Weekly Photo Challenge: (Kiss)

with the theme of ‘Kiss’ there are certainly a lot of different interpretations i could have given to this week’s challenge, but the one that i have to share so obviously rises above all of those and that is a kiss between my wife Valerie [aka tbV – the beautiful Val] and myself on my wedding day… but as i searched for the picture i was wanting to use, namely this one which for me symbolises the start of a new journey of ongoing Love and affection:

i couldn’t help but choose to include this one as such a powerful image captured by a combination of sweet accident and the alertness of a talented photographer absolutely ready for anything that presented itself:

this one for me speaks of the kind of fairy-tale imagining you figure must be going on in the mind of the silent observer with a sense of ‘that might be me some day’ and so hope, Love and the greatest of expectation…

[For the previous Photo Challenge on the theme of ‘Unique’ click here]

when your computer starts speaking [horrifically] on your behalf…

so yesterday morning i come downstairs and i log into Facebook and am busy catching up on the nights mail when suddenly a word in another mail in my inbox catches my attention… it’s a mail from my wife, the beautiful Val [tbv] with some bank details regarding flight money and my comment below it says, ‘bitch, i want all the money’

[cue me confused] so i start trying to work out what word i was going for cos i have clearly mistyped when suddenly, in the inbox to my left a new mail rises to the top of the pile, addressed to my former UK housemate from the Simply Way with brett fish anderson [that’s me] writing “Fuck you”

[confusement changing to panic as i realise i’m being hacked but all this live and while i am in my account] so i quickly scramble towards the password changing settings menu and as i do i get a notification and it is one of my old friends who i have not been in any contact with for a long time and he is saying ‘now why would i do that?’ so i click on it and on his status which was something along the lines of ‘Have a great week everyone’, brett fish anderson has commented ‘i hope you die.’

[password changed and hoping that is it – ticked the option to ‘log me out of all devices i am currently logged into’ – nice touch Zuckers – and waiting to see if the surreal movie-type experience has finished… my buddy Dunc, who i am staying with, walks downstairs so i share the story with him and he tells me to check my activity log – good job Zuckers – and so i do – just three other people fortunately – old church friend, old cape town friend and my boss’ wife all with the eloquent ‘F___ you’ scrawled upon their page [by brett fish anderson of course] and so managed to delete them]

by this time i have an email from a friend from The Simple Way suggesting i might have been hacked and copying the mail from my boss’ wife to me which i have just deleted…

so crisis largely averted – i think one downfall of the hacker was being over the top in terms of using language no one would have suspected i would actually use in that way – but it was a little freaky as it started to happen in front of my eyes [maybe better that way rather than arriving to 200 sent out messages i guess] and felt a little bit like being trapped in a movie…

i have seen a lot of hack attempts and been the victim on occasion, but that was definitely the most malicious one i have personally encountered. feels a little bit violationary…

and is it boss’ wife or bosses wife?

the invitation

so the next step in the brett fish & the beautiful Val next americaland journey has taken place… after three great official times [as well as many unofficial times comprising many drinks of coffee, milkshake and tea or variants thereof] of sitting down with people we love [and vice versa] and talking through some of what Relational Tithe/Common Change is about we put together an invitation email to gather a group of friends and family who want to be some part of our journey – from simply receiving our newsletter to committing to keep us in regular prayer to offering financial support through either a once off donation or else to be part of the roughly $1000 we need for monthly living costs for the eighteen months we have committed to being there [starting March]

we had an incredible gift from a friend which has enabled us to purchase the air tickets – where we are on that is trying to get Val’s in the next 24 hours so that she can leave on the 18th and make it to the Justice Conference that is happening in Philadelphia which looks to be incredible – and then she will stay in Philly for a few days, doing some scholarship stuff she is still working on for the Simple Way and then fly to Oakland, California and look into finding us a place to stay and starting to settle in it…

i will be holding off on buying my ticket til about ten days later and then we will assess the support we have had come in and, if close enough to what we are looking at needing, will buy my ticket and leave to get there around the beginning of March, flying straight to Oakland, California where we will be living and working.

we sent the email to those who have expressed interest and attended the meetings but if you are interested in receiving the initial one and deciding if you want to be in one of those areas of support of us then please email me at brettfish@hotmail.com and i can send it to you.

where we currently stand is close to 20% of the needed support and so a bit of a way to go but excited by the people who are showing interest and support in a variety of ways. we have been completely spoilt by so many people in terms of place to stay [Duncan and Megan Houston] and car [Duffields] and many meals and drinks and even tickets to the cricket [Muscle of John] and so incredibly thankful for the communities and networks we are part of. and for everyone we have got to connect with and catch up with… there are a lot of pretty amazing people in and around our lives and we appreciate you so much.

onwards and kingdomwards…

“Weekly Photo Challenge: (Love)

with the theme of Love, the first thing that springs to mind has to be God and the beautiful Val… and so the most natural pics to choose would be linked to both, so out of the thousands i chose these two from our wedding, the time of us celebrating and officialising our Love before God and friends… the first one i would title ‘catching the first glimpse’ as this was the moment that tbV walked into the chapel in all her stunningness and beauty and you can see this guy was captured…

then secondly there is a picture of us just enjoying the moment – another love, the mutual appreciation we have for the colour purple, is clearly displayed in this pic and just a sense of taking a moment in a life-transforming ceremony of significance to let the moment really sink in…

and finally one of the happy and muchly in Love couple as we set out on what has so far been a three and a half year journey of life, Love, challenges, commitment and adventure… this is my girl whom i much Love…

 

[For the previous Photo Challenge on the theme of ‘Illumination’ click here]

the simple away

Wow! 19 months flew by, just like… well 570 days, really.

June last year, after about four months of weekly Skype calls with our present and to be future bossman Darin Petersen, the beautiful Val [tbV] and i arrived in Kensington, Philadelphia, Americaland to live and work at the Simple Way non-profit as part of the first batch of an internship program [which was later upgraded to a residency program when they saw our skills, or something]…

[a fun fact is that i was born and raised in an area called Kensington in Johannesburg, South Africa, the country and so in one sense it was a return to my roots but not really]

We joined Erica [aka Amy Winehouse meets activism], Aaron Condo…n [aka Monkman, master, my lord] and Beth [aka Beth or the Doodler, or quite possible milkwoman, altho we never called her that] who was doing a shorter three month internship and we became known as ‘The Village People’ [the house we stayed in was called the Village House, we did the YMCA a lot less than you would probably imagine]. The first internationals to be invited to be part of the program, so quite a bit of a risk really. Shane Claiborne and his new bride Katie Jo lived a few houses down the road, Darin and his wife Meeghan and their kids Just Ice [as i called him, because i wanted to give him a little space] and Madix… and then a handful more people who lived in other places but worked with us in the office… and later Sueihn Lee and Dan Brearley were added as Erica, Aaron and Beth [twice] moved on…

This is the passage that indirectly got me there, that i had been wrestling with when i chanced upon Shane’s book, ‘The Irresistible Revolution’ 6 years before, which resonated with a lot of my struggles with how church looked like now compared to then – ‘They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.’

and tonite we fly out… season over… back to South Africa to hang out with friends and family and watch some live cricket dressed as a Hobbit and hopefully get some hockeying and improv in and meet my new nephew Joshua and get to see if i was telling lies about South Africa mayonnaise for the last 19 months and have some braais and my mom’s secret birthday dessert she makes for me once a year and possibly pool party and hopefully get my dreads touched up and get some rest and relaxation and reflection and more…

before a new season begins. which will be with the same boss, different no-profit [Relational Tithe, or as it is about to be more commonly known Common Change] but the absolute same task of following Jesus [or trying to] and seeking to be a part of His kingdom growing here as it is in heaven.

and so the big question i guess, as we enter one of those reflectful times of both the end of a life season and the end of a calendar year [sorry Mayans, the Romans were right!] is how was the time? Good, bad or ugly? A combination of all, perhaps? Was the way simple?

i guess you will have to take me out for coffee [or a rack of Spur Ribs with extra basting] when we get home and you can ask that in person…

i can tell you it wasn’t easy. well, not all the time, some parts were really easy. Val and i love Kensington. we absolutely love Philly. we love so many of the people we got to meet and hang out and do life with.

i can tell you we would definitely make the same decision to do it all again – good, bad and ugly.

but it is time to go. and so later today i think we will.

i do still very much love Jesus and am hungry to see His kingdom come.

after years and years of loving Him [or trying to] and serving Him [ditto] i have found that His way, although simple in concept, is very rarely simple when you actually try to actively live it out. [fortunately He never leaves you to do it alone…]

so a new year, a new location, a new mission…
but still the continuing overall theme of ‘Love God, Love people… and all the rest is commentary!

“Weekly Photo Challenge: (Surprise)”

i think Freddy Mercury said it best when he sang, “Can anybody find meeeeeeeee, some bunny to love.”

at first glance this may not seem to fully encompass the theme of ‘Surprise’

but what if i told you that your name was the beautiful Val [tbV] and it was around 2 in the morning and you had gone to sleep after a bit of a rough evening and been woken up to this friendly bunny [let’s be honest – somewhat more Donnie Darko than Easter Bunny] with a bit of a written script for you to read followed by an on the knee proposal? [did i mention it was the second proposal? the uber romantic, mountain-edge picnic and champagne and strawberries with chocolate one having gone less successfully a month or so previously]

Surprise? Yes.
Scary. A little
Successful? You betcha. Who can say no to a bunny?

tbV and i are going on for three and a half years of marriage and i can definitely declare that marriage to the right person is good…

[For the previous Photo Challenge with the theme ‘Delicate’ click here]

when my “yes” sounds like a “no!”

i love my wife, the beautiful Val, i really do, and when i love her well, i think i love her really, really well, but when i love her badly, i can REALLY suck at it…

one way i have becoming increasingly more aware of doing this is by giving her a “yes” to a question that she asks or a request she makes for me to do something, that sounds a lot more like an emphatic “No!”

another way of describing it would be “the kicking and screaming yes” cos okay i will do what you want me to do but know that it is interrupting my selfish moment of whatever i was busy doing and that i don’t really want to do it and am quite likely only doing it cos the consequences of not doing it are so much worse…

the Truth is, not even all those statements above are even true all the time. it is usually a request [or even a reminder of something i was already meant to do] that doesn’t affect my selfish universe all that much. and a lot of the times i would love nothing more than to do a thing which helps my wife or shows her love or makes her life that little bit easier [especially if she might be stressed after a hard day] and yet somehow my ‘well intentioned Love-enducing “YES!”‘ comes out sounding like a horrible, ungrateful whiny “NO WAY! PLEASE GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!”

i think there is some pride in there, for sure. and some power. pride and power. and possibly inertia [the preference to continue doing what i am currently doing, no matter how random it might be, as opposed to interrupting it for something else].

the reasons i am blogging about it are at least two: perhaps there are some of you husbandmans out there who will see the same thing in yourselves [maybe even some wifewomens if that is the opposite of husbandmens?] and need to do something about it. and to remind me to do something about it. i find bloggage a form of accountability as old posts get revisited from time to time and i get rechallenged or reminded by what was striking me at the time…

i plan to Love my wife Valerie better by letting my “yes”es sound more emphatically like “YES!”es!

[If you found this helpful, here are some other ideas to help you love your person well]