so once upon a time there was a guy called jack handey who wrote some classic mostly one liners which were funny and random and sometimes both all at once… this inspired me to try my own and we are on the seventh round of voting – so if any of these make you smile or laugh or think about laughing really loudly then please let me know in a comment which ones do it for you…

“Instead of a regular air-bag in your car, how about a whoopee-cushion bag? The melodic farting sound as you have an accident sending out the message that we’re going to have as much fun with this thing as possible.” [Brett Andy]

“At the Beer-and-Chess festival everything was going well until I took a stranger’s castle.” [Brett Andy]

“My parents sent me to improve classes to try get me to come out of my shell, but it didn’t work. The paper mache interior was just too warm and inviting for me to want to leave.” [Brett Andy]

“As I threw my dart straight at the bulls eye I suspected my day at the rodeo might be ending prematurely.” [Brett Andy]

“I went fly-fishing the other day for the first time. I was a complete failure. I still need to figure out how to keep the bait in the air long enough to interest them.” [Brett Andy]

“I took two sheep and a goat to Wall Street but no-one wanted to trade with me.” [Brett Andy]

“I bought an old dog and quickly taught him a new trick. Now I’m scared I may have peaked.” [Brett Andy]

“The other day I was so embarrassed when I went up to a total stranger in the shops and congratulated her on her pregnancy. Turns out he wasn’t.” [Brett Andy]

“I think the real question we should be asking is WHY did the chicken cross the road?” [Brett Andy]

“If a T-Rex ever got into a fight with a man, who would win? Answer: The man. Did I mention it was an intellectual fight?”

“It’s time the world started being a little more sensitive and honouring the fact that maybe Wally is just wanting some alone time away from us all.” [Brett Andy]

“Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa & Po recently swore off technology & each lost around 120 pounds of weight. Now no-one knows what to call them.” [Brett Andy]

“If you’re Happy and you know it, there’s probably a dwarven mining axe somewhere with your name on it.” [Brett Andy]

and if you want to see the full list of brett andy’s head along to for the rest of them…