Tag Archive: Chris Lahr


Lahrs

We have definitely gotten through some challenges in nearly 18 years of marriage. The challenges that seemed to be a big deal once, I actually look back and laugh about now.  At the time, the toilet seat being left up or the tooth paste cap off was no laughing matter. Now, there are bigger challenges of forgiving each other for things that seem unforgivable; learning to communicate about our differences of parenting styles rather than fight about them; learning to ask for help when we can’t do it on our own…

It has been through overcoming these challenges together that we have come to a place of trust for one another which has led us to an accountability. I can remember not that long ago if Chris would have said to me that I was being too hard on my daughter or had any kind of critique of my parenting style I would have gotten very defensive. Today I allow that criticism to be a mirror for me to see myself as others see me (especially my own daughters). Marriage has become that safe place where I can be myself and yet be challenged to be my better self. I have been reading a book that talks about how marriage is not just about making us happy, but making us holy. This can not be so if we are constantly defending ourselves to be the right one.

Things began to change for us when I realized that Chris wasn’t criticizing me to put me down, but to build me up into a better mom. Once I trusted this, I began to make changes in myself which liberated me from a deep rooted pride. I recognized more of my own brokenness and became more forgiving of his brokenness. We have learned gentle ways to remind each other when we are stepping into that area of struggle or sin.

We both had to recognize our own pride in order to break it down. This came through confession. The beauty of confession is that it brings freedom for the one confessing, and a avenue for grace for the one receiving that confession. Sharing vulnerably with each other has become a process filled with grace. This grace moves us towards change so that we can become who God created us to be. We have learned to love each other for who we are today but also to love who we are becoming.

[To head back to the beginning of this series and read a whole bunch of different stories, click here]

apart from having one of the greatest full names known to personkind [say Lara Harler Lahr out loud or sing it to the tune of ‘Deck the Halls’] Lara and her husband Chris and their daughters Alexa, Moriah and India are good friends of ours that we met in Philly in our previous season of life…

having made some very similiar decisions to Nigel and his family in the previous post and demonstrating some true inspiration of what incarnation is really about and how perhaps more of us are called to live like this, here is Lara Harler Lahr…

from left: Moriah, Lara Harler, India, Chris, Alexa

from left: Moriah, Lara Harler, India, Chris, Alexa

We started raising our kids to be world changers before they were even conceived. The day we returned from our life changing summer in  India in 1997, we decided to live differently. It was that experience that led us to name our first daughter Alexa, which means defender of mankind. Soon after, we moved from Wilmore Kentucky to Philadelphia PA. We sold everything except what we could load into our van and bought a house in one of the poorest neighborhoods of Philadelphia 13 years ago. I knew that bringing an almost 1 year old to the ghetto of Philadelphia made no logical sense to our family or much of our friends…and there were days that I thought we were crazy as well!

Our next door neighbors fought a lot. I remember fearing for the woman next door and for those sweet boys of hers. As the screaming went on for hours on end, all we could do was pray…or so we thought…. We started talking to our neighbors a little here and there and eventually decided to take down the little gate between our two back “yards.”  We went in halfsies and bought a baby pool.  I never had any deep conversations with them during that first year, and never pried into their problems. One day Chris was on the front porch hanging out when he saw our neighbor talking to other neighbors. Afterwards she came to Chris and said “Did you see that?! I just talked to a neighbor!! I never talk to neighbors, but I have been noticing you and Lara talking to neighbors and I decided I shouldn’t be the neighborhood bitch anymore!” Then she went on to say that she had noticed our relationship and it really brought hope for a healthy marriage!!

We realized at that point that having a healthy marriage and a healthy relationship with our kids does change the world!  Especially in the area where we live…where hardly and kids have a two parent home!!

Fast forward 13 years to today. We have three daughters who go to a local charter school. We have been part of a local church in the heart of the “Badlands” of Philly.  They witness the reality of poverty, drug addiction, prostitution, incarceration, shootings, and other violence. We have had to listen to our girls share heart breaking stories that they have heard from friends at school. My younger ones love to play homeless like most kids like to play house! This is just the world they know. Because my girls are exposed to such difficult and seemingly unchangeable circumstances, we put a lot of energy into teaching them to pray.  We have had morning devotions every morning for several years now and we are teaching them to pray and believe.

Two years ago we were able to travel to India to visit with our friend and her 48 kids and the child that we have been sponsoring for years. I had been in a car accident that left me with a settlement that covered our trip, and I wanted to go there more than do anything else so that my kids could witness and be a part of the faith of these kids in India. I could go on and on with stories of how much faith these children have and how God answers their prayers. I want my girls to know that closeness with God and to have that kind of faith. My girls hearts were changed. They are being molded more and more every day by their experiences which give them love for people and a deeper reliance on the power of prayer that does change the world.

[For another exciting story on raising children as world affecting people, click here for the story of Lisa Scandrette and her family]

lahr

 

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