Tag Archive: bad tattoos


christmas

hey Brett “Fish” [well, this is a little awkward, cos that’s me, why are you writing to yourself weirdo?]

as the end of the year approaches at pace, i thort i’d i’d just drop in [okay, you’re being weird again, you do know this is still you writing, right?] and share some quick thoughts [wait, quick? okay, maybe this isn’t you] and comments so you can end 2014 well.

[1] Don’t stuff your face. 

i know you get excited when you see favourite food types that you don’t normally have and somehow internally feel like you have to eat as much of everything as you can because you may never ever see that food again, but STOPPIT, remember the vow of never gourging yourself ever again [and how often you’ve broken it] – rather slow down and just get a taste of everything and go for appreciation and celebration over preparing yourself for the winter hibernation  [you are not a bear, my friend.] Also, post-Christmas meal bloatedness is not attractive to you or anyone else and it feels horrible, so really, just slow down and go for quality over quantity.

stuffing

 

[2] Don’t hate outwardly on the carols.

We get it, you don’t like Christmas carols [okay so now we’re talking to onesself in the royal we? you’re kinda starting to scare me now] but it’s okay that other people do. So keep your unappreciativeness on the inside so that those who do enjoy them don’t have to feel bad for playing them when they do. There will be an end to the madness. After December 25th i think it’s only fair that they are banned til next year August again.

grinch

 

[3] Christmas on strangers.

Let’s be honest, most of the people you know and love have more than enough stuff and the ability to get more of what they don’t have or want, so don’t let them be your focus [and maybe you can do a little better in 2015 to have some more people in your life who don’t, yeah?] but look out for the opportunities to encourage, spoil and treat those who might be less well off. Good job on finally buying a copy of the Big Issue you’ve been threatening to for months, but now let’s see how you can get a little more lavish on car guards and petrol attendants and others who cross your path. And intentionally look out for a person or a family in and around your life who might just be needing a special boost. God and people have been so generous to you this past year and so really it is the least we can ask for you to be more of the same. Give intentionally.

petrol

 

[4] Stock Take 2014

This has been a bit of a crazy year of transition, which you are still in the middle of [i mean, that should be ‘we’ right? cos you’re still writing to yourself, which is still kinda creepy. JUST SAYING. Also notice how when anyone says, ‘Just saying’, they’re usually not? Ooh, that’s good, you should tweet that one.] and it has been crazy busy since returning from Americaland, so make some time [and do it with that Val girl, she’s pretty hot!] to sit down and look back and write some lists of people and things you are grateful for, of lessons you’ve learnt, of things you don’t want to repeat and maybe finish up with some goals and ideas for 2015. And you know she likes beaches and beautiful things so do it near a beach or a beautiful thing. [She won’t mind if cocktails are included].

reflect

 

[5] Date your wife. 

tbV has worked really hard, especially these last few weeks and so make the few days she gets off really special. You know what she likes [and it’s not sitting at home playing tower defence on your tablet, well she does like that but not as the thing, more as the thing after the thing] and so throw in a little bit of dating and spoilingment and help her finish the year much refreshed and feeling loved. She is a good one that lady.

val

 

[6] And finally, just get that flippin tattoo already. 

Quit whining about not having just the right design and flippin make a plan and get it done. You have birthday money saved up from almost a year ago and so you really just need to get on with it and do it now. Seriously. This is beyond sad.

Oh, but do try and avoid some of these:

education2

Just heard that today is National Grammar Day. Only problem is they were not too specific on which nation so I’m claiming it.

One of my pettest peeves has to be when people use the word “loose” when they are intending to mean the word “lose”that always makes me just want to loose it.

[where “it” is a fire-breathing dragon that will rain down burning molten lava upon the unsuspecting person who butchered the english language, but in a metaphorical non-burny way]

i am probably a bit of an ironic hypocriticalist when it comes to grammar, to be honest, because i did pretty well in English in school and so i, for the most part, know what is supposed to go where, but for me i largely have chosen to bite my thumb at a lot of grammatical conventions all in the name of being different, or getting a jump start on earning the “eccentric” moniker.

for example, i don’t use a lot of CAPS – i tend to save them for God or God related things or sometimes proper nouns, but generally choose to bring all things down to a level playing field when it comes to those – drives people batty when i don’t start sentences with CAPS but that’s just a personal style thing. my biggest fear is that it will only be seen as fun and quirky after i’m dead.

i also refer to the Grammar Police [usually on Facebook cos let’s be honest, that’s where 90% of all grammar deaths happen, right?] as the Grandma Police in the hope that it blunts a little bit the fact that i am about to tell you you got something horribly wrong. the teacher in me struggles to sit idly by while ‘their’ becomes ‘there’ and ‘they’re’ is totally avoided altogether, but i do hope that people receive the spelling correction while chuckling that, ‘Ha, Ha, he said Grandma and not Grammar’ and so it becomes more of a fun thing than a judgement. i also intentionally choose ‘Police’ over ‘nazi’ because i try and avoid the usage of the word ‘nazi’ outside of its actual meant meaning as it feels like too big a thing for me to take flippantly.

grammarpuppy

as you can see, i do take writing quite seriously and think about some of these things way to much.

so Loose=Lose is one of my biggest and i will try to think of some others that really bug me. in the meantime i would love to hear from you in the comments if there is a particular grammar error that really gets your back up.

i think the big everyone-who-knows-better one tends to be ‘their’, ‘there’ and ‘they’re’ and if you are one of the unfortunate ones who needs help with that, i have a chart for you:

theretheyretheir

i found these fun ecards in an article titled, 10 Heartfelt Sentiments for National Grammar Day, which alerted me to the fact that its nationalness was today [pity we don’t get the day of, right? i guess that’s another one i don’t particularly enjoy!]

and this one is probably my favourite of the lot:

irony

especially because it sums up internet trolls so nicely…

in fact, now that i think about it, there is definitely a better one but i may have to go searching to find it [as the examples in that article are too much of rude – quick scurry as people head to article to confirm!]

there are a number of varieties, but the grandma one has always been my favourite and i would definitely wear this shirt if someone bought it for me:

grandma

and more:

and more – its and it’s seems to be another one that really gets to some people. John and me vs. John and i feels like an easy one to get right.

and i’m sure there are others i will think of later.

but to close off, let’s celebrate those who got it wrong even worse than you did:

and lastly, you should probably take note:

punctuation

but share with us some of your worst examples of Grandma gone bad?

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