Tag Archive: blog


i enjoy blogging – i like the opportunity to pour my thorts and deep musings as well as my heavily superficial hopefully humorous nut job ramblings out onto virtual paper that a couple of other people may read and be challenged or amused or impacted or shaken by…

and i enjoy engaging with people – i love it when people disagree with me if they have a good argument that shows they are really thinking about the stuff and really believe their differing point of view – i really thrive upon the challenge that comes from having my ideas and beliefs and thorts challenged when it is by genuine people, sharing their take on things in a dignified respectful way…

and then there are the others… [and i’m honestly starting to believe there is a line of these people queued up somewhere in cyberspace, each taking their turn, to saunter down to my blog, rant, rage, accuse, go off on some barely sensical scribed rambling, spam it to death, and then head back to the queue, pass the baton on, and the next one steps up…]

i also – until recently – had a policy of approving whatever people want to post, because i do want to be open and transparent and because i do encourage differing opinions, whether i agree with them or not, and i also want the serious blogs to be places of engagement where others can come and share their ideas… but lately there have been a couple of individuals who have just spammed my blogs like crazy with their largely crazy and i deleted a bunch of them mostly cos they were taking up space and just going around in circles not saying a lot of stuff [this naturally brought out the labels, ‘typical close-minded christian’, ‘censorship,’ ‘don’t listen to anyone who disagrees with you’ and so on, and i am quite happy to have those thrown at me cos i know what is true and what isn’t]

the latest is my new friend brits who believes he must post religiously on my blogs for the following reason:

“I will post only in this section from now as it is important that you don’t get a big ego”

cos clearly my blog is all about me being centre stage (his words) and wanting all the attention and something something – his job is to keep me humble (always appreciative of more humility, we all need that)

brits has been commenting on my ‘how to love your woman better’ articles with some advice of his own – when you read these pearls you too may decide to join him in labelling me ‘close-minded’ for not wanting them to populate my pages:

“Women can be sensitive and break glasses and then you would be ready to write articles on how to love her better. I try to avoid the glasses or cups being thrown and head to the pub.”


“Your wife is hardcore chick and I see why you worry so much about doing dishes. My chick is also like that so beer is the answer and to go watch the rugby with the boys, not much into cricket thou but go if the guys all go.”

we do agree on one thing though, my wife is hardcore… altho, according to my nigerian friend, i am not allowed to say that because now that we are married we are one and if i call her hardcore i am calling myself hardcore which is vain and proud and so no more “the beautiful val”

or something.

um…. so who’s next?

This one goes out to those of you who have girlfriends or wives (and if you’ve been paying attention and using your brains all along this series you will realise that most of what i say would fit into a ‘how to love your man better’ series or be applied to family and friends and work colleagues to differing extents so i hope no-one has been put off by the titles – i am specifically wanting to help guys be better men which is why i am addressing it to them) because as amazing and incredible and heart-fluttering and life-transforming and silly-grin-forming and so on as it is, there will come a time…

Being married is not easy. Well i mean it is. A lot. A lot of lots of easy. A lot of the time. But not all of the time. Sometimes it is not easy. Sometimes it is work/effort. Sometimes it is sacrifice and compromise. And sometimes it is arguing…

Because inevitably that will happen. If you never ever argue or fight in your relationship then chances are you are not being real with each other. In fact i’d stake the farm on it. I don’t have a farm, but if i did this is the bet i’d gamble it on. And i don’t think it is much of a gamble. There may be some couple reading this who go ‘oh but we never fight’ – if you’re a long distance couple and see each other for two days once a month then that is likely to be true because every night is date night and mxit or facebook or sms or phone call only reveal the good positive happy fun side of your person. But if you are in ongoing relationship (and especially if you are married when you have to stick around – and more importantly choose to – you can’t not be there when you don’t feel like it or when you’re cranky or she’s cranky or you both are) and see each other a lot, there will be conflict. [or one of you or even both in our grande dislike of confrontation might suppress and argument and back away or withdraw and so it may look like you’re not fighting, but the fight has just moved to an internal battlefield with far worse consequences eventually]

And so arguments will happen. To love your woman better you can choose to argue well.

To continue to the next part click here

sometimes i like to picture Jesus in a modern day setting and wonder how His life and ministry would have looked if it was 2011 when God decided to come to earth in human form to settle the original score instead of 2000ish years ago

would He have watched movies or played computer games? Would He have had His own Facebook page or blog? Would Jesus own a cellphone (my thorts are He probably wouldn’t because He seemed to be quite an in-the-moment in-the-place kind of guy) or gone and watched five days of a cricket test (i suspect He might have done this, and used it as an opportunity to spend some time bonding with His little band of followers throwing out “The kingdom of God is like a slip cordon…” and other teachings)

we don’t really know and i imagine if we put even three people in a room and asked them a bunch of those type questions we would have a variety of strong but differing opinions on most of them

looking back over the last two days of Arisefest – the christian band festival i was privileged to be a small part of (as mc for the main stage) – i thort through that scenario again and came up with a few thorts on the matter

in the unlikelihood (i.m.o.) of Jesus being part of a rock/hardcore/hip-hop/indie etc band that played at the festival…

…He wouldn’t invite girls to throw themselves at the single band members and then take off his shirt and call on people in the crowd to do the same…

…He wouldn’t disrespect the festival organisers and the other bands in a tightly packed band schedule by ignoring signals from the side of the stage to end His band’s set so that the next band could go on, just because He wanted to stay on the stage…

…He definitely wouldn’t lead crowds in vociferous “Jesus is my King” chanting or intense praise and worship and then follow it by launching into “just one more song” when told to leave the stage because He was already a few minutes over…

…and i’m fairly certain He wouldn’t have one of his band members try and physically back the mc off the stage and then Himself physically push him away just for a last few minutes of crowd fervour as He played an extended instrumental ending to the “just one more” song He’d decided to do making Him now 15 minutes over His allotted time…

at the same time as some of this was going on, there were a couple of moments that really stood out for me, and reflecting back on them now, the ones that come to mind pretty much all involved bands that i am friends with some or all of the members of (that makes me happy) – moments like the Harbourlight guys playing their set with such a Jesus-focused passion that spilled over to the crowd, Rash from Versus the Wolf taking some precious minutes out of their playing time to address the crowd and share their hearts for doing what they do (which is glorifying God and reaching people with the hope that is in Jesus) and Tyron from Skylit City – the organiser of the festival – full on passionately singing their bands songs and later on leading the crowd in a time of rampant worship and then finishing their band set and leaving the stage ten minutes before their time had even run out (maybe something along the lines of “It’s all about You” honestly being lived out there)

what would Jesus do? We wear the bracelet, maybe we ask the question, but to be honest i’m not sure it’s hitting the heart of the matter because we can only guess and ponder and hypothesise and possibly argue about it… what might be a better, more accurate question is “What would Jesus have me do?” and it really was a festival for me of seeing some bands and people legitimately answering that question while others simply chased the applause of the crowds or got caught up in the experience of the moment…

to Be The Change (festival theme) you HAVE to start with being changed…

my friend bruce collins recently held a 50 word short story competition which i entered and i have made it to the final five with some really stiff competition – here is the blog and head on over to http://baristabruce.wordpress.com/2010/11/01/five-50-word-finalists to vote for your favourite…

‘Many years ago, there was a 50 word short story challenge somewhere on the interwebs. I fell in love with the concept of telling a story briefly and precisely. Hence, I thought it would be fun to put out such a challenge to all my fellow writers out there to write short stories of exactly 50 words. No more. No less. As with any great story, a good climax and awesome twist make 50 word stories particularly enjoyable.

Thank you to everyone who entered. I recieved a total of 12 entries. The five finalists will follow. Please vote for your favourite(s) by commenting on this post with the number(s) of the story(ies) you think deserve to win. Voting will close on Thursday 4 November 2010.

1. Caged by Jean
Help. Some one’s got me. He took me. Broke me. Nothings left. Tattered. In ruins. Like the clothes that once lay on my back. All that’s left is a piece of who I used to be. They’ll never touch that. Desperate. Alone. Why can’t you care enough to say hello?

2. Romance Resurrection by Shae
A gentle face lost in the crowds. Only the words shaped by his voice, to set him apart. A symbol. His hands always outstretched: giving, healing, helping, holding. Until… A kiss. A questioning. A beating. A cross. A cry. A death. A piercing. A tomb. Now alive.

3. Mr Wrinklybottom by Brett
Mr Wrinklybottom had feared cats his whole life. Incomprehensible paranioa had seized him and inexplicably never let up. Even now, running through the tunnel he glanced backwards to ensure he wasn’t being followed. Suddenly he stood facing a mirror. It was then Mr Wrinklybottom realised that he was a mouse.

4. Untitled by Simon
He woke to pain, upside down, vinyl biting his collar. Crimson water flooded his mangled world. Feeling it’s source, his blood ran cold.His vision swam; the car sank. A time to put things right, to make amends. One last prayer; ‘God, I may have left it a little late…’

5. A Rose by Anne
The crusty unyielding loam beneath my crumpled, dead shriveled exterior oppressed me.

“ Dead-life,” I murmured.

Clutching a desperate urge for survival, I thrust out a tender fragile cry. Water unexpectedly drenched forgotten ground. The urge to live bundled out misshapen. Grace rose. Light shone down. I smiled.’

i do have lots of thorts on this topic and so hopefully i will blog some of them down here as well sometime but the beautiful Val has written a really brilliant blog on ‘the honeymoon phase’ of marriage so if you are married (and even if you’re not and are just taking notes, check this out!)

beautiful lady blog on the honeymoon phase

besides trying to spell it i mean.

the idea behind this blog is to write and let people discover it. have linked one person to one thing i wrote and also gave mention of the fact that it exists on my FB status… but the idea is not to advertise and draw everyone towards it.

but it’s hard cos i want people to read what i write. as if it matters or something. i do think a lot of what i write matters and i think if and when people stumble across this it will matter to some of them and maybe one day to a lot of people. but the purpose of this was to get my thorts aligned and down on virtual paper.

i need to stick with that. this is predominantly for me.

anonynimity. hm i think that’s more it. actually not too sure but way too lazy to risk looking it up. not convinced, but more convinced than anonyminity for sure. definitely anonymousity if i was in charge though. yeessssss.

So this last week we played Settlers (card/board game similar to but better than Risk for the uninitiated) 3 times and i didn’t win any of the games… two of them were extremely frustrating cos of the nature of the games where i was totally taken down by the dice throws or lack thereof and in fact during the one i went thru a run of 13 dice throws and only picked up once (which is just crazy)

But actually the main point is i lost… three times… unheard of for last year’s Settlers National Championships silver medal position placed person (ha, seriously though) and for someone as competitive as me (a lot!) it should have been tough and sucky and painful – and to some competitive extents it was – but actually it has been a great week… in hindsight and life lessons and character growing and so on… because i really have been trying to work on my losing, and do much better at it.

Some people are just natural…um not natural losers, that sounds bad, but natural good losers i guess – one of the guys we played with is a dude called James who stays pretty much the same whether he wins or loses, whereas we have pretty much a whole whine society who will tell you it was the dice throws and the board setup and the trading and blah blah blah (and i’ve previously been chairman of the society so the fingers are point right back at me no worries) and James just enjoys the game i think…

And that’s cool, and it’s what i’ve been wanting for a long long time. But i am very competitive. And i think there is a way to stay competitive but have the same level of enjoyment whether you win or lose. Especially if it’s my wife beating me (as she did at Scrabble and Thurn and Taxes – new game we played – today) because i seriously love her a lot and it brings me great joy when she wins. Now i just have to increase the joy when she wins against me.

So ja, working at becoming a bigger loser. And we got a game on tomorrow lunch so the opportunity is very definitely there.

[oh wow, just read previous blog and didn’t even remember that i’d written it – obviously a topical topic, Al.]

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