I will not apologise for my ‘white privilege’.

This feels like an important part of the conversation to spend some time on and i would love to hear your response to this.

You may have seen the article by Princeton student, Tal Fortgang, titled ‘Checking my Privilege: Character as the Basis of Privilege’ that has been doing the rounds this week in which Tal [as an 18 year old, good to remember and hold in context] begins by explaining what his problem with the idea of ‘white privilege’ is:

I do not accuse those who “check” me and my perspective of overt racism, although the phrase, which assumes that simply because I belong to a certain ethnic group I should be judged collectively with it, toes that line. But I do condemn them for diminishing everything I have personally accomplished, all the hard work I have done in my life, and for ascribing all the fruit I reap not to the seeds I sow but to some invisible patron saint of white maleness who places it out for me before I even arrive. Furthermore, I condemn them for casting the equal protection clause, indeed the very idea of a meritocracy, as a myth, and for declaring that we are all governed by invisible forces (some would call them “stigmas” or “societal norms”), that our nation runs on racist and sexist conspiracies. Forget “you didn’t build that;” check your privilege and realize that nothing you have accomplished is real.

He then dives into a history of his grandparents fleeing when the Nazis invaded Poland and gives an account of various reasons why he doesn’t see that his heritage was one of privelege but rather worked for and passed down success and achievement.

My response in the comments section was this:

What an interesting piece, cos as much as i think the opposite to a large extent, i find myself nodding and agreeing and being left in a bit of a quandary – how can i agree with both sides of an opposing argument. Coming from South Africa [at the moment living in Americaland] i have been able to identify quite strongly with the ideas of white privilege, knowing that for years it was a legal system that raised one group way above another and that even though i was not responsible for putting that in place, i certainly live with benefits as a result – hopefully there will be a day when that is not true but that day is not now…

i have been recently blogging on all sorts of issues of race mostly inviting friends to share stories and opinions from different perspectives and it has felt really helpful – these are happening over here:

Taboo Topics: Conversations on Race

The piece that resonated the most from Tal’s piece above is this: “Behind every success, large or small, there is a story, and it isn’t always told by sex or skin color. My appearance certainly doesn’t tell the whole story, and to assume that it does and that I should apologize for it is insulting. While I haven’t done everything for myself up to this point in my life, someone sacrificed themselves so that I can lead a better life. But that is a legacy I am proud of.”

And i think that is definitely something we can hold on to. Yes there are generalisations and there is a reason why they exist and a lot of truth lies behind them. But not all truth. Each individual carries their own personal story and journey which is why perhaps the biggest part of moving forward in terms of racial unity and reconciliation is beginning with the stories of people and really taking time to listen to where they have come from and where they are going…

Maybe it is a case of “both…and”, rather than “either…or…”

But then i took a read of this piece by Daniel Gastfriend, titled, ‘Reflections on Privilege: An Open Letter to Tal Fortgang’, who while also having gone to Princeton, and sharing a similiar history in terms of his family experience to Tal, arrived at some different and more bigger-picture helpful-feeling conclusions:

One could take a number of different perspectives on how our family histories relate to the notion of privilege. Yours is understandable: Your ancestors fought relentlessly, and against all odds, to build a new life for your family. This is a legacy to be celebrated, and you should not feel guilty for their resilience or success.

But I find another angle more compelling. I grew up with a set of privileges of which my grandfather could only have dreamed. The injustices he faced — and the senseless lottery of birth that condemned him to such suffering — make me inclined to seek out inequality and injustice in whatever forms they take. Included among these are many of the structures that the phrase “check your privilege” means to challenge. While I agree this expression should not be used to silence anyone’s opinion, I believe it can make us more cognizant of the privilege that comes with our social position, how that privilege shapes our perspective, and the manifold obstacles that burden so many others which we never need face. Yes, it is possible to achieve prosperity in the face of such inequalities and worse, as our grandparents so remarkably did. This does not mean we should tolerate them.

and a little later:

What your piece misses is a recognition that, despite the successes of families like our own, harmful structural inequalities persist on the basis of class, race, sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity in the U.S. 

Daniel finishes off with a strong hopeful and challenging conclusion that includes the following:

Like you, I strive to carry on the spirit of my grandparents’ hard work. But I also know I have unfairly benefited from a society that favors affluent, white, heterosexual men. While this privilege is not the entire story of why I am where I am today, it does exist, as do the damaging inequalities that continue to fuel it. My family’s painful history does not nullify these injustices; on the contrary, it highlights the imperative to expose and erase them.

The first step to address injustice is to acknowledge the way it manifests in the world. I am privileged — in part due to the opportunities my grandparents provided me, but also in part due to my social position in American society. And in honor of my grandparents’ legacy, I refuse to be content with a society where equality of opportunity is still not extended to all, and where racism, sexism, and prejudice continue to exist — in any form.

It really is worth your time to read both of these articles in full before commenting and clearly they are both only parts of a much bigger story which we are hoping to understand a little more so we can know how better to love and learn from each other.

In fact, here is a third one, by a black women classmate of Tal’s at Princeton, Briana Payton, titled ‘Dear Privileged-at-Princeton. You. Are. Privileged. And Meritocracy is a myth.’ which is all sorts of good so go read it as well. She finishes with a moment of regarding her own privilege, which helps prove that she gets it a little more than Tal:

Even as a black woman, whose race and sex has posed unique and difficult challenges, I have done a privilege check. I am privileged to come from an upper middle class family, to belong to the religious majority and to have both my parents in the home. I acknowledge this because it allows me to empathize more with others and remain humble and grateful. Fortgang can do the same, and I highly recommend that he does. If he takes the time to really check his privilege, people will be able to tell, and maybe he won’t be instructed to do so again.

 

 

# i believe it will take an attitude of self-reflection in terms of questions like ‘Where am i guilty of racism/prejudice/stereotype?’ ‘How have i benefited from the systems around me?’ ‘What can i do/what do i need to change to help bridge the gap?’ as opposed to anything that looks like defensiveness, blame or self-preservation.

# i believe that one of the hugest parts of moving forwards in this is starting to hear stories and build relationships with people – as with most issues, the moment people we love are involved we tend to start taking them a little more seriously and being more prepared to wrestle and possibly even sacrifice or move towards

# at all times in this conversation we must hold tightly on to the fact that treating someone else badly because we were treated badly is not going to be the best solution – the question we should be asking is, ‘How do we build this new thing together well in a way that benefits us all?’

# we should try doing this around more meals – food brings us all together in ways that words sometimes can not… food and drink and laughter and stories…

 

 

[Just so much good stuff on this topic – another source of helpful commentary on this Tal post was from Rage Against the minivan, which you can find here]

[To catch up on some of the other conversations and stories happening with regards to Race on this blog, click here]

What 1.5 million balloons and the NYPD have to teach us about great non-profit and mission work…

Sometimes good intentions aren’t enough.

Take the New York Police Department, who in an attempt to foster better relations with the public decided on this great plan:

“Do you have a photo with a member of the NYPD? Tweet us & tag it #myNYPD. It may be featured on our Facebook,” the department posted on its NYPD News Twitter feed, hoping to fuel a feel-good, low-cost public relations campaign.

Or how about that time in 1986 when:

The whole crazy scheme – known as Balloonfest ’86 – was a fundraising effort organised by the United Way, an attempt to break the world record for simultaneous launch. Disneyland’s 30th Birthday, the year before in Anaheim, was the previous champion. 

 

Balloonfest 1986

Your friendly local NYPD man

What could possibly go wrong, right?

Except maybe THIS…

New York police Tuesday were eating extra helpings of humble pie after asking people to post images of themselves and NYPD officers on Twitter – only to face a deluge of pictures of alleged police brutality.[You can read the rest of the article and see some of the unfortunate pictures over here  in what has overnight become a PR nightmare of epic proportions].

Or perhaps THIS…

Then the “asteroid field” of airborne debris clouded the sky, shut down a runway at a local airport, interrupted the Coast Guard attempts to rescue a pair of fisherman, spooked some prize-winning horses, and generally made a mess of un-biodegradable [edit: apparently the balloons were biodegradable, for what it’s worth] garbage on land. [You can read and see more about this one over here,  including video of a news report from the following day].

Great ideas, but possibly not well thought through. This is an area that non-profits and churches involved in short-term mission trips could well learn from.

Books like ‘When Helping Hurts’ [Steve Corbett, Brian Fikkert] and ‘Toxic Charity’ [Bob Lupton] have started to open up the conversation that some of the well-intentioned activities we take part in may not always benefit those we are attempting to help, and at times may even cause more harm than good.

“Give a man to fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life. But at some point we also need to ask why the fishing licences are so expensive, who owns the fences around the pond and who has been polluting the pond.”

Great words, if lived out. But too often we get caught up in simply giving people fish [why? because it is easier, brings instant gratification and doesn’t require much personal cost and also everyone likes us when we give them fish and so it feels like we’re doing something helpful]

Jesus had some helpful words to say about this one:

²⁸ “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? ²⁹ For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, ³⁰ saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

³¹ “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? ³² If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. ³³ In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

Something about counting the cost.

Something about sharing ideas with other people because ‘You might not be the one with the most knowledge when it comes to this particular situation’.

Something huge about relationships and the importance of knowing, listening to and having some measure of understanding the people you are going to be working with.

Something about working with those who you might be doing outreach to as opposed to working at.

Something about long term investment, even if you are doing short term trips, possibly choosing an area and group you connect with on a recurring basis so that you can start to know, listen to better and understand the people and the context you are working with.

Something about possibly building relationship first [and possibly for a long period of time] before rushing in with help, assistance, things.

Something about good intentions being a great start, but sometimes, not enough, and sometimes not by a lot…

April’s Fool

i am not a big fan of April Fool’s Day. i know, i know, shoot me down.

And i’m not sure i can say what i want to say here without being labelled judgmental, so go ahead if you need to.

But it was brought to light to me why i am such a big fan of not being a fan of April Fool’s Day when i read my friend James’ description of it as ‘Happy International Being Deceived Day’ or something like that.

i mean there is the trick side to it right? i am typing this with blue fingers because someone in my house (and  won’t mention Aaron’s name) stuck blue food coloring in the tap somehow and i found that pretty funny. And i believe there is a line as to what is okay and what is not in terms of ‘being tricked’ and i have a fair number of friend who i love dearly who have a completely different idea of where that line might be. And that’s okay.

But then there is the deception side of it, which is really just the pretty word for lying, right?

PLEASE KEEP YOUR FAKE BABY CHILD TO YOURSELF

We are pregnant. Ha ha no we’re not. We just deceived you. That moment of happiness and celebration you shared with me, all just a joke. Ha ha you fell for it.

Yes, i did. Well done you. You successfully deceived me.

Ah, there you go with the judging. And I’m pretty much judging you for judging me, so if one of us doesn’t pull out of this soon somebody is going to start disappearing from their family photo ‘Back to the Future’ style if you don’t know what i mean (because you’re under 33 or something).

The pregnant one is a specific area of pain for me. And i saw it when I saw just who was liking the similar statement i made on the book of faces. Some friends of mine who have really been struggling to have a baby for a number of years. For some reason they didn’t find people pretending to be pregnant all that humorous.

But beyond that, for me honesty is one of the most important things there is. It’s something i place a high value on. And so well done on deceiving me, but you also broke trust with me. And that is a difficult one to earn back. Not because i’m going to hold a grudge and choose not to forgive you for April Fooling me. But because you broke trust. It’s broken. Broken things take some time to be put back together.

SORRY FOR YOU ME!

i got taken by one person on Facebook who posted an achievement or happening in their life that seemed legit and so i wrote a short message of celebration. A minute later someone who knew them better commented on how it must have been a joke because they would never do this thing. And i quickly snuck back in and deleted my comment. i was embarrassed. Wait a second? i was embarrassed for celebrating someone? For getting excited about their joy? Such a small insignificant moment of my day and yet it felt pretty huge.

my friend Steve Heineman summed it up nicely in his very clever status: ‘Man, I can’t wait until April Fools Day is over so we can announce some huge news…’

cos that’s it really, hey? you can’t trust anything today. any announcement has to be treated with caution, any news has to be really dissected to see if it is in fact real.

WE HAVE CREATED A WHOLE DAY WHEN WE CANNOT TRUST EACH OTHER

Well, that feels like a win. And i’m sure it does to a lot of you. And good for you. But for me it feels like we’ve lost something and so i look forward to tomorrow when everything is right with the world again. Well, this thing at least… Happy International Day of deception everybody!

the problem of Phelps

i was hoping to be able to get something out on this before Fred Phelps died, which apparently i failed to do.

Fred Phelps, pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church where we use the term ‘church’ loosely as nothing of what i ever heard them connected to sounded anything like the idea of church that i have come to know and love. 

An obvious indicator is that the website address of this ‘church’ is the unfortunate and not true GodHatesFags.com and Westboro are well-known for picketing LGBT events as well as military funerals.

The most unfortunate thing about this so-called church is that they were known so well for their ‘Hate’ – i’m not sure we ever got an idea of what they stood for or what they were about, but we certainly knew what they were against.

When i heard the news earlier this week that Fred Phelps was on his death bed, it did not give me cause for celebration as it seems to have given to some others.

As i read a variety of book of face statuses, it became quickly obvious that a lot of people were conflicted with how to feel or what to think [and then usually reading some of the following comments under each status i would quickly come across at least one person who found it a lot easier to get there] but for me it was quite simple:

If we are celebrating the death of this man, then suddenly it starts to sound and feel like something he would have been a part of. i had the same kind of response to scenes of Americans dancing in the streets when Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden were killed. Are we glad that the legacy of violence and hate and destruction is over? At least as far as that particular person is concerned. Absolutely. But to celebrate a death, especially one of such a tragic life, feels like we are starting to be on the wrong side of good.

Don’t get me wrong. Fred Phelps and the actions of the WBC made me so angry and sad on many occasions. They were an embarrassment to the church and fortunately in one sense so over the top that i don’t think too many people seriously associated who they were and what they did with the rest of us.

BUT… Our response has to be Love. Praying for his friends and family. Praying that in his final moments of life, he might discover the Love of Jesus that is so much more powerful than the hate he had been holding on to for so long. Praying for an opportunity for repentance and deliverance from evil. And now hoping and trusting that for those left behind, a revelation of God’s incredible Love and compassion for the whole world will be forthcoming.

THE DANGEROUS THEOLOGY

Now i don’t have any right to judge Fred. He will stand in front of God and have to give account for his actions. And i don’t have any idea what the state of his heart and soul was as he ended his life here and prepared for the one ahead. But there is a point that i think needs to be made, for those of us who are left behind. i read someone’s comments about now he will be in heaven and will have to dance with some of the christian gay people he hated his whole life and how ironic and glorious that will be.

The first question i have from that is, ‘Will he be in heaven?’ [and this sounds like a judgemental post perhaps, but please just follow me where i am going here]

First passage that came to mind was from Matthew 7:

21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

In fact, just a few verses earlier we read:

15 “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

What is fairly easy to see is that the work of WBC was definitely not ‘doing the will of my Father who is in heaven’ and that if we are going to be recognised by our fruit, that Fred Phelps and WBC are not obviously showing the fruits of the kingdom, with the fruits of the Spirit being highlighted in Galatians 5 as:

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited,provoking and envying each other.

Me talking about this now, has nothing to do with Fred Phelps any more. It has everything to do with me. And you. Because these are the same things that we are called to if we are followers of Jesus.

SOME TRUTHS TO CONSIDER

# It does not matter how much “stuff you do for God” if you stand in front of Him one day and His response is, “I never knew you!” 

# A tree is recognised by our fruit – if our lives are not displaying Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithhfulness and Self-Control, then we need to be asking if we are Spirit filled. And if we are not, then we are not followers of Jesus, simple as that.

# Fred Phelps had his chance and will one day stand before God and have to account for his life. Brett Fish Anderson [and you!] is still in the midst of his chance and every day gets to make fresh decisions on how this life thing will look like. That is the person i should be focusing on in terms of judging and holding up to the mirror of scripture.

In Matthew 22 we see Jesus asked about the most important thing:

35 One of them, an expert in the law,tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

And in John 13 we see Jesus sharing a new command for us all to follow:

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

And finally, there will be other Fred Phelpses and Westboro Baptist Churches – some will look really obvious, while some may be a lot more disguised and subtle in their approach. How we respond to them should perhaps be very much informed by reflecting on Jesus’ words of compassion and forgiveness spoken from the cross as He hung bloody and dying as well as this encouragement from the writer to the Romans, especially the last verse:

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Maybe now we will be able to come up with some more accurate signs:

Random acts of Neknominations.

It started with a #neknomination [well, let’s be honest – it likely started with a drunk Australian feeling like this was something he thought was a good idea for more people to do?]

an online video’d drinking challenge game where you “film themselves drinking a pint of an alcoholic beverage, usually beer, in one gulp and upload the footage to the web” [wikipedia] and then nominate two other people to do the same, paying it forward so to speak [where “it” was a silly drinking game that has caused the death of up to four different people so far] with the resulting nomination needing to take place within 24 hours.

then it hit South Africa and, in particular, a guy named Brent Lindeque who started out his #neknomination driving in his car and then turned the whole thing on his head by driving up to a guy begging on the side of the road and passing out a sandwich and a cooldrink to the man. the challenge was transformed into RAKnominations and South Africa responded in a big way by filming videos of themselves doing Random Acts of Kindness and challenging others to do the same.

inspired by my mate Howard Fyvie who went and sang to a group of senior citizens and handed out cake and had polaroid pics snapped with them and then being nominated myself by Jono van Deventer who Howie had passed it on to [after he paid for some random lady’s shopping and then serenaded her in Spanish at her car] i endured a hectically crazy busy day trying desperately to make my #neknomination happen to no avail until at 11.15pm i stumbled upon an idea that might work, filmed it and got it edited and uploaded by 7.45 the following morning with minutes to spare.

in my #neknomination that eventually happened, i had a brief conversation with a mate of mine, Richard Bolland, who had expressed some hesitation, particularly to the random and once-off nature of these acts of kindness, seeing them as a great start, but really feeling like if they just happened and were walked away from that maybe they were not the most helpful thing and how do we encourage people who are stepping up and doing great acts, but challenge them to get more deeply and long term involved to be agents of long-term real change?

MAKING A  DIFFERENCE vs SIMPLY MAKING A VIDEO…

this morning i awoke to find two that seemed to have longer term effects at least so it feels like we are getting closer:

Ashton Hayes joined in and his #neknomination stepped it up a gear, inviting the whole of South Africa to get involved in rebuilding the burnt-down roof of a house for a woman who looks after 14 children in a local township.

South African fast food chicken join Nandos joined the #neknomination train by renovating the kitchen and dining area at the Sithandiwe Disabled Day Care Centre just outside the Alexandra township.

DAVE GALE

My friend Dave Gale shares some of his hesitations with the whole RAKnomination vibe:

My main concern with the RAKnominations that have arisen as morphed versions of the drinking dare Neknominations is about motivation.  I’m not objecting to them or wanting to belittle the effort that people have gone to, just questioning what lies behind and drives the actions.

It’s a reaction to a public dare, so it naturally has elements of pride, fear and guilt as motivating factors. People are not so much called to act as they are driven.

Granted, it does force you out of your comfort zone, make you reach into your wallet, challenge your creativity and cause you to look someone less resourced in the eye while you bless them.  But then, most likely you’re gone, back into your world, apart from ‘theirs’.  If it changes you, causes you to linger in ‘their’ world, to get to know them, begin to share resources between you (who says it has to be only one-way traffic?), reduce that economic isolation gap between you, it is a whole different world.

The filming of it and publishing that film adds another dimension.  You need it to prove you really did do something and have earned the right to dare someone else to keep it going.  I understand that, but it feels a bit chain-letterish. Chain-videoish? There’s a new word for you.  Matthew 2 comes to mind.

It should not be about you or anyone else other than the people you feel God is calling you to bless.  It’s about relationship. It’s about resources God as father has placed in your hands. It’s about living in a manner as close as possible to what you’d imagine God would like his Kingdom to operate like.

So, a question I am asking myself of late is: “What does this kingdom of God look like and what is the commander’s objective in this whole kingdom-building deal?”

Best I stop criticising what others are doing, no matter what motivates them, and look to my own heart and actions.  Common Change for me provides an opportunity to begin changing my world, need by need. [where Common Change is the non-profit organisation i, brett, work for where groups of people share resources to empower people in their groups to walk alongside and assist their friends who are in need]

God bless Brett, and keep challenging us to question our motives and live this kingdom life to the full. 

RICHARD BOLLAND

I asked my mate Richard to write some thoughts on this:

“This week I have been sick with the flu. If I didn’t know any better I would walk to the medicine cabinet, pick 2 or 3 random bottles/pills and swallow them in the hope that it would cure me of my illness. Luckily I am wiser than that and have been taught which medicine to take or to visit a doctor and get a medicine prescribed to me.

We often view the poor in the same way and attempt to solve their problems without any knowledge of the consequences of our actions. We give diarrhea tablets to people with a cough and wonder why they’re not getting better or we give a panado to someone who’s broken an arm. Sometimes we even get offended when people correct us and in return shout: “But I gave them medicine, surely it helps in some small way!”. We don’t realize that sometimes we can be doing more harm than good or not solving the problem at all.

I’m hoping that my metaphor is working here and we see that we need knowledge before giving and if we don’t have that knowledge we need to seek it out. The ‘oath to compassionate service’ has really helped me gain that knowledge before giving out the “medicine”: We should never do for others what they have (or could have) the capacity to do for themselves. We should limit one-way giving to emergency situations. We should seek ways to empower through employment, lending, and investing. We should put the interests of the poor above my own self-interest even when it means setting aside my own agenda. We should listen closely to those we seek to help. My hope is that if we follow this oath we would do no harm to the people we are trying to help. “

Richard then referenced the first South African #neknomination video of the guy handing the food to the man on the corner:

The idea of basically handing out food to anyone who seems poor with absolutely no intention to build relationship or understanding. Its a good example of something being very good on the outside, but potentially damaging with no long term help. It’s such a grey area because it makes me feel good watching that video. But we’ve got to ask ourselves how much good it does.

Another good analogy I can think of is the starfish metaphor. Often people think ‘giving’ is like throwing a starfish back into the water. “but its making a difference to that one” When in actual fact all you’re doing to throwing a glass of water onto the starfish and saying that you’ve saved it.

NEKNOMINATE THIS

i don’t think Dave or Richard or myself are trying to slam people who have taken part in #neknominations [well except the drinking game people – stop being STUPID – you might be fine at it, but somewhere along the line you are going to challenge someone who isn’t and they will try and up yours and another person will be seriously injured or worse!] or at least the RAKnomination ones… but what we are saying is examine the motivation of the videos and the effect. even with something as amazing as helping rebuild a roof or fixing up the kitchen for a home – stay in contact, build relationship, look for where that person can help you , share stories, get invested and do whatever you do for a longer period of time.

let’s face it, at Common Change, which Dave referenced, we have a saying which goes something like this: It’s not that the rich and the poor don’t like each other, it’s that they don’t know each other. Get to know someone, hear their story and then suddenly you are not faced with random homeless guy, but Peter who is your friend. I tend to want to help my friends and walk journeys with them. Then we will start to see real change.

let’s face it – i am extremely proud that South Africans took a stupid drinking game and added life to it – the acts of kindness have been great, BUT it would be even so much greater if we were able to shift the momentum that has been grown through the RAKnominations and transform it into longer term acts of change that will benefit individuals, families and even whole communities… instead of a 24 hour timeline for creating a video, what if people started committing themselves to get involved volunteering for six months at a place of need in the community… and what if that spread?

i VFSMnominate you South Africa, let’s show the world one more time, that we can lead the way…

[i just watched this clip today which seems to be a lot closer to how these things can look – evidence of relationship already plus also partnering with an organisation that has long-term involvement and knowledge of the community and is made up of people living in the community – more of this please: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MfpfEgJQ_s]

updated 21 Feb: Here is an incredible clip by Shane Vermooten which gets to the heart of what I’m speaking about in terms of inspiring to long-term change and transformation – come on:

a plague on your ism…

so plagiarism has been on the menu of late, in christian circles anyways…

first up it was Mark Driscoll and various questions relating to work he copied or used from other sources… starting with a radio interview and then exploding into all sorts of articles and even some friendly tweets from ‘I kissed Rob Bell farewell’ tweetster, John Piper.

then David Rudd wrote this piece ‘In Defence of Plagiarism’ which referenced a recent occurrence of Rachel Held Evans work being plagiarised [the person later apologised] and Rachel jumped into the comments section of that to make it quite clear that she was not okay with people ‘stealing her work.’

various other celebrities and non celebrities jumped into the fray in different ways and forms and probably the best comment i have read in the whole conversation slash waging war was the one that said ‘the problem here is not plagiarism, it’s idolatry’ which resonates so closely with me – to me ‘christian celebrity’ is an oxymoron, or should be – any time we put anyone else on a pedestal that is not Jesus, we are bound for trouble soon. so maybe the problem here is not plagiarism, it’s celebrity? [runs and hides]

at the risk of being accused of plagiarising David Rudd, i should say that this will likely sound a lot like his, simply because i think to some extent i think the same thing, but i would love to air my two cents largely because i am just so bored and frustrated and ridiculoused out by all this online conversation and hopefully you have been able to miss the whole thing and so excuse my little rant.

i know this is not a popular opinion rant. especially among those who benefit off being the people able to call “Plagiarism.”

[and let me disclaim with the fact that i do feel that using someone else’s words and pretending they are your own is bad and silly and wrong and illegal for sure]

HOWEVER, my stance on this whole thing as far as i am concerned, is and always has been – if you want to use any of my stuff, go for it.

If it is Godly and worth using then i want as many people as possible to be reading what i write.

If it is all me and not worthwhile then i want as few people as possible to be reading it.

Problem solved.

And i have heard all the arguments and questions of ‘Oh yes, would you like someone to come and steal your car?’ and posturing and logic and so on, or it feels like i’ve heard them all – feel free to prove me wrong – but for me i have to ask what the heart of the writing is about?

If it is for the kingdom, then let go of the pride and the glory and the fame and the need for your name to be on the bottom of it and just celebrate that the kingdom is being preached.

And if it’s about making you look good, then at least be honest about it. Own the pride. Own the good feelings and identity and worthfulness you get from saving the world or transforming lives or whatever it is you are building up or breaking down. But just be honest.

My favourite book is a book called ‘No Compromise’ – the life story of a guy called Keith Green who i completely believe would be with me on this stuff – he used to infuriate ‘good, christian, musicians’ and worship leaders by giving his music away because, i don’t know, he believed [like i strongly, strongly do] that worship should be free. silly man.

i have written a book, which i do hope to somehow get published someday [called ‘I kissed hating [the church] goodbye’] and in the intro i pretty much disclaimed the likelihood of unintentional plagiarism in its covers simply because when i hear a good idea i often grab it and use it in a preach… and then after a while i have used it to often it suddenly starts to feel like it’s mine and i have no idea where it came from. can you imagine Jesus overhearing Paul referencing one of His parables and whispering down from heaven, ‘Hey Paul, don’t forget to mention you got that from Me?’ Nah, didn’t think so.

i love the notion of what Derek Webb has been able to do with Noisetrade in terms of music, where bands offer their music for free or a donation or even just a shout out – and so everyone has easy access to some great and often new music and there is the opportunity to pay-what-you-can or even to enjoy it for free but be telling others about it.

so, in summary:

taking someone’s stuff and pretending it is your own is bad [because i am such a not big fan of lying and that’s what that is, really]

writing stuff or creating art or music or poetry – be open-handed with it and let it get out there – why should just the rich and money-laden and privileged be able to get hold of your stuff

stop putting people on pedestals and christians, stop following the example and pattern of the world – we were called away from that. we can do so much better.

best worship song of the year? don’t get me started…

The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived? A tribute to Nelson Mandela.

So Nelson Mandela is dead.

And while it is a time of sadness and mourning in many ways, it is also a time of huge relief for many of us who watched him get really really old and then really really sick and we just wished him moments out of the spotlight and a time of finally being able to rest.

It has been interesting experiencing this time of his passing – like a Twin Towers moment, the question of ‘Where were you when it was announced that Madiba had passed on?’ will no doubt stick in many peoples’ minds and be the source of stories for years to come, especially as parents try to give their children a glimpse of who this man was and what he did for our country, and even the world.

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE NEWS OF MANDELA’S DEATH BROKE?

I was sitting on our bed at home and Val came in and shared the news and we quickly found the CNN commentary and sat for a couple of minutes which became hours listening to stories and watching pictures of his life and of those gathering outside his house dancing as a united group and heard people from around the world paying tribute.

Part of it seemed quite surreal being so far away and yet I felt strangely reassured by comments and status updates from other friends of mine from South Africa who are in the UK or Canada or some of my improv mates who are doing shows in Reunion Island – we formed part of this unspoken group, brought together by the fact that we experienced the moment and the occasion while not being close enough to see the effect around the country.

So many extreme reactions and statements and experiences and reflections flying around cyberspace and the social networking arena has also added such a eclecticnicity [it should be a word!] to the proceedings – from profound remembrances like this one of Bono sharing about the man who could not cry and this one by my friend Cara sharing about her experience of meeting Mr Mandela and the reminder that there is work to be done -to more insightful challenging ones like this one titled ‘Mandela will never, ever be your minstrel’ – through subtle yet honouring messages like this one by traditionally satirical website, The Onion, which tongue-in-cheekedly claimed that Nelson Mandela would be the first politician to be missed – through to the unfortunate and ridiculous of other less known satirical websites running stories as if they were reporting real events of Kanye West claiming he will be the new Nelson Mandela or the hoax tweet allegedly posted by Paris Hilton that Nelson Mandela’s “I have a dream” speech had been a huge inspiration to her – and to the horrific yet not-too-unexpected news that the Westboro Baptist ‘church’ are at it again and are looking to picket his funeral [which honestly feels like a life-shortening endeavour] to go alongside their ‘Mandelainhell’ hashtag.

Just so many thoughts and reactions and commentaries and sights and sounds.

THE LEGACY OR THE EXAMPLE?

A lot of people have spoken of the legacy of Nelson Mandela. While others [particularly in the comments sections of various articles – seriously that is where all the troll-breeding happens – comments sections are the modern day bridges of the village path that is the internet] have taken much delight in pointing out that we are still at or near the tops of the charts when it comes to murder and violent crime and rape and so on. And that certainly doesn’t feel like a legacy worth celebrating.

I guess there was definite legacy in the fact that Nelson Mandela, released from prison after 27 years, came out in such a humble, peaceful and forgiving way and that our first all-inclusive elections which historically should have been in the midst of a civil war, were so relatively peaceful and that the transition of government took place fairly seamlessly. Mandela’s attitude and stance seemed to play such a huge role in terms of transitioning in peace. So definitely some legacy there.

But when I think of legacy I think of the idea of inheritance, of what has been left behind. And while that does include a lot of good, it also includes a lot of mess. Unfortunately, for the most part, the politicians and presidents that followed Mandela do not seem to be a huge part of that legacy. Stories of corruption, greed and nepotism break almost weekly and threaten to send South Africa the way of so many other countries.

When I look at those things, I imagine a lot of them must have made Nelson Mandela sad. I wonder how much hope he had for the nation when he watched as those, he stepped quickly out of the way of power for, did not seem to follow a lot of what he was about…

And so that is why I think I would rather choose the word ‘Example’ over that of ‘Legacy’ because that is really what we are hoping the current government and future leaders and the younger people growing up in South Africa will take on. And just like any analogy is only as strong as the point it is making, so it is important for us to remember that Nelson Mandela was not perfect, he was not a saint [which he said countless times himself [‘I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.’] and he certainly was not a Messiah [there has been and only ever will be one of those] but we can learn so much from the aspects of his life that were worth celebrating and definitely worthy of emulating in our own.

When I think of Mandela, what stands out for me was the joy with which he seemed to embrace life and freedom and leadership. He really seemed to be such a huge figure who was just able to be. His almost naughty-at-times sense of humour, his powerful and mesmerising laugh, the way he reached out to people and gave them time and attention and looked them directly in the eyes. His dancing. That stands huge as a memory of him I will hold on to for a while. The Madiba sway – hands in fists, African shirt, side to side motion with a huge smile on his face as he commanded the rhythm of the music.

THE GREATEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

Was he the greatest man who ever lived? No, I don’t think so. Firstly because I believe that title goes to Jesus Christ. And secondly because I strongly imagine that the majority of the greatest men and women who ever lived, hardly anyone will ever know about – because they served and they loved and they gave their lives quietly behind the scenes, out of the spotlight, with no recognition, simply because they knew it to be the right thing to do. Did Nelson Mandela do some great things and demonstrate an incredible example and achieve a whole lot of good? Absolutely. We should never forget that, but we should also always hold that in perspective. Whenever you put a human being on a pedestal, at some point it is bound to crumble and crash to the ground. Because we are all flawed and messy. And therein lies what is worth celebrating – that despite his flaws and brokenness and messiness [and there was definitely that- both before and after prison] he was able to inspire and give hope and make some bold moves and express a whole lot of love.

Which, after all, is the greatest thing anyone can ever do. Love, and love well.

Rest in peace Mandela. Thank you for the example.