Hilton and I got married on the 7th of July 2007. And yes! That would be 07/07/07
We have the privilege and honour of raising two incredible children. Annabelle Joy is 3 and a half, and little man Isaac Levi (Zaccy) is just 18 months old.
Hilton “courted me” for about 6 weeks before we officially started dating, and 5 days later he told me that he loved me. I nearly fell off the chair. We were at a friend’s 21st, which we left pretty promptly because we had to have a DMC (Deep Meaningful Conversation).
It was that night that I told him there were no half measures. Either we’re “in this” for marriage or we’re not going to pursue anything further. Most men would run for the hills! Not my Hilton. He agreed. We were “in this”.
My parents got divorced when I was 12 after some very tempestuous years of marriage. I had convinced myself that I was never getting married – and what a wall I built! Conflict was not something I wanted to encounter – ever. So in my head, best avoid marriage altogether.
God, however, had other plans. I spent 2 years talking to a psychologist sorting out my issues (some of them at least!) learning how to handle good conflict, and when I was happy to be me, happy to be just me, it happened.
One of the things I appreciate most – that we’re “in this”. There is no back door, no alternative, no other way out – because we believe, and we trust, and we’re safe. Safe in His palm, safe in each other, and safe within ourselves.
We’ve learned to read each other. Hilton knows when I’m angry – which is secondary to hurt. I am quiet for a while, and then in a quiet space when I’m ready, we talk. We don’t shout. We don’t yell. We don’t throw tantrums. We talk. And it’s good.
That’s not saying we always get it right. We get annoyed with each other, we chirp, we get it wrong. But when it comes to the big things, we talk.
Covenant. It’s a safe place. A sacred place. A place of increase, of love, and lots of giggles and laughs. It is good – because God made it that way.
When you’re in it – you’re in it!