a letter, from Magda Pecsenye, to her sons about stopping rape.

‘Dear Boys,

Some really horrible things happened to someone who could be one of your friends, and it was done by some people who could be your friends. You’re 11 and almost-8 now, so the incident that made me write this letter isn’t something you’ve heard about, but this stuff keeps happening, unfortunately. So I need to talk to you about it…’

with that attention-grabbing opening paragraph, Magda Pecsenye, who is the writer for the blog askmoxie.org addresses a topic that is close to my heart, with one of the most profound parenting pieces i think i have ever read. my friend who sent me the link, gave it the tagline, ‘This is so great. I wanna be a parent like THIS.’

you really should simply go to her website and read the letter in full – i messaged her and asked if i could reproduce it and she gave me permission to pull quotes from it and scribe a piece, but really you are not going to be able to get the full effect unless you head on over to her site and just read the whole thing.

Magda is clearly someone who has been open and honest with her boys from a young age [which, even as a non parent, i think is completely the way to go – my official ‘introduction to sex’ was the ‘what every boy should know about sex’ book that was left on my bed by my parents when i turned 21 if i recall correctly]. But by encouraging open talk and discussing things such as boundaries and appropriate behaviour and acknowledging when someone is saying “No!” and being okay with presenting your own “No!” in circumstances you are not feeling comfortable with, it feels like she has laid an excellent foundation for the message that follows.

she moves effortlessly from her explanation of the sex talks that have happened as her little guys have started growing towards the age of being young men [they are 8 and 11 now] to a space of really describing beautifully where the place of sex is:

‘If you’re ever in a situation in which someone is asking you for it and you don’t want to have sex with that person, don’t do it. And if you’re ever in a situation in which you want to have sex but the other person doesn’t ask you for it, don’t do it. It’s only good if you both want it, and can tell each other you want it, and are sure you both want it. Otherwise someone’s going to get hurt. And romance is weird enough without hurting other people when you can stop yourself (and you can always stop yourself–that goes along with having opposable thumbs).’

she then closes off with some words of wisdom for her two young boys because “Not everyone you know has been taught all the stuff we’ve talked about.” and ends with some instruction of how they should behave if they are in a situation where someone is hurting a girl in some way and you can check out the full list on her blog here but i wanted to highlight the second of them:

2. If it’s not safe for you to say something, leave the room quietly and calmly and call me. I do not care if you’re someplace you’re not supposed to be, or not the place you told me you were, or in Canada or someplace that would normally get you in a lot of trouble. You get immunity if you’re calling for help. My phone is always on, and it does not matter what time of day or night it is. If I don’t pick up right away, call your dad, and the same immunity rules apply. Call one of us and give us the address of where you are and we will come help. Then hang up and call 911. Tell them the address and that there’s an assault going on. They might want you to stay on the line with them until the police get there.

the bit about immunity is priceless. this is a parent who loves her kids and is training them in the way they should go [i’m sure i heard that somewhere before] and she ends off this amazing epistle by reminding them of that ad of her belief that they are really going to ‘get’ this:

We’ve been practicing to step in and help someone else. You can do it. I have faith in you.

Love,

Mom

amazing, incredible, life-changing and who knows, person-saving?

but this has just been a taste – give yourself an extra few minutes and read the whole post here and see what else this lady has to say…

a response to a nonny miss? part v: a glimpse into the why

so there was this email, and by now i think we’re all up to speed with that – this was part of it:

Brett-boy, you need to rethink how you spend your energy.
And here I’m speaking in particular about the humor side of your energy. To take an example: Brett, let’s be honest: your youtube videos suck. Big time. And I don’t even see the purpose in it. Will you really stand before the Jesus one day and when He asks you “So how did you spend your valuable time?” answer “Well, there are these youtube videos I made.”
Humor is good. But it must be part of the bigger mission.
You do many good things. Focus on that. You have limited time. You have limited energy. You have a (God-graciously-given) large audience. Use it well.

so there was kind of an almost question in there of ‘why do i make silly you tube videos?’ [and if you are completely unaware as to which you tube videos we are discussing here it is the mildly popular ‘Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect’ series of Brad Fish warning clips and i would recommend starting with the remade Paper one, or else Punctuation or the latest, and in my opinion funniest, on Violins.

there are actually a couple of reasons why i have continued to make the DTYCLE videos, altho it may have started with a lot less:

i think firstly, i want to make people laugh. i know – guilty as charged. i just think for a lot of people life is often quite tough and challenging and that a good [or even a medium] laugh is something that can help lift peoples spirits. listening to my buddy Mark laugh himself silly while watching the violins one with me just the other day was proof enough for me that the whole series has been worthwhile.

secondly, as with a lot of stuff i do, it is intentionally about building an audience. i feel like i have a message of life to the fullness that everyone in the world could do with hearing – it is the message of how living a Jesus-following life will revolutionise your life and the lives of people around you. i believe that with all my heart and desperately want others to experience the same. and so i tend to find myself doing some things that are not overtly spiritual in feel or look that might attract people towards the direction of where i will be sharing some more about that. if you enjoy a DTYCLE video then at some point you may say to yourself, ‘let’s see what else this dude has going on’ and might end up at a blog or a podcast or thought or on my facebook page. Paul, in his letter to the Corinthian church, says this – ‘I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.’ [1 Corinthians 9.21b-23] i am completely not ashamed of the ‘devious intentions’ aspect of my humour posts – if it wasn’t the best life imaginable, then maybe i’d need to think a little longer and harder about it, but i’m convinced.

so making people laugh and introducing them indirectly to the kingdom. those are probably the primary two reasons. but some more emerged as the series progressed.

family. this is not one i planned, but was a happy accident that happened along the way. my mom is from England and so although she has a brother there who had four kids [i hope i’m not forgetting anyone – David, Julie, Mark and Andrew, right?] they live so far away that we have never been in huge contact. it’s not that we don’t like them – it’s just that we never got a chance to really know them. enter DTYCLE… and for some reason my cousin David somehow got to watch one and enjoyed it and the rest is history – we have connected in far greater ways than DTYCLE and i have also gotten to connect with some of his kids through the same medium and so we have shared laughs and grown that into greater discussions and resource sharings [David is a muso and gives away his songs for free] and better opportunity to virtually get to know each other better – for that reason alone DTYCLE has been completely worth it.

education. this was definitely not planned and probably more a sense of ‘what not to do’ than the other way around, but i am aware of at least three schools [and one whole english department within one school] that used my DTYCLE Punctuation video in their English classes in an educational manner of some type. [weirdos!]

sanity. this was more a discovered one then a planned one, but towards the end of our time at The Simple Way i found that sometimes it was just good for me to do something ridiculously silly [as the DTYCLE videos are] just simply for my sanity. they provided me with an avenue to be alone for a few minutes [a completed video takes less than 20 minutes to make – three takes tops cos then i get bored] and just go a little bit lady gaga. and that was good.

 

so those are some of the main reasons that come to mind.

i guess i should end off with a word about the spiritual/secular divide cos i guess this plays into that. there has been a tendency in the church at times to divide life into those two areas – so attending a prayer meeting or singing worship is seen as ‘spiritual’ whereas having a braai with some mates or watching a movie or recording a you tube video will be seen as ‘secular’. i don’t think that’s good theology at all. Jesus calls us to follow Him with our whole lives, and when we really ‘get’ that we realise that actually everything is spiritual – a lot of christians seem to miss that one and so there can be a disconnect between calling yourself a christian and the way that you spend your time or the things you choose to post/support on facebook or the kinds of music you listen to or the way you spend your money and so on… but when we truly understand what following Jesus means in terms of denying yourself, taking up your cross daily and following Him [luke 9.23] then we realise that everything we do becomes a part of our Christ-following life.

the key is inviting God to be a part of everything you do which will mean being motivated by Love and Grace and promoting life-to-the-fullness and so i encourage you to look at different areas of your own life and see if they line up with this.

Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect: The Collection

hi, my name are Brad Fish and i like to make videos to can have warn you of things you may not have previously been warned about and so i have came up with a series what are called  ‘Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect’ – these are full of the education and should be passed on to your friends and family and even maybe those who are only a little bit of your enemy so that they can have be protected too:

the one that started it all – episode one – PAPER

episode two warns about the dangers of ICE-CREAM

episode three was all about SARCASM, or more correctly sar-chasm!

episode four saw the first request which was ironically ‘REQUESTS’ seen as quite full of danger

episode five, which has been shown in at least three different schools [mostly in Pretoria] and specifically their English classes was on the topic of PUNCTUATION

episode six, another request, and this time on the unseen hazards linked to WOOL

and finally [so far] another two for the English classrooms perhaps, this episode on the CLITCHY or as they say in France, the Cliche’

and ‘THE CLITCHY: PART DEUX’ or ‘REVENGE OF THE CLITCHY’ – first time we have attemped a part too.

An episode of SOMETIMESDLY DANGEROUS THINGS You Can Least Expect covering things that sometimes can be safe and other times can be dangerful.

episode 10 warned us about just some of the many dangers one can find within ART

episode 11 warned us about the inherent dangers associated with PROCRASTINATION, or it would have if i had gotten round to it

episode 12, which was designed for a friend and good fan’s tut class was dedicated to the pretty obvious calamities found within STRESS

episode 13 warned us about BLOCKS with the ever popular danger item of Lego receiving a second look in

episode 14 showed why FRIENDSHIP, surely a never dangerous thing, could indeed be many kinds of dangerful

and then episode 15, maybe a slightly more less expected one, detailed some very ponderous aspects of CAMPING as a dangerous thing which may or may not cause the end of the world today, no tomorrow, no in October!

surprisingly Episode 16 appears to be a DTYCLE about BACON – are there any dangers associated with bacon? how could this be?…

Episode 17 are about BIRTHDAYS – a dangerous thing what can happen to you mostly once a year

Episode 18 were about raiSINS – can’t believe it took me to long to warn people about these – probably cos it are more obvious

Episode 19 were also about raiSINS cos there are so much dangers to warn about these little things of horrible pukeness

Episode 20 were about the US ELECTIONS [with an L] that have taken place while i were over in Americaland

Episode 21 were MY BEST ONE SO FAR and deals with the dangers what can be associated with VIOLiNS [and the need for more SAX]

Episode 22 have deal with FLYING and why it are wright to fear that

Episode 23 have been on CARROT CAKE, another Dangerous Thing You Can Least have expected to eat.

Episode 24 helped explain to us that WHAT THE FOX SAYS might be incredibly Dangerful to us.

Episode 25 took a look at WEDDING TITLES, because you know what trouble those can cause.

Episode 26 informed us that SCOTLAND itself is a Dangerous Thing not to be messed with.

it is the links and comments and shares and likes and commentary that get more people seeing these and sharing them further so thank-you if you have been one of the people doing that and if you haven’t then feel free to start. but ONLY if they make you laugh, giggle, smile or liquid-shoot – if you hate them, you wouldn’t have read down to here.

Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect: The story continues…

once upon a time i developed a bad pseudo afrikaans accent and an idea for a show that would warn people about the inherent dangers lurking behind innocent-seeming things [like paper, ice-cream and screaming “Lego” when someone who is dangling you over a cliff asks what you will give them if they pull you up to safety] and a few people started really enjoying these videos and some people even started sharing them with their friends via the various social networks… there are now 9 of these official videos [and 2 or 3 non official ones that i recorded for english classes, youth groups or new friends because they had a special request – should start charging for these and making T-shirts!] and so in reverse order, here are the Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect videos from the latest one which was:

Episode 10 of DTYCLE speaks about the dangers of procrastination which lurk closeby, especially when you are meant to be doing somethi…

A slightly somewhat longer episode of DTYCLE looking at a few of the aspects related to ART as a Dangerous Thing You Can Least Expect

An episode of Sometimedly Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect covering things that sometimes can be safe and other times can be dangerful.

this two parter episode, which is one for the english classrooms i’m sure, on the Clitchy or as they say in France, the Cliche’

and ‘The Clitchy: part Deux’ or ‘Revenge of the Clitchy’ – first time we have attempted a part too.

episode six, another request, and this time on the unseen hazards linked to Wool

episode five, which has for some reason, known only to South African English teachers, actually been used as an educational tool in a number of schools [mostly in Pretoria] and specifically their English classes was on the topic of Punctuation

episode four saw the first request which was ironically ‘Requests’ seen as to be quite full of danger

episode three was all about sarcasm, or more correctly sar-chasm!

episode two warns about the dangers of Ice-cream

and finally, the one that started it all – episode one – Paper

this thing grows by people liking and commenting on You Tube and liking and sharing on Facebook and tweeting and retweeting on Twitter [and Flickering on Flicka? not sure i’m even sure what that one is] and so thank you to everyone who has done one or more of those or is about to right now…