Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect: The Collection

hi, my name are Brad Fish and i like to make videos to can have warn you of things you may not have previously been warned about and so i have came up with a series what are called  ‘Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect’ – these are full of the education and should be passed on to your friends and family and even maybe those who are only a little bit of your enemy so that they can have be protected too:

the one that started it all – episode one – PAPER

episode two warns about the dangers of ICE-CREAM

episode three was all about SARCASM, or more correctly sar-chasm!

episode four saw the first request which was ironically ‘REQUESTS’ seen as quite full of danger

episode five, which has been shown in at least three different schools [mostly in Pretoria] and specifically their English classes was on the topic of PUNCTUATION

episode six, another request, and this time on the unseen hazards linked to WOOL

and finally [so far] another two for the English classrooms perhaps, this episode on the CLITCHY or as they say in France, the Cliche’

and ‘THE CLITCHY: PART DEUX’ or ‘REVENGE OF THE CLITCHY’ – first time we have attemped a part too.

An episode of SOMETIMESDLY DANGEROUS THINGS You Can Least Expect covering things that sometimes can be safe and other times can be dangerful.

episode 10 warned us about just some of the many dangers one can find within ART

episode 11 warned us about the inherent dangers associated with PROCRASTINATION, or it would have if i had gotten round to it

episode 12, which was designed for a friend and good fan’s tut class was dedicated to the pretty obvious calamities found within STRESS

episode 13 warned us about BLOCKS with the ever popular danger item of Lego receiving a second look in

episode 14 showed why FRIENDSHIP, surely a never dangerous thing, could indeed be many kinds of dangerful

and then episode 15, maybe a slightly more less expected one, detailed some very ponderous aspects of CAMPING as a dangerous thing which may or may not cause the end of the world today, no tomorrow, no in October!

surprisingly Episode 16 appears to be a DTYCLE about BACON – are there any dangers associated with bacon? how could this be?…

Episode 17 are about BIRTHDAYS – a dangerous thing what can happen to you mostly once a year

Episode 18 were about raiSINS – can’t believe it took me to long to warn people about these – probably cos it are more obvious

Episode 19 were also about raiSINS cos there are so much dangers to warn about these little things of horrible pukeness

Episode 20 were about the US ELECTIONS [with an L] that have taken place while i were over in Americaland

Episode 21 were MY BEST ONE SO FAR and deals with the dangers what can be associated with VIOLiNS [and the need for more SAX]

Episode 22 have deal with FLYING and why it are wright to fear that

Episode 23 have been on CARROT CAKE, another Dangerous Thing You Can Least have expected to eat.

Episode 24 helped explain to us that WHAT THE FOX SAYS might be incredibly Dangerful to us.

Episode 25 took a look at WEDDING TITLES, because you know what trouble those can cause.

Episode 26 informed us that SCOTLAND itself is a Dangerous Thing not to be messed with.

it is the links and comments and shares and likes and commentary that get more people seeing these and sharing them further so thank-you if you have been one of the people doing that and if you haven’t then feel free to start. but ONLY if they make you laugh, giggle, smile or liquid-shoot – if you hate them, you wouldn’t have read down to here.

Dangerous Things You Can Most Promote.

so there are now 13 videos in the ‘Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect’ series of humorousfilled warning videos highlighting average every day things that we might not have considered the potential lurking dangers thereof… the first one of these has received the most hits and is only 999333 hits away from going viral [if ‘going viral’ means a million hits] – once i achieve that then rebecca black and i can be facebook friends apparently…

but while that seems a long way off i would love to expand the audience of the shows a little and for that i need people to like and share the videos and i have divided this into two categories:

firstly, if you hate the videos and think they suck that is fine and you can read no further, thank you for your time – i would never want anyone to promote something they thought was not worth promoting and i try to do that myself…

second firstly is for those of you who love them or at least like them a bunch and i know there are at leas 15 of you but would guess closer to 100 – if you are able to post on your socialnetworking networks that this is a thing you really dig and people should check it out then some people probably will – just a share is great but if you give it a one line punt that works even better, even a simple ‘hey, check this out!’ and for that i will be muchly appreciative.

first secondly is for those who don’t particularly find them overly funny or amazing but you don’t hate them or think the world will be a worse off place for seeing them – i would completely appreciate a share with words to the effect of ‘this is something my buddy did and he finds them quite amusing’ or something like that because there is no personal buy-in but it still gets a punt

i suppose a third category would be if you are richard branson and you find them completely hilarious and would love to buy the rights to my character to advertise your range of products then call me. [altho maybe not on my virgin phone, the reception is terrible!]

this would be the link to the latest video which i think is one of the strongest and would be a good one to promote but otherwise you can go here for the whole series.

thank you for your time and energy on this – a simple click on share and a one line statement…

and if you really want to invest then commenting on the video or i guess hitting like on You Tube is also something that helps it get found…

love brett fish and No_bob but mostly brett fish cos No_bob is still not real…

Latest Danger

Two more Dangerous Things You Can Least Expect videos appeared this week:

the shortest one ever, based on procrastination and how sometimes when we are in the middle of doing something we…

and then the longest one by far on art which a lot of people have really seemed to enjoy, despite the lack of actual artworks being used in the making of this video.

and i am working on one for a varsity tut group which may well be the best one yet by far if it goes well according to plan so stay peeled… [in the eye way, not the skin way cos gross]

latest round of brett andy to vote

so if you’re new here, brett andy comments are those that i make up having been hugely inspired by the far better jack handey quotes such as:

“I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don’t want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, “What was THAT?!”” [Jack Handey]

and:

“I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best. We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he’d eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear.”

So i’m not there yet, but i’m working on it and i have a different blog where you can go and see the brett andy’s i’ve come up with so far – http://brettandy.wordpress.com – and i would love it if you can take a moment to read my last ten or so here and comment below on which are your favourite ones – any that made you smile or chuckle or even dare i say lol out loud…

“I’ve always wanted a deadly poisonous snake as a pet. That way I could hold him and chase all the neighbourhood kids and make them run away screaming. And then if he ever bit me, I could… Wait, I’m not sure I thought this all the way through.” [brett andy]

“If a tree in a forest falls on a mime, does it make a sound?” [brett andy]

“If I discovered, after years of following that cheeky little leprechaun, constantly being harassed and worn down emotionally by his relentless trickery and attempts at malicious subversion, that the prize waiting at the end of the rainbow was a pot of gouda, and not the gold I’d been expecting all those years, I think I would be sufficiently cheesed off, if you’ll excuse the language.” [Brett Andy]

“I remember the time I got bitten by a vampire. It really sucked.” [brett andy]

“Surely a much safer request would have been, “Play us a song, you’re the pianoman!” [brett andy]

“What if life goes straight to giving you the lemonade? I’m not sure we’ve been sufficiently prepared for that possiblity.” [brett andy]

“One thing Dracula really hates is being called Batman.” [brett andy]

“I just got a new virgin cellphone. It’s mostly pretty cool although it is hard to reach some of the numbers behind that tiny chastity belt.” [brett andy]

“I’d like to see Count Dracula get selected for the Transylvanian cricket team, cos I’ve always wanted to see his bat.” [brett andy]

“They described his actions as brave. But is it brave to chase down an armed gang of hoodlums with only an orange belt in karate and risk death or possible mutilation simply to retrieve an old lady’s purse. Well, I guess if you’re gonna put it like that, there might some hints of bravery one might possibly attribute to that.” [Brett Andy]

“Do you think if minutes were edible, they’d taste good enough that we’d want to go back for seconds?” [Brett Andy]

Pictionary uncovered

DoghouseDiaries brings out a new comic every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and a lot of the time they are very funny – one of my regular visits which you can go visit here. But this one they completely nailed:

when humour crosses the line it’s not a joke…

Bloomberg Businessweek is one of the publications that carries the story of comedian Gilbert Gottfriend [probly don’t recognise the name but if you’re old you would probly recognise him from the ‘The Problem Child’ movies with John Ritter as well as being the voice of Iago from the Aladdin movies] who was fired this week after Tweeting inappropriate jokes about the Japanese crisis…

‘March 14 (Bloomberg) — Aflac Inc., the biggest seller of supplemental insurance, fired comedian Gilbert Gottfried, the voice of its duck mascot in the U.S., after comments he made about tsunami victims in Japan, the firm’s biggest market.

“Gilbert’s recent comments about the crisis in Japan were lacking in humor and certainly do not represent the thoughts and feelings of anyone at Aflac,” said Michael Zuna, senior vice president and chief marketing officer, in a statement today from the Columbus, Georgia-based insurer.‘

[rest of the article here]

which i think is great! earlier this year my buddy Dunc gifted me and tbV with tickets to go and watch Jeff Dunham [the ‘Achmed the dead terrorist’ ventriloquist comedian] who we used to really enjoy. we have all his dvds and were really looking forward to the show at Grand West. If it had been easier to walk out than the place where we were seated i think i would have. Jeff spent most of the show making bitter biting comments about his ex-wife. Very very awkward and almost completely not funny, just a little bit freaky. When he mentioned that the divorce happened two years previously i could not believe it cos the way he was speaking it sounded like it had just happened. It was just completely horrible and i lost a lot of respect for him that nite.

then a good mate of ours gave us a Ricky Gervais standup comedy video which was very edgy and hectic in terms of content [altho very funny for the most part] but near the end he went for a routine that basically was hitting the topic of child abuse and as much as a bunch of the stuff he’d done before was close to the line, it just suddenly crossed into a place of JUST DON’T GO THERE!

and that is the point of this blog. there is a line. i’m sure it looks different to different people, but there are some things you really should never joke about. ever. an international crisis that has just seen thousands of people die and hundreds of thousands lose everything is one of those things. so is child abuse. and rape. and the holocaust. and i’m sure a whole lot more. some things are just not worth the laugh.

which is why in this ‘freedom of speech’ [is it still freedom when your freedom starts encroaching on another persons?] society we live in, it was refreshing to see Aflac Inc. show some integrity and immediacy in terms of firing Gottfried and hopefully sending out a message that there are some things that will not be tolerated, even in comedy.

at the other end of the spectrum, doing a lot less harm, except maybe to himself, we have charlie sheen whose latest warlock plan is to marry a tree. according to http://www.doorstepnews.com, he said: “I’m going to marry a tree because the other type of marriage didn’t work so I’m going to marry a tree.” [http://doorstepnews.com/charlie-sheen-might-as-well-just-marry-a-tree]

still (theatre)sporting after all of these years

so this last saturday TheatreSports turned 17 – that’s right, cape town’s longest running show and too-often best kept secret has been running for 17 years, and i have been around for ten of them…

we celebrated with a halloween themed birthday show in the little theatre opposite the intimate theatre where we perform every monday night at 8.30 (you should come!) – it was a bumper show with no less than 12 of our crew battling it out in three teams of four with a show that contained much treating and the occasional tricking (or ‘challenging’ as was the more politically correct term we went for) as we brought in props and microphones for sound effects and had some students dressed up as characters roaming around the location mingling with the masses and challenge rounds and even were privileged to have the lovely jess back with us as guest mc (come back jessie!!) and the beautiful and talented kaliya (SA’s got talent semi finalist and player candice’s daughter) and much much more…

the show started with a revived theatresports tradition from even before i started playing where each team chose their own name and came up with a 30 second introduction sing/dance/act of who they were to introduce themselves to the audience – our team combined two extreme art forms as we presented ourselves as the metal ballet starting with a balleting swan who was then beaten up with guitars in some metal mayhem before reverting back to ballet for a final graceful death…

we warmed up with a freestyle freezetag where actors freeze a scene and then tap one of the actors and assume their physical position and then start an entirely new scene which goes on and on for a lot of crazy laughs – after a montage of short fast-paced scenes including julius malema’s lifesize birdhouse (“how will they get inside when you’ve given it door handles?”) which may or may not explain why he failed woodwork at school, the actors were warm and the competition was well under way…

starting off with the much loved sign game, we witnessed an interview with a taxidermist with a penchant for birds, before being entertained by a very lively party attended by a gibberish speaking lady gaga, a slinky and film noir styled character

challenge rounds were scattered around the show and the first round involved one player from each team perfoming together in a scene where no-one was allowed to use any words containing the letter ‘s’ – when you did you ‘died’ and were replaced by another team member – after a while the ‘s’ became a ‘t’ and then finally an ‘e’ to completely mess with the actors (try that one at home) – our team dominated the challenge rounds but this ultimately didn’t help all that much as we scored 5 points for winning the round (whereas a hey-that’s-my-mom enthusiastic kaliya was handing out nepotistical points in the hundreds for a certain team)

the second challenge round saw three players up against each other in a corpse challenge (where if you ‘lose it’ and laugh you’re out) which kim sadly was the first to leave after being ordered to bring me a “gin and tonic, hold the tonic” and then being shouted at for not holding the tonic when he returned… then it was left to me and anne to keep a straight face which was made tougher by her characters nipple-grabbing tendencies – we then moved to questions only and survived a frenetic few lines there before anne finally losing it as we moved to rhyming couplets and anne whispering “what’s a rhyming couplet” to me as she returned defeated to her seat

the evening was littered with other games and challenges to teams in games which saw a radio play performed in a minute, a whole set of other team member cameos during the first scene of a musical and one scene which saw me playing a jacket to anne and john wearing ryan as a stole (which threatened to *cough* stole the show…) and a stunt double performed fight scene where kim and john did the hard fighting work for me and leon

the show ended with a movie fest of films containing ninjas which saw some interesting moments – the cranberries theme tune “you’ve got to let it ninja” and a slow motion presumed dead ninja onslaught, just two of the 467 movies contained on the dvd under everyone’s chair…

for me the best part of the show (apart from having my beautiful wife Valerie cheering me on from the audience) was the fact that we took chances, we risked, we tried new stuff and messed around with format – some of it really worked, other parts need some fine-tuning but as a group we are ready and very much excited to be taking theatresports forward into some new and exciting realms having had a pretty similar format since i started playing…

thankx to everyone who came and supported us – if you still haven’t been to check out a show, please make sure you make a motion to do so before we are turning 18 – more live and funnier than Whose Line Is It Anyway? And we NEVER let drew carey play in any of our games…

and this coming weekend we are running another beginner course in TS and so if you’ve always wanted to try your hand at some of the games we play and learn how to improvise (the irony, or is it?) then get hold of us and sign up before it’s too late.

[check us out at www.theatresports.co.za]