Tag Archive: family


family

In Mark 3 verse 31 to 35 we see a very interesting dialogue take place as Jesus is informed that His family is waiting outside for Him…

what does this mean for us? check it out here.

to move to the next story of the sower and the seed, click here.

My husband mike and I decided to start a family at the beginning of last year and so I went off contraception and we started trying. We assumed it would be quick and easy, because we have only heard stories of people falling pregnant quickly – even in the first or second month, and with no complications. And so the first month or two we weren’t worried, we enjoyed the excitement of getting ready to become a family and waiting to see whether or not my period would come. But after six months I started to feel down. I was seeing pregnant women and babies EVERYWHERE, friends who weren’t even sure if they wanted babies yet were falling pregnant, and we were waiting. And waiting. And waiting. I felt more pressure to get it right, more pressure to succeed, but I didn’t know how to do it any better. And so we would try and inevitably fail month after month. I couldn’t understand how God could allow me to struggle with this when he knew how much I wanted to be a mother and how Mike and I longed for a family. I had to do a lot of soul searching (why do I want to be a mother so bad? If I never fall pregnant will I still love God? Do I trust God with the plans for my life?), and often I would spend worship time at church crying, willing myself to believe the words people sang with abandon. God is faithful, He is true, He fulfills his promises, He gives and takes away. For the first time in my life I had to ask myself if I REALLY believed that.

Before this time Mike and I had always talked about adopting, and after a year of trying for a baby the niggles in my brain (what about adoption?) became more persistent. We went to the gynaecologist to see that everything was all right and found out I have polycystic ovaries which means that we are not sure of when my egg is released and it is therefore harder to conceive because we do not know when I’m ovulating. This does not mean I can’t fall pregnant, but it does mean that it can take longer than normal. My gynae then gave us the option; keep trying naturally or go on medication to assist us. What a blow to my self-esteem! You keep thinking “what if I’m the reason we are not falling pregnant?” And then you find out – it is you, there is something wrong with your body. I felt so guilty, felt to blame in some part for the reason why we had ‘wasted’ a year trying for a baby. I had to come to terms with the fact that I could not control a hormonal imbalance in my body, and that it wasn’t my fault. That God loved me through this all, and that this was a blessing in disguise because by knowing what was wrong we could go ahead.

It was at this point that Mike reminded me again of our wish to adopt at some stage in life. We could keep trying and use medication to help, but if we were serious about adoption, why not go ahead with it now? We could try to conceive a sibling at a later stage because we now knew the obstacles we faced. And so, in March this year, we spent a weekend away talking, praying, crying (ok, that was mostly me) and setting aside all our doubts. We asked the questions that had been casting shadows in our minds: What if we don’t love them as much as a biological child? What if nature is stronger than nurture? What if our family or friends don’t support us? What if, what if, what if? But with every fear said in the open, peace descended and we realized that although a little bit of fear is good, we serve a God who can overcome every obstacle and redeem every situation. And so, petrified and excited, we made the decision to adopt.

And since that moment a lightness has fallen over me. I feel that the year of trying that we went through was a journey I had to take to grow in the knowledge of God and in trusting His ultimate plan for me. I believe that if we had adopted last year we would not have been given the baby God has in store for us, for they were not born yet! I believe that the pain I felt has been redeemed with hope, and I understand with a peace that transcends understanding that this is my journey. I am a mother, and my child is on its way. It’s just in someone else’s stomach. And I cannot wait to be a Mom. I absolutely love and adore my child. I don’t know what they look like or where they come from, but I cannot wait to find out who they are and to shower them with kisses and cuddles. And so, after finishing our screening through our adoption agency, we wait. And we get ready to start the next chapter in our lives together – Mom and Dad!

[Jane and Mike Hampton]

[To jump forward two years and hear some words from Jane and Mike since adopting, click here]

and that ‘c’ stands for ‘creativity’ – so whether it is a way of celebrating family or looking after someone who is seen as a ‘the least of these’ let us be looking for ways to go beyond the typical commercial aspects of the season…

and send your ideas of stuff done or stuff plotting to be done to brettfish@hotmail.com:

Pete and Bev Brodrick:

Remembrance Lunch:

A second family gathering for a celebration lunch/dinner with the table set, decorations, communion elements and yes all the party ra-ra stuff.

We have communion together as a family, remembering Jesus birth, life and death. A set occasion for us to gather as a family and bring our lives back to the foot of the cross in worship and prayer. We then celebrate with a feast and treats! We have this Remembrance lunch every 3 months (March/April, June, September & December) so one just happens to co-incide at this time.

and that ‘c’ stands for ‘creativity’ – moving beyond spending a bunch of money you can’t afford on a bunch of stuff no-one needs [and often doesn’t even want] because of some kind of misplaced notion that it is ‘showing love’ when there are people you know, or live near, or try to ignore, who are likely to be having a very miserable holiday time and your act of creativity in the form of generosity or genuine love could make a world of difference…

so be challenged and if you have a creative idea to share here please do, because so far i have two from my friends bev and pete and that’s it – share stories with me [brettfish@hotmail.com] of what you’ve done in the past or are plotting to do:

Bev and Pete Brodrick: “As briefly mentioned, our family has developed some alternate traditions for this time of year.

We love the fact that there is just so much more opportunity to give in December. The list is endless and everyone seems to be more generous over this time. Wahoo.

Our family has 2 major events. Both events we will try to invite people that we may not see as often and open up our table for those who may have no where to go.

End of Year family celebration:

A family gathering, lunch or dinner, with a theme, decorations, set table and party ra-ra stuff.

In preparation for this event we think back over the year and remember all those that we appreciate. We send cards and give gifts in thanks and in love. Whether that is a close friend or a grocery store staff member who has helped carry groceries to the car, more times than we can count.

On the day, our family will spend time affirming one another and reading out the things that we appreciate about each other and we give each other an appreciation gift. We then celebrate with a family feast and treats!

[to be continued…]

so i was at the beach yesterday which i really don’t do enough and was actually in the water (ditto) which was amazingly warm (or maybe amazingly warm for cape town beach water – i am not really a swimmer type person usually because i find the water too cold but here i had to be in to watch the kids and it was surprisingly not that bad) and i started to watch people

i love watching people – not in a hunt-them-down-later-and-leave-disturbing-messages-made-out-of-letters-cut-out-of-magazines-and-the-newspaper kind of way – but just seeing how people (who don’t know they’re being watched) behave or look or speak

and it was great. firstly there were these three young and little girls who were having an absolute blast in the waves near us and just seemed absolutely content and happy and vibing with each other and laughing a lot.

then there was a very young and little dude who was trying to catch a wave on his surfboard and just wasn’t able to stand and as he went past me i said to him “so close dude” and he responded “yeah and so far” and i gave him a bit of a Robin-Williams-in-Dead-Poets-Society-and-Good-Morning-Vietnam-type pep speech about how he could make it and how he shouldn’t give up and so on and he went off and the very next wave… he tried to stand up… and didn’t… but i think he didn’t stand up a LOT better than before I’d given him the talk…

watching him a little bit more and first picked up his mom in a full wet suite surfing near him and helping take him out over the waves to get to a good spot to try again, and then his dad also full wet suit, also surfing and i thort, “wow, that is so super uber cool” cos you know what they say, ‘the family who surfs together… um… something something together’ or something like that, but it was great to see this family, obviously loving each other and loving hanging out together doing stuff

then there were these two guys walking along the beach together, obviously friends. the one guy had no neck whatsoever, you know, one of those head-almost-directly-on-the-shoulders type guys, and as i noticed that i looked across at his friend and noticed that he had almost too much neck, and so it was quite an interesting combination of neck and no-neck walking down the beach together – how about sharing some with your friend, neck!

and then there was thug body boarder. now i know you can’t call someone ‘thug’ not in a bad way but i really don’t mean it in a bad way. if this guy was in a british football movie he would be in the credits as ‘football hooligan #4’ or something like that – just looked like a bit of a bruiser, big oke, well built, huge tattoo down his forearm and kinda thuggish… which is relevant, cos if i just said a big guy on a body board then it loses momentum. cos i watched him catch a wave and ride it for a long while and he had the biggest most contentable smile on his face, the kind of smile that only an 8 year old can have when he eyes ice-cream or the parents of a toddler when he finally poos in the pottie you know. It was incredible – this dude was absolutely enjoying himself to the extreme

and obviously a bunch of other people but those stood out. and of course the ten kids we had brought to the beach from kayamandi (the K) who were having an absolutable blast. brilliant just watching these kids come to life and just completely thrive in the water.

i love watching people. guessing who they are and what they’re about. watching interaction between people who really care about each other (and there are a lot of those on the beach – maybe those who don’t care enough stay away from the beach a lot more) and just seeing the absolute power of love in action.

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