Tandem Post: The Art of Boredom

“THAT… IS COMPLETE AND UTTER… RUBBISH!” D muttered, before slamming the door on his way out.

B hated his roommate!

Oh sure, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Move in with Death? Everyone had been completely jealous. What in the world could be more exciting than that?

And to be honest, in the beginning it had been.

The thrill of watching the sand slowly pouring through the hourglasses. Sneaking a quick peek at whose time was coming next when the old boneshaker was asleep [or at least his version of ‘asleep’ which really meant sitting upright on a chair at the dining table with a pillowcase over his skull to block out some of the light – it could be fairly disconcerting if you walked into the room and found him there].

B’s personal highlight was watching Death struggle awkwardly every single time he mounted his horse Binky before he took off on a job. Every. Single. Time. Why he, Death, chose to ride a real live horse was beyond him. Something dramatic no doubt. Death was nothing short of dramatic.

And yet, as time passed, and in this apartment time really did pass, the initial thrill had worn off quickly.

Death had refused to let him take a look at his own hourglass, muttering something about it not being in the rules, and had kept it well hidden in a secured location somewhere B had as yet been unable to discover.

Oh, and let’s face it, B thought to himself yet again, Death was also a bit of a dick.

He paused for a moment and looked back at his painting. It really wasn’t THAT bad, he thought, before slipping his brush back into the grey and dabbing at the bowl of fruit he was trying to re-create. His mind returned once more to his thoughts about his roommate.

He refused to do his share of the dishes, he always left stuff lying around the apartment, who knows WHAT that thing was in the container right at the back of the fridge – it was beginning to smell beyond bad, and if he paid the most careful of attention as he moved his eyes away from looking directly at it, his peripheral vision was pretty convinced it was starting to move.

B poked once more at the banana, which was starting to look a bit like a… like a… well, clearly not all that much like a banana. He carefully put down the brush, and sighed.

It wasn’t like he didn’t have time to clear up after Death. His own work was so tedious, he was frankly glad any time he came home to find any form of distraction to busy himself with. After another hard day of what? Distributing kitten and baby videos on the various social network platforms. Organising weather forecasts for London.School history orals, political speakers, library visits and apartment bathroom floor tile selection. Not quite the stuff to make a poor ageing mum proud.

‘Maybe I am jealous? Could that be it?’

B picked up his latest creation. ‘Creation’ is a bit of a strong word for this, he thought to himself. ‘Attempt.’ Yes, that’s better. Just.

He took it into his bedroom and tossed it uncaringly on the pile with all the others. Take up a hobby? Whatever had he been thinking?

He threw himself on to his bed and within minutes he had completely succumbed to ennui and despair.

‘Ooh, this is good,’ he thought out loud. ‘This i can use. Perhaps i shall keep that up after all.’

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[With a wink and a nod to the late legend, Terry Pratchett, whose portrayal of Death [my absolute favouritest character of his] i borrowed from to help make my story realer, and whose birthday it would have been yesterday as i wrote this]

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This post is part of a tandem blogging exercise with 9 other bloggerists. One title unwrapped by nine bloggerists. We realise that 9 is a lot of posts to read, but there is a lot of great stuff to be looked at, so please do your best. Why not start with Cath’s post over here, followed by Scott which you can find over here. Welcome Kerry who is new to the team by reading what she came up with over here. Then the rest of the posts can be found below. Maybe bookmark this page and spend the next week checking all of them out. Please share your thoughts on our fun exercise in the comments on each post, and remember that with bloggerists, sharing is always caring. 

Cath: https://t.co/98AE4tkase

Scott: http://squidsquirts.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-art-of-boredom.html

Kerry: https://t.co/zEWHwIT1kh

James: http://www.jamespreston.org/2015/04/the-art-of-boredom.html

Megan: http://www.meganshead.co.za/the-art-of-boredom

Sarah: https://t.co/rHoS76QhMt

Dave: http://t.co/2G0tFmSrSn

Nick: https://medium.com/@nick_frost/the-art-of-boredom-e5da71765c91

[To see the first Tandem Post i did with the title, ‘Meeting the Queen’, click here]

Okay we get it… now what?

My friend Megan just drew my attention to this most excellent article by Max Du Preez titled ‘Let go of the anger’ with a little warning disclaimer that i should not read the comments. [Honestly, why would i do that to myself? And yes now EVERYthing in me wants to read the comments – thankx Megs!]

Do yourself a favour – go read the whole article, and then come back here. i will wait.

[waits]

Ah good, you’re back.

Max touches on something that i have been thinking about and struggling with for a long time. Obviously there are the Viv’s and Ric’s and whatever he/she is calling themselves this week who don’t get it and won’t get it and aren’t trying to. It is going to take something monumental for many of them to shift. We can’t waste too much of our time on them. But for all those who genuinely love this country and are really honestly wanting to see positive change and really treading water in terms of having any idea of what to do, this is where the conversation needs to continue.

Max said it better than i can:

Too many whites moan about the deterioration of service delivery and about corruption without acknowledging that their quality of life today is higher than two decades ago and that much of the country is still functioning very well. Too many are so caught up in their arrogant cocoons to see that the only real poverty and suffering are among the black majority. Sensitive issues such as affirmative action, black economic empowerment, crime and farm attacks are abused as sjamboks wielded indiscriminately and with great anger.

Just under the surface, is the feeling I mostly get, lies the feeling that “black” equals “incompetent”.

Too many voices from the black community simply focus on white privilege with little attention being paid to how the governments since 1994 have failed to bring about a more just society. Too few articulate what they think should be done to create a society where most citizens feel happy and acknowledged.

It is too simplistic to simply blame the white community in 2015 of perpetuating black poverty after 1994.

The point is that there IS truth in both statements. We get what a lot of the problem is and we need to be more open and free in acknowledging where from our side [and the colour we unwittingly represent] there is a problem. And that the problem we see in the other side is not the only problem, that if solved, would suddenly miraculously turn things around.

It is a both/and scenario and i think people on either side [again, the whole Us vs. Them rearing its ugly head] need to really be able to own up to their proverbial poo.

‘Let go of the anger’ is the cry. And this interesting article written by Antjie Krog, author of ‘Begging to be Black’ that i recently read, gives perhaps some picture of how this can take place.

The anger that we need to let go of, the grievances that we have [which often are completely legitimate as Max mentions above] can forever mist up our eyes and paralyse our actions if we don’t move beyond them.

One place i have observed this has been in conversations with some of my black friends who live in the townships who have no doubt that land restitution is of the highest order, but seem to have little practical idea of how this might be brought about. Which becomes a little frustrating. Even when giving them a carte blanche scenario where they have all the power for a day or a month or whatever it is to bring about the change in relation to land restitution, there doesn’t seem to be a plan as to how it could actually happen.

Is there possibly a way to not let go of the ideal that is land reparation [and continue to meet and wrestle and figure out how we can turn that idea into a practical solution in the best possible way] but get started on some more manageable directly achievable movements?

Is there a way where we step back from complaints about service delivery and corruption [not saying either of those are okay, but just move those issues to the side] and focus on the quality of life we have and question whether there might be any changes we could make now that might be helpful. One example might be if we have someone who cleans our house or looks after our children, to look at what we pay them and assess if it is minimum wage or a living wage?

Can we accept that the government is not pulling its weight in a way that benefits all its citizens, but instead of having that as our main banner call, perhaps shift our view to provincial or even more local forms of government and start lobbying for necessary changes there?

It is time for us to move away from purely ideological and hypothetical and wishful thinking arguments and conversations and get our hands more dirty with the practical solutions that are around us. What might some of those solutions be? Please feel free to share some ideas in the comments section.

[For this post, don’t even waste your time with disparaging racial comments – anything that is not a direct response to this post or a possible solution idea will be instantly deleted]

One person who gives Megan hope in South Africa is: brett “Fish” anderson

So this is a little awkward… but i was never one to shy away from awkward…

Today while i was out in town i got an email which i checked on my phone and it was from my friend and Improv guru, Megan Furniss, and simply subjected, ‘a little thing i wrote’, and so i read it and it made me a little emotional sitting outside in Long street in the middle of Cape Town at a coffee shop called Lolas…

Shortly after, another short email came through which said this:

‘I hope you post it as one of the ‘people in SA who make me hopeful’ series. It is meant for public.’

And so [anyone knowing Megan Furniss will know the last line disclaimer to be completely 100% true] this is this week’s story of hope in South Africa:

‘There is this guy I know, Brett Fish Anderson, and he is one of these people that make my feelings complicated, in a good way. I disagree with him on the most fundamental of issues, because I am a proud and outspoken atheist and he is a loud(ish) Christian. I am diametrically opposed to religion of any shape or form and would be happy to wake up to a world without it, in the same way that Brett would love to have a raisin free world.

And yet, for the most part, or in fact, for all the other parts, I think that Brett and I share the world and our view of it, and the people in it. And Brett is one person who gives me hope in South Africa.

Here are a few reasons why.

Brett went to America and learned stuff. When he came back he kept asking the right, and important questions. And mostly they tackle the issue of race, and white privilege head-on. This is vital. Brett is clear about understanding, or at least trying to understand, poverty. This is vital. Brett doesn’t take being white personally, even though he is. There are very few people that I know of that can get over themselves enough to be honest, outspoken and truthful about white privilege. He picks at the scab, and has to be pretty strong about what comes out. Often it is the stinky, white pus. He is brave, and clear, and diligent and consistent here, and he gives me hope, and direction in this regard. I am a hothead and I get hysterical. Sometimes I need Brett’s more gentle and ironic voice (even though I pretty much hate every pun and silly spelling departure).

Brett is an improviser, and we improvise together. This means we share the improv (and life) philosophy of YES. This makes us those people. We see possibility. We see a story unfolding. We see characters come alive because of the positive. This is vital in South Africa.

Brett can rhyme. This is vital, because I love rhyming.

Brett has written a book called ‘i, church’. I might not read it because I have no interest in the subject matter. But I love Brett and his mind, and his way in the world, and in my South Africa.

Disclaimer: He did not pay, in cash or anything else, for these words.’

[And speaking of words, Megan is an excellent writer and improviser and her first novel, ‘Green Margie and the Starlight’ is now up on Amazon and you should totally buy it and read it and share it around cos it is that good – and nope, she definitely didn’t expect me to do that!]

[For another story of someone who gives hope, this time Jason Woolf and a way of revitalising SA culture, click here]

[For other South African stories of people giving us hope, click here]

Marriage Year 10 : Meet Megan and Brenton Furniss

On the 9^th of May Brenton and I will celebrate our 10^th wedding anniversary, although we mark being together for 11 years more strongly. Our relationship still continues to grow, evolve, settle, change, as we ourselves do.

Here is one thing I think we got right. Very soon in our relationship we had a big bump. Something came up that neither of us knew how to deal with and we had a silent, sleepless and terrible night. The next morning I went about trying to fix what had gone wrong, and I did it with patience, gentleness and clarity. It was the first time I had gone about this in this way. In the past and in other relationships I would have exploded, been overwhelmed with rage, and fought with every tooth and nail, but I wanted so badly for this to have a positive outcome. I wanted us to come to a deep understanding and a place where things could be properly fixed.

We agreed that instead of drawing battle lines in the sand, and facing each other through life, we would stand together, side by side, looking out in the same direction, taking things on together. And this has meant our fights are rare. We hate fighting. Of course we do, but because they are so rare we are lost ships at sea, and have to find stiller waters so we can go back to our default position of love, support and communication.

When we got married we performed a little ritual called the Mexican knot as part of the ceremony. It is a rope in a figure eight. Each partner gets one circle of the rope around them and the symbolism is clear; we are joined (for eternity) yet also absolutely separate individuals.

We also had friends sing our favourite Bruce Springsteen love song as we came down the forest path, and the lyrics are our mantra, “Darling I’ll wait for you, and should I fall behind, wait for me.” I love this. When I think about its importance in the long term it makes such sense. We cannot predict how we will respond to all things on our life’s journey, nor who will take the lead, nor who might fall behind, but we will wait for each other, face forward together and it is both comforting and an extraordinary privilege.

[For the next post on Year 13 of Marriage let’s hear from Nate and Andrea Milheim]

a Thriller in every possible way: Improguise Improvfest night 2

in the middle of the show, a moment of courage in the face of no small amount of fear – What if Stephanie does not understand or receive my idea?

the show is a completely made-up on the spot improvised Crime/Thriller documentary and it was show number two in Cape Town’s second ever Improv fest, happening this week at the Kalk Bay theatre [8pm, R60 per person and with delicious boerrie rolls and free drink for R60, make sure you book on 0729393351]

Stephanie was the lead character in our Crime/Thriller documentary which, as per audience suggestion, was set in Russia, sometime in the 70s and the crime in question was that someone was stabbed with a stake through the heart.

i was dutch doctor turned professor [sometime during the twenty years Stephanie had been in prison as the documentary was being filmed 20 years after said event] Dr Jaap von Vlanderen with a deliciously Russian tinged Dutch accent [20 years will do that to you] and the moment in question was one in which Stephanie, who had been completely unresponsive during my therapy was suddenly right there in the action of what had happened, describing the murder with “blood on my hands dripping down”…

i had an idea – Stephanie is under hypnosis which describes why the dramatic change in character – and i will click my fingers and release her from it…

which is where the fear comes in as i have no way to let Stephanie know this is what i am thinking… i will make an offer and either Stephanie will accept it wholeheartedly and it will be beautiful and a defining moment in the show… or she will be confused by what i am trying to do if i don’t communicate it effectively and miss it completely… or she will decide that i am offering a kak idea and just refuse it completely…

these thoughts travel at 100 miles a minute through my head but in reality i have maybe three seconds to think it all and make a choice and act on it.

what i have going strongly in my favour is that Stephanie is none other than Megan Furniss, founder of TheatreSports [Cape Town’s longest running theatre show, now going under the name of Improguise] and improviser extraordinaire and i know that the “Yes, lets” of improvisation is strong within her and so there is every safety for me in suggesting an idea and knowing she will help make it beautiful… [there is still the question of whether i will communicate it well enough for her to be on the same page as me]

[deep breath, lean forward, click my fingers] “And release.”

Megan, aka Stephanie, immediately slumps forward, instantly receiving my offer and playing it brilliantly without even a moment’s hesitation.

The audience is in on it. It worked. The story is moved forward. Adrenalin pulsating. Improvisation at its best.

Just one defining moment in an incredible evening where all the actors have worked together as one cohesive team to create a compelling story of political intrigue, international espionage and betrayal.

And it is going to be happening again tonite [Family musical] and then Saturday [Superscene which is like a crazy hectic version of Survivor:Improvise] and next week from Wed [Western] through to Saturday,

And then every Monday and Tuesday for the rest of the year. Although that will be back to our short form improvised games.

For me, having lived in Philadelphia and now Oakland in Americaland for the last two and a half years [except for a visit last year where i got to be involved in the first festival] it is such a privilege to be allowed to play with these talented people on stage again before heading back.

You do not want to be one of the people in Cape Town who misses out on this magic, so tell your friends and book and come and watch. Who knows what tonite’s adrenalin moment will be…?

the serious quest for funny [part ii]

[Continued from part i]

as i said before, one thing i take really seriously in life, is humour:

‘To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.’

[Jack Handey] 

‘I imagine a horse drawn carriage would be a really ugly thing. For starters, it must be almost impossible to grip a pencil with hooves. Plus there is all that fine detail around the edges to consider.’

[Brett Andy]

[one of my funniest guys followed by one of my attempts at making humour like on of my funniest guys, which you can find more of here]

so i didn’t actually plan to write the previous blog post – it just kinda was there and i started on it and suddenly it became this thing needing to be ended off before it became a book and since i hadn’t finished going where i was wanting to go when i started it, i figured i should carry on. it was one of the most personal blogs i have written and contained some stories and revelations that i have never really shared with anyone, especially the bullying stuff. i guess because my self-identity was pretty strong from quite a young age, due to my faith in God, that that stuff never really got to me so much, or at least not in a way that led to any destructive behaviour or anything.

one of the main points of it was that i really hoped to be quite funny in life and in certain contexts and with particular people i have been – and maybe that is enough, or should be – but i guess i always secretly harboured the hope that on stage or in a book or online or something i would be ‘discovered’ and a whole lot more people would find me funny. and also wanting to write a funnier blog [not always but sometimes, something that would really make people happy] and realising that for me that is a really difficult thing to do – i really seem to struggle to write funny [more than i struggle to be funny] and i’m not sure why that is, but stop it.

someone who i think achieves that writing-wise is a woman named Jamie Wright who calls herself The Very Worst Missionary and her blog makes me smile and laugh on quite regular occasions, but she also totally knows how to drive an uber serious point home and nail it between your eyes. [a classic of hers would be how she manages to capture so brilliantly awkwardly her mistrust and lack of skill at ‘The Hug’ – take a look at this one!]

when it comes to stand-up, which i’ve always wanted [but been too scared] to try, i have a strong feeling that once i got going i would be great because one of my skills is working a crowd – i have just never been able to come up with the starting material to lay a good foundation to be able to work a crowd from. and so i never have. and perhaps i never will. [although in my mind i still like to at least think i will and maybe the material that is naturally rushing towards me in the Americans and African Geography theme might be enough for a set one day altho i will need to disclaim that this is a true story… no, South Africa itself is a country. please stop asking me what country i am from. still South Africa. yes.]

THE FRIEND WHO DID LIGHTS AND AN IMPROV LIFELINE

i guess one of the things i am most grateful to my ex-girlfriend Kirsty for, is having a friend called Karen.

Karen used to do the lights for an improv comedy show in Cape Town called TheatreSports [altho these days they are now called Improguise and they do TheatreSports]and because we were friends with her we ended up going to see quite a lot of their shows. and because we went to see quite a lot of their shows i feel like we eventually got to see them for free or something.

but i sat there for a year and i watched these masters of comedy and improvisation and i thought to myself repeatedly, ‘i can do that’ although in my head i imagine the word ‘better’ probably ended off that particular sentence.

and so, somehow i ended up doing the TheatreSports course with one of the scariest women [when she is mad] who was [and always has been in my experience] the most gentlest person when leading people through a very scary-by-nature class where it is all about making things up on the spot [and perhaps trying to have those things make people laugh!] and who led [and leads] and incredible class and i really, honestly believe that everyone in the world should do the Introduction to TheatreSports course once in their life as it is so helpful for learning to think creatively, for helping break your inhibitions and for teaching you how to be generous in helping other people look good.

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# let me give a bit of a sidebar here, because i believe this is of the utmost importance in terms of my journey – the way TheatreSports generally works is that you do the course and then there are three options given to you:

1. Thanks for doing the course. I hope you had fun. You will make an excellent librarian.

2. Thanks for doing the course. I hope you had fun. We would love to have you as part of our team. Feel free to join us for class once a week and we would love you to do the front of house and lights for approximately 6 months before you ever have a hope of being on stage. [this is not said to people but is the general understanding – new people from a course do door and lights for about 6 months before any of them are given a shot on stage and some of them might never be]

3. Thanks for doing the course. I hope you had fun. We would like you to play in two week’s time.

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From most of the courses i have been around for, i can’t remember many more than three people [out of a group that might be 15 to 25] be asked to join us for class. i think everyone who has been invited to class has been a number 2 in terms of the descriptions above.

In fact, i have only ever seen one number 3 that i remember [and that could really just be my memory, but this is the one that stands out] and that was me. And i honestly don’t know that i would have managed to stick around for 6 months not playing if i had not been given the chance. Hopefully i would have. But i know for absolute sure, that the fact that i got on to stage to play with them almost immediately was the hugest boost for my confidence and in my opinion, improvisation is 80% confidence and 20% skills and funny or something like that.

Ashley Brownlee and Megan Choritz, now Furniss, are in my opinion the best TheatreSports players i have ever worked with [and there have been a bunch of other hugely talented people as well] and the secret with them was that they could come up with amazing ideas most of the time… but on occasion they could also have a pretty crap idea and deliver it with an amazing character or with such incredible confidence that it would be brilliant and the audience would love them. i have seen many lesser skilled players have amazing ideas and deliver them nervously and they have crashed and burned. so much of it is confidence. and i am so grateful that, for what ever reason [maybe shortage of players when i was around] i was given the chance to get on to the stage quite quickly.

and sometimes i was good. and sometimes i was really really bad.

i remember one excrutiating Rag show we did in the Baxter theatre [an annual show for the local university students where they got stand-up often filthy comedy for an hour and then we brought our family friendly show for an hour] where we were playing a warm-up game called ‘Environment’ which is a guessing game where the audience pick three words while you are out of the room and then you come in and play the scene in the environment they give you and try stumble on to the words.

Ashley Brownlee: best guy i ever played with.

 Ours was set in a Spur and i got stuck on stage as the head waiter or chef as teammate after teammate came on and guessed food suggestions for the last word we just couldn’t get and left again. Embarrassing, awkward, awful and i died a little inside. fortunately i also remember one of my highlight moments ever came at the end of that show and i forget the exact scene but we were playing Music Style Replay and Ashley and i managed to get our tongues stuck to a frozen ski lift and were singing a rousing duet that brought the house down.

i played with the TheatreSports crew for just under a year and in the beginning there is very much [even if just in your head] the feeling of you being the newcomer and this subtle gap between you and the regular players – they don’t treat you any differently and it is probably again linked to a confidence thing [as early on, most of the notes sessions we have after a show where we discuss how things went and try to learn from them, seem to be aimed at you because you are messing up the most] but i do remember the moment ‘it happened’ and suddenly i was one of the team – and having played for 11 years with them i got to see that dynamic happen with other people as well where there is this moment of ‘yup, you’re really in’ and i imagine each player probably experiences that differently.

so if my first lifeline was being thrown quickly on to stage, my second lifeline happened a year or two later. as i mentioned i was with TheatreSports for a year and then i went overseas to do the Youth With A Mission course that i did in Holland, heading to the UK and London specifically first so as to make money to pay for it. but before i left i really thought it would be a great idea to proselytise the entire team and in a very messy way that was brought about by circumstances and time constraints and fear i guess, i ended up writing a long letter comparing aspects of TheatreSports and improv games and then giving it to each of them and leaving the country.

it did not go down so well.

SO MUCH GRACE AND LOVE 

and i was away for just over a year and i knew that everyone was really pissed with me. and so i just tried to keep/build relationship by sending postcards and emails and staying in touch and letting them know that i missed them.

time managed to heal a lot of wounds. and my TheatreSports crew were incredibly gracious. i remember literally having one moment back stage with my ‘Stunt Double’ friend Sarah before going on to do a show and then it was left in the past. it was a few months after my return that i felt my moment of transition from ‘new guy’ to ‘one of the team’ and i just soared from there.

so much fun. so much funny. so many great memories and great memories of not-so-great-corporate-show memories and trips to Namibia and Sun City and all around Cape Town for a whole bunch of very different shows. i loved getting to lead TheatreSports courses with Megan and others in the team. quite possibly one of the fun highlight moments of life [and a running gag between me and my teammate] was the time Fiona Du Plooy and i were doing a workshop at a boy’s school in Cape Town and playing a game where you basically set up the next kid in line with an action [with the strong instruction to never make anyone do anything you would not do yourself] and one of the boy’s when asked ‘what are you doing?’ [usually the answer is something like ‘I’m eating an ice-cream’ and then the next kid mimes eating an ice-cream] responded with ‘I’m sucking a ferret’ and despite losing Fiona almost completely to giggles at the suggestion, before we had a chance to interject and re-emphasise the instruction, the next boy in line mimed sucking a ferret as if it were a giant lollipop… needless to say we needed a time-out to get Fiona back and it has been a private joke between us for years…

the key focus of TheatreSports is teamwork and making each other look good and i think i took a little while to learn that one, whereas i was surrounded by generous folks who were always modelling it for me – but i tended to try to get the laugh for myself and often do it at the expense of the scene or the believability of the scene and that was never very cool of me and i often got ‘shouted at’ in notes. i guess it was the struggle between finally having the space and the skills to be funny and having people [a whole audience of them] think i was. but i owe so much to that tireless group of improvisers who showed me grace and forgiveness and patience on so many occasions as i learnt to do improvisation more as a team player.

altho one aspect does stand apart from all of that. my favourite game from the beginning [my watching days] was a game called Sign, where much like the recent Mandela memorial service, someone gets up and makes up a whole lot of sign language. the game is played as an interview where two people are given a topic and the third person recreates the entire interview in a made-up sign language.

in my opinion, Ashley Brownless is the king of that game. is and always will be. i used to love watching him do the sign language and because he was so good, no one else ever wanted to try it. if we played Sign, Ashley was going to do the signing.

i imagine there must have been times when Ashley wasn’t around during our time at TS together and i probably would have tried doing it. but it was really when Ashley left that i started doing it more and more and then suddenly i became the go-to person for sign and at some point people even started referring to it as my game. that was a big moment for me. i have always said that i am not as good an actor as most of the rest of TheatreSports [who generally had some kind of dramatic training] and so when it comes to creating [and holding] characters and making scenes happen, i was always on the back foot [especially in the early days, hopefully i’ve improved]. so i used to generally excel at games that involved words or quick wit or cleverness [my absolute favourite game being one we invented as a team called Jonathan’s Lisp where we would get two consonants from the audience and if it was a ‘F’ and a ‘P” then ever ‘F’ in the scene that our characters spoke would be replaced with a ‘P’ – it was a lot of silly pun].

so the idea that i was really good at one particular game really was a great ego and confidence boost for me. and i just also loved playing that particular game so much as well.

and so being part of that amazing group of creative and clever and witty and adventurous and generous people is one of the things i really miss a lot from being away from South Africa [for close to three years now – although in Jan this year they let me play a bunch of shows when i was there and that was so much fun!]

MY NON-EXISTENT [SO FAR] INTERNATIONALIMPROV CAREER

and i did audition for two shows while i was over here:

[1] the first was a group called Comedysportz in Philly and they were really great – as with TheatreSports days of old i would sit in the audience and watch their show and think, ‘I am definitely better than at least half of these people’ and so i was super amped to play but in all honesty probably would not have had the time with our Philly work/home schedule – I went to an audition [and i really suck at auditions – my humour, as mentioned, works well playing off an audience] and thought i did decently, but they auditioned about a hundred people in three days in three minute auditions and so i really didn’t have much of a chance and didn’t make it. i was bummed, but playing improv for 11 years with an amazing bunch of people back home and knowing i could do it, meant that it didn’t ding my confidence or identity at all. their loss really. i still enjoyed watching a bunch of their shows and made friends with some of the people who played and they had some really great players as well.

[2] in the first few weeks in Oakland we found a place online and i went and auditioned there and they said they would email us back with the results within 24 hours and i never heard back from them. i auditioned with about 12 other people and easily thought i was in the top 2 so really didn’t think i wouldn’t get in. however, while i was auditioning, my wife Val was outside waiting for me and got to witness their ‘A-Team’ practising and she told me later it was a really horrible experience with people blocking each other and fighting on stage and just doing a bunch of stuff that didn’t make for good improv. so bullet dodged i guess.

but i do miss playing and am looking forward to a guest appearance at a show or two in Jan/Feb when we head home for a visit which is but weeks away. i have been playing around with the idea of perhaps running an improv course here in Oakland and seeing if we can get a little something together. but we will have to see.

so the TheatreSports crew and my years in improv definitely helped play a huge role in terms of me finding my funny and it has been so amazing to perform for and entertain literally thousands of people over the last decade and more. thank you thank you thank you to everyone who played big and small roles in that.

i feel like there is one more part to share [anyone make it down this far?] which will focus on the more recent years, my failed attempts at viral success and my discovery of a really tiny audience who really appreciate my funny way more than they should and have inspired me to keep on trying simply because i love seeing how they interact and looking at attempts at Jack Handeyesque humour, a nutcase called Brad Fish [who at least four schools in South Africa invited into their online classrooms to teach English to], my standup pulpit and the biggest [and sometimes hardest but most fulfilling when it comes] laugh to strive for – that of tbV.

to close off, one of my favourite movie lines which comes from a Bond movie and was perhaps meant in all seriousness, but which i find one of the greatest and funniest lines of all time – picture Sean Connery’s James Bond strapped to a table with a gold laser beam making its way slowly towards his privates as villain Auric Goldfinger looks on:

James Bond: Do you expect me to talk?

Goldfinger: No, Mister Bond, I expect you to die.

[to be continued…]

I did that. Gold medal right there.

and of course in 11 years of improv’ing where more often than not i have been on the opposing team to Megan, one of my favourite [naughty] things to do is when we do play a game together and i find a way to corpse [make her break character and laugh] her – because she is such a pro that it doesn’t happen often, hence the challenge, and the reward when this results:

[To continue on to part iii which looks largely at my stand-up preaching and the three jokes i invented, click here]

Good Will(ed) Acting

so last nite the beautiful val and myself went off to support theatresports stalwart megan furniss’ new directed play ‘Good Will Acting’ at the Kalk Bay theatre, strangely enuff in Kalk Bay and had a really fun and delightingful time. you should go! no really, do it!

the two part play revolves around the concept of four out of work actors (the corporate they were booked for was cancelled) during the december holidays who eventually decide to collaborate together and put on a nativity play (altho as Ras the Rasta points out, they will be doing an Activity play cos na-tivity is too negative)

Larissa Hughes plays Marlene who is the group therapist slash directress and tries to pull the whole thing together; Anele Situlweni as Ras the Rasta does a lot of ‘I and I’ philosophising while wielding the english language to his will with great tweaks such as ‘I overstand’ and comments like ‘The universe shall reimburse’…

Ntomoxolo Makhutshi is an exhuberant political-energy-driven Libertina X who is constantly in the face of the other actors and Daneel van der Walt is phenomenal as Tabitha who is a little bit out there and crazy while trying to constantly fit in with the rastaness and black empowerment spirit of the other two.

each of the four actorpeoples were brilliant in terms of their character portrayal (altho for both me and tbv i think Daneel to some extent stole the show – maybe we just relate a little bit too close to ‘the crazy’) and the collaboration between the four very different characters created a satisfying and diverse mix

bouncing between monologues and group interaction the first half of the show sets the scene for the playing of the musical play in the second half which is an absolute delight and there is a group disappointment when it draws to an end, as we could have definitely watched another 15 to 30 minutes of that finely crafted result of their endeavours

they bring a very fresh energy to the telling of the nativity story (from the perspective of four out of work actors) combining song, movement, glaringly over-the-top product placements, finger puppets and a set of costumes and props left over from another show they were working on… the standing up bed scene with the innkeepers, that starts it off, a complete highlight.

basically, if you are in cape town, and looking for a good nite of just pure fun and entertainment, you need to go along and watch this play [as a side note if you can take nicholas spagnoletti’s mom with, the enjoyment she received from the show was a complete highlight and ambience creator as well, so see if she is available]

Directed, workshopped, written, edited (and lighted on the nite) by Megan Furniss of TheatreSports fame, Good Will Acting is devised in collaboration with cast members Anele, Daneel,Larissa and Ntomoxolo and it looks like they had a whole lot of fun bringing it all together.

Good Will Acting will be performed Wednesday to Saturday until 18 December and from 20 – 23 and 27 – 31 December, when there will be a special New Year’s Eve performance.

Performances start at 20h30 and tickets for show only cost R100. Tickets for the preview cost R50. Family specials of four or more are R80 per person. Doors open at 6pm and theatre-goers can enjoy a light meal before the show. To book and for further information, contact 073 220 5430 or visit http://www.kbt.co.za

[if you befriend megan furniss on facebook then there is the offer of two tickets for the price of one and at 50 bucks each – for the poorer thespian appreciators like myself – it really is moe than worth checking out]