Tag Archive: boob cake

Mumford and Fish

Mumford and Fish

These are three of my best friends: Dunc, Majay and Rob. And missing from that pic is Reegs who is also one of my longest life buddies. And of course my wife, the beautiful Val [aka tbV, which so many of you keep thinking stands for The Lovely Val because of, um, the B, obviously] who made this photo [taken at my 40th after these clowns performed a satirical rendition of one of my favourite Mumford songs complete with homemade pizza box guitar and changed up lyrics] possible, plus of course let’s not forget the boob cake. Continue reading


i logged on to the internetweb late last nite after a busy day needing to write an article before i went to sleep and was greeted by the sad news of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s passing…

i did what i do any time i hear a famous person has died, which is type ‘Philip Seymour Hoffman dead scam’ into Uncle Google to check on the legitimacy of the news and sadly could tell pretty quickly that it was a true account. What made it even worse [and the same thing happened a week before Paul Walker’s death ironically] was that there had been a Philip Seymour Hoffman is dead scam earlier in the week. But all the major news outlets were now reporting that at age 46, the academy-award winning actor had been found dead, with a huge possibility of it being caused by drugs.

and i read a whole page worth of what other celebrities were tweetering and saying in response to his death, with so many of them calling him, ‘One of the finest actors of his generation’ and i started to wonder if he ever got to hear that live…

recently i shared this post about my 40th birthday party that just happened and how my wife secretly organised a boob cake for me [yes, that!] because it was something i had wanted to have at my funeral one day [can’t even remember how that idea started but probably from the perspective of creating awkwardness vibes from beyond the grave] and filled the celebration with other things i wanted to have at my funeral, made all the more better because i actually got to experience them.

the point being that so often we hear things at funerals that the dead people never got to hear while they were alive, and while we like to entertain the idea that they are peacefully stretched out on a fluffy white cloud listening to our every word, we don’t know that that is the case and it may well be that they get to hear nothing that we say once they have passed on.

Don’t wait until it is too late. Find and create opportunities to say your things to your people now. Philip Seymour Hoffman was 46 and I’m sure no one saw it coming.

Whether it is a handwritten letter [how special are those these days] or a card, an email or a conversation or whether it’s taking the lead of tbV and organising a celebration [does it even need to be for a birthday?] where you make space to speak life and appreciation and get to tell stories about your friend or family member while they can still appreciate them.

thanks to tbV and a whole bunch of my friends, about a week ago i got my boob cake and i got to hear stories and relive memories and be hugely encouraged by what people have seen and experienced with me and it was so life giving. who do you need to do this for? don’t wait too long…



my wife, tbV, and i have a running gag where i tell her things i want at my funeral and she tells me to “write them down cos there’s so many and i won’t remember them all.”

most recently, it was the necessity of playing my two favourite music videos [and happiness-creating-machines – in my life anyways] the wildly popular Ylvis, ‘What does the fox say?” and the actor-filled satirical mess of Mumford’s ‘Hopeless Wanderer’ with Jason Bateman et al playing the band members in ridiculousness. [if you somehow have been away from planet earth in 2013 and missed either of those you can catch up over here and here]

and clearly somewhere along the line a boob cake [no, that’s not a typo, i am not talking about a cake honouring my stuffed dolphin, No_boob, okay that may have been a typo] got added to the mix, probably cos of my controversial tendencies and desire to make multiple people go ‘Um?’ at festive [or not so festive?] gatherings.

i have also always dreamed of being alive at my funeral – you know, one of those unexplained mysteries and somehow there was a misdiagnosis and the raccoon stampede didn’t completely finish me off as previously imagined, and the coffin is open and i get to hear what everyone says about me… [the enhanced version cos clearly people tend to say nicer-than-real things about people who have died so it’s always hard to tell] and then jump out at the end and go, ‘Wah, just kidding, I’m actually still alive, let’s all have some boob cake!’ 

funerals have always bummed me out by the nature of the fact that the person needing to hear all the stuff being said about them is dead.

and so, in the week when i turned 40, my amazing wife, knowing all these things, decided to skip the part where i die and give me a whole bunch of the things i have always wanted…

# She gathered together some of my favourite people on the planet [well those in Cape Town/Stellenbosch where we are at the moment of birthdayage].

# She created a space for them to share dodgy stories from my past [dodgy if you didn’t know and understand the context or apparently if you did] and also things they appreciated about me or saw in me [which was deeply moving and inside crying for sure].

# She managed to get three of my friends to do their own re-enactment of Mumford’s ‘Hopeless Wanderer’ slightly changing it to ‘Homeless Wanderer’ to make it a little more appropriate and somehow managed to get my best school buddy Duncan Houston in dreads with a pizza-box-made guitar for the most fun at a party since his dad gave us all an etymology lesson at Dunc’s 21st, complete with the banjo bit [my favourite part] and an ‘instrument’ smashing at the end.

# She also somehow managed to get my best college friend, who i used to call ‘Saint Mandy’ to her dismay, to make for me a boob cake. Like a cake, but with boobs on the top, made of cake. Ohmygosh. What a moment!

Best funeral ever!

i especially liked the bit where i didn’t have to be dead to be there… although i did try and slice my thumb off in the post-party cleanup while trying to wash a particularly hectic knife. Knife – 1, Brett’s Thumb – 0 [honourable mention to Brett’s thumbernail for stopping the hastily advancing blade]

so what an incredible evening and i will go so far as saying it was awesome because God was definitely in the centre of conversations and a great prayer time they did for me.

[and what an incredible wife, thankx lady, now we will have to zero that funeral list and start again]

which brings me back to the title of this blog: would Jesus have a boob cake? and my answer is absolutely not.

however, i don’t personally believe Jesus would have a Facebook account either [He may have, but watching His life through the gospels He tended to be more of a people person and often chose to interact with individuals over crowds and so i think if He was physically around today that He would more likely be found in coffee shops, mall benches, beachfronts and walking through the streets of the local African township.]

at the same time, i don’t think Jesus would not want me to be on Facebook [feels like it is suited to my particular gifting and i try to use it as a tool to connect and befriend and love and encourage and challenge]

also i don’t personally believe that Jesus would play field hockey, but think he is okay with me playing field hockey… although not when i lose my temper and start chirping people sarcastically or become a bad sport and start blaming the ref for a moment that occurred because of my bad fitness or lack of skills. i think He likes the way it brings me into contact and friendship with people who might be outside of the church, as long as i love them well and treat them with respect.

and so on… seeing a trend here? What Would Jesus Do? was perhaps not the most helpful marketing strategy for the church – but What Would Jesus Want Me To Do? [too long for a bracelet, i get it, how about a belt?] or even ‘How does Jesus want me to live?’ – well, lots more accuracy in that. And i feel like Colossians 3.17 and 23 give some good guidance for that:

17 And whatever you do,whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.

so no, Jesus would not have had a boob cake, i am pretty sure of that one… but i do think He would have been more than happy with the gathering that we had going last nite and so huge and special thankx to everyone who came and also everyone who helped make it happen. best birthday party ever. [so far]


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