if you are a single person, then embrace that, completely. hope to be married if that is your dream, but be absolutely content with where you are and living in it, til the opportunity arises. don’t live where you’re not.
if you are a married person, then embrace that, completely. be content with what you have, while always striving for more. if you are not constantly working at your marriage, then you may soon discover the rut beckoning. in any relationship, the rut is a terrible thing.
ever since the beautiful val and i got married, God has put relationships [and especially marriage] strongly on my heart as something to pour into, not only for us, but others as well… so i asked a bunch of my married friends [who i think are married well] for one or two things that they see as vital/helpful to having a good marriage.
Their thoughts and comments are linked to below, but i recently also stumbled upon this blog which gives a great sense of understanding in terms of the expectation we are encouraged to have our whole lives of meeting “the right person” who probably doesn’t exist in the form we imagine them:
How I know my wife married the “Wrong” person, by Tyler McKenzie
And then here are the rest of the nuggets of gold gleaned over a variety of years and experiences:
Dave Gale [married 22 years]: featuring communication, give and take
Mal Taylor: featuring teamwork, space and differences
Ewald Witthoft [married 6 years]: featuring clearing up issues, past disagreements and using ‘we’ language
Bronwyn Duffield Witthoft [married 6 years]: featuring unique perspective and calm discussion
Lisa Pieterse: featuring praying together, listening vs interruption and contact
Richard ‘Snoek’ Leonard: featuring humility, a surrendered heart, and a 1 Corinthians 13 Love
Rob Lloyd [married for seven years]: featuring little ways
Debbie Knighton-Fitt [married for 6 years]: featuring togetherness and selflessness
Rob Murray [married for 9 years]: featuring escape hatches, holiness vs happiness, and leading
an anonymous friend [married for 31 years]: featuring respect, united fronts and budgeting
Carolyn Hugo Misdorp [married 12 years]: featuring personal relationship with God, short accounts and gratitude
Michelle and Frans van Eeden [who i got to marry – 2 years ago]: featuring comparing, patience and making mistakes
Lauren McGill [married for 7 years]: featuring vulnerability
Daniel Ornellis [married for 13 years]: featuring disappointments and sacrifice
Susan Minne [my older sister, married for 21 years]: featuring the blame game
Rachel T Moore [married for 3 years]: featuring diffusing, actively pursuing joy and prayer
Clint Botha [married for 7 years]: featuring Jesus, laughing, quick forgiveness and clean fighting
Bev Le Roux Brodrick [married for 7 years]: featuring expectations, inconvenient love and survival