Tag Archive: good friends


white

Let’s face it, most of us are going to be late occasionally. But it’s when you make it a consistent habit that it becomes annoying and it is another character trait that can really affect a friendship. Especially if you do it enough that you become known as ‘that guy/that girl’.

[And it might be important to throw in a cultural disclaimer here cos this is definitely a very western time-focused mindset to have and other cultures have different ways of viewing time which are not worse just because they are not mine so that would be an interesting conversation to have – any thoughts on time?]

But going back to those who know and understand the cultural norm and continue to disregard it. STOPPIT! i imagine a lot of people are unaware that they are doing it or just don’t care enough to make a change.

And at the very least you can send a text or a call to let the people know you are running late – especially when it’s a movie or a function and people might be waiting for you to start. It is just a lot of rudeness to know that you are running late and not inform the person organising the event and your lateness affects their plans.

This is something Cape Town people seem to be particularly bad at. We really have to get better. It can be incredibly frustrating.

late

CALL ME MAYBE

A little p.s on this one for all the Facebookers out there. While Facebook Event ‘Yesses’ are definitely far from being a complete science, it would be a lot more helpful if we could become more honest with our responses.

The way i interpret a Facebook event “Yes” is as a maybe and a “Maybe” is definitely a no. It would be helpful if we just say what we mean. No one is going to lose a friendship over you saying ‘No’ to their event – they have invited 100 people and probably won’t even notice. But when you “maybe” it gives hope, and when you “yes” it gives expectation and so rather just stick to your actual anticipated answer to make things that little bit easier for those trying to run an event.

If i accidentally invited you to an event forgetting you are currently in another country, your “yes” really is unhelpful.

This is quite an easy one to change all around – being late is usually solved through a bit of pre-planning or organisation of the day in advance. And being more accurate on Facebook events feels like a no brainer.

What about you? What bad habits do people have that make it hard for you to be friends with them? Share them in the comments.

maybe

[For other bad habits that people have which make them less than stellar friends, click here]

so i’ve devised this friend test that goes like this:

brett and bob are friends. brett hurts bob (says something out of line, scratches his car, steals his girlfriend, whateva).
bob stops being brett’s friend.

question 1: was bob really brett’s friend? or was he just hanging around while thing were easy and it made him feel good about himself? if the moment something goes wrong, bob disappears, starts ignoring brett, starts bad-mouthing brett, whateva, were they ever really friends, or was it something else… something convenient?

if i think of my three best guy friends, at least two of them i have done enuff stuff to (always unintentionally, you never set out to hurt your best friend) give them ample reason to walk away, or give up on me, or move on… yet they haven’t… that’s one of the reasons that tells me they are really good friends…

what about me? am i a good friend? how much stuff do i put up with before simply disowning or disregarding or moving on to the next friend? do i fight for my friendships? do i refuse to simply let the other person walk away? or do i continue to make it more about me and less about them?

what about you? have you finished sulking yet and gotten over yourself and chosen against the pride (and self-preservation and ego and needing to be right and and and) and gone out to restore that friendship?

or are you a bob?

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