Taboo Topics: Race – Meet The Panel

I am very excited to introduce this Panel of Race Experts… and by ‘Race Experts’ i mean friends of mine who happen to be from a variety of different race group backgrounds and are not claiming to be experts or to speak on behalf of their particular race in any way, shape or form. I have invited them to be on this panel because they are people who i respect and who are passionate about live and living well and South Africa and diversity, unity and a whole lot more. And so i thought having a bunch of different opinions and thoughts and ideas on some race-related questions might be hugely helpful in terms of getting these conversations going.

So without any further more ado about nothing, let me let them introduce themselves in the order in which they submitted their bios to me:

Tasha Melissa Govender: “I’m Tasha, a 27 year old female living, working and loving in beautiful South Africa! I find myself flitting between my day job of Social Media Branding Ninja and struggling-writer-waiting-to-be-noticed by night. The reasons I’ve been so keen to get involved in this discourse are varying. The most prominent being that I’m incredibly proud of my country’s history and the amazing strides our nation has made to right so many wrongs; and only by discussing issues, confusions and breaking away from stereotypes can we truly begin to move on. Chatting is healthy, we should do it more! And with a healthy dose of laughter, good humour and non-judgement will we begin to understand that whilst we may not look the same we’re all pretty much going through the same human experience. So excited!”

Tristan Pringle: I am a 20 something guy trying to figure out what it means to be a child of God. In the process I’m still learning how to respond to Jesus’ call to love God and to love people. I am totally in love with my fiancée Jess and together we plan on changing the world. My day job for the last while has been working in management at a law firm but soon I’m quitting the corporate world and starting to work for the church.

My passion for topics of a racial nature stems from my belief in a world where we can be just who we are without being ashamed of it. For 100’s of years there has been intentional division, along racial lines, by kings,empires and governments and it has deceived us into believing that the colour of our skin is an accurate descriptor of character, skill, wit and value. Off course all these are lies. We can only start to live in the truth when we are honest firstly with ourselves and then with others. And so we need a platform for fresh, honest and frank gospel charged discussions. If heaven is for every tongue, nation and tribe then we best start getting along because eternity is forever and your neighbour may be black.

John Scheepers: I’m John.  I’m 38 years old.  That makes me old enough to remember apartheid and too young to remember life without TV.  I drink my coffee too strong and talk too loudly.  I married way above myself and am the father to two boys.  They come with sound effects included in case you were wondering.  I rest my soul by walking on the mountain and raise my heart rate by watching Liverpool FC. 

I work for the East City Initiative.  A community outreach ministry based in the east city area of Cape Town with a particular focus on young people and addicts. 

Martin Luther is supposed to have said, “If you preach the gospel in all aspects with the exception of the issues which deal specifically with your time- you are not preaching the gospel at all.”  Racial reconciliation is at the heart of my faith because the Bible story is from beginning to end the story of the restoration of all things in Christ.  It is about the restoration of true humanity and dignity, about the reconciliation of people to God and to one another.  We follow Jesus, the truly superior one, who did not stand on his own rights or privileges but instead laid down his life so that we might find life.  To follow this Jesus in a South African context means that, according to Martin Luther, if we do not speak to issues of racial and social reconciliation we do not preach the gospel at all.  May God have mercy on us!

 

 Busi Ledibane: My name is Busi and I’m a student currently in my third year of a Bachelor of Theology in Community Leadership. 

I find it difficult to describe the type of person that I am but I think that there are a few things I can mention that most people who know me well would agree with. I am quite serious, sometimes a little too serious but I can be fun and goofy too 😉 I would have to know and feel comfortable around you though.

I am also very passionate about social justice, social development and South African politics. 

I am proud to be a South African. I am aware of the painful past of my country and I’m not afraid to engage in conversation about it. However, I’m also aware of how far my country has come and how far it still needs to go not just economically but socially and that’s why I want to get involved in this conversation about race. 

We are not completely healed and we need to admit that and only then can we move on. My hope is that while this will be a difficult conversation to have, it will ultimately lead to a point where we can see one another’s humanity and see how we are all the same; how we are indeed equal. 

But that kind of thing doesn’t happen overnight and that’s why we need to talk. Now.

Tony Nzanzah: My name is Tony Nzanzah and I am married with two children. I am passionate about life which entails getting to grips with issues that we would rather avoid in life. I strongly believe in principles of ‘ubuntu’ that celebrate the cohesion than individuality. The best way to find each other as people from different cultures is to take the time to listen to one another and after listening to apply those community building values.

 Caley Daniels: I’m a student of Language and Culture at Stellenbosch University. None can deny the weight of race-related things of our past as a country. And since human kind has a tendency to look at history but not learn from it, I feel it is important to look at where we are (in terms of race, discrimination, prejudice, diversity, acceptance etc) as a people (especially as young people) so that we know what we stand for and therefore what to fight for. (a cord of 3 (or 51.19 million) is not easily broken.

 

i have given them the first round of questions that you [the people out there] submitted and they are working furiously on them and hopefully within the next week i will have some answers to share with you…

In the meantime if you want to take a look at some of the posts written for me already by Tasha, John, Busi or Caley, then simply click any of their names here and do some catching up…

THE QUESTIONS [click on the to be taken to the answers]

[1]  “As South Africans, in 2014, how do we begin to frame our identities (as whites, blacks, coloureds etc) in a young democracy with such a long and deep history of racial hatred and discrimination?”

[2] When, if ever, will it be OK to be “over” apartheid? If possible put a number of years to your answer.

[2] We have seen our country go down hill. We have watched apartheid in reverse . reconciliation is fantasy. All that happens is now the blacks control and the whites still suffer and get the blame. With real reconciliation there would be tolerance and forgiveness. Instead as whites ,we are now wrong. How would you address this?

[4] Why do black men feel it’s okay to blatantly hit on/harass me? Is it a cultural thing ie. they hit on all young looking women on their own regardless of race/culture OR is it because I am of another race that my status as “other” makes me more “desirable” and less worthy of respect? If it’s cultural and “the norm” maybe I would feel less violated and nervous? 2nd question maybe for black women – how does one respond in these situations?? Cos I would give a white guy a sarcastic cut down…

Be the Significance

a short while ago i stumbled on to this link about these 2 college students who snuck into an empty classroom and then did some incredibly creative stuff.

i can only imagine the effect it would have had on the students. the anticipation that it would have built up in the whole school of which class is going to be next, what saying is going to appear, how is it going to look and all of that.

a very simple act yet i imagine it had a deeply profound effect on the majority of people in the school – bringing smiles and inspiration and energy to add to whatever is already going on in that school.

THERE’S A NEW GANG IN TOWN

sadly, i have only joined them three times since being in Oakland, but yesterday i was connected once again to the amazing work they do through this article. tbV and i live in East Oakland in 61st Ave which has its fair share of gunfire outside our apartment, but it is closer to 80th and 90th where things get a little more shady. It’s called the Oakland night walk and happens every Friday night where a group of roughly 50 people from different churches and community groups [and many not from this part of Oakland] gather at one of four rotating churches and then head out on the streets to walk in two big groups to promote piece. no specific agenda or message for the people they encounter along the way, except to say we care about this neighborhood and we want the violence to stop. presence on the streets – and the murder [and i think general crime] rate in the area, has dropped considerably since they started in October two years ago.

 WHAT CAN I DO?

i read some stories from South Africa yesterday of violence which has become all too ‘normal’ and it is so easy to become disheartened and leave like so many people have. it is hard to blame them, when there are countries they can go to [especially if they have children] where they and their family can feel safe and not have to live in constant fear that something might happen.

i get it. that is a natural response.

but another response, especially for those of us who feel a special pull towards South Africa [and believe me, despite living in Americaland for the last three years doing non-profit work, the pull has always been to South Africa] is to seek to be a part of the change we want to be. a significant change. in both the movies Antz and ‘A Bug’s Life’ the majority of small, weak bugs are being bullied by the minority of larger, more aggressive bugs and in the end, the smaller ones win simply through strength of numbers and through standing together.

i am convinced that those who want South Africa to be a great country are in the majority. but we feel small and weak and powerless and something significant will only happen once we band together and figure out what that looks like. i don’t believe that violence to curb the violence is the answer [or even military or police force or weapons or anything like that] – i believe it is creativity and unity that will help bring about the difference.

looking at the two examples above, one is an example of incredible creativity and gifting – i cannot for the life of me draw like that, and if it is up to my artistic creative skills, South Africa is doomed. but i can walk. as can most of the people i know. but i also know an incredible amount of people who can draw well. and so maybe it’s both. the incredibly creative and gifted and skilled… and those who just show up and say, “I am here!” if we can figure out what it looks like for these South African ants to rise up in peaceful defiance against the bullies and the violence and the corruption, then maybe there is a lot of hope for my country.

how are you being significant? what stories do you know like the ones mentioned here of things already happening in South Africa? we need to be hearing more of these as they will bring hope and help rally the troops and inspire and life and give ideas and together we can see it start to happen. 

Taboo Topics: Race – Identity and What makes me me?

Here are simply a collection of stories from people who have lived in countries or areas of diversity and have a race theme to a part of their story which they have so graciously decided to share with us:

Meet Deborah Dowlath [Trinidad and Tobago]

Meet Kevin Lloyd James Lok [South Africa]

Meet Caley Daniels [South Africa]

Meet Susan Hayden [reblog of ‘Disco Pants & a Mountain’ post]

Taboo Topics: Race – White Guilt – Meet Noloyiso Lange

I woke up on election day, my thumbs ready to be inked and itching to say something to challenge people to get up and vote seeing as a friend of mine  had just expressed disinterest in politics and thus voting itself.

As I lay in bed contemplating if it would be better to sleep the morning away and vote later, my brother sent me a message; a speech  allegedly delivered by PW Botha in 1985. In a nutshell, the speech ( which turned out to be fake)  justified why apartheid was good, how whites were superior to blacks as God intended ( yes, God) and how foreign countries supported this concept.

The stuff about black people only being good enough to make a noise and have sex really got my blood boiling. I got so angry that I immediately got up and went to vote in an attempt to prove myself better than what that speech was saying about me as a black person.

In an attempt to cause the same stir in my fellow darkies, I posted the speech to my Facebook. BIG MISTAKE! An Afrikaans friend of mine politely pointed out that the speech is fake and that it was released during the last elections. I didn’t realise that and I admitted as much. We went on to talk about how sad it is that there are still people who carry these principles in our society and concluded that we had no time for racists.

What followed was a heated comment from another Afrikaans friend who was clearly offended by my loading the  speech without verifying its authenticity and social irresponsibility at posting something that had little to do with our country’s current issues of corruption etc.

It didn’t end there. This friend went on to post a status on his own wall ( in Afrikaans) in which he encouraged his friends to read what I posted and expressed his disgust ( again) at my irresponsibility. We had some words and I realised something. This guy, underneath it all, felt guilty about  what apartheid did to [all] of us. He hated that I brought it up because it triggers something in him as though he played a role in what happened. He had me for a moment; until a number of my [white]friends came to my defense pointing out the white guilt that had reared its ugly head. These guys were not angry about what I’d posted and saw his reaction for what it was – A white guy trying to appear good to everyone so that they don’t see what he hides in his heart.

In a nutshell, I think its time we throw this ” I don’t see colour” rubbish out the window. I am black and you are white and we are friends and most importantly, we see it! Whether you were part of apartheid or you reject its principles, you don’t need to prove yourself worthy to me. I don’t want you to speak my mother tongue and listen to house and kwaito music.  I will not be afraid of you because you have a thick boer accent and you prefer your veldhoed and boeremusiek.I, in turn am not going to strive to be polite, or use my inside voice or speak fluent Afrikaans to prove that I have been tamed like a chimp. These are just the masks we put on so that we can survive a night out on the other side of the fence.

 

[To catch some more of the multi-faceted conversation we have been having on all things Race-related, click here]

[To read some stories of Mixed Race and Culture Relationships, click here]

Taboo Topics: Race – Don’t be colour blind, be colour brave!

i just watched this TED talk by a woman called Mellody Hobson on the introduction of a topic she called ‘Colour Braveness’

While the focus of the clip is very much from a ‘The American Dream’ point of view, and so doesn’t necessarily have the end point i would focus on [become a CEO of a company!] there are some interesting and helpful points she raises and so it is well worth a viewing…

Some lines that stood out for me were the following:

“Surround yourself with people don’t look look like you, who don’t think like you, who don’t act like you and who don’t come from where you come from” – this is such a powerful idea and i have been inspired over the last year in particular to seek out writers and speakers who are quite different from me [race, culture, background] so as to hear a different voice from the majority of voices i might have heard growing up [typically white male] not because there is anything wrong with white male voices, but definitely because there is a richness that comes from being informed by a variety of sources and influences. “They will challenge your assumptions and help you grow as a person.”

Mellody finished off by challenging the audience to be brave, colour brave, “so that every child knows that their future matters and their dreams are possible.”

 

 

[For a growing list of exciting topics and stories relating to different aspects of Race, click here]

Taboo Topics: Race – Mixed Race Connections – Meet James Davis and Sherrell Nesmith

American-African meets African-American.

 

We met at university; both of us were on student leadership for our respective halls. Sherrell’s from Durham, NC. James is from Cape Town, South Africa (Well, mostly). Naturally, there are a lot of cultural differences we’ve discovered along the way. For starters, we have different likes and dislikes, some of them diametrically opposite each other, ranging from the superficial, like our tastes in music and to how we like to spend our free time, to the more complex, like our outlook on life and how we grew up.

 

We’ve had our conflicts over these last two years of dating, but what couple doesn’t. The source of these conflicts, however, hasn’t been race, but things in our lives that we’ve needed to work on, things we needed to mature in. Our church has played a large role in that: supporting and mentoring us separately and together, providing us with examples of successful multi-racial couples, and giving us a place to worship with people of other ethnic groups.

 

That’s not to say we don’t have outside problems relating to each other’s backgrounds. Only recently, have we begun to meet each other’s extended families. They’re all from the American South, so there’s good deal of  apprehension based on history. Between each other, however, we’ve chosen to look beyond our races. That doesn’t mean we ignore where each other comes from – to do so would be an offense on our identities. Instead, we see our differences and choose to work from there. We choose to see what makes each other unique and celebrate it. Sometimes, it’s pretty goofy.  At other times, it’s a wonderful time of growth and learning.

 

Most importantly, though, is our commitment to God. It truly is the love of God that allows us to love each other as boy- and girlfriend and, hopefully, as husband and wife. This should be the linchpin of any relationship, whether you’re multi-ethnic, all-white, all-asian, or all-black. To accept each other’s cultural differences, skin tone, and perspectives, put God first, each other second, and yourself last.

 

[For other stories of Mixed Race and Culture Connections, click here] 

Taboo Topics: Race – Mixed Race Connections – Meet Beth Lee Jooste and Ockerd Ojay Langeveldt [Engaged]

Hi brett. I saw you put up a request for inter- racial relationship stories: here’s a bit of mine:

in 150 days i’m marrying my best friend and the love of my life. He is coloured and i’m white and we are the best for each other.

When I look at him I don’t see my culture or his – I see two people working out life with a different approach and mentality… this goes beyond our cultures and the bounderies it sets us in. We met here at a christian art school and couldn’t be more different in personality. He is waffle and i’m spaghetti… our first year of friendship was filled with misunderstandings, fights and frustrasions which we think back on and laugh at now. I couldn’t understand why he was so rigid and he couldn’t understand why I was so scatterbrained. I look back now and see we couldn’t be more right for each other.

It’s actually quite funny when you go to his house everything is quiet…. when at my house it’s the complete opposite. Many people would have thought it was the other way round. You see, culture has a big part to play in the way you grow up and many times shapes your view on life… but i’ve learned there is ultimately one culture that should shape me and that is kingdom culture where we understand who we are in Christ which supersedes the limitations of this world.

Many people ask me how my mom feels about it, and she couldn’t be more delighted. She loves him as her son and i believe it’s got alot to do with what she imparted to me that I can love beyond borders, colour or culture… I believe from when i was young that I knew in my heart I was born for nations and was going to marry cross culturally. It has not always been easy but like every couple we worked through the same relational stuff. I do believe some people find cultural differences bigger than others, but in my case it wasn’t difficult. With his family i feel so at home and part of his family…

Some funny moments: When I was speaking to an afrikaans girl and replied, “rerig” and before I knew it I said it like a coloured “rerig”. It was so funny, needless to say, I quickly corrected myself but was hosing myself on the inside.

He loves fast cars and hip hop and loves his sound booming from his speakers, he has an impecable taste in fashion , and loves to dance – these are things he grew up with and i would never want to change. We have been best friends for 5 years and now we’re getting married! I feel like the most blessed woman alive.

About 5 years ago he had this gold chain. He used to wear it over his ties. The one day I saw him wearing it and I teased him about it.. . Last year I asked him so what happened to that chain and he told me how this girl went up to him the one day and teased him about it so he stopped wearing it… of course I had forgotten about what happened but as he told me his story I realised that that girl was me…

 i have not noticed any moments of being judged or stared at… when i’m walking with my friends they’ve said that people stare – mostly because it challenges them on their boundaries and they are unfamiliar… but i honestly can say i’m blind to it when it happens…

[To read more stories on the topics of mixed race and culture connections, click here]