So cousin Brett asks for some practical, creative suggestions that can inspire parents to inspire their children. And we have 5 children of our own and 4 long term foster children. All boys. And people are often saying nice things to us about the boys. And we get good reports back without looking for them. Often from people we don’t even know. So I’m thinking straight away, like the truly humble guy I am: “Yep, I’m the man for this job”.
Joel, Daniel, cousin David and Michael
And I know the kind of thing Brett is looking for, because he spells it out in an email. The kind of stuff that I’ve often planned to do, or thought it would be good to do…but actually, in practice have never got round to, or had very little success with. Like getting the boys to choose a charity to which the money which usually gets spent on them for christmas would go to. That was in my mind to do last year. But I ended up taking them all for a days go-karting. Which of course isn’t a bad thing, but not what my cuz is talking about in this instance.
But here’s my offering. It’s a very obvious one. It’s simply about maintaining a relationship with a child, so that suggestions made when they are young men or women aren’t rejected out of hand. Two years ago our second son Michael, who has very itchy feet, was planning to go travelling. So we said: “Hey, why not go and help at this place for street children in the Philippines, which the daughter of some friends of ours is running?” And that’s what he did for 3 months. He loved it. Now he’s in South America, building walls of horse dung on a community farm, visiting Ecuadorian prisoners, working in bars, doing border crossings from, ahem, Columbia to Peru. And, um, other stuff. We get skyped every 2 or 3 weeks, and Michael tries to scare his mum.
So, yeah. No prizes for originality to me. Or for following the brief. Though I’m looking forward to hearing other people’s input so I can be creatively inspired. It’s never too late. But, you know, I’m going with: talk, talk, jabber, jabber, laugh, giggle, get angry, apologise for your mistakes, don’t be a judgemental monster, get ’em to adulthood with at least a little bit of that free spirit they had when they were 4.
ps. And also make sure to follow through on your own dreams so that doing so will seem normal to them. Can’t expect them to try to change the world for the better if you’re not doing the same.
pps. In the changing the world stakes, and for the record, I think the funny vids Brett makes are just as important as all the other more obviously world changing stuff. Brad Fish is my guru! So I could probably do with some counselling really…
[David Fee is my mom’s brother’s son and lives in the United of.Kingdom. We like to refer to each other as ‘cousin’ cos that is what we are. One of his gifts is that of songwriter/singer and if you sign up for his mailing list you can receive his music for free over here]
![The Parent Tip [aka Some ideas that might help you raise your child]: With Bek Curtis](https://brettfish.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/bekbeans.jpg?resize=40%2C40){kind=small}
Irresistibly Fish 
“make sure to follow through on your own dreams so that doing so will seem normal to them” – love this 🙂
I’ve read all the stories of inspiring kids to be life changers and this one made me cry, ok bawl. I have 3 kids 20, 17 and 9. i’ve always wanted to do some inspiring things, actually followed through on a few with some “success”, but have so much guilt about what I should have done, especially with my 20 year old daughter. We live in a wealthy neighbourhood, struggle with consumerism and live in the tension, trying to share what we have and live openly. I’ve always wanted to move somewhere else amongst more “poor” people, but never have. My daughter has always had such incredible spirit. She is feisty and loves to risk and live to the full. That has included some tough times for us as parents as she makes some mistakes and gets into trouble sometimes. David’s paragraph ending with “get ’em to adulthood…” is my goal. Loving without judging, keeping an open relationship, and doing the best we can with where we are at is all I’ve been able to do. Often I feel it’s not enough.
The end of the story is not here yet, but just as I finished reading the blog and wiping my tears, she called and asked me to meet her for coffee. We had a great time of talking and laughing and my heart is full and I am so proud of her and grateful that she is my daughter.
hey Michelle, thanks for your comments and it sounds like you’re not doing too bad a job, hey? Especially with that ending… and i would encourage you to read the series i’ve been busy with on ‘Back to your future’ especially the one about learning from the past – we can’t change what has happened and so regrets are pretty useless things, but they can inspire us to do things differently and so with a 9 year old maybe there is a way of mobilising the 20 year old and the 17 year old to help you with some creative ideas [maybe there are some in this series, but maybe your own] to do some world changing things from this point forwards… your closing words are so powerful “the end of the story is not here yet” – this could be the catalyst for something hugely creative and meaningful [and possibly quite simple and straightforward and intentional] that can make a huge difference to someone or someones… [and look forward to adding your story to this pile when you feel up to sharing it]
strength in Him
love brett fish