Stories of Hope: Interview with The Message – Affecting the community and changing lives

Message South Africa is part of the Message family which is a worldwide movement that exists to share the Christian message with hard to reach young people through Prisons Ministry, Community Transformation and Christ-Centred Enterprise.

I had the privilege of sitting down with three of the local members to talk a little bit about the impact they are having and hear some of the challenges and opportunities that have opened up. Jess is the Message Enterprise Project Manager and helped give me a bit of an understanding of what The Message is all about.

The Message has a strong focus on engaging with people holistically, realising that it can be dangerous to compartmentalise a person [prison life vs normal life, relationship life vs business life etc] as all areas of life are integrated and affect each other. Particularly when it comes to the work they do in prisons, they see it as essential that intervention within the prison walls can be largely meaningless without following it up with a focus on employment needs when they are released.

The Message South Africa currently works in four areas:

# Prison Outreach – with the main focus of work being done at Drakenstein through an entrepreneurship program that 27 young men are currently involved in. This program has a very strict entrance interview process to really try and ensure that participants are serious about it.

# Community Transformation – Eden teams are formed by individuals and families and move into an area not normally considered as a place people will choose to move into, and through building relationship with their neighbours, find ways of getting involved in community upliftment while continuing with their regular lives.

# Creative Mission – The Message looks to use the arts to inspire and connect with young people on a deeper level. They currently has a band called Kinetic IV that reaches out to communities and schools through dancing, rapping and singing.

# Enterprise – The Soft Machine is the first vehicle that The Message is using as a means of providing employment for ex-prisoners who have gone through their programs. Within the next two months they are hoping to launch an exciting new brand [they are calling a ‘Redemptive Enterprise Brand’] covering a number of microenterprises, including a clothing and a furniture range, with more to follow in the future.

I then had an opportunity to talk with Jade [centre] and Siphe [far right], two former prisoners who are the first hired staff and are presently responsible for the running of The Soft Machine, a mobile business that sells gourmet soft-serve, made from fresh natural ingredients, at various local events.

I asked them about some of the Challenges they faced coming out of prison and looking to re-establish themselves as part of society.

It depends on the individual. Particularly the kind of support structure you have when you come out. It can be quite easy to go back to your old ways as it is more of a natural flow. The high stats of those being released from prison going back to prison are not simply because the individual didn’t mean it but because so much is stacked up against you.

One of the challenges is the different structures that exist inside. For example, you have someone who turns the lights on and off for you. So you can get used to the routine.

You are constantly being reminded about your sentence. A big challenge is being taken out of an environment you know and being placed into a new one.

People don’t believe in you. You feel the need to prove yourself on the outside. You learn to quickly understand that people are always watching you. And people can be impatient with you. The same people who will be judgemental towards you are also not providing the platforms to help you succeed.

The stereotypes people hold on those coming out of prison. Once you have a criminal record, there is not much hope for you.

I asked them to share about some things that had made it easier for them in their personal journeys.

While in prison I built a circle of people I could connect with, who were mostly Christians running different courses in prison. The relationships built while in prison helped form some of that support structure when I was on the outside.

Taking small opportunities while in prison helped to build up hope. There is not much opportunity to be in control of something or manage something while on the inside and so any time that opportunity came in any way, just seizing it and making the most of it really helped a lot.

Having an employment opportunity straight after prison helped a great deal as that is unheard of.

Coming out was an opportunity to quieten down the voices that tell you constantly that you are not good enough or remind you why you got there in the first place or that you won’t succeed.

Those who come out and make something of themselves really give hope to those who are left behind. It’s like we are paving the way for them to succeed when their turn comes.

We chatted a little about the concept of having trust given to you before it was in a sense earned and Siphe and Jade both spoke about the process they had gone through.

We were part of a Soccer Program in prison which included soccer trials and the opportunity to compete as you would on the outside. This space [being inside with all the other prisoners] acts as a sort of incubator – it tests your character and shows what you are truly made of. This becomes a bigger challenge once you are released but at least you have had that time already to show what you can accomplish.

Then there is the MEP [Message Entrepreneurship Program] which is the course run inside the prison. At the moment it has been being run for six months, but the idea is to eventually extend it to first 8 months and then a year. There is a vigorous process of selection and it works as a continuous mentorship program as well as creating the opportunity once you are outside of the prison to stay connected and be mentored and hopefully the opportunity for employment down the line.

Siphe and Jade are the first two who have had some experience of this program and so I asked them what kind of responsibility they felt in terms of paving the way for those who will follow.

For the most part we see the positives in being pioneers of this path. One benefit has been the opportunity to go back with the MEP course in prison and to bring hope by sharing about life on the outside. We have taken the opportunity to remind those still in prison to seize any opportunities that they get while they are inside and to really focus on the small things available and then to build from there. Often when you are inside you have this idealistic end point idea that maybe you want to be the CEO of a company and we can help them to break it down into reachable goals and remind them that it is a step by step process that will take a lot of time and patience.

From the business perspective, The Soft Machine started out as we did and so as it has grown so we have grown. It was ridiculously stressful at times as we were thrown into the deep end and pretty much trying to figure out how this thing worked together as we progressed. But when we look back and see how far we have come, then we can really appreciate that that was a strength, even if it didn’t always feel like it at the time.

One thing we have realised is the importance of people who will stand in the gap for you and take a chance, believing in the lost and the least. We now also know that we can be those people for others and that is a source of joy.

I had a really great time just chatting to Jade and Siphe, hearing a little of their stories and just experiencing some of the vibe they carry with them as they work together under The Message. These are definitely two passionate young men who know what they stand for and where they are going and they are looking to help as many other people around them to succeed on the way as they possibly can. One last thing that stood out for me from our conversation was this:

Society doesn’t understand the huge part it plays in seeing people go back to prison.

That line really struck me. It is easy to look down upon and judge and be suspicious and feel all righteously justified when an ex prisoner ends up going back to jail, but if we are not choosing to be a part of the solution, then we are a part of the problem. I think our prisons have a long way to go before they move from being places that are punitive [punishing] to places that are restorative [creating opportunities for change] but I am relieved that organisations such as the Message and passionate individuals like Siphe, Jade, Jess and others are involved.

You can get hold of The Message Trust to find out more about what they do as well as contact the Soft Machine to book them for an upcoming event via the following links:

The Message Trust  [info@message.org.za]

Gangstar Enterprise Development

The Soft Machine

Follow The Soft Machine on Facebook, The Twitterer and Instagram

Who is Going to LEAD SA?

South Africans are used to hearing bad news. We see it strewn across the front of newspapers, on our social media feeds and even hear it from our friends and neighbours.

But is that the only story? Back in February i started a series titled, ‘One person who Gives me Hope in South Africa is…’ and was super encouraged to see a number of you sharing stories about someone you know who is busy making a difference.

i recently stumbled upon the LEADSA initiative on the Twitterer @lead_sa with over 148 thousand followers and another 65 thousand to be found on their Facebook group. With that much support it is clear that the positive stories are very much out there and this is one great place to find them.

As they declare on their site: “YOU can change the world. Lead SA is a personal call to every person to make a difference. We all have a responsibility to make the world a better place. It could be as simple as making a stranger smile or as big as fighting to further the rights entrenched in our Constitution. Each act makes a difference. This website tells the stories of people who are making our country a better place.”

Every month LEADSA highlights a Youth Hero of the Month, from nominations that you can give via the site. In June it happened to be 6 Youth Hero’s as the focus was on 6 grade six girls from Micklefield Primary School, who started a bracelet selling business for their EMS subject at school for the purpose of raising funds to sponsor a child for a year’s care at the Christine Revell Childrens Home [R9600].

Luke Links is another grade 6 people, who at eleven years of age, was inspired by an English lesson on LEADSA to mobilise his whole school into donating non-perishable items to a night shelter, run by the local Bellville Presbyterian church.

One hundred and seventeen pages of Inspirational Stories can be found on the LEADSA.co.za site as well as news of projects they have been involved in and a series of pages to help inspire you in a number of ways you can be part of making positive change in South Africa. And also the all important tab for nominating a young person that you have noticed doing something significant in your community to possibly win Youth Hero of the Month.

In fact, it was just the other day [4th August] that LEADSA celebrated 5 years of existence and really seems to be picking up steam now. From a #StopRapeCampaign to a #NoToXenophobia lead vigil, and from a #MissingChildren installation to the #TeamUpToCleanUp campaign, it seems there is no end to the number of exciting and transformative projects that LEADSA is helping inspire and draw attention to.

As LEADSA reminds us on their site:

It is overwhelming to think about all the campaigns and projects we have done over the years, the many organisations we have partnered with, the citizens we have met and how quickly the time passed.

We will continue to promote the philosophy of active citizenship.

It is thanks to many ordinary citizens that we stand five years later – stronger, more determined and infinitely inspired to continue building a South Africa that we can all be proud of.

You don’t need to walk on the moon in order to bring about positive change, but rather that whether an act is big or small, incredibly personal and painful, or simply uplifting, the impact can be massive.

i have to say i am thoroughly inspired and excited for this growing movement that seeks to focus heavily on the positive news and change that is happening around us, rather than doom and gloom us all into abject depression. Here’s to you LEADSA as you continue to inspire, raise up young heroes and call us all towards being Change Agents in our country.

[For other posts looking at South Africa and some of the positive ways ahead, click here]

The Power of a Gr-Attitude

i somehow got into two Facebook argumersations yesterday at the same time. TWO! i can’t remember that happening before. i usually try pick my battles one at a time, but somehow, two different articles i shared, generated two different fairly strong push backs.

Which i love. i love it when people push back and are genuinely committed to the conversation and engaging and not simply being trolls or palookas. But sometimes [especially when it’s people i don’t know so well] it is hard to tell. So i continue to engage while i think there is some point to the conversation [and as i’ve probably written before, often i am writing more for those who are looking on at the conversation as they tend to be more likely to change their mind or be affected by what is shared] and for me it really is a deep search for truth. A truth i typically have a strong belief in [otherwise why bother engaging] but also one that is in the midst of being wrestled with and grown and adapted as it is challenged by what i read, experience and by what people say.

BUT IT CAN BE REALLY HARD. And lonely. And so when a second person joined in to the one conversation and said some things backing up what i was saying, it felt like the hugest breath of fresh air and after a few posts i actually jumped on her Facebook page and simply said – thank you.

But like i said, it can be really hard. Is this going to make any difference? Am i really right about the things i am arguing strongly for? Why doesn’t this person see that they are wrong [if they are]? Is this person being genuine or are they a troll or someone who doesn’t even really care about this stuff.

Both conversations yesterday related to Race and Privilege in South Africa, two topics i care so much about and which affect so many people i am in relationship with [well they affect everyone in South Africa but there are a lot of my friends that are deeply invested in this conversation and life going forwards] and i have put a whole lot of time into research and reading and listening and watching and trying to understand. Does that mean i’m the expert? Absolutely not. But it means i’m deeply invested in this stuff and quite often the person arguing has not put as much into this particular conversation’s journey. Also if i have five of these in one week [one per day plus the weekend off] then at the end of the week each of the people i have been chatting to have had one and probably feel completely fresh and yet i have invested in five and feel completely exhausted. Especially cos often it feels like i am alone or in the minority of people who are prepared to invest in this way.

A lot of people think i’m wasting my time engaging. Or engaging so often and so deeply. And so obviously that question constantly swirls around my head as well. What difference is this going to make?

Well, this morning i received an email from a friend who shared some thoughts about one of the conversations i have been involved in. They shared what it meant to them personally and they shared some insight into their personal friendships with white people and other spaces of wanting to and trying to engage with these kind of situations.

It was one of the most powerful emails i have received in my life. Both in terms of encouragement but also a lot of punch-in-the-face reality call about “life out there” for many people. More than anything it gave me the encouragement and the boldness to carry on.

i don’t always get it right. i am certainly not a Race, Reconciliation and Privilege expert in any way. But i believe this conversation is so vitally important in South Africa right now [Americaland has its own very similar conversation that white people seem hesitant to get involved in, possibly because of the potential cost involved there] and so i’m not going to stop any time soon.

But i do hope more people who feel the same kind of passion and heart for the topic will jump in more. And i do hope we will create more conversation spaces around meals, face to face, and within our friendship groups that there can be safe space to speak about uncomfortable and sometimes awkward topics such as these. We have a long walk to go before any kind of everyone-freedom is realised and the more of us that commit ourselves to the conversation and the ensuing action, the better…

Thank you thank you thank you, to my friend, for the most powerful, encouraging and inspiring email. i will fight another day.

The drum beats on…

i have read some REALLY helpful articles about privilege this week.

My fear is that the appearance of the word ‘privilege’ with the assumption of it being specifically ‘white privilege’ on my blog immediately drives the very people i am wanting to hear and engage with this stuff away.

But my hope, which is so much stronger than my fear, is that there are people like Bob [who a bunch of us had this long and helpful conversation with a while back] who genuinely are wanting to understand and be involved in the conversation and change where necessary, there are others who get or kinda get the need for change and just don’t know how to go about it and hopefully there are others sitting on the edge who will eventually at some point hear the proverbial penny dropping and let out a positive and helpful and transformative, “Ohhhhhhhhhhh!”

WHAT PRIVILEGE REALLY MEANS

The first one i read was titled ‘What Privilege Really Means’ by Maisha Z Johnson and doesn’t even use the word white, so maybe we’ll be okay here. She starts off like this:

I’m pretty fed up with privilege. But that doesn’t mean I hate privileged people.

When I write about the privilege that certain groups have, some people – usually those in the groups I’m writing about – get upset.

For example, I say how tired I am of how the system of white privilege excludes and harms non-white people, and some people accuse me of hating on white folks.

There’s only one problem: If you get upset when someone points out that you have privilege, that probably means you don’t fully understand what privilege is.

Because if you think having privilege means that you’re a bad person, or that you haven’t had struggles, or that you haven’t worked hard for what you have – then I can totally feel why you might be frustrated. If that were the case, then yes, it’d be completely unfair of me to claim that all white people or straight people or men or people of any other dominant group are living easy off their unearned privileges.

But having privilege doesn’t mean any of those things.

She lists 18 points which i found very helpful as many of them address specific things that people-who-have-issues-with-the-term-white-privilege are raising, some examples being:

# Having Privilege doesn’t mean you’re a bad person

# Having privilege doesn’t mean you haven’t experienced oppression in other ways

# Having Privilege doesn’t mean you didn’t work hard or you should feel bad about your good fortune

As well as some of the positives, such as:

# Having Privilege means you can support the most vulnerable among us to strengthen your own fight

# Having Privilege means you have a choice about what to do with it

But go read the rest of that article because i found it so super helpful and i imagine if some of the people who have a reaction to the words ‘White Privilege” or “Privilege” in general got to read it, they would have their eyes opened a little bit more. Maybe if you’re a choir person and know someone this would really help, print out a copy and go through it with them and ask if they agree or disagree.

WHITE RACIST OR IN RECOVERY

Then Jordan Pickering wrote this piece on news 24 that contained some REALLY helpful points as well. Please go and read the whole thing.

It begins with a similar mantra that many of us could repeat from heart:

I was born into a system that I had no role in setting up or choosing. If asked, my family would have said that racism is an evil. When Mandela was released from prison, I was barely 11 and only followed the sports section of the news. If an apology needs to be given for Apartheid why would I need to give it? When it comes to taking responsibility for Apartheid, should that include me?

But then goes on to ask a series of challenging but helpful questions and makes some statements that dig more to the heart of the matter:

And this is really the main issue. The problem is not that whites haven’t apologised for our racism (after all, who would someone like me apologise to and what exactly would I be sorry for?). The problem is that we have never owned it at all. It was all someone else’s fault.

Apartheid may be dead, but it bequeathed to all of us those coloured contact lenses that make racism part of our way of seeing. Realising to what degree you see the world with Apartheid’s taint is the first step to owning the past, and taking nation-building forward into the future.

TWO OTHER EXCELLENT READS WORTH YOUR TIME

Hardly anyone read this latest extract i posted from the Steve Biko book, ‘I Write What I Like’ and yet it feels like an incredibly important one to take in as well. [Who would have thought solving all South Africa’s issues would actually take a bit of time and effort and energy and research? Seriously, these conversations are worth reading more deeply on. Make the time!] i was strongly convicted about my attitude of superiority when it comes to black people in general – wow, that is NOT a fun line to think, say or type out loud. Yet i see it in myself. i need help. And i imagine i am not alone in this…

And lastly there was this piece i wrote the other day in response to some of the pushbacks to White Privilege conversation [which continue in the comment section if you have time to engage] which was a response to a response to an article i posted on Facebook the other day.

You’re tired of me blogging about Race and Privilege and Hope for South Africa and more? Well i’m sure people of colour are tired of being racisted upon and so until that stops, there is a lot of work to do. i’m not the best person to do it, i don’t doubt that for a second. But i know some pretty good people who are helping me along, being gracious and sending me stuff to read and having conversations and writing for this blog and more.

The answer answer i’m convinced is RELATIONSHIPS – genuine, authentic, life-transforming friendships with people from other races and cultures and socio-economic groups who will continue to be gracious and loving and patient and more. If you don’t have those in your life and are arguing against any of this stuff, then you really need to shut up and go and make yourself some friends. This cannot be an isolated conversation in the mind space. This is real and has to be worked out and beaten out and wrestled and pushed-back upon and get-a-little-bit-out-of-control and fought over and repented about and confessed and loved and shared over meals and walked, but together. Come on, South Africa. i believe.

[To continue reading and engaging on topics relating to South Africa and beyond, click here]

i CEO what you did there.

So last night a group of CEO’s got together in Johannesburg for the 702 Sun International CEO Sleepout which took place in Sandton [absolutely no irony there].

As i am in Americaland at the moment i only knew about it from the Twitterer and then was only able to get glimpses of what was happening from the same medium.

In some ways it seemed like a good idea – i heard about R24 million being raised for the homeless [but nothing about how it’s being planned to get it to them] but there were also a lot of aspects about it that started to make me a little wary.

And so at one point i tweeted this: i love the idea of #CEOSleepOutZA but celebrity chef soup and all night coffee seems to be somewhat missing the point?

My friend Megan, who lets me Improv with her on occasion and who sometimes says really nice things about me online responded to my tweet by asking ‘What exactly do you like about the idea?’

And while i responded with a defensive attempt at an answer, i had to be more personally honest and admit to myself that i didn’t really know. Something inside me wanted it to be a really good idea somehow and yet so much inside me was really just alarm bells going off.

I just read part of this article now from Eyewitness News which is titled, ‘CEOs overwhelmed by experience’ which contains such gems as this: “It grounds me when I have to experience what they experience every day.” [attributed to ‘a business executive’ – this is cutting edge journalism here it seems].

So the one tweet showed me pictures of the all-night coffee stand. A second one alerted me to the Celebrity Chef who was on hand to make soup for the participants. i read a tweet which spoke of how the one lady arrived with a sleeping bag able to take temperatures of down to minus twenty degrees.

This article went to say how, ‘The country’s top decision makers braved the cold winter evening and swapped their beds for the concrete pavement along Gwen Lane.’

As @MrSmithMachine tweeted, ‘To truly complete the #CEOsleepoutZA experience, they should let homeless people sleep over at all the CEO’s Sandton mansions tonight’, which seemed a little more on the button.

Because every homeless person has an iPhone with portable charger

This article did mention that the money raised was going to be going towards Boys and Girls town which absolutely does sound like a great deal [especially if it happens before the celebrity chef or whoever designed the designer cardboard chair/sleeping bag combos gets their cut] but it mentioned that it was about raising ‘awareness about the plight of people living in poverty.’

i’m not so sure.

If you are not aware that there is widespread poverty in South Africa, then you really should book a consultation with your local proctologist to see about having your head removed. The plight of people living in poverty? Well, that seems like quite an easy one to figure out as well, especially to the extent that one would sleeping in a warm sleeping bag, eating designer soup and drinking coffee in front of the press.

The cynic in me wonders how many of the people/companies involved did so for the press it generated or to stick up a photo in the entrance hall or add it to the company’s list of accomplishments come year end. The eternal optimist fights back saying that for some people it must have been a genuine experience and hopefully it somehow opened eyes and will open wallets and hopefully even mindsets towards the huge disparity between rich and poor in South Africa.

i honestly am interested though. Do you know someone who was there who can write a piece for me? What are your thoughts on the event? Is this something that will make a positive difference to the poor in South Africa? i would love to know your thoughts on this one…

My heart says “Yes, Please”, but my gut is really screaming “No!”

Some thoughts from Spaghetti conversations [with Portal Pete]

Another guest on Friday was our mate Portal Pete who has moved with his wife, Sarah, into Manenberg and is running a drug rehabilitation program among other things, and he had these words to say:

Great food etc.

It didn’t feel awkward to me. It felt OK. Living and working in what some call missional community in Manenberg, I feel and cause offence on a fairly regular basis. We’re learning that offence most often leads to blame, and blame is one of the greatest obstacles to moving forward together (whatever that means!) We need to deal with our offence if we want to get anywhere. Proverbs 18:19 – “a brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.”

When we feel we have been wronged, will we deal with our unyielding-ness? When we are accused of wrongdoing or oppression, will we acknowledge hurt we’ve caused and work towards restitution? Will we see the futility in ‘disputes’ about ‘issues’ held at arms length? It’s one thing to get all systemic about things. That does need to happen. But if it’s not preceded by friend-making across the racial and geographical barriers we bang on about, issues will remain impersonal and we will become either an enraged activist or a hopeless cynic. Very few people want to be friends with, or even listen to, enraged activists or hopeless cynics.

One of the young men we have been doing life with decided to leave the house on Tuesday, the very day he was celebrating being four months clean from drugs. It hurt. It makes me realize that the battle and the journey towards healing really isn’t against a chemical dependency on tik. Personal, communal, or national healing Is about each person’s whole life – their beliefs, behaviours, view of God, awareness of strongholds, sense of self-worth, level of humility, level of Holy Spirit, and pivotally WHO THEY ARE DOING LIFE WITH. That’s the key.

What our dear friend, or any addict, or in fact any human needs to realize is that each individual’s freedom is inextricably bound up in the freedom of others. Ian needs Dowayne, who needs Achmat, who needs Elroy, who needs me, who needs Sarah, who needs Clare, who needs Lloyd, who needs Ian – and so the cycle continues. That is why I need Manenberg – because it teaches me everyday. I, a white British male with a tertiary education and networks of economically empowered friends, become interdependent with those who have been, or are currently, marginalized, addicted, abused and traumatized. As theologian John Inge puts it, “if places are the geography of our imagination, it is…true to say that how we are affected by them will be a function not only of the place, but of the people we find in it. Our ‘placement’ is much more important than is generally imagined. It is no mere backdrop to actions and thoughts. This needs to be part of the ‘unavoidable witness’ of the Christian community.”

So the power for systemic transformation is in living locally as a generative contradiction to the neoliberal dream, living in distinct redemption to a segregated past, and in emphatic opposition to a globalised present. I think conversations like the one we had last week are important. But much more important is making friends with people different from yourself, and moving near them and doing life together. Then, from a place of close, placed, friendship, a local theology will spring up and the issues will choose themselves.

What if we all just stopped talking about it, and did it?

[To return to the start of this conversation and read what reflections other guests had, click here]

[For a post Portal Pete wrote on Moving into Manenberg, click here]

Some thoughts from Spaghetti conversations [with Val ‘tbV’ Anderson]

My lovely wife Val was of course the hostess for Friday's dinner and deep dive into Race, Boundary and Location conversation that i wrote about over here, and she shares some of her thoughts from the evening:

The idea is simple: gather good people around good food and good discussion and see what happens. So we did. We turned off technology and tuned in to people. It was messy and it was chaotic, it was painful and it was personal and it was powerful. It was raw and it was redemptive. Some of us ate spaghetti with a spoon cos we ran out of cutlery. We sat on the floor and on stools and really close to each other – three people thigh to thigh on a chair made for two. We talked and told stories, argued and challenged, wrestled and sat in silence – the good kind and the uncomfortable kind. We left with heads and hearts aching, but full.

Here’s some of what I learnt:

1. White privilege is less about access to “stuff” and more about access to choices or, in Sen’s theorizing, capabilities – the real opportunities of being and doing available to attain well-being. Here’s an example: consider a priest who is fasting and a man in a famine-stricken country who is starving. The key element in determining a person’s well-being here is not whether both are experiencing hunger, but whether the person has access to food and is choosing not to eat. The functioning is starving but the capability to obtain an adequate amount of food is the key element in evaluating well-being between these two individuals. Having a lifestyle is not the same as choosing it; well-being depends on how that lifestyle came to be.

Here’s another example. Consider a bike as a commodity which enables the functioning of mobility. Personal, social and environmental conversion factors impact an individual’s ability to convert the commodity (the bike) into functioning (getting from A to B).  If a person is physically disabled, never learnt to ride a bike, if women are not allowed to ride bikes, or if there are no roads, then a person’s capacity to convert the potential of the bike into movement is limited. It’s not enough to give someone a bike if they don’t have the ability, the capacity, the enabling conditions to ride it in a way that moves them forward (or if they don’t have access to a pump, if they cannot take the bike out without being physically threatened by a mugging, etc)

2. In a post-industrial/post-agricultural world, we believe that we too are living in the Information Age, where the primary means of production is Knowledge and the accumulation of knowledge (i.e. education) is the means by which individuals access livelihood, opportunity, resource, jobs etc. I simply don’t believe this is true in South Africa. I wonder if perhaps we are actually in the Age of Connection. Knowledge might be power, but it’s less about what you know and more about who you know. The primary means of production might be Social Capital – the contacts and connections which enable us to network, navigate and negotiate the economic landscape. Perhaps education is the capability, but the functioning is all about social capital – it’s the people we know, the professional contacts, the personal networks that enable us to actualize opportunity. White privilege is at its core all about social capital.

3. While I can sympathize with the pain and anger of black friends, I don’t think I can actually empathize. I can show compassion for, seek to understand, commiserate with, experience anger on behalf of but I can never really experience “from within another’s frame of reference”. As one of our guests so rightly pointed out “We do not and cannot experience EQUAL frustration. You had a choice.”

4. I need to shut up more. Perhaps one of our greatest failings as white people in South Africa is our inability to sit in silence. When we listen to the voices of our black brothers/sisters expressing pain, anger, frustration, or simply sharing their experience, we want to immediately question, clarify, push-back, argue, dissect, debate, wrestle, show the other side, point out the discrepancies or inconsistencies, locate within the “larger picture”, propose solutions, and find “action steps”. We don’t know how to sit – just SIT – with a rage that fills a room, sucks all the air from it, and leaves our friends shaking. We have ears but do not hear, and eyes but do not see.

5. Reconciliation is not the path towards Justice but rather Justice is the path towards Reconciliation. Until and unless Justice has been enacted we can not experience right relationship. (Thanks, Nkosi!)

[To read more reflections from the other guests, click here]

[For more from tbV, like this piece explaining her tattoo, click here]