back to your future – part People Gratitude

“We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.”  [John F. Kennedy]

we can often fall into the habit of thinking of the past with a negative light in terms of missed opportunities or  things done to us or perhaps people we might have hurt or disappointed or maybe baggage we carry from broken relationships. This stuff can really weigh us down and also cause a lot of damage to our present and future and so i believe it is really helpful to take a look backwards in a positive light and see if there is anything we can or need to do, to help us live more fully now and beyond.

i think a great next thing to take a look at is the idea of people gratitude – Remembering those people who poured into your life and helped shape you into the person you have become today.

‘Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” [A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh]

if i had to start naming names on this one i would be busy for a very long time, and i would no doubt leave a lot of people out and possibly make someone sad… but there are just so many people who i am grateful to have had in my life for shorter or longer periods of time. people who took chances on me and gave me opportunities, people who defended me, often without me even knowing it, before others who criticised or judged or wanted to take me down in some way… those who took time to really listen to me and hear me, those who wrestled with me [metaphorically, for the most part] who held opposing ideas but who never allowed that to affect the love or friendship between us… those who were completely generous to me in a thousand different ways [and now to me and the beautiful Val]… and all those who are currently pouring money and prayer and encouragement into this part of our journey in Americaland… those who were brave enough to call me on stuff [especially those who managed to do it in such a way that the love still was recognisable] who probably deserve a double portion of gratitude and some form of danger pay for the risk-taking…

to all these people i am grateful. and i try to find opportunities to express that gratitude in a variety of different ways, and know that i can and should do better in this area.

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” [Marcel Proust]

what about you? take a moment to think about some people who have made significant contributions to you life – those who made you feel good, those who comforted you or simply listened or were there when times were tough, and those who risked saying difficult things you really needed to hear and hopefully listened to.

when last did you write someone a note, give someone a call or simply drop them a text to say ‘Thank-you for…’ 

why not take a few minutes now to do that… and then try and work it in regularly into your weekly schedule – start cultivating a rhythm of gratitude

“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.” [Elizabeth Gilbert]

[To continue to the next part which looks at learning from your past, click here]

what will you celebrate as your head hits the pillow?

one day you will be old. and then dead. hopefully in that order. preferably without skipping the first part.

and a lot has been said about that… like the much shared list of top 5 regrets of the dying according to a nurse who hung out with a lot of dying people and got to hear a list of their regrets apparently [no Patch Adams noodle baths from this fun lady it seems] and these are the top 5 that emerged:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

we were also given that Baz Luhrmann ‘Sunscreen’ song/speech that reminded us of the long term benefits of wearing sunscreen, which contained such gems as:

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.

And then one of the most classical of them all:

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

And on it goes – lists about climbing more mountains, picking more flowers, taking less photographs and living more in the moments you are capturing and so on…

Which is all great and important and true but can end up being another overwhelming set of ideals and wish lists and if onlys that you never actually really get to and will one day end up on your regret list.

So what do i want to suggest?

2 simple things – CELEBRATION and GRATITUDE:

The title of this post is ‘What do you celebrate as your head hits the pillow?’ – I remember one year where i kept a journal for a whole year and all that i wrote in it was at the end of each day one thing that i was grateful for from that day. From as simple as a friendly note from a friend on Facebook to something more powerful like witnessing life transformation in a friend or an answer to prayer or being able to resist temptation in a moment. Being intentional about taking a moment to stop in your day and celebrate a win or a thing to be grateful for. There is always one thing.

The second one has been noticing in tbV’s Facebook feed this last week or two what has felt like an intentional daily or close-to-daily moment of ‘Today i am grateful for…’ and usually a list of two to seven things that she has gratitude for on this particular day. i have found this so encouraging and it spurs me to consider my own list every time.

Regret is such a useless emotion/feeling/state because it accomplishes nothing except making you feel like a tit. And i don’t know anyone who enjoys that feeling particularly. So rather replace it with celebration and gratitude, even just of the small things that are worth celebrating and you might be amazed at how the bigger picture starts to be affected as well.

What will you celebrate tonight as your head hits the pillow? Take a minute and share one thing below in the comments that you are grateful for. Let it start here.