How to Catch a Python

So by now most of you are familiar with the Hashtag Game i host to provide a bit of light relief and silliment [it’s a word!] in between trying to educate white people on privilege, figure out how to be an ally to my friends of colour and see and become significant transformation in the lives of the poor and more.

Last week 43 941 tweets were produced with the #YouHadMeAt game we played [although Tom Cruise and Rene Zellwegger were surprisingly absent] and this week we are hoping to go one better.

spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spam, wonderful spam… part i]

there is a great monty python skit about spam – you really have to watch it (like here for example) to get the full effect of the singing…

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings wearing horned helmets. Whenever the word “spam” is repeated, they begin singing and/or chanting. A man and his wife enter. The man is played by Eric Idle, the wife is played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the waitress is played by Terry Jones, also in drag.

Man: You sit here, dear.

Wife: All right.

Man: Morning!

Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what’ve you got?

Waitress: Well, there’s egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam…

Waitress: …spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam…

Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

Waitress: …or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Wife: Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress: Well, there’s spam egg sausage and spam, that’s not got much spam in it.

Wife: I don’t want ANY spam!

Man: Why can’t she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife: THAT’S got spam in it!

Man: Hasn’t got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam… (Crescendo through next few lines…)

Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress: Urgghh!

Wife: What do you mean ‘Urgghh’? I don’t like spam!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can’t have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife: I don’t like spam!

Man: Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your spam. I love it. I’m having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam… (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)

Vikings: (Singing elaborately…) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

sanity prevails? koran-burning cancelled

so taken directly from http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-11255366

US pastor Terry Jones cancels Koran burning

The pastor of a small US church who wanted to burn copies of the Koran has cancelled his protest.

Terry Jones said he was calling off the Florida event after the group behind a planned mosque close to Ground Zero in New York agreed to relocate it.

Mr Jones had said the burning would be a stand against terrorism, but his plan was internationally condemned.

President Barack Obama had warned Mr Jones the event would be “a recruitment bonanza” for al-Qaeda.

radical alternative response to koran-burning

so it seems my last post caused some confusion amongst some people and no confusion amongst some other people [group hug] – my beautiful wife suggests it may have been my title saying one thing and the article saying another thing which i can see a little bit – on the one hand the title was meant to be a bit of an attention-grabber but on the other hand the title is a lot of people’s response to the original story (apparently since the story aired, people have been sending korans to the church to burn) and the article was my response to that which is in complete opposition

the bottom line is that i think terry jones and his church are missing the point completely and that burning other religions religious books are not the appropriate Jesus-following response to the terror attacks on 9/11

the radical alternative response i would suggest [or i would suggest we have no alternative to] is love

love, or maybe more correctly, Love, is a radical response to an attack of terror

it is what Jesus taught – “Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” [Matthew 5.39] and “But I tell you, Love your enemies,and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.” [Matthew 5.44-45]

it is what Jesus lived – ‘When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified Him, along with the criminals – one on His right, the other on His left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” [Luke 23.33-34]

Paul went on to teach that Love, among other things, ‘is not easily angered’ and ‘keeps no record of wrongs’ – ‘it does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth’ – ‘it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’ [1 Corinthians 13, selected verses]

as a Christ-follower i have to stand against what that church is attempting to do – i cannot see it displaying God’s love and heart or drawing anyone in – God doesn’t hate muslims and want us to burn their stuff – He loves muslims and wants to be in loving relationship with them…

you burning Qur’ans? here’s a match

so i was going to write a blog about confrontation and how there is a serious lack of it in the church

i know this because i have been doing it for years and it has often felt like a very lonely, deserted spot to set out your picnic basket

in a church congregation situation with the majority of people feeling the same thing, but everyone too afraid to speak up, or simply too lazy, and so, ok i’ll do it again (and then half of the majority of people suddenly don’t feel that way any more, most remain silent, while some even come out suddenly for the other side)

or else in a one-on-one situation (or a lot of the time one-on-two cos it is often couples who are needing a gentle correctional word in love) everyone is happily gossipping about the situation behind the person’s (or persons’) back and yet it will usually be me who steps in and takes a hit (cos let’s be honest, no-one likes being told they are wrong and so even when it goes well and ends up positively there is still pretty much always a sense of you’re-the-bad-guy feeling or belief)

i’ve pissed off church leaders and i’ve even lost (on a few odd occasions, and they turned out to be pretty odd occasions) friends on account of choosing to fight for good in someone else’s life instead of simply burying my head in the sand ostrich-style and letting them reach out and touch the hot plate on the stove…

[and let’s be honest, i have gotten it wrong on occasion, maybe many occasions, altho my intent was always 100% good, i have erred in the way or the tone or the amount of love conveyed/received and have hopefully learnt my lessons along the way]

it’s the d.n.a. of God that says He loves you so much even as you are (dirty, broken, bruised, sinful, needy, hurting, disfunctional, a lousy reflection of Him)

but it’s also the d.n.a. of God that says He loved you so much that he refuses to leave you as you are and so He always prods and encourages and directs and creates opportunity for and grows (and a lot of the time uses people to do that) you…

‘wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses’ – proverbs 27.6

so what does that all have to do with Koran burning? (surfed the net and found three different spellings and not sure which is more accepted cos they are all everywhere)

well, if you are living on some different planet, then you are unaware of a small cult [i use the word ‘cult’ where everyone else has been using the word ‘church’ because i don’t believe their actions resemble much that is churchlike in terms of how i understand the community of Jesus followers to be] called the dove world outreach center, located in gainesville, florida, who have vowed to burn a whole bunch of Korans to mark saturday’s anniversary of the 11 september attacks as they remember the almost 3000 people killed by al-quaeda hijackers (of which a whole bunch were muslim people working in the twin towers, just by the way)

and i bet you there are people in crazy man terry jones’ ‘church’ who know that what he is planning is wrong… i’ll bet you there are friends or family members of terry jones who think what he is planning is absurd and against the “love your enemies and bless those who persecute you” mantra of Jesus…

but is there confrontation? in love? is there a wound from a friend? or are there a bunch of scared or apathetic people willing to let a potentially tragedy-enducing situation carry on, because they refuse to be the one to stand up and be counted?

the crusades… apartheid… slavery and the ku klux klan… qur’an-burning…

“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.” [edmund burke]

speak the Truth in Love, absolutely…

…but the Truth MUST be spoken.

[post script: so in case i was too subtle, i am saying that i think this idea of burning korans is ridiculous, unloving, completely dangerous bordering on or more likely over insane and that this man calling himself a pastor, heading up what he calls a church is totally misguided and not acting in a Jesus-following way at all and should be stopped/rebuked/thrown in a padded room of some type]

[p.p.s i completely dont understand your confusion – i thort my stand was pretty direct – i even post-scripted my stand even more cos someone else felt i was being a bit waffly – i think its a dangerous ridiculous un-Jesuslike lack of love act which is going to hurt a lot of people and bring no-one any closer to God… yes?]