hold my focus

on all those who will be set free

as a result of us gaily presenting our well-crafted sermon

as we came out here today

Lovingly Gesturing Biblical Truths

 

back at home i spend some time online

catching up on the news

all the time dodging the vitriolic and caustic comments

of fellow christian brothers and sisters

resolutely aligning themselves with either camp

and how could you possibly hold THAT opinion

if you have given any attention at all to THIS specific verse?

(“You fool!”… understood.)

 

another moment, yet another person caught in a crime

this time i bend down to pick up my stone

but am stopped in my tracks

by the sound of his voice

speaking these words

so lovingly

‘let the person who is without sin throw the first stone.’

 

and i pause for just a minute

 

as i think it over to myself…

a ticking watch nervously counts down this moment of interruption

my heavy breathing bears testimony to the wrestling that’s going on within my head

as i roll his words around in my mind, this way and that way, looking for the answer

but then suddenly it comes to me in a flash

as i remember that he has already paid for my sin

when he died on the cross

he took all my guilt and shame

and the sin penalty that should have been mine to pay

and he paid for it in my place

and so that makes me sin-free, right?

 

that makes me the one able to throw the first stone…

just like he said.

 

my hand finds a suitably jagged edged piece of stone

closes tightly around it

i can feel its rough edges digging into my skin

i stand to my feet in a single motion

powered up by all the holy righteous anger i can muster

and with every muscle in my body giving assent to my actions

i hurl that stone with all my might and watch as it hits its target

watch as you slump quickly to the ground

 

and, as if the dam wall has been burst

i watch as my just action unleashes the rest of the frenzied crowd

some who had already started to let their personalised rocks fall to the ground

 

again and again the rocks smash against their intended victim

your cries have long since passed

blood and bits of skin and bone fly hideously around

and within moments you are no longer a person

but a grotesque mass of broken body and blood

 

broken body

and blood?

 

as if in a pitch black tunnel just noticing a faint hint of a light up ahead

something starts to swirl within my mind

a recollection, a mass of thoughts, something is trying to be heard

and i try to focus in on what is being said, as my stomach fights against gagging from the smell that is rising up from your body

your dead body

broken by me… broken for me?

no, broken by me.

 

i glance up.

struggling to see clearly with these beams of wood protruding from each one of my eyes

i manage to finally catch a glimpse of him

his face displaying so obviously that this is not the way he was hoping it would end

as if something has gone wrong

gone horribly wrong

but what is it? i did what you said. i did what you have to have wanted. right?

 

and there it is

off to the side, faint and very much in the distance

but there is no mistaking the call of the farm bird sounding the beginning of a new day

or is it the end of one?

nope, there it is again.

and one more time.

 

i realise that the first crow has labelled me a resounding gong, a clanging cymbal

the second told me i am nothing

the third plays out that i have gained nothing

all three signifying that i have failed in this,

in this, my virtuous enacting of your justice

and if that is true, if i have failed in this

that surely means that no part of this was truly Love

 

what is the first commandment? obey the rules

what is the most important? don’t step outside of the lines

what is the gospel? don’t do this long and complicated list of things

GODHATESFAGSGODHATESPEOPLEWHOHAVEABORTIONSGODHATESTERRORISTSGODHATES

wait, what?

 

 

 

 

i stand close to the flames

trying to massage some warmth back into my hands

no-one needs to come up to me and ask if i know Him?

i know my actions have already answered that one

and as i catch my reflection in a nearby piece of glass

i notice the flames, licking at my feet.

 

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