“i believe Lord, help me overcome my unbelief.” [Mark 9.24]

a verse i am really drawn to in the Bible that falls nicely alongside my life themesong of ‘there must be more than this’ – the knowledge that God can do it, but will He choose to…?

and the other day, altho it’s not very CC (Christianly Correct) as i lay with my wife crying out in immense pain with the hugest of mammoth headaches to end all headaches and i prayed and cried out to God and prayed in tongues and asked and begged and pleaded and and and…

silence of the lamb.

my faith cracked. it didn’t shatter or break and i don’t not believe in God and i’m not going to walk away from being a passionate God follower or anything… but in the moment that i, we, really needed God to do something that,  for a being who can speak a universe into being in a word or breath, is the smallest kind of thing imaginable, we just didn’t see it… and i didn’t really know what to do with that, not with my wife crying out in agonising pain.

you see the theory is quite easy. it’s very easy to believe in God and speak about God and trust in God and all of that. but when you need God, you need God and it would be so very nice if He would appear in the way you would hope and expect.

‘able to do immeasurably more than all we can hope or imagine?’ – it was one headache…

Elijah witnessed one of the greatest miracles in the Bible when God sends fire down from heaven to obliterate his offering after the prophets of Baal have spent all day cring out to their ‘god’ and cutting themselves and dancing and performing, but the very next moment he is sitting in a cave feeling sorry for himself crying “kill me God, i am the only one left” and yet God had reserved 7000 somewhere else in a different cave… God’s plan was already in action.

altho to be honest, i still have largely to see the fire from heaven miracle before the “where are you God?” question… but i hear of other peoples all the time.

and so “i (do) believe Lord, help me overcome my unbelief.”