Tag Archive: wedding

my good friend patrick of cordery sent me a link to the preach at the wedding of william and kate yesterday which i sadly missed due to not wanting to watch it… but i’m really glad he did cos the words of this are phenomenal and really worth checking out or going and taking a read through again in case you were watching but a bit too caught up by lady gaga’s hat…

this is how it began:

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.”

and that is a flippin incredible introduction to marriage…

this was in the middle:

“William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ. And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.”

and this is the prayer that ended it:

“God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage. In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy. Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.”

so click here if you want to read the words or else you could click here, but i can guarantee you really don’t want to be clicking here so seriously, don’t do it, i warned you.

this is the part that highlights for me the exciting worthy-of-celebration parts of everything that made up yesterday – that there was a marriage union between two people who love each other and may all those who were obsessed with the day for everything it did for themselves, continue to be as interested in praying for and cheerleading this couple in their marriage and hoping for the absolute best for both of them.

what is with people and ‘the next big thing?’ – you’ve been single forever and you finally get yourself a girlfriend and within a month or two (especially if you’re older) people are like, “so, when’s the big day?”

you get married and within a month or two (way before the plans settle on any kind of one year wedding anniversary preparation) it’s the knowing smirks and, “so, kids hey?”

and so on, and those are just two examples… too many people spend too much time in the future (shtupidt time travellers, but besides them!) when actually all we are trying to do is enjoy the life-to-the-fullness of the now…

i know people are going to be tempted to respond with something along the lines of how interested in you people are just trying to be and i would imagine that is the case sometimes, but more often than not it is people panic’ing and filling space kind of like a “how are you?” “I’m fine” when no-one is ever fine… you’re good, you’re bad, you’re ugly, there is no fine… you say it cos you panic, the question was asked because someone in a shopping centre bumped into someone else in a shopping centre they weren’t expecting to see and panic’d…

anyways my point being, for someone who is in a relationship where they are really struggling about whether to continue the relationship or not (cos of issues unseen to the casual observer) an innocent-intentioned question like “so when are you getting married?” is a piece of bamboo shoot (the thin sharp piece) under the fingernail… for a couple who has maybe just miscarried or who can’t have children or who – heaven forbid – don’t particularly want to have children (or maybe not want to have them now) the “when are you having kids?” question can be a highly insensitive question that adds to the frustration, pain, desperation, annoyance, whatever…

ha ha, if you follow me and tbV’s statuses on facebook you can guess which of these connect personally, but i’m trying to think bigger than us… one of the things i have enjoyed from i think possibly the last 4 weddings i’ve been to was the absence of the “throw stuff at single people herded into the centre” tradition – and i know some people dig it and good for them but i particularly don’t and that’s okay – and in each case the marriaged couple had an alternative – like giving the bouquet to the longest married couple in the room [which i completely dig!] which was rad… for a lot of single people who don’t particularly like being single [some do and i applaud that – contentment in all situations is the key] it is not cool for the focus to be put on them and their singleness…

and so the point of this blog is can we please just enjoy this big thing first? why rush the future? it’s gonna happen, and when it does we will want to celebrate that and not be rushing ahead to what the next further thing is.

i realise this is actually a huge, huge topic, because to really be able to enjoy this big thing, we also need to be able to let go of yesterday’s painful thing, but that’s another blog. live to the full today and celebrate life with me, us, now!

if you liked this check out part ii: can’t i not just start enjoying this big thing now [on looking backwards]

so at the bottom of the blackberry skit i saw the link to this video and it was funnier than i imagined – how is that laugh?

check it out here

so i recently was on an orange river trip with a bunch of youth okes linked to a southern suburbs church youth group…

two of the guys on the trip wore t-shirts (which i addressed with them both – one directly and one a little more indirectly cos i couldn’t remember who had been wearing it) which distressed me a lot

[1] cartoon picture made up of two blocks – in the first block a guy and a girl figure [similiar to toilet man and woman stick figures] standing next to each other – in the second block dude has shoved his arm out and girl is falling through the bottom of the block – caption reads “PROBLEM SOLVED”

[2] second was a block with a cartoon groom and a bride, similiar stick figure vibe to first pic – bride is holding bouquet and smiling, groom has big sad face – caption reads “GAME OVER”

both of them saddened me in terms of the message they were delivering and in terms of the fact that young guys would choose to wear them [the ‘problem solved’ guy told me that he had been given the t-shirt by a bunch of his girl friends which made me maybe even a little more horrified]

are they funny? yes, i guess so, clever word play, well done

but they are horrible, horrible, horrible, especially the ‘game over’ one

the statistics for divorce are something like 1 in 3 marriages or maybe even closer to 1 in 2 these days – and they are largely the same in so-called christian and non-christian marriages – how much of this is due to the fact that marriage has largely become a joke, or at the very least a joked about thing

when i marry people [two down, one to go next weekend] i marry them with my shoes off, linking back to the moses story and the fact that he was standng on holy ground, because i truly believe that is how God views marriage – it is a holy and special and spiritual and sacred thing – when we return to that point of view, we will have a starting point towards having healthy marriages which – altho not necessarily easy, because marriage is not always easy, it requires work and effort and sacrifice and humility and service and surrender on a continual daily basis – can and do work and will be an effective role model in a world where relationships have largely become a selfish endeavour, reduced to a me-me-me-me enactment, or a joke on a t-shirt…

so this past weekend and a bit myself and tbV were hanging at the house of dreadlock mike who got married to nancy the twin on saturday in an incredible ceremony and all and we had the most amazing time chilling at his folks house with richard and anita and little matt who is not so little

in fact, matt is one of the biggest little guys i have ever met – kind of like a non-famous boy version of dakota fanning – just been raised so incredibly well and such an amazing young dude – and it was an absolute blast hanging with him and having fun – i think he is 8 years old and he plays a mean piano – i taught him a duet while we stayed there (teaching him the second part just last nite) and on the way to his dad driving us to the airport we get a phone call and matt and his mom (who he taught since us leaving the house that morning) played us the duet over the phone which was on speaker – a priceless moment indeed

in fact sat nite when the wedding reception was winding down i grabbed matt outside who had refused to come and be cool and dance with me earlier and carried him inside and did one man two man tango with him across the dance floor and then swung him round in the air and we got much applause and crowd appreciation from those still around – lesser mortals would have been well embarrassed i think but matt just vibed

so cheers little guy, thankx for letting us move to your room (not sure how much choice was involved but you didn’t come and shave our heads while we were sleeping) when our room was causing killer hayfever vibes and for hanging and pianoing and car-racing and just being a complete vibe – you are going to grow up to be a huge (in heart, spirit and achievement) guy just like your big dreadlocked brother who i really dig…

well i could blog five hundred posts and i could blog five hundred more, just to be the man who blogged a thousand posts… something something dreadlock mike…

but i won’t, cos who would read them. in fact this is a me post so it doesn’t really matter but suffice it to say yesterday’s wedding between michael richard strauss and nancy leigh enslin at the secret garden resort in kzn was incredible.

really triply amped i got to fly up two days early and hang with dreadlock mike who is one of my favourite people in the world and we had some good fun times – from the doo-do doo-do doo-do do-do doooo of plants vz zombies that he greeted me with huge skepticism with but then got thoroughly addicted to (cue one 2am morning of play and me making sure he didn’t touch it pre-wedding nite so he’d write his speech and vows and sleep before the big day) to cucumber moments to coffee to chatting, we vibed completely and it was rad – and i continue to ask God to let us (me, tbV, nancy and dm) find an opportunity to be in the same region, ministering and living alongside each other at least for a season

then i got the double priviledge of doing the wedding ceremony (the preach and all other non-legal entities – their pastor hilton greig from harvest was brilliant slipping in and out with the legal stuff with complete flow and vibe) and master of ceremonyising the reception (cos the guy they asked couldn’t or didn’t want to and i was first sub or something – ha!) and on the one hand it was a complete vibe but it also meant i felt quite responsible for all things wedding most of the day

got to preach barefoot and relate it to moses and the burning bush and holy ground and how marriage is holy ground cos God views it as an important and incredible thing and how we (world and church) have tragically undermined it a lot of the time or viewed/treated it as a lot less than that…

second point was Joshua’s choose this day who you will serve but relating it to the new testament picture of marriage which is each person lifting up the other one and considering thier needs above yours – chief killer of marriage is selfishness while on the other hand if you can nurture selflessness you will have the foundations for a solid long-lasting marriage

third point was adam and eve in the garden – being naked in front of each other and feeling no shame – with the point being about vulnerability and intimacy – the closer you want to get to someone the more potential you have to give that person to hurt you – but that same potential allows them to love you solidly – to fully appreciate the beauty of the rose you have to risk the sharpness of the thorns – there are going to be tough and painful times in marriage but the intimacy and closeness achieved by allowing those to happen (and be resolved) is more than worth it

and then finished with a charge or challenge to the church that we are involved in their marriage – not in terms of overstepping boundaries or playing them against each other or anything like that – but in terms of prayer and accountability and friendship and finance and whatever else, we are standing up to the plate and putting our hands up and saying we will fight for this marriage alongside mike and nancy or a little bit off in the background but there if and when they need us – got everyone who said yes to the commitment to stand and we prayed for them

then the mc’ing of the reception went well – brief interludes for the tie joke and some private jokes aimed at mike and his family, largely involving cucumbers and theme tunes to plants vs zombies and just generally keeping things moving smoothly – and then totally taken down and taught a comedy lesson by his friend Phil in his Biff persona who was absolutely brilliant – and so amazing food, beautiful hot looking wife lady (always beautiful but when she straightens her hair and brings it – wow! stunning!), fun dancing vibes and a complete vibe which they couple completely enjoyed (and mike playing and singing the song he had written for nancy which was exquisite and heartfelt)

and as we were driven home by parents ‘o mike (a stunning stunning couple we have had so much fun staying with) with dj andrew in the back seat we were treated to an owl with a chicken (looked like a whole hen, was huge) swooping right across in front of the car in what seemed like slow motion – it was breathtaking…

here’s to the new Strausses and thankx so much for letting us be a part of your special day – love you guys immensely and look forward to being alongside each other sometime and doo-doo do-do doo-do…or as crazy dave would say “shraggle blurghy thruggharrgh shglarhy thslarrrrrrrrr”

or marrying the dreaded?

i am leaving in an hour or so for the airport to head for durban where on sat i will be marrying dreadlocked mike and nancy the twin (just in case there is any confusion about the nicknames i have given these two, mike has dreads and nancy is a twin… smooth.)

and i am so super amped – i have written my marriage licence test but i have yet to get the results and so i am not allowed to do the legal stuff for this wedding [which i am uber happy about cos imagine screwing that up – “hi guys, so by the way, you aren’t really married, i used a blue pen and not a black one, oops”] and this is my second time preaching at a wedding (with another one coming later this year for kleinbigfrans and michelleofprettynormalsize)

my first wedding was a young afrikaans couple who were fairly new to our church and asked me if i would do the preach and the first words out of my mouth were ‘can i preach barefoot’ [i preach at our sun evening enGAGE service barefoot normally and it was more of a joke than a serious question cos it was an afrikaans wedding and all and so i knew there was no way that] and they said yes and i couldn’t believe it, but decided to anyways and worked it into my preach (and they have been commenting very flattering stuff on my facebook statuses this week so i take it it all went pretty well)

and so when dreadlocked mike and nancy the drama student (and twin!) asked me i knew it was just a formality to ask whether i could preach barefoot and so when mike said “no” i was a little perturbed (cos after my first wedding i was ‘right, that’s going to be my thing, i will always preach barefoot at weddings!’) and surprised but they’re my friends and it’s their wedding and preaching with shoes on at their wedding was a thousand times more favourable than being barefoot in cape town while their wedding took place

mike phoned me the other nite to say they’d been discussing things and part of the vibe was they wanted to be them and they wanted me to be me and so i should preach barefoot and when i semi objected cos i really wanted nancy to be happy and have the wedding she always wanted mike almost commanded me to go commando, um i mean barefoot (that’s different hey? commando in the foot department? better.) and so i just might [but if not i will definitely be wearing my marvin the martian cartoon shoes with my black suit]

but the main point is i am so much looking forward to this wedding (yes, the title was just to hook you in to read it and look, here you are) and more importantly this marriage because of everything that it means – because mike and nancy are two of my favourite people in the world and i am really hoping a couple that we will be connected with for a decent period at some point in our lives and i am hoping for soon – and because marriage between the right people (and i really think these two are the right people) is incredible

what an opportunity to celebrate with two friends the start (or continuation) of a most amazing journey and to stand up with a group of friends and family and say “we have you on this. we have your backs. rely on us. use us. call on us. cry on our shoulders. borrow from us. invite us over” because as amazing as marriage is, it is not easy – well, sometimes, a lot of the time in fact, it really is, but you have two people each with their own crap and sin and issues and attitudes and morning or late evening personas and now they are sharing a space together always – and it is important to have a community of people who love you and will commit themselves to speak into the marriage, to leave space for it to grow, to ride shotgun for it when times are rough, to fight for it when those inside are feeling weak and tired or stressed out, to celebrate it regularly, and to draw strength from it…

here’s to mike and nancy and the start of a beautiful marriagetionship…

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