Can you wear the other’s shoes?

You know, the whole, ‘Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes’ thing?

Following on from the post and conversation relating to inequality at the moment still being a race thing in South Africa, what might be a helpful activity is to take a look at how you understand the other person’s argument.

Are you able to jump into the comments and comment from the point of view of the person on the other side of the argument. So, as a white guy, can i comment as if i am a black guy [in terms of point of view] on the whole issue of reconciliation, land redistribution and equality within South Africa [and Americans, can you do this with your whole #Ferguson #BlackLivesMatter conversation]?

eg.  Because my grandparents were evicted from their land and forced to move into a less than favourable location, i feel that it is only fair for me to have the opportunity to return to where they originally lived and be given land there.

In terms of the Americaland situation it would be something more like:

eg. I am tired of explaining to my child why he should not wear his hoodie when he goes out at night.

It is clear from some of the conversations that have been happening on the blog and on Facebook that there is a lot of fear, insecurity and mistrust around a number of these issues and i’m wondering if taking a moment to articulate the other person’s argument [you don’t have to full agree with them or believe it, but just seeing if you get it] might help each of us to see better where they are coming from and understand their point of view.

i realise this is a little risky, but i think it could be valuable. Anyone willing to give it a try? Simply take one aspect of the argument or conversation so far and articulate it as if you were bringing it from the other point of view.

Or as Jack Handey puts it, ‘Before you criticise a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.’

Why economic inequality in South Africa is not a race thing.

So, the other day i tried to take a few steps back in this ongoing Race and Reconciliation conversation we’ve been having over here with this post trying to see if we could all agree that the incredibly out-of-proportion extreme gap between rich and poor in our country [and the world at large] is not okay.

Most people stayed away from engaging at all [maybe it’s cos of the busy time of the year, but questions like that also suggest follow-up questions and if those are engaged with deeply enough then there could be a cost involved so safer to just stay out of it for sure] but those who did largely agreed that we could start at that point, and then there were a number of, ‘Yes, but…’s, which should probably be filed as ‘No’ because the question was, ‘Can we all agree that this is not okay?’

So the next question becomes that of race, with some people emphatically suggesting that the problems in South Africa are economic or socio-economic class problems and not race related.

i beg to differ.

ECONOMIC INEQUALITY IN SOUTH AFRICA IS STILL A RACE THING

Wait, but you said, i thought, that economic inequality in South Africa is not a race thing?

Well, yes and no. i typically don’t believe that economic inequality in and of itself is a race thing, and i do believe that South Africa is moving more towards a time and a place [although this is going to take a while still] where the issues become more economic and socio-economic than race…

BUT, because of the history of apartheid and the debilitating and damaging effect it had on so many people, and the lingering consequences thereof, the wealthy in our country for the most part continue to be white and the poor continue to be black [and completely realise there are coloured and indian as well as asian and other-african stories that make up this equation as well and am eager to hear from people who can adequately represent those stories] and so at the moment it remains a race thing.

As one of the young leaders said to me on our recent trip to Robben Island, Mandela helped bring the people of South Africa over the bridge of Reconciliation, but he didn’t bring the economy over that bridge. A great injustice was done to a huge percentage of the people in our country and while we can all be friends now [to simplify it completely], that doesn’t mean that there is not some outstanding justice to be done.

THE ‘HOW’ OF TRUE RESTITUTION AND REPARATION IS THE GHOST CALLING OUT TO US

If you steal a car from someone and they catch you and you say that you are sorry, then there may be a way for that person to forgive you and to refuse to press charges. But you have to give the car back.

This seems to be the point a lot of white people i know are stumbling over. We get that apartheid was bad. We are really sorry and we hope that you can forgive us. But we would like to keep the car.

Now, what i think makes it tricky, is that land was stolen a generation or two ago. Figuring out who took what from whom and trying to get it back to them feels like a ridiculously complicated thing. i have spoken to a small number of black people who feel very strongly about this issue, but am yet to find someone who has some kind of practical solution.

i imagine even those who would go the more extreme route and take the land using violent means, practically would not easily be able to say how that works in terms of who gets what.

So that does seem to be a very big and daunting HOW. But that doesn’t mean that we can simply just shrug it off and “Let bygones be bygones. That is an easier thing to feel and say when you are now the one with the car.

Yes? So please hear me loud and clear on this one when i say i have more questions than answers. i don’t know how this all plays out well. The issue definitely seems to be blurred or obstacled by the mess that is Nkandla and corrupt government officials seemingly wasting a whole lot of taxpayers money on a lot of occasions and the corruption that exists at the top. But i don’t think that is directly related to the issue at hand and if we raise that, then i feel like we are missing some of the conversations and actions that need to happen.

i would love to hear your thoughts on this:

[1] Comment on my statement that while we are heading towards a time when the issues are more socio-economically defined, at the moment at least, there is still a huge amount of race-relatedness to that conversation [as the way our system is divided socio-economically is still so much related to race issues past]

[2] Your ideas concerning reparation and restitution – Do you think we have done all that is necessary with regards to our apartheid past and we all need to just move on and make the best of a bad situation? Or do you feel, like me, that there is still some work to be done in terms of economically making amends for some of the travesties that were committed.

[3] Play nice. The moment you make it personal, you lose your audience. You can be passionate and respectful.

[For other South Africa related posts and conversations, click here]

Just say, “It’s not okay.”

i do not know all the answers.

Let’s start there, shall we. This is not a post from the guy who knows all the answers, trying to make you feel bad because you don’t. In fact, at the moment i’m really just working on trying to figure out the right questions.

I’m not expecting you to have all the answers, and i’m not claiming that you do and that you’re ignoring them or a really bad person for not jumping into action and putting everything right. None of this is about that.

When i post a rant about the ridiculous amount of money that football players get for being transferred from one club to another and you jump in with your statement of, “Yeah, but the football player doesn’t see that money. Most of it goes to the club.” as if you are suggesting that the poor football player is barely keeping his head above the breadline…

When i speak about the idea of ‘White Privilege’ and how we need to address some of the imbalance that still exists between black and white [and others] in this country and you are quick to defend with a statement about how it’s okay because “the blacks stole it from the khoi and the san” or something that looks more like, “i worked hard for what i have, so do you just want me to give it up?” as if the wealth is now equally distributed in our country and as many white people are caught struggling to even make enough for a daily meal as black people…

i am not wanting you to take the blame and admit that everything wrong in this country is your fault…

i am not even wanting you to take partial blame and say that anything that is not great in this country is your fault…

i am not asking you to give up everything you have, sell it and give the money to the poor…

i am not expecting you to have all the answers we need to fix government and education and service delivery and more…

and i am not even expecting you to have one answer to one problem and feel the responsibility of getting that one sorted…

All i am wanting to hear and see from you, right now, is for you to be able to look at the picture of wealth standing alongside the picture of poverty in South Africa and to be able to utter the words, ‘That is not okay.’ 

This is not acceptable. It is not good. Something really needs to change.

i feel like if we can just get to there, that will be such an excellent starting point for everything that is to follow.

“I want to be part of that change.” is the war cry i would like for us all to work towards after that.

But can we just agree, when we drive to the airport in Cape Town and look to our right [if we can pull our head out of the sand, long enough to do so] that ‘That is not okay.’

Do i know what to do? No. [Although i may have some ideas to start us off and know people with ideas]

Do i need to ‘fix it’ all myself? No.

Do people with money need to feel bad? i hope not. i have money. so only if we are not using it well, i guess.

All i want to hear from you as step 1, is whether you think this is okay or not. Reply in the comments. 

My name is brett “Fish” anderson and i do not believe this is okay!

[For other South African related posts and taking this conversation forwards, click here]

Dear John…

…by the time you read this post, you’ll be gone…

So in response to my post directed at my white friends in South Africa and Americaland with regards to race-related things, i got a rather strong sounding response from a guy called John. Which i thought it might be quite fun to respond to:

The reason I write you off as another white “Arts-degree” imbecile: You compare the history and economics and politics and sociology of America to SA. They are NOTHING alike. And they NEVER were. You are painfully Anti-White and Pro-Black throughout. Why would you not only deny Whites their voice, but decide BEFOREHAND what your outcome in your head will be? “My white friends, my white family, white strangers who i don’t yet know, but who some reason have landed in this place, we are the unaffected ones [directly] and it is time for us to be outraged and informed and engaged.” The unaffected ones??? You are so, SO out of line bud. And you have effectively wished away with that limp wrist of yours the history, dreams, blood, prayers, sweat and tears of a nation that had it harder than most, and is AS entitled to the country as any other. I am outraged. By your type. Not only are you ignorant, racist, hateful, you are glib and biased. Do you have MSM each morning for breakfast, or do you choose ignorance and bias freely? What truly, truly angered me was this drivel: “As white people…hold the power for change in both situations”] … (whites) are …uninvolved and unengaged and let injustice go on around (them).” Just go home before you hurt yourself. You’re a six year old taking a tomy gun to an international arms trade. You are in so deep, and you have no clue. And as for proclaiming to be a Christian, that’s terribly hard to believe when all you seek to do is vilify, nullify and crucify a Nation you know NOTHING about, or simply care NOTHING for. [John]

hey John,

Thanks for taking the time to stop by.

Some thoughts in response:

[1] What a pity – why would you ever write anyone off? That sounds so unoptimistic and as the self-proclaimed eternal optimist just completely outside of my life experience – there is always hope that people will stand in front of a mirror and see what is really there and choose to change. Always. As a follower of Jesus i believe that 100 fold as inviting God to come in and bring change just accelerates that in my experience.

[2] i feel like ‘Arts-degree’ imbecile is a step up – you see i am a 40 year old white guy with dreads and so usually get asked at traffic lights for weed or high fived by other drug takers because of wrongful assumptions made, so i will take Arts-degree imbecile – i actually got kicked out of art in high school for spending the year mixing paint colours [because they just expected us to do art and never taught us how to and i couldn’t do art] and officially i am a primary school teacher [by study] although have spent most of my life working with young people in the church

[3] “You compare the history and economics and politics and sociology of America to SA.” – not true, or not intended at least – in my most recent blog dealing with #Ferguson whiplash vs South African White Privilege vibes i maybe say it more clearly but the point is that in terms of the focus on race issues at the moment, there are similarities between what the two countries are presently facing and some huge differences [in USA white majority, in SA it is minority being a big one] and so very interesting to me keeping an eye on both and seeing what might be learned on either side of the ocean.

[4] Painfully anti-white and pro-black throughout? Hm, i don’t see that. i am white firstly and i kinda like myself, and most of my white friends. i AM pro-black in the same way that i am pro-white and Indian, coloured etc… Not one above the other. HOWEVER, that doesn’t for a second mean i overlook where we have made mistakes and as white people in South Africa we very much do need to stand in the front of the line with our hands raised and admit a few things. With apartheid having been officially turned over 20 years ago or so we can [and would love to] decide that racism is all done now in this country and let’s move on, but because a lot of black people [and possibly others] feel aggrieved still in terms of work of reparation and restitution that was not done, i think we have a way to go still. At the very least taking time to listen and try hear and then see if we can in fact do something about it. This conversation is probably heading from race towards social economic status, but while people still have racist thoughts and comments and behaviours [see white guy at university peeing on man of colour just a week or so ago and more] it seems like many people still have a bit of a way to go. Just because it is uncomfortable doesn’t mean the hard conversations shouldn’t happen. My heart is complete unity and togetherness and it is going to take a long and difficult journey to get there still.

i really honestly am not sure why you think i am anti-white – that is so far from the truth – i can be completely pro-white and still feel we have a responsibility to bear some of the cost of change. absolutely.

[5] Not sure how i have denied whites their voice – i have used the platform of this blog to give all voices a chance to be heard – because less whites seem to be engaged in this conversation there has been less of a pool to draw from but take a look at Michael Talbot’s piece at one example of hearing a white voice here.

[6] i am two weeks into the hundred week pushup challenge and we have added some weight exercises to that as well and so my wrists are anything but limp at the moment. My pushups need a lot of work though. Also not sure how this unaffected wrist has wished away the history [blood, sweat, tears etc] of this nation that has had it so rough – at the moment i am reading Robert Sobukwe: How Can Man Die Better to try and understand a different perspective of our story and learn a little more of the history especially the blood, tears and sweat side of things. i am not wishing it away at all but taking it into consideration and starting to understand more deeply about the people who shed blood, sweat and tears and now feel like they may have lost out in the process. Taking a bit of extra time to see if they might be right and if so, what can we do about it.

[7] “ignorant, racist, hateful, you are glib and biased” – a lot of things to call someone you don’t know, have never met, and i assume got all your information from one blog post one – ignorant? yes i can take that – i know a lot less than i would like and am doing all i can to join in some of the dots of the story including spending this last weekend on Robben Island hearing from people who were imprisoned and families that were affected by that. racist? i don’t think so, not overtly anyways – we all carry some prejudice and i definitely have some towards other races that needs to be worked out of me – and will as i grow friendships with people from other backgrounds and contexts. hateful? i don’t think that’s fair and am really not sure where you got that? i have so much love for people that i believe God filled me with – if anyone comes close to feeling unloved or hard done by me it is likely to be christians who don’t live out what they say they believe as that is when it is hardest for me to show grace and mercy but even then i think i do okay. Could always be better. Glib – embarrassed to say i need to go google that which does back up your ignorant comment – insincere and shallow? hm, no, i think you’re thinking of someone else – i say it as i see it which means i am open to being wrong on occasion or missing the mark but definitely not insincere and shallow. and biased? maybe, i work from what i have and so each story has a bias derived from the teller’s experience and sources and prejudices – definitely not intentionally biased but there is probably a little in there.

[8] Also had to look up Methylsulfonylmethane so clearly am not willingly taking it, although it is possible Megs slipped some into my porridge this morning, but that doesn’t seem like her style. And so no i don’t choose ignorance and bias freely – i am doing what i can to add knowledge and learn and am trying my best to not be biased but to give space for all sorts of voices and opinions. We will never get the perfect story but we can definitely work towards getting a more balanced and close to the truth one.

[9] And then there was the part that “truly angered” you, which was this – As white people [those who in many instances hold the power for change in both situations] it is not good enough for us to sit back and be uninvolved and unengaged and let injustice go on around us.

Although in your comment you changed it around to this: “As white people…hold the power for change in both situations”] … (whites) are …uninvolved and unengaged and let injustice go on around (them).”

So kinda like looking at me holding a banana and saying, “I hate your apple, bud!”

My point is that “it is not good enough” for us to sit around and be uninvolved – that is not suggesting that everyone is uninvolved [although a lot of people certainly seem to be] but it is rather a call to action and saying that given the circumstances around us, we really need to make sure that we are not allowing injustice to go on around us.

If it angered you because you don’t like the statement, does that mean we should sit back and be uninvolved and unengaged and let injustice go on around us? Or that you felt i was imposing a judgement on all white people. Again, the words “it is not good enough for” are really important as they speak to a situation that would not be favourable as opposed to declaring a situation that is.

[10] Then it got a little personal [although you did seem to be looking out for my safety when you suggested i go home before i hurt myself – although to be fair i wrote this at home and in the broader picture South Africa is my home so either way i am fully there and in not too much danger of hurting myself]

“You’re a six year old taking a tomy gun to an international arms trade. You are in so deep, and you have no clue. And as for proclaiming to be a Christian, that’s terribly hard to believe when all you seek to do is vilify, nullify and crucify a Nation you know NOTHING about, or simply care NOTHING for.”

i tend to dig it when people think i’m younger than the 40 year old i am but usually they go for mid twenties or maybe thirty and so it feels like you are a little off there. i am not a huge fan of guns and so that is unlikely in a non-metaphoric sense but interesting that the language used is that of violence which my hope and optimising and belief in the goodness of people [and of God] really believes we can avoid if we continue to have healthy and helpful and at times uncomfortable conversations so that we can move towards change which works for everyone. And your accusation of me villifying, nullifying and crucifying a nation i don’t care about and know nothing about feels so far from the truth – i imagine i have lived here longer than you and so quite possibly know a decent amount, i don’t know many people as passionate as i am about this country and you should perhaps go and read some of the Robben Island blogs i’ve been posting more recently to see that [i will fight for the right to be called an African cos this is my home – i am a man of this soil] and yes, basically just the opposite of what you said back there.

Finally, John, i don’t expect you to read this – i would love if it you did and i would really dig it if we could sit down over a drink and have a full on two way conversations and really get to hear a little bit of the other person’s story before we make snap judgements and think we know what the other person is about. I doubt this will happen though because you wrote me off right at the beginning, but i thought it would be fun to let you know what i would have written had you stuck around a bit to have some conversation.

May you have a most excellent week
Let’s build this nation together
love brett fish

[For a previous encounter with internet trolls, check this out]

Journey to Robben Island: Part ii – introductions: an african amongst us

One of the most moving times of the whole weekend was actually right near the beginning, when after arriving at Robben Island, and dropping our stuff off at our rooms, we met together for introductions.

We had to go around the room and introduce ourselves and say why we were there. i had the task of following my incredibly gifted wife who has such a powerful way with words that she immediately won over the room with her talk of being the salt Elisha threw into the poisoned water in 2 Kings 2 which immediately purified the water which had caused death and miscarriages until that moment. And how she wants to be used in the same way, in this country, where waters have been polluted and poisoned…

i decided to just speak from the heart and in a diverse room of passionate people, spoke about how i see myself as African and this was an opportunity to dig deeper into the story of my country that i care so much about. Seeing my new friend Nkosi nodding, as if to say, ‘Yes, you are African. You are one of us.’ and just generally feeling a sense of love and acceptance in that small circle of people was such a powerful and moving moment for me.

i am NOT European. i was born here and have lived here for the majority of my life and this is my home and my land.

i am African. despite what some may say because of the colour of my skin.

i am African. and i wear it proudly.

a phrase i heard on the weekend, which i love and am going to adopt, is the title, ‘Man of the soil’ and that is what i am.

i am African. deal with it.

[For part iii of our Journey to Robben Islans looking at the spirit of the island, click here]

If you write it, they will come. Perhaps. Or not. They may not.

Being a bloggerist [as i like to call myself] can be a roller-coaster whirlwind of emotions, and often is.

 

The tension that exists between writing what you want to, what feels like it might be importantly significant, or giving in to the little red guy on your shoulder of page view stats where you slide into writing what the people want to hear.

Sometimes those things line up and it is easy. Any time i write about Relationships or what has become one of my favourite and the most popular of topics on my blog, that of Taboo Topics [You know, those rarely spoken about topics in church and even beyond, that many generous friends of mine have been bold enough to share their stories on], the people flock, like flocks of… um… flocking things.

But there are other times when i write about something meaningful and important and almost everyone stays away…

Two posts i wrote recently which i hoped people would read, but which i knew the titles alone were probably enough to scare most folks off, and at most it would be the choir once more – those who don’t really need to hear it because they are already doing it – who would stop by for a visit. Neither was particularly read at all – not read and disagreed with or read and ignored, but not even looked at:

When Violence Stares you in the Face and you Turn and Walk Away

Giving that Costs

These two posts on Christmas i thought would get a few more eyes on – maybe my reputation of being a Christmas grinch and the fact that i used a picture of the grinch to accompany the piece i wrote meant people stayed away cos who wants to feel bad about Christmas. But actually they are both really good pieces with a lot of positive in them. Especially Graham’s two pieces which i stumbled on online – was hoping if i made it obvious that someone else had written them, they would get some eyes:

Two True Meanings of Christmas – Guest Post by Graham Heslop

There is no U in Christmas

Then there was this post on Accountatextability which maybe turned people off by having no idea what i was talking about – this is an excellent way you can help out a friend who might be struggling with something [from porn addiction to temptation to cut to drinking] and i hope people will find it:

It’s as Easy as Accountatextability

You can try tricking people with a blog title that reads something like, ’10 Ways to the best Sex ever’ or ‘The baby that rode on a kitten’ [seriously i’m going to make that video one day and it will BREAK. THE. INTERNET] but is actually a post about how they should tip the guy who watches their car better, but you will likely lose them within a line or two. Not many people like to be tricked.

Or you can actually get some friends of yours to write about Sex Before Marriage or even Sex in Marriage and see if anyone bites, um, i mean reads the post.

Or else i guess you can just dial out of the stats pages and continue to write about and share space for others to write about the things that are meaningful and just simply hope that those who need to read it will pitch up. That as the choir continue to cheer you on and sing praises to your posts, that every now and then, hopefully when it matters, a non choir persona will stop by and be challenged, encouraged or transformed by the words you write.

At the end of the day, i guess all i can be is faithful, and trust that the right people will show up…

After all, you did. I thank you for your time.

Are you a Pig or a Rat?

So in these two most recent Pearls before Swine cartoons, we get a great glimpse of the character of the two main, um, characters, namely Rat and Pig.

Rat being the cynical, mean, vindictive one, i find that i identify with him way too often, and when i notice that i do, i usually have to do some kind of changing of my ways… although sometimes i wish i was this forward:

Whereas Pig on the other hand is innocent, genuine, loving and real and when i identify with him at all, it is usually something to embrace… although i often wish i was this much others-focused:

i know some people who are really great at cheering other people on and enjoying their success and i think at times i am that person, but not so much when it means i have missed out on success. in game-playing for example, i am uberly competitive and so something i have been working on and need to work on for a long time has been being able to cheer someone else’s success when they have beaten me in a game.

my friend Bruce Olsen, back in Oakland in Americaland, was that person – host us, feed us so well and then just delight in playing an evening of games with friends – for me it is too often about needing the win [apparently it proves something in my brain or something] – i learnt so much watching him, and there are countless others.

my friend Linda Martindale comes to mind in life in general in terms of being such a great cheerleader of other peoples’ projects and success and just themselves – she really takes great joy in people and i am so privileged to have her as a friend and hope to learn more of how she is who she is [and has been ever since i have known her]

So how about you? Are you more a Rat? Or a Pig? Or do you also find evidence of both in your life?

And who is someone you know [name them!] who embodies Pig in the second cartoon and is a cheerer on of other people with no or not much thought of themselves?

 [For other fun and serious and life-divulging Pearls Before Swine strips, click here]