i asked some of my parentals of young children friends on Facebook to share some creative ideas they have done or hope to do with their children and this is some of the response: Continue reading
Tag Archive: children
So this post by my friend Sean’s wife, Kirby, is a little bit different [was an eye-opener for me] as it differentiates between Tantrums and Meltdowns and i would love to hear some response to this from other parents who have maybe never thought about this before. She posted this under the title ‘Moment on Meltdowns’ on her blog ‘Niggles and Giggles’ which i have links to at the end, so go and see what else her and Sean have to say…
About 4 years ago we were driving to church and had to wait in some traffic to park (we went to a rather large church). In order to speed things up, I took my daughter out the car and walked into the church to an agreed meeting place. The problem was this place was busier than expected and noisy than I would have liked.
i don’t have children, but i have lived among them.
i can imagine that one of the scariest things for a parent [after safety/health issues] must be that moment when your young child throws themselves on the floor in the middle of the local supermarket [did i mention it’s end of the month busy packed shopping day?] and starts to scream and froth at the mouth.
i don’t know that all children have tantrums, but i know that a whole lot of them do. i imagine some parents have found methods that work really well and that other parents feel completely helpless and terrified.
So this feels like a Taboo Topic worth addressing in the form of inviting parents who have experienced their children throwing tantrums and either felt completely helpless, scared, embarrassed and vulnerable or else managed to find some ways to deal with the situation with the least amount of effort, pain and being red-carded from your local Pick ‘n Pay.
i hope these stories will encourage you to know that you are not alone, but also that some of them might have some tips, methods, ideas that you may not have tried which may be a possible solution for you and your children.
As always, thanks for everyone who has been brave enough to share:
Meet Candice D’arcy – Biting back, bathrooms and consistency…
Meet Wendy Lewin – Trying to get her son to sleep…
Meet Leigh Geary – The Joys of two-year-olds getting dressed…
Meet Belinda Mountain – Her two-year-old son Ben and a very public tantrum…
Meet Kirby and Sean Greathead – Difference between Tantrum and Meltdown
When I was young, I always dreamed of being married & having children.
Today I am a proud wife & mother of 2 beautiful boys. Its is only by the grace of God that we are now able to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary on the 1st May 2014.
As with any marriage, there are many challenges and yes most of them not easy, but even though we were caught up in our problems at those times, GOD was ever present.
We believe that things happen for a reason and so many times we look back and say to each other: “Wow, so that’s why that happened!”
When our beautiful sons were born we thought goodness this is what we always wanted but the scary part is that we thought that we didn’t have to keep learning things and school was over for us, but we were wrong! It only just began…haha. From ABC to projects…how nerve-wrecking, challenging and yet exciting to see the joy on their faces.
A wedding takes time to prepare, cost a pretty penny and only lasts for a day. A marriage however requires patience, love, kindness, forgiveness and best of all lasts a lifetime! And on the plus side it is so much more rewarding to have GOD in the centre of it ALL!
So this is to the partner God has picked out just for me; amazing, kind, loving & the best father our sons could ever ask for! Thank you for travelling this journey with me, I’m having the time of my life on this rollercoaster…yeah!
[To return to the start of this series and take a look at Marriage through many years, click here]
My Wife’s name is Vicky and My name is Bradley. We have been married for 6 years. The first couple of years of marriage were fairly easy. We got married and two weeks later had to relocate for work. So it was just us which in the beginning was good, after a few years we added kids and then really started to miss our family and the “extra hands” they would be able to supply.
Two challenges that I am continually faced with as a father and a husband:
The hardest thing to learn is how to love your wife for how she wants to be loved without the influence of other past relationships. I had a tendency not to do something that I had done for a past girlfriend based on the fact they didn’t like it or they liked it too much. So, flowers were out from the beginning. Not a good way to start a relationship. What follows from that is not to give up trying to love and romance the wife, simply because she is yours. Your call is to love her.
Second hardest thing is as a father, I am blessed to have an awesome stay at home mom. Which means she is on kid duty most of the time, it becomes very easy to become disconnected and not actually do anything you should be doing. Just leaving it to the wife. This can cause some extra stress and also a disconnect between dad and kids, I need to constantly remind myself, to help the wife out, and intentionally make time for my kids. Quality and quantity is important. Just spending quality time with your kids an hour a week is unfair to your kids and to your wife.
So my mate Terran Williams and his wide network of people put together a bunch of questions that they are going to use to make dinner time with their children more exciting and interesting and he has kindly shared them with the world so if you don’t eat together as a family you should probably start doing that and then try using some of these…
[and yes, mine was the one about two animals changing sounds cos imagine a lion chasing you screaming “Polly want a cracker.” I know!]
So, here’s my questions for dinner conversations. Feel free to cut, paste and print them yourself.
I am going to use them to get our kids (and Julie and I) talking about experiences, opinions and feelings. Many nights a week everyone will pull out of a bag a random piece of paper with one printed question and answer It.
Thanks to all of you who helped me brainstorm the list.
General Questions:
If you were an animal, what kind of animal do you think you would be and why?
If you could put your day into a dance, what would it look like? (Show us)
If you could have any super power what would it be?
Share a high of the day, low of the day, and something interesting that happened in between.
If you could make friends with one person who you aren’t already friends with, who would it be?
Which famous person would you like to invite to dinner and why?
If you have a R1000 that you have to use to help someone not in our family, how would you spend it?
What is one thing that you would love to learn to do?
Where is your favourite place and why?
If you could do something you did today a little differently, what would it be?
What made your heart happy today?
What colour was your day? Why?
If you could compare your day to an animal, what animal would it be?
How were you a blessing or help to someone else today?
What happened today that made you mad or glad?
If you could change something that happened today, what would it be and why?
What happened today that really amazed you?
What did you see or hear today that called for you to act courageously?
What do you know how to do that you can teach to others?
If you could be a sound, what would it be?
If you could choose a new name for yourself, what would it be, and why?
What dream(s) do you have for your future?
The one thing that you don’t like that much about this family is…
The one thing that you like best about this family is…
Tell us the one thing you like most about being you.
If you could keep your room any way you wanted, how would it look?
If you were going to have a weird, unusual pet, what would it be?
What is the grossest thing you can think of?
What would you do if you were invisible for a day?
Who do you think you are most like in our family? Why?
What’s the most daring thing you remember doing?
Name 1 thing you love about your brother, sister, mom and dad.
If I give you R100 what will you do to double it?
Did you see someone today who looked happy and why?
Anyone you see today who looked sad – is there anything you can do to change how they’re feeling tomorrow?
If you could swap the sounds two different animals make, what would they be?
What is something you don’t think you’re that good at that could somehow be a blessing in disguise?
What scares you?
What would you like to do this weekend as a family?
What is one skill/talent you would like to try and learn?
Would you rather be ugly and wise or great-looking and foolish?
Would you rather get everything you want now or work hard for it before getting it?
What are you most grateful for today?
Faith-related questions:
What did you learn about God today?
When you think of God, how do you picture him?
If you could ask God a question, what would it be?
What do you like most about God?
What happened today that you think would have made God laugh, smile or cry?
If you had to choose between having all four limbs and having a close friendship with God what would it be?
If you had to choose between having lots of money and having a close friendship with God what would it be?
Everyone answers:
(Many of the questions above would be suitable for everyone to answer.)
Say one thing you appreciate about the person on your right. Then that person does the same, until all are done.
One person per dinner:
Ask each person what aspect of their life they wish could be better, then have them solve the problem, thus feeling a sense of intellectual ability, achievement, independence in small areas of his life.
Do you have an interesting question to add to this list? Or a funny or interesting story to add having tried a question from this list? I’d dig to hear it…
being a parent of young children can be one of the toughest things in the world.
for some parents, more often than not it can be more a matter of survival than thriving and any hope of finding creative ways to raise your little people into being the world changers you hope that will be one day is often replaced by just trying to make it to the end of the day without killing any of them.
which is where this series comes in. i am not a parent myself, but i have heard some inspirational stories recently of some parents doing some things, which in some cases are very simple and in others took a more invested amount of involvement, which are likely to teach their children great lessons about living life well and ultimately will change the world. the idea is for me to collect a whole bunch of these ideas to hopefully inspire those who maybe don’t have the time or inclination to sit down and try and imagine them for themselves.
the hope is that you will find an idea, or ideas, that might work for you or that these stories might spark a different idea for you to try with your family.
let me say that i think being a parent is one of the most important ‘jobs’ in the world. it is so crucial and important and because there is no test you have to take to become one or manual to read that shows you how it will all play once you have one, must rank as one of the most scary things you can do in life, in terms of worrying that you will get it wrong.
which is why learning from those who have walked the journey can be a powerful thing…
THE PARENT, THE CHILD AND THE PAID-FOR-RESTAURANT-BILL LOTTERY
I heard the story of when my bossman and his wife Meeghan went out for a meal with their young son, Justice. After the meal was done, they turned to Justice and said he could look around the restaurant and pick any family he wanted and they would pay for that family’s meal. So essentially they were the ones doing the good deed, but by inviting Justice to make the choice it suddenly started to feel like his good deed. So he picked a family and they went to the front and paid for their bill and the other family’s meal. Then the hardest part happened when they took Justice out without being able to watch the family receive the gift [a further lesson in terms of doing something good in secret].
‘There are a lot of times that people get to thank us or times we get to witness the impact of our sharing. This was a moment that it wasn’t necessary and perhaps more important for us not to need or receive.’ [Meeghan]
Simple, yet profound, because that is going to be a story that sticks with him. And because, more importantly, he was a part of it.
That is what this series is all about – as a parent, what creative life lesson have you been able to teach your child, or what practice do you do as a family that you feel will help them grow up to think differently and be different from the herd, in a world changing way?
Meet Bruce, Gemma, Emily and Mikaela
Meet cousin David and the members of his clan
Meet Three Manns and a little Goat
Meet Nigel and Trish and their five kids who moved into a dangerous area in Hillbrow, South Africa
Meet Lara, Chris and their daughters who also moved into a dangerous area in Philadelphia, Americaland
Meet Lisa and her children Hailey, Noah and Isaiah who also moved into a dangerous area in San Francisco, Americaland
Meet Dalene Reyburn and read the letter she writes to her two boys to see them grow up as world changers
Meet Ro, Ad and Aaléyah and hear about the time they gave Jesus a shark!
A very worthwhile addition to this list is a reading of this letter from Magda Pecsenye to her sons about stopping rape [Excellent read for any parent!]
Look forward to sharing and hearing some more stories.
[If you have one you would like to share please email it to brettfish@hotmail.com – I won’t necessarily use them all, but it will be great to have a whole bunch to choose from]
Irresistibly Fish 