howardMy strength / weakness
– by Howard James Fyvie, the 1st, son of Andrew, son of Raymond

It took me a while in thinking about this topic because I was struggling to actually identify any significant weakness in my life. I mean, obviously I’ve got struggles and battles that I fight on a daily / weekly and sometimes yearly basis – that humans around the world all face. But when it comes to a specific Achilles heal – I was struck without an answer. And I think in that lies my answer: my confidence.

God has given me heaps of confidence.I truly believe that I could do mostly anything.  I think most people can do anything. I believe in the impossible. And I plan on achieving it. If someone challenges me to something, I’d happily go along with that, believing that I’m gonna give my best, and it’s going to work. Whether it’s making a film, leading people, writing music, climbing a mountain, entertaining masses or making a meal: generally, I believe that I can do it. And I jump in with both feet and claim my inevitable victory.

The spin off to this is that sometimes I hit my head hard when I fail. Sometimes I think I can do something, when in actual fact – I’m a long way off. And so this God-given strength of confidence can also be a weakness when I commit to something with all my heart, and then find that I’m actually not going to win. I then crash to the ground in glorious flames.

This has happened on a number of occasions, but probably the most notable was my last relationship. I saw a girl. I had never had a serious girlfriend before because – in my opinion – I was waiting for the right one, and once I saw her, I would make her mine. Duh. That’s how it works. Needless to say – I pursued the girl, at first she said she wasn’t interested, but soon my sheer confidence (and good-looks, obviously) wooed her over, and after no time we were dating. I was sold.

However, things soon began to unravel. Both in my confidence, and in the relationship. After a few months of heart-ache, back and forths, long phone calls and lots of counsel, the relationship ended. I was devastated. I couldn’t understand why it didn’t work. It had to work. Because of my blatant confidence, I was certain we would tie the knot, and had invested my whole heart and mind into the relationship. Today, she’s happily married to her husband, and I learned that not everything in life works out according to my plan. 😉

These days I tend to look at things a bit more realistically. I get some very realistic friends to give me counsel, and I try to listen – now through older and more sensitive ears.

Has my heart changed? No. I still believe in achieving the impossible. I’m still gonna jump in with both feet. I’m still gonna change the world. But I think i’ll just make sure my back-up chute has been double-checked before I jump out the plane.See you in the sky.

Howard James Fyvie,
son of Andrew,
son of Raymond.

[For the next post featuring Jane Lee and her Strength Weakness of Context, click here]