i am thankx-filled for my friends…

this week is Thanksgiving which is a fairly alien celebration to us as South Africans…

but as South Africans living in Americaland, this is now the third time we will be celebrating it and so it has begun to find a special place in our hearts…

and with a focus on giving thanks, who can go wrong? [don’t mention black friday or cyber monday and we may get out of this alive]

there is so much in my life i have to give thanks for [and that is even in the midst of a time that has been a little bit of a struggle for me in various ways] and it would take a hundred blog posts to even start denting that [don’t worry, this is not the start of a 100 part series]

but tonite i hung out with two guys who graciously invited me onto their most fun radio podcast and the show ended with my new friend Jacob asking Josiah [aka Tea-man] and myself one thing we were grateful for…

and i spoke a little bit about friends. and yes, there was an obvious side reference to the tv series and could we BE any more thankful [and how one day Matt Perry will respond to me on Twitter – how about it Matt? love your work!] but one of the things i am always most grateful for in my life is the many [and your mind would be blown if you had any idea how many] meaningful friends i have in and around my life.

the kind of friends i spoke about in particular are those whose friendship is so deep and powerful [through quality over quantity of time spent together] that you can see them once a year or even once every three years and it’s like you’ve been spending time with them daily for the last year – you just pick up exactly where you left off… you got anyone like that? take a moment and picture them. pick up your phone, open your Twitter, grab a pen and paper and LET THEM KNOW!!! those are such special friendships.

i spoke of my friends Debbie and Barry Autwick from KZN in South Africa who surprised us a week before flying over here with the news they were coming and we got to hang with them for two days and just laughed so much [it was him!] and learned great new bands to listen to [Bastille] and discovered addictive happiness-making videos [What the Fox says and other music videos by Ylvis – have you checked out their ‘Flight of the Conchords’esque ‘The Cabin’?] and spoke about life and God and truth and laughed some more [did i mention they topped up my supply of Nachtmusiek and Milo?] Oh man, such good times and i have seen them a maximum of one to three days per year or less over the last five to ten years…

i thought of our new friends Steve Graybill and Helene Scalliet who we met pretty much in passing during our time at the Simple Way but stayed in contact with online and so our friendship has largely grown as we’ve shared ideas and read each others blogs and followed the activity and thought and heart of the other online and just such quality people who planned a trip to come visit us a few weeks ago [and yes they had other friends in the neighborhood but after less than a week in total of relationship they chose to fly across the country and spend some days at our place] and we laughed and spoke and got to know each other and were challenged and prayer walked and it was amazing – and the other day when i was feeling particularly low i go online and there is a mail from Steve that was just so encouraging and real and loving that it lifted me right up.

and i could go on for a long, long time. but the point is realising [which i do often] and being grateful for [which i am all the time] and then trying to be more regular in the letting them know just how much they mean to you [which i try to do, but probably fail horribly at simply because there are so many of them in my life]

so many of those friends are the ones who pooled their resources together and gave generously [and are giving] so that we could be first at the Simple Way [in terms of flights] and now here [in terms of flights and monthly support] and they are not all people that have a lot, but what they have they share. we are blown away by the generosity constantly shown to us.

so this week [and beyond] i want to take the time to say thank you to my friends – i hope that they know – and i hope i will get better at telling them…

what about you? is there someone in your life you need to let know how much you care about them or appreciate them or what they meant to you? if anyone wants to share a story of a good friend like i’ve shared here, i would love to read those – one story of one friend you have who means a lot to you… and go.

back to your future: Part Re-establish contact

‘We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?’ asked Piglet.
Even longer,’ Pooh answered.’

[A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh]

there is just so much good stuff to be taken from looking backwards in life if we are using it to help us move forwards well and that is what this continuing series is about…

this one is a little bit similiar to the one i did on People Gratitude [taking time to be grateful for the people who have poured into your life] but taking it a step further…

i firmly appreciate the idea of ‘seasons’ – that some people and situations are in our life simply for a time period and then we or they move on and how that can be okay… i was strongly reminded about this recently when two good friends of mine from South Africa, Debbie and Barry Austwick, came to visit for three nights and we just completely reconnected [as if we’d lived together for three years solidly, or maybe more accurately as if we HADN’T lived together for three years solidly – ha ha, one of those for sure] as if no time had passed and we laughed so much and had great and deep conversations about important things and it was such an injection of life into me.

and while i don’t think it’s important or good or needed to reconnect with everyone in your life who has been in your life for a season, i do think it can be so helpful and encouraging and life-giving [especially if you shared a good time together]

i remember a certain camp a whole bunch of us used to go on with a whole bunch of people from a certain demonisation, um denomination, and there would be a bunch of okes who would get together and absolutely celebrate the past, reliving the highlights, telling funny stories, remembering close encounters and just completely adding life to each other and good times. then there were others who would get together and moan about all the bad times and the organisation they had been part of and how it had messed up their lives and how badly they’d been treated and so on and it was just so negative and soul-destroying in some senses…

two different groups of people getting together and telling stories, but just completely different experiences – one bringing back the good and reliving and celebrating, the other bringing back anger and bitterness and fueling fires that should have been long forgotten or allowed to burn out. and probably a bunch of us who were stuck somewhere in the middle but hopefully with the good stories and life-givingness outweighing the bad.

“Why did you do all this for me?’ he asked. ‘I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.’ ‘You have been my friend,’ replied Charlotte. ‘That in itself is a tremendous thing.”
[E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web]

so i want to encourage you to think back and see if there is someone who used to be part of a good time in your life [maybe it was a youth group or a missions trip, maybe it was a grade at school or a class at varsity or a job you worked on together or a hundred other possibilities. if they’re nearby, call them up and invite them to go and grab a drink with you. if they’re further away why not set up a Skype call or plan a trip and chance to hang out? [Some Skype calls i have had in the last three years while being in Americaland with good mates and family back home have been such a much needed boost at times]

you can’t relive all of the past, and you shouldn’t. but it doesn’t hurt [and can sometimes help a lot] to organise a meal with a friend or a reunion of mates or to simply reconnect over the phone.

do it! 

and then come back here and tell me how it went…

‘For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.’ [ Judy Garland]

This is just the smallest glimpse of some of the moments of memory creation – my photo collection and patience is too small to come close to inserting literally hundreds of people who should be in here as people i share some of these memories with. thank you to all of you who have been a part of these and other memorables.

[To return to the beginning of this series on looking back to move forwards well, click here]

Awkward ‘Family’ photo wedding pic with adopted son Dreadlocked Kev

back to your future – part People Gratitude

“We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.”  [John F. Kennedy]

we can often fall into the habit of thinking of the past with a negative light in terms of missed opportunities or  things done to us or perhaps people we might have hurt or disappointed or maybe baggage we carry from broken relationships. This stuff can really weigh us down and also cause a lot of damage to our present and future and so i believe it is really helpful to take a look backwards in a positive light and see if there is anything we can or need to do, to help us live more fully now and beyond.

i think a great next thing to take a look at is the idea of people gratitude – Remembering those people who poured into your life and helped shape you into the person you have become today.

‘Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” [A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh]

if i had to start naming names on this one i would be busy for a very long time, and i would no doubt leave a lot of people out and possibly make someone sad… but there are just so many people who i am grateful to have had in my life for shorter or longer periods of time. people who took chances on me and gave me opportunities, people who defended me, often without me even knowing it, before others who criticised or judged or wanted to take me down in some way… those who took time to really listen to me and hear me, those who wrestled with me [metaphorically, for the most part] who held opposing ideas but who never allowed that to affect the love or friendship between us… those who were completely generous to me in a thousand different ways [and now to me and the beautiful Val]… and all those who are currently pouring money and prayer and encouragement into this part of our journey in Americaland… those who were brave enough to call me on stuff [especially those who managed to do it in such a way that the love still was recognisable] who probably deserve a double portion of gratitude and some form of danger pay for the risk-taking…

to all these people i am grateful. and i try to find opportunities to express that gratitude in a variety of different ways, and know that i can and should do better in this area.

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” [Marcel Proust]

what about you? take a moment to think about some people who have made significant contributions to you life – those who made you feel good, those who comforted you or simply listened or were there when times were tough, and those who risked saying difficult things you really needed to hear and hopefully listened to.

when last did you write someone a note, give someone a call or simply drop them a text to say ‘Thank-you for…’ 

why not take a few minutes now to do that… and then try and work it in regularly into your weekly schedule – start cultivating a rhythm of gratitude

“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.” [Elizabeth Gilbert]

[To continue to the next part which looks at learning from your past, click here]

Funniester Friends clip ever… ‘Sir, this is a family store…’

Ah man, it seems i panic’d when i shared the last clip from Friends which is probably my SECOND favourite clip ever – I did at least reference this one with the ‘Stretchy pants’ line which has always been my favourite one liner by my favourite guy [Chandler] from friends, but watching this clip again, it just has so many great moments from Chandlers: “I’m up, I’m up, I’ve…gotten…up” to Ross: “Don’t stare directly at it.” Chandler: Like an eclipse? to Joey’s just bursting into laughter…

Anyways, you should watch it… it is my favourite episode minus the Monica/Richard seriousness because it is also the one where Rachel gets Joey to read ‘The Shining’ by Stephen King and ends with him putting it in the freezer so no-one will get hurt… Friends at the height of their powers… but especially the STRETCHY PANTS, EVERY DAY EVERY DAY which i break into from time to time…

And of course Ross’ face after this little exchange:

Chandler: You can’t go up to a guy you hardly know and say something about his stuff

Ross: He’s right. Even if it’s to say something complementary.

And then Gunther just seals the deal with his closing line…

Favourite Friends clip ever?

I love Friends. It is one of my favourite series of all time and while there are a lot of classic moments [i’m thinking teeth whitening, the Holiday Armadillo and Rachel Phoebe-running into a horse as some that fly to mind] and amazing one liners [“Stretchy Pants? Well those are the greatest things in the world. If I were you I’d wear them every day EVERY DAY!”] I would say that this scene [plus the following scene in the hospital – May?Tember?] is the funniest scene of all:

How about you? What is your favourite scene on Friends? Hunt it down and add it in the comments section so we can appreciate it all over again..

[Oh, wait I found it – this has actually got to be my funniest ever… so so good]

Words i like: Part ‘Uber’

I am a person who enjoys words as I have shown with my dispositions [another word that is quite fun] on both the word ‘Intentional’ and the word ‘Interdependence’ 

And I’m not just talking simply about nice sounding words here like ‘cognac’, ‘rambunctious’ or ‘superfluous’, but words  with meanings attached that as a concept are particularly attractive.

Oh wait, this time i’m just talking about a nice sounding and let’s be honest fun word… and that is the word UBER which is meant to have an umlaut [yes!] on the U but i get worried that it just gets transformed into a big giant smiley face U and then the rest of the word will feel neglected so i tend to mostly spell it without. [and more mostly because i have no idea how to make an umlaut happen on any form of technology apart from the Pictionary pad where i quickly get disqualified because “it’s a symbol”]

And I’m not sure i use it properly because, as most of you will know, wikipedia informs me that it is a cognate of both Latin super and Greek ὑπέρ. You know, a COGNATE!!!

i just like to use it to express that something is a lot. so on your birthday i might say have an uber amazing day [which means ‘have a lot of an amazing day’] or i like that ‘uberly much’ [which means ‘i like that a lot of a lot’] and, you get the picture… and of course it sounds so foreign so maybe it’s the secret word snob within me trying to be part of the fun.

I don’t feel I’m too far away in this case as wikipedia continues by mentioning that, ‘In German, über is used as a prefix as well as a word in its own right. Both uses indicate a state or action involving increased elevation or quantity in the physical sense, or superiority or excess in the abstract.’

Oh look, good on you wikipedia, you even gave it its umlaut right there.

What words do you find fun?

[To see another word that I really like – Intentional – click here]

Pastis before Swine…

so yesterday i got to meet Stephan Pastis, creator and draw’er [i guess] of the greatest cartoon strip alive, Pearls Before Swine… [more importantly, he got to ‘meet’ No_bob, the world’s most famous stuffed dolphin]

The Far Side, on it’s good days [and when it was good it was great, and it was usually good] is definitely up there.

so is Dilbert [Scott Adams who draws Dilbert got me started on Pearls Before Swine and i never looked back, don’t tell him, sh! no seriously cos i used to buy a bunch of Dilbert annuals and now i exclusively buy all of the Pearls books] and Garfield… but with less good days less often… and then Calvin and Hobbes was also definitely up there.

but for some reason, i have come to settle on Pearls. for the moment anyways [or the last ten or so]. i love the characters he comes up with [from innocent stupid Pig to cynical mean and despotic Rat to the ‘outrageously stoopid’ crocs and the exasperated ‘zeebas’ they are constantly trying to eat to the many lesser known or occasional characters such as guard duck Duck [usually seen holding a bazooka] and Andy the god with big plans for his life that are constantly thwarted by the post he is chained up to in his yard, and to the ridiculously silly such as Pastis himself reminded us, Pig’s ‘sea anenome enemy’.

i love the humour – cynical, witty, overly and obviously corny ad punderful on occasion [oh Pastis works for those puns] – the fact that he is the only cartoonist who features himself regularly in his own cartoons and usually about to be ‘taken out’ by Rat for another dreadful pun – the way he is able to laugh at himself, with himself, at us and with others and sometimes all at once.

yes, there is an occasional miss, but even like episodes of Friends, the bad ones are better than most of the good ones of most other stuff. [‘Friends’ is now ‘Parks and Rec’]

i dunno. it’s really hard to say why and do it any justice, i think there is a element of loyalty as i was one of the ones who ‘discovered’ him early on via Scott Adams blogging about him and i am so glad i did – has brought me much fun – and feels like i’ve been on this journey with him from close to the beginning.

[he still hasn’t agreed to create a stuffed dolphin character called ‘No_bob’ who doesn’t in his strip yet, but i think he’s just playing with me… and that the more people who emailed pearlscomic@gmail.com and suggested he do so, the sooner it would likely take place!]

anyways, i was perusing Twitter and saw that Stephan was going to be doing a book signing about an hour away and told tbV and she said we should go and so we headed out. i was expecting it to be a little awkward and stalkery i guess but he gave a brilliant and funny presentation and then he sat and working his way through 100 plus people in a line [i was 46!] posing for photos, drawing a character in each book and engaging in a little bit of small talk with each person. i was really impressed [and i think tbV was too cos she came home and grabbed an old annual and started reading!]. it doesn’t take a lot of effort to not be a jerk and Mr Pastis didn’t do so admirably.

Catch the daily strip here…