actually it IS the end of the world [as we know it]

as depicted so well in my previous post by Stephan Pastis of Pearls Before Swine cartoon fame, R.E.M. had something when they came up with their hit song that 73% of people know the two words “Leonard Bernstein” [but is it pronounced Steen or Styn? another mystery] to – It’s the end of the world as we know it.

with Australia and Americaland being on different days for a huge portion of any 24 hour period, it was always going to be a bit of a feat for the Apocalypse to arrive on precisely one calendar day only and presumably by the time your Australian friend stopped replying to your frenetic “are we there yet?” “are we there yet?” “are we there yet?” messages, you probably wouldn’t even have time to reach for your closest can of beans.

and so, no, the world hasn’t ended.

but it has ended as we know it. in fact it does that every day. unless there was some way for it to be completely frozen in every possible manner of time, energy and space, the day we wake up to is not the day we left behind. the world has changed. and more importantly our world has changed.

the question we have to ask ourselves [well maybe ‘have’ is a strong word cos i imagine most people don’t] is, ‘Is the world a better place today because of how i lived yesterday?’ and the more relevant question of ‘Will the world be a better place tomorrow because of how i choose to live today?’

this is a question of selflessness, service and Love vs. ego, pride and selfishness

it’s a question of community, congregation and fellowship vs. individualism, materialism and consumption

and it is a question of how am i involved in reaching out to those who are marginalised and lonely, considered by the world to be ‘the least of these’?

Jesus seemed to have a very strong opinion on that… and so if you call yourself a Jesus follower, this is quite probably something you should take note of:

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

“Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

[Matthew 25.31-46]

i guess, the question is, as far as you are concerned… it is the end of the world, as you know it. do you feel fine?

it’s the end of the world as we [me, R.E.M. and Stephan Pastis] know it…

turns out the Mayans were wrong. or the apocalypse is working on African time. or we were wrong in predicting that just cos the Mayans didn’t carve a stone big enough to fit more days on that it meant the end of the world [were they maybe just trying to get us all to buy the next stone, hm?] but whichever one it was, i figured this was a great moment to whip out one of my favourite Stephan Pastis ‘Pearls Before Swine’ cartoon moments – favourite because it is true [don’t pretend you know more!]:

[And if you enjoyed that one then I’m pretty sure you will love Pearls Before Swine’s take on intimate relationships through the eyes of poor stupid innocent little pig as seen at the end of this post on relationships over here]

Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect: The Collection

hi, my name are Brad Fish and i like to make videos to can have warn you of things you may not have previously been warned about and so i have came up with a series what are called  ‘Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect’ – these are full of the education and should be passed on to your friends and family and even maybe those who are only a little bit of your enemy so that they can have be protected too:

the one that started it all – episode one – PAPER

episode two warns about the dangers of ICE-CREAM

episode three was all about SARCASM, or more correctly sar-chasm!

episode four saw the first request which was ironically ‘REQUESTS’ seen as quite full of danger

episode five, which has been shown in at least three different schools [mostly in Pretoria] and specifically their English classes was on the topic of PUNCTUATION

episode six, another request, and this time on the unseen hazards linked to WOOL

and finally [so far] another two for the English classrooms perhaps, this episode on the CLITCHY or as they say in France, the Cliche’

and ‘THE CLITCHY: PART DEUX’ or ‘REVENGE OF THE CLITCHY’ – first time we have attemped a part too.

An episode of SOMETIMESDLY DANGEROUS THINGS You Can Least Expect covering things that sometimes can be safe and other times can be dangerful.

episode 10 warned us about just some of the many dangers one can find within ART

episode 11 warned us about the inherent dangers associated with PROCRASTINATION, or it would have if i had gotten round to it

episode 12, which was designed for a friend and good fan’s tut class was dedicated to the pretty obvious calamities found within STRESS

episode 13 warned us about BLOCKS with the ever popular danger item of Lego receiving a second look in

episode 14 showed why FRIENDSHIP, surely a never dangerous thing, could indeed be many kinds of dangerful

and then episode 15, maybe a slightly more less expected one, detailed some very ponderous aspects of CAMPING as a dangerous thing which may or may not cause the end of the world today, no tomorrow, no in October!

surprisingly Episode 16 appears to be a DTYCLE about BACON – are there any dangers associated with bacon? how could this be?…

Episode 17 are about BIRTHDAYS – a dangerous thing what can happen to you mostly once a year

Episode 18 were about raiSINS – can’t believe it took me to long to warn people about these – probably cos it are more obvious

Episode 19 were also about raiSINS cos there are so much dangers to warn about these little things of horrible pukeness

Episode 20 were about the US ELECTIONS [with an L] that have taken place while i were over in Americaland

Episode 21 were MY BEST ONE SO FAR and deals with the dangers what can be associated with VIOLiNS [and the need for more SAX]

Episode 22 have deal with FLYING and why it are wright to fear that

Episode 23 have been on CARROT CAKE, another Dangerous Thing You Can Least have expected to eat.

Episode 24 helped explain to us that WHAT THE FOX SAYS might be incredibly Dangerful to us.

Episode 25 took a look at WEDDING TITLES, because you know what trouble those can cause.

Episode 26 informed us that SCOTLAND itself is a Dangerous Thing not to be messed with.

it is the links and comments and shares and likes and commentary that get more people seeing these and sharing them further so thank-you if you have been one of the people doing that and if you haven’t then feel free to start. but ONLY if they make you laugh, giggle, smile or liquid-shoot – if you hate them, you wouldn’t have read down to here.

why camping is not better than Jesus

aka ‘the boy who cried wolfpocalypse’

as i sat in theatresports [improv comedy group i belong to] class last nite and people were joking about the whole rapture thing or lack of thing, it was a little frustrating to see how christians [to be seriously not confused with Christ-followers though] had once again managed to give the group a bad name… a laugh-out-loud point-and-mock bad name…

but this time it was a truly ridiculous premise – Harold Camping, a California preacher and registered loony toon claimed that the rapture would occur May 21, 2011 and that the world would be obliterated by a fireball October 21 [he is now claiming that he made a mistake – again, as he had predicted the end of the world in 1994 – and that the correct date is October 21 for the rapture – however he also says that he won’t give away any of his possessions before October 21] and was left hiding out in a motel with his wife when nothing happened…

it’s not so much that he ‘just made a mistake’ – he was never even in the same playing fields as someone who could have possibly gotten it right…

in Matthew 24.36 Jesus says this, “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”

so basically Jesus is saying that even He doesn’t know when the end is going to happen [difficult one maybe with our Jesus is God understanding, maybe He was simply talking about while He was living on earth as a human] and so no one else will. as in the days of Noah people will be going about their stuff – eating, drinking, watching bad movies – and then suddenly Boom, or maybe Whoosh!

what makes the whole thing a lot worse is that the big kook had a bunch of little kooks:

“Follower Jeff Hopkins also spent a good deal of his own retirement savings on gas money to power his car so people would see its ominous lighted sign showcasing Camping’s May 21 warning. As the appointed day drew nearer, Hopkins started making the 100-mile round trip from Long Island to New York City twice a day, spending at least $15 on gas each trip.

“I’ve been mocked and scoffed and cursed at and I’ve been through a lot with this lighted sign on top of my car,” said Hopkins, 52, a former television producer who lives in Great River, NY. “I was doing what I’ve been instructed to do through the Bible, but now I’ve been stymied. It’s like getting slapped in the face.” [http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_apocalypse_saturday]

The only problem with saying “I was doing what I’ve been instructed to do through the Bible” is that Jeff clearly missed the part of the Bible that said ‘what you are doing is futile because no one knows the day or the hour’ and this whole story demonstrates once again that when the bible is misused or abused it can lead to good people being manipulated to do stupid things.

and the danger of ONLY receiving your feeding from someone else… if you had only just read the gospels Jeff, you would have clearly and obviously known that you were following the wrong guy… a large percentage of the church has adopted the lazy culture of being spoonfed from the front [as opposed to reading and studying and knowing scripture for yourself, at the same time as receiving scripture from others who have studied it and speak it well] and because you don’t read the Bible for yourself you have to believe whatever gets dished out to you and to misquote Helen Zille completely, “you get the biblical teaching you deserve.”

as a Christ-follower, there is one aspect of this story that we can take seriously. no, we will never know the exact day or hour, but in terms of urgency, in terms of living the life-to-the-full that Jesus spoke of, in terms of making an impact on the world and living in obedience to God and what the Bible actually says, we should live each day as if we suspect the rapture could happen today. Plan as if you’re going to live 1000 years but live as if you’re going to die tomorrow, i think someone said. Something like that.

love God, love people, take care of those in need, leave the billboarding to someone else…