unseen Brett Andy IX to vote for…

So today i was on a semi long-distance trip and penned a couple of new brett andy’s – usually i try them out on facebook/twitter first before i see what people really like, but these have never been viewed before and so i would really appreciate it if you would take a minute to mention if any of them make you smile or laugh or silently chortle…

“As I finished sewing up the incision, there was a moment of panic as I thought I’d left the scalpel inside Mr Jenkins. Then a wave of relief swept over me as I remembered that I’m not a surgeon, I’m the janitor.” [Brett Andy]

“I dressed up as a skeleton for Halloween, but then ended up staying at home cos I had no body to go with me.” [Brett Andy]

“As the news came to me that I’d been given the death penalty, I thought to myself, “These new soccer rules are becoming a little extreme.” [Brett Andy]

“ “I’m Thor!” He shouted again. But no-one seemed to be paying much attention. Curse that wretched lisp!” [Brett Andy]

“I’ve always wondered if it is white with black stripes, or black with white stripes. Which was pretty strange because I was looking at a giraffe at the time.” [Brett Andy]

“ “Out, Out, damned spot!” cried Lady Macbeth. But still the mutt refused to budge.” [Brett Andy]

“ “2B or not 2B?” pondered Hamlet, as he contemplated his opening move in Battleships.” [Brett Andy]

“After watching the cricket for five days, I thought, “I’ve got to get me a more interesting bug.” [Brett Andy]

“My wife asked me to turn the kettle on, so I looked at it and said, “Hey baby. How you doin?” [Brett Andy]

“That’s the last time I play Blackjack with Mike Tyson.”

botswanan reflection: the animals

so the beautiful val and i just got back from a rad and timely botswana trip with good friends dreadlock mike and nancy the twin and also some friends of theirs (brent, zeldy, norm and kate) and have some incredible memories of a stunning, stunning place

we were really spoilt with the animal sightings – elephant (including the smallest baby elephants i have ever seen), giraffe, wildebeest (including the lesser known pussybeest and the lonely Nigel-no-friends who was always wondering around by himself while the rest of the herd was sneaking away over the hill somewhere), warthog, eland, kudu, impala, steenbok, ostrich, hyena, jackal (and very cute baby jackal who resemble paris hilton’s handbag dog), spring hare (which is a very boring name for the nocturnal cross between a rabbit and a kangaroo and one of the highlights of our frequent nite drives), zebra and tortoise, not to mention lion and cubs (which we got to see from uber uber close as they rested under a thick bush after a recent kill)

one of the highlights for me was seeing a jackal run past our vehicle with the complete head and neck of an impala hanging out of its mouth – nature in full 3D action…

armed with Gerrie the ranger (who can identify an animal at night purely by seeing the colour of the eyes shining back from the spotlight sweep across the bushes) we got to do early morning, mid-afternoon, sundowner and late nite drives and every day would see a new animal or new animal experience which we had not seen before (vultures – and friends – circling a dead hyena, elephants taking a mud bath, a jackal family with some very young pups, an empty tortoise shell) and just really soak up the beauty – and very green – that is botswana, or the part of it in the south-east that we were in anyways…