what would Jesus play? [and other reflections on Arisefest 2010]

sometimes i like to picture Jesus in a modern day setting and wonder how His life and ministry would have looked if it was 2011 when God decided to come to earth in human form to settle the original score instead of 2000ish years ago

would He have watched movies or played computer games? Would He have had His own Facebook page or blog? Would Jesus own a cellphone (my thorts are He probably wouldn’t because He seemed to be quite an in-the-moment in-the-place kind of guy) or gone and watched five days of a cricket test (i suspect He might have done this, and used it as an opportunity to spend some time bonding with His little band of followers throwing out “The kingdom of God is like a slip cordon…” and other teachings)

we don’t really know and i imagine if we put even three people in a room and asked them a bunch of those type questions we would have a variety of strong but differing opinions on most of them

looking back over the last two days of Arisefest – the christian band festival i was privileged to be a small part of (as mc for the main stage) – i thort through that scenario again and came up with a few thorts on the matter

in the unlikelihood (i.m.o.) of Jesus being part of a rock/hardcore/hip-hop/indie etc band that played at the festival…

…He wouldn’t invite girls to throw themselves at the single band members and then take off his shirt and call on people in the crowd to do the same…

…He wouldn’t disrespect the festival organisers and the other bands in a tightly packed band schedule by ignoring signals from the side of the stage to end His band’s set so that the next band could go on, just because He wanted to stay on the stage…

…He definitely wouldn’t lead crowds in vociferous “Jesus is my King” chanting or intense praise and worship and then follow it by launching into “just one more song” when told to leave the stage because He was already a few minutes over…

…and i’m fairly certain He wouldn’t have one of his band members try and physically back the mc off the stage and then Himself physically push him away just for a last few minutes of crowd fervour as He played an extended instrumental ending to the “just one more” song He’d decided to do making Him now 15 minutes over His allotted time…

at the same time as some of this was going on, there were a couple of moments that really stood out for me, and reflecting back on them now, the ones that come to mind pretty much all involved bands that i am friends with some or all of the members of (that makes me happy) – moments like the Harbourlight guys playing their set with such a Jesus-focused passion that spilled over to the crowd, Rash from Versus the Wolf taking some precious minutes out of their playing time to address the crowd and share their hearts for doing what they do (which is glorifying God and reaching people with the hope that is in Jesus) and Tyron from Skylit City – the organiser of the festival – full on passionately singing their bands songs and later on leading the crowd in a time of rampant worship and then finishing their band set and leaving the stage ten minutes before their time had even run out (maybe something along the lines of “It’s all about You” honestly being lived out there)

what would Jesus do? We wear the bracelet, maybe we ask the question, but to be honest i’m not sure it’s hitting the heart of the matter because we can only guess and ponder and hypothesise and possibly argue about it… what might be a better, more accurate question is “What would Jesus have me do?” and it really was a festival for me of seeing some bands and people legitimately answering that question while others simply chased the applause of the crowds or got caught up in the experience of the moment…

to Be The Change (festival theme) you HAVE to start with being changed…

lesson for phone technicials

so last week my phone stopped connecting to the internet – not a train smash cos i don’t inet much on my phone but just a nuisance really

so i phoned the phone network (don’t want to mention names but rhymes with spurgeon and starts with a V… and is Virgin) and chatted to someone who referred me to someone in the technical department cos after all it was a technical issue

‘sent me’ settings which my phone never received so phoned back and said he would do it manually but i didn’t have access to another phone – tbV was out thesising – and so we tried – and missed a few times – to make a time when both phones would be available – still waiting for that call to return incidentally altho he did phone once while i was shopping and couldn’t do it

then yesterday i went trawling the phone shops of Stellenbosch – which doesn’t have a rhyming-with-spurgeon-v-starting shop and asked all the other brands for help – most of them couldn’t cos i wasn’t registered with them but two of them gave me advice which involved reformatting and saving information to pc and blah blah blah – no luck

this morning i had breakfast with my good buddy craig beech – he told me to turn my phone off and take out the battery and replace it and turn it on again – i have internet once more

take note working-with-phones-is-my-current-livelihood people – it was not rocket scientist – in driver’s ed it would amount to the “pick up car ke part of the lesson

thankx craig, sometimes it is good when life is a beech

Pome: Cell’ing your soul (a.k.a Sign on the dotted telephone line)

Ah, there you are

I sense you, reaching for me again

Not because you need me

Just because you need to make sure I’m there

I am your preciouss

“A convenience” was my way in

“A necessity” is what I’ve become

But you don’t even notice

As I continue to slowly, subtly infiltrate your life

You smile as you convince yourself that you are in charge

And back it up by reminding the world that you have changed my setting to silent

Although still on vibrate,

You know… just in case…

And so, as I lie idol in your bag

Waiting for your next Seriously Mediocre Salutation

Or life-changing, world-saving? conversation with, oh what’s-her-name?

So I count the hours I’ve taken, money I’m making

Conversations I’ve broken into and near accidents I’ve caused

And vibrate quietly to myself as I prepare for my next cancerous assault…

days of our (my) virgin lies

i just spoke to a woman called Sijabulile on the phone at the virgin Customer sCare desk concerning a money-being-owed-to-me-by-virgin issue and she was very friendly and professional. she checked my information, she understood the problem and assured me it was being taken care of. she even emailed the billing department to inquire as to why the payment had not gone through yet. she updated my email details and set me up for billing confirmation. all very exciting.

excepting that in january, Thatho had already done all that, and the following week so did Lebo, and then Dumelo, after whom it was Gabriel who was followed by Sisiwe. a couple of days ago Akhona assured me that within 24 hours the money would be returned.

which helped introduce me to Sijabulile. yet another call. yet another long wait. the same verification questions which i can answer before they arrive – confirm cellphone number, id number, present place of residence and email address.

mid jan is when virgin decided it would be fun to inexplicably disappear the free 1000 sms deal i have as part of my contract and start charging me sms’s and so suddenly my R250 airtime was R96 and then within a day i was sitting not being able to send sms’s because i had 0.02 on my phone. they – eventually – rectified the mistake (i know of at least two other people this happened to so it was not just Richard Branson getting back at me for emailing him asking for the R15000 he owes me for when i forgot his name on The Weakest Link ) but have yet to return the amount i lost (including the extra R120 i had to put on through my ATM)

by the end of the day, by monday, within twenty four hours, by tomorrow this time, at the start of the next month are all time scales i have received for when the money is going to be returned…

it probably will be eventually – and no doubt less than i spent – but who will repay me the hours lost listening to “hi there and welcome to virgin where your wish is our command” messages…

i suspect my current wish you would not be all that eager to fulfil.