Tag Archive: confrontation

brett is sad.

he has just read another facebook status of someone who has clearly had a dispute with a friend of theirs.

instead of going directly to that person, face to face, one on one and with much hope, love and positive anticipation seeking restoration of the friendship, and a righting of the wrong, that person has decided to air their frustration and anger publically for everyone to see.

another cringeworthy facebook status. brett reads it. brett is sad.

brett takes a sideways glance at the mirror and tries to think back on times he might have used his facebook status or twitter tweeting to take a dig at someone, for something they did to him, or perhaps even simply something he perceived was done ‘to him’ [this does not make him any happier]

but for now as an outside third party, who has absolutely no idea what the wrong that was committed was, except that someone now is a ‘bitch’ and the likelihood of that sparking a search for restored relationship feeling not altogether high, brett wrestles internally.

he wonders if there is any hope that if he addresses the issue that it will make any difference at all. what if he was to write a blog about it? surely everyone who read the blog would sit back and realise, ‘Wow, I have been that person. I have taken offence publically at someone instead of personally going to them and seeking relationship and restoration from them. Never again will I go to my Facebook or my Twitter status as the place where I vent at people who have done me wrong. From now on I will go directly to them. I will seek relationship with everything I have. I will look at myself and where I possibly have gotten it wrong and take ownership of that.’

but he’s not sure they will. brett suspects it will be the age old dilemma. the people who will read his blog and click ‘like’ and hit ‘share’ and comment favorably will be the ones who do not rush to Facebook statuses [stati?] and Twitter to air their hurts and disappointments at people. they will be the ones who, when offended, will firstly take a look inwards to see if they themselves are the cause of any of that offence; they will be the ones who approach their friends with love and the invitation to talk it out gently; they will be the very ones who didn’t need to read the blog in the first place.

restoration of relationship

the choir belts out another verse…

while the diva sits sulking in her dressing room.
outraged by the fact that the specifically requested brand of bottled water was not delivered.
that the green M & M’s outnumbered the brown ones two to one.
that the curtains are ‘that horribly garrish olive green’

so why does brett write that blog, if he knows he is preaching to the choir and that his words are drowned out by the world-is-against-me sobs of the barricaded-in-her-dressing-room songstress?

because brett is forever hopeful.
always holding on to the ‘what if’.
what if… someone were to somehow accidentally stumble across his scribbled out thoughts and see themselves reflected back and somehow hear the distinct melody of a different, better way of doing things?
what if… as a result of reading the this, someone went directly to go and erase the that and decided instead to drop a brief note into their friend’s inbox, an invitation to meet up and see if things can’t be worked out differently?

it is the ‘what if’ that compels brett to think it is worth having a go.
and so he does.

so i was going to write a blog about confrontation and how there is a serious lack of it in the church

i know this because i have been doing it for years and it has often felt like a very lonely, deserted spot to set out your picnic basket

in a church congregation situation with the majority of people feeling the same thing, but everyone too afraid to speak up, or simply too lazy, and so, ok i’ll do it again (and then half of the majority of people suddenly don’t feel that way any more, most remain silent, while some even come out suddenly for the other side)

or else in a one-on-one situation (or a lot of the time one-on-two cos it is often couples who are needing a gentle correctional word in love) everyone is happily gossipping about the situation behind the person’s (or persons’) back and yet it will usually be me who steps in and takes a hit (cos let’s be honest, no-one likes being told they are wrong and so even when it goes well and ends up positively there is still pretty much always a sense of you’re-the-bad-guy feeling or belief)

i’ve pissed off church leaders and i’ve even lost (on a few odd occasions, and they turned out to be pretty odd occasions) friends on account of choosing to fight for good in someone else’s life instead of simply burying my head in the sand ostrich-style and letting them reach out and touch the hot plate on the stove…

[and let’s be honest, i have gotten it wrong on occasion, maybe many occasions, altho my intent was always 100% good, i have erred in the way or the tone or the amount of love conveyed/received and have hopefully learnt my lessons along the way]

it’s the d.n.a. of God that says He loves you so much even as you are (dirty, broken, bruised, sinful, needy, hurting, disfunctional, a lousy reflection of Him)

but it’s also the d.n.a. of God that says He loved you so much that he refuses to leave you as you are and so He always prods and encourages and directs and creates opportunity for and grows (and a lot of the time uses people to do that) you…

‘wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses’ – proverbs 27.6

so what does that all have to do with Koran burning? (surfed the net and found three different spellings and not sure which is more accepted cos they are all everywhere)

well, if you are living on some different planet, then you are unaware of a small cult [i use the word ‘cult’ where everyone else has been using the word ‘church’ because i don’t believe their actions resemble much that is churchlike in terms of how i understand the community of Jesus followers to be] called the dove world outreach center, located in gainesville, florida, who have vowed to burn a whole bunch of Korans to mark saturday’s anniversary of the 11 september attacks as they remember the almost 3000 people killed by al-quaeda hijackers (of which a whole bunch were muslim people working in the twin towers, just by the way)

and i bet you there are people in crazy man terry jones’ ‘church’ who know that what he is planning is wrong… i’ll bet you there are friends or family members of terry jones who think what he is planning is absurd and against the “love your enemies and bless those who persecute you” mantra of Jesus…

but is there confrontation? in love? is there a wound from a friend? or are there a bunch of scared or apathetic people willing to let a potentially tragedy-enducing situation carry on, because they refuse to be the one to stand up and be counted?

the crusades… apartheid… slavery and the ku klux klan… qur’an-burning…

“All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.” [edmund burke]

speak the Truth in Love, absolutely…

…but the Truth MUST be spoken.

[post script: so in case i was too subtle, i am saying that i think this idea of burning korans is ridiculous, unloving, completely dangerous bordering on or more likely over insane and that this man calling himself a pastor, heading up what he calls a church is totally misguided and not acting in a Jesus-following way at all and should be stopped/rebuked/thrown in a padded room of some type]

[p.p.s i completely dont understand your confusion – i thort my stand was pretty direct – i even post-scripted my stand even more cos someone else felt i was being a bit waffly – i think its a dangerous ridiculous un-Jesuslike lack of love act which is going to hurt a lot of people and bring no-one any closer to God… yes?]

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