spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spam, less wonderful spam… part ii]

i enjoy blogging – i like the opportunity to pour my thorts and deep musings as well as my heavily superficial hopefully humorous nut job ramblings out onto virtual paper that a couple of other people may read and be challenged or amused or impacted or shaken by…

and i enjoy engaging with people – i love it when people disagree with me if they have a good argument that shows they are really thinking about the stuff and really believe their differing point of view – i really thrive upon the challenge that comes from having my ideas and beliefs and thorts challenged when it is by genuine people, sharing their take on things in a dignified respectful way…

and then there are the others… [and i’m honestly starting to believe there is a line of these people queued up somewhere in cyberspace, each taking their turn, to saunter down to my blog, rant, rage, accuse, go off on some barely sensical scribed rambling, spam it to death, and then head back to the queue, pass the baton on, and the next one steps up…]

i also – until recently – had a policy of approving whatever people want to post, because i do want to be open and transparent and because i do encourage differing opinions, whether i agree with them or not, and i also want the serious blogs to be places of engagement where others can come and share their ideas… but lately there have been a couple of individuals who have just spammed my blogs like crazy with their largely crazy and i deleted a bunch of them mostly cos they were taking up space and just going around in circles not saying a lot of stuff [this naturally brought out the labels, ‘typical close-minded christian’, ‘censorship,’ ‘don’t listen to anyone who disagrees with you’ and so on, and i am quite happy to have those thrown at me cos i know what is true and what isn’t]

the latest is my new friend brits who believes he must post religiously on my blogs for the following reason:

“I will post only in this section from now as it is important that you don’t get a big ego”

cos clearly my blog is all about me being centre stage (his words) and wanting all the attention and something something – his job is to keep me humble (always appreciative of more humility, we all need that)

brits has been commenting on my ‘how to love your woman better’ articles with some advice of his own – when you read these pearls you too may decide to join him in labelling me ‘close-minded’ for not wanting them to populate my pages:

“Women can be sensitive and break glasses and then you would be ready to write articles on how to love her better. I try to avoid the glasses or cups being thrown and head to the pub.”

“Your wife is hardcore chick and I see why you worry so much about doing dishes. My chick is also like that so beer is the answer and to go watch the rugby with the boys, not much into cricket thou but go if the guys all go.”

we do agree on one thing though, my wife is hardcore… altho, according to my nigerian friend, i am not allowed to say that because now that we are married we are one and if i call her hardcore i am calling myself hardcore which is vain and proud and so no more “the beautiful val”

or something.

um…. so who’s next?

spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spam, wonderful spam… part i]

there is a great monty python skit about spam – you really have to watch it (like here for example) to get the full effect of the singing…

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings wearing horned helmets. Whenever the word “spam” is repeated, they begin singing and/or chanting. A man and his wife enter. The man is played by Eric Idle, the wife is played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the waitress is played by Terry Jones, also in drag.

Man: You sit here, dear.

Wife: All right.

Man: Morning!

Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what’ve you got?

Waitress: Well, there’s egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam…

Waitress: …spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam…

Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

Waitress: …or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Wife: Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress: Well, there’s spam egg sausage and spam, that’s not got much spam in it.

Wife: I don’t want ANY spam!

Man: Why can’t she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife: THAT’S got spam in it!

Man: Hasn’t got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam… (Crescendo through next few lines…)

Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress: Urgghh!

Wife: What do you mean ‘Urgghh’? I don’t like spam!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can’t have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife: I don’t like spam!

Man: Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your spam. I love it. I’m having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam… (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)

Vikings: (Singing elaborately…) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!