i hear you rant against my this
and listen closely to your diss
i walk away somewhat bemused
another day i’d be amused
but what I’ve heard
those words you spat
the ‘this’ i own is not your ‘that’.
you make a case against ‘my god’
the words you use are rather odd
cos hard as i might try to see
your ‘him’ sounds nothing like my ‘Thee’
the ‘him’ you talk of sounds so mad
so distant, proud, aloof and bad
i really strain to hear your claim
they only sound alike in name
and as I hear these words you use
i know that’s not a ‘god’ i’d choose
how can this be? I have to know
what caused your picture to be so?
some time has passed
i have returned
astonished at some things I’ve learned
i’ve found you’re not the only one
whose view of god is less than fun
i’ve met with those who loved His way
but church helped them to end their stay
by having a much stronger sense
not what they’re for, what they’re against
and while they claim to look above
it’s obvious they don’t ‘err’ on Love
still others found it too much bother
that churches fight amongst each other
the crusades, wars, apartheid, shame
so much justified by ‘his name’
as actions worked to bring a curse
someone, somewhere quoted a verse
as religion was proven to be dud
my Saviour’s name rolled in the mud.
i dry my tears
with fresh resolve
i long to see this thing resolved
to have some chance
to right this wrong
to play for you a different song
to draw you to a sacrifice
show you my God who gave His life
who led by dropping on His knees
who hung out with ‘the least of these’
who asked, ‘who does condemn? Me? No!’
who taught us to embrace our foe
who said, ‘to follow, you must die’
and gave His life to show us why.
i hear you rant against my this
i think i understand your diss
I know it’s going to take a while
but as i leave i softly smile
i know now that it’s up to me
for i’m the One you’re going to see
the life i live must show you that
the ‘This’ i love is not your ‘that’.
![The Parent Tip [aka Some ideas that might help you raise your child]: With Bek Curtis](https://brettfish.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/bekbeans.jpg?resize=40%2C40){kind=small}
Irresistibly Fish 
I really appreciate you Brett, as little as I know you, and your honesty, and your attempts to live right and honourably, with grace, courage and humour. From my point of view (coz I feel I may be one of the many who have contributed to the need for you to write this poem) I need to answer one point that emerges from your poem, and is true, at least from my point of view. It is not mainly the church that has caused me to up sticks. Though it certainly didn’t help. It is simply a case of not believing what you believe. I have looked at the evidence and come to different conclusions.
Today a close member of my family said to a young child in my care who asked them “who will go to heaven?”:… “Only people who believe in Jesus will go to heaven”.
Now many Christians, and I am not sure if you are one of them, would see this sentence said to a child as absolutely true, and good for the boy to hear. I hear something different. There is a subtext, and one which would be amplified should he hear it repeatedly over his childhood life. It is this: If you don’t believe what I believe something bad will happen to you”. To my mind this is nothing less than a form of psychological bullying. In some cases it amounts to child abuse. Albeit well meant child abuse.
Now this kind of message is said repeatedly, at least as far as I have witnessed, in most of even the most child sensitive of modern evangelical christian homes. I know you personally would probably say that the fundaments of the gospel are about changed lives which are lived to help the weakest, and the poorest, and the most vulnerable in society. I honour and value that contribution. The question is can you have one without the other. If the latter is the important thing, then why cause the suffering (yes suffering) to some children who are bullied into belief by the insistence (without evidence) that what someone else believes is what they should believe in order to avoid some form (possibly endless) of suffering when they die. Because I care, I suffered, almost to the point of suicide, when I questioned and tried to find my own place within church. Because for all the talk of love and the importance of a loving community…and these are very important things…a theology that punishes people for questioning, for doubting…yes, for rejecting, is one of cruelty and finally, indifference. That is true regardless of the lives lived by it’s perpetrators.
If a person can’t ask questions and come up with “wrong” answers, then where is the love? And this is a challenge to you too. Because I think the challenge you make to the church about it’s actions is a vital one. But the whole belief system, the sheep and goats, the believer and unbeliever, the in or out. The stuff that is at best conjecture. None of this helps. And all too often it harms.
I’m not trying, in the least, to persuade you to abandon faith. I just want faith not to be portrayed as fact. But, to be honest, however “christ-like” a life you lead isn’t the issue for me, when it comes to my own beliefs. The issue is simply my own perception of what is true, and what is not. It was a long hard struggle to get here.
This is a quickly written response, to a subject that deserves a lot more time. I don’t have that much time to give to it, so I hope you accept this as my honest attempt in addressing your honest outpourings.
love your UK CUZ. 🙂
David, thankx for the words. I for the most part appreciate most of what you say most of the time, even if there is some stuff which we think differently about which clearly there is. But it’s always good to hear and think and hopefully wrestle with. Just came from an intense day of cycling and slacklining and sitting in the sun for a bunch of hours so i’m not sure i’m in a good place to respond to all you said well, or if i need to – i imagine you know where i come from to some extent. i think Terry Pratchett in his book titled Carpe Jugulum says it so well as a reknowned atheist [and i’m hoping it’s on here but not sure – https://brettfish.wordpress.com/2011/02/16/1025 if you have the time to listen to that, if it’s still there?] when he acknowledges the response to us believing what we believe [if i believed what you believed it would be in me like a flame etc etc – and goes on about a hectic response to people as opposed to a mild ‘everyone believe what you believe’ kind of lah di dah] – his point being the message you believe requires you to be hectically evangelistic if you really believe it [if you do believe in a literal hell or endless suffering or whatever it is] because of the consequences of not believing… so while i definitely think there has been a lot of wrong done in terms of how children and others have been fed the message at times [and some would border on bullying and abuse for sure, which is horrible and wrong and should be stopped] at the same time i don’t believe the message itself [especially Jesus in Matthew where He got quite specific i feel, and dramatic about those who don’t believe] allows for too mild a handling of it – but Truth in Love over Truth from fear every time for sure…
in terms of ‘needing to write the poem’ – not at all – wasn’t a response to a person or people specifically, most of my poetry doesn’t come from that as i think a lot of people’s does – just a case of it is sad to me that so many people have left or not even considered the faith due to bad examples of Jesus preached or lived out [and i totally hear you when you say that’s not it for you – looked at same facts, different conclusion – although even in your response you do allude to some hurt/misunderstanding/judgement in terms of not being able to have a space to ask honest questions without feeling shunned and so there again]
much love
cousin b
Hey Brett, the link just gave an error message I’m afraid.
I think the space to ask the honest questions was not invoked by individuals, but by the theology. If this (insert a belief, any belief) really is The Truth (because this is God’s Word, and THIS is what it means) then no one should question it.
If we are convinced of anything that has implications for others, the first thing to be established should always be: have I got this right? And of course everybody should be given evidence that convinces them. I know Christians often hate it when Atheists get “hung up” on this evidence thing. But I don’t understand why. These are, allegedly, matters of life and death. Trust me, I don’t want to walk off a cliff face and I won’t if there is clearly a cliff face there. If I walk off it without seeing and someone shouted at me to stop, I won’t blame them either. I’m sure God can stop me anyway, even if I don’t listen to the pesky Christians 😉
I appreciate that it saddens you when others don’t share your perceptions. I understand because I get a very similar sadness. It can be heart breaking. But we have to find ways of living with it. I believe in building bridges of connection which can operate despite fundamental disagreements. It’s a hard thing though. These bridges tend to be very fragile.
Here’s to fragile bridge building
Cheers
DF
ps…I realise you weren’t thinking of me specifically when you wrote the poem, coz I’ve never reacted like the person in your opening lines, but I see, I think, the sense of frustration you feel regarding the whole world of unbelievers in general, and the difficulties you find in getting the “real message” across.
That’s actually just pure inspiration right there. And the fact that it rhymed is fabulous 🙂
You’re a little Dr Suess-ish yourself! 😉 good work!