How to raise your children as world changers: Meet Lara, Chris, Alexa, Moriah and India

apart from having one of the greatest full names known to personkind [say Lara Harler Lahr out loud or sing it to the tune of ‘Deck the Halls’] Lara and her husband Chris and their daughters Alexa, Moriah and India are good friends of ours that we met in Philly in our previous season of life…

having made some very similiar decisions to Nigel and his family in the previous post and demonstrating some true inspiration of what incarnation is really about and how perhaps more of us are called to live like this, here is Lara Harler Lahr…

from left: Moriah, Lara Harler, India, Chris, Alexa

We started raising our kids to be world changers before they were even conceived. The day we returned from our life changing summer in  India in 1997, we decided to live differently. It was that experience that led us to name our first daughter Alexa, which means defender of mankind. Soon after, we moved from Wilmore Kentucky to Philadelphia PA. We sold everything except what we could load into our van and bought a house in one of the poorest neighborhoods of Philadelphia 13 years ago. I knew that bringing an almost 1 year old to the ghetto of Philadelphia made no logical sense to our family or much of our friends…and there were days that I thought we were crazy as well!

Our next door neighbors fought a lot. I remember fearing for the woman next door and for those sweet boys of hers. As the screaming went on for hours on end, all we could do was pray…or so we thought…. We started talking to our neighbors a little here and there and eventually decided to take down the little gate between our two back “yards.”  We went in halfsies and bought a baby pool.  I never had any deep conversations with them during that first year, and never pried into their problems. One day Chris was on the front porch hanging out when he saw our neighbor talking to other neighbors. Afterwards she came to Chris and said “Did you see that?! I just talked to a neighbor!! I never talk to neighbors, but I have been noticing you and Lara talking to neighbors and I decided I shouldn’t be the neighborhood bitch anymore!” Then she went on to say that she had noticed our relationship and it really brought hope for a healthy marriage!!

We realized at that point that having a healthy marriage and a healthy relationship with our kids does change the world!  Especially in the area where we live…where hardly and kids have a two parent home!!

Fast forward 13 years to today. We have three daughters who go to a local charter school. We have been part of a local church in the heart of the “Badlands” of Philly.  They witness the reality of poverty, drug addiction, prostitution, incarceration, shootings, and other violence. We have had to listen to our girls share heart breaking stories that they have heard from friends at school. My younger ones love to play homeless like most kids like to play house! This is just the world they know. Because my girls are exposed to such difficult and seemingly unchangeable circumstances, we put a lot of energy into teaching them to pray.  We have had morning devotions every morning for several years now and we are teaching them to pray and believe.

Two years ago we were able to travel to India to visit with our friend and her 48 kids and the child that we have been sponsoring for years. I had been in a car accident that left me with a settlement that covered our trip, and I wanted to go there more than do anything else so that my kids could witness and be a part of the faith of these kids in India. I could go on and on with stories of how much faith these children have and how God answers their prayers. I want my girls to know that closeness with God and to have that kind of faith. My girls hearts were changed. They are being molded more and more every day by their experiences which give them love for people and a deeper reliance on the power of prayer that does change the world.

[For another exciting story on raising children as world affecting people, click here for the story of Lisa Scandrette and her family]

 

How to raise your children as world changers: Meet Bruce and Gemma, Emily, Mikaela

Their voices matter. 

I have 3 daughters. All beautiful. All unique.

All noisy.

There are many donkeys missing hind legs because of their incessant talking. It’s the easiest thing to tune this out. Their voices can so easily become white noise, punctuated by my “ums” and “aahs”, tricking them into believing that I’m actually listening.

That’s not how it works, though. Kids have built in “parents-are-ignoring-me” sensors. Either they’ll shout louder in order to be heard or, sadly, they’ll walk away, learning time after time that they have no voice and their opinions don’t matter. 

That’s why my wife, Yolanda, and I have decided to be intentional about listening. We make time in our manic existence (that’s usually around a meal or in the lull before bed time) to actively listen to our girls.

What does that have to do with being a world changer?

Here’s my take on it:

When we listen to our children and ask pertinent, probing questions, we will begin to hear what is being shaped in their heart. Their life’s purpose will begin to become audible. As we listen, we earn the right to speak. We receive an invitation to be part of that heart shaping. We have an amazing opportunity to help them understand their kingdom purpose. And, if they understand that, they will change the world.

I have no idea how my girls will change the world but I do know that they already are. I can hear it as they speak of the joys and pains of every day. I hear it as they empathise. I hear it as they pray with mountain-sized faith. I hear it in their tear-filled sobs and in the things that break their hearts.

My girls must know that they have a voice. I desire with all my heart that they understand that that voice has a kingdom purpose. I desire that that voice (their voices) will change this world.

[Bruce Collins is a close friend of mine and he loves Jesus, his wife Yolanda and three girls, coffee and then other stuff. He has a blog he seldom posts on, but when he does it is usually transforming and life provoking stuff which you can check out here]

[For more creative parenting ideas, take a look at this post by my United Kingdom cousin David Fee]