let me recklessly love you, even if i bleed

i don’t know who matthew hammitt is, but the other day i was in the car listening to the radio and this song came on with these lyrics which struck me:

“let me recklessly love You, even if i bleed, cos You’re worth all of me”

it happened to be a christian radio station [and i just asked uncle google to find out that matthew hammitt is the lead singer of sanctus real, a band i really enjoy] and so i saw it as a worship song to God [although looking at the rest of the lyrics of the song, it may not necessarily be that] and really enjoyed those lines from that perspective.

a lot of worship music and christianity has become about me – bless me God, look after me, make it all about me, and so it is quite refreshing seeing the giving shift from God to us and the extent of real love [whether directed at God, or a person] to the point of shedding blood…

here is the whole song:

MATTHEW HAMMITT – All Of Me

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I’m so close to what I can’t control
I can’t give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole

(Chorus)
You’re gonna have all of me
You’re gonna have all of me
‘Cause you’re worth every falling tear
You’re worth facing any fear
You’re gonna know all my love
Even if it’s not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I’ll start

I won’t let sadness steal you from my arms
I won’t let pain keep you from my heart
I’ll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you

Chorus

Heaven brought you to this moment, it’s too wonderful to speak
You’re worth all of me, you’re worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You’re worth all of me, you’re worth all of me

Chorus (X2)

It’s where I’ll start

if God doesn’t pitch up…

one of my favourite freaky stories in the bible [and there's lots of them - 2 kings 2.23 story of elisha and the baldyhead bear-mauling incident] is the story of elijah found in 1 kings 17.

now a bunch of things happen here – there is elijah being fed miraculously by ravens, there is the miracle of the flour and oil of the widow not running out and then the widow’s son mysteriously dies.

it is one of those crisis of faith moment stories many of us have experienced – having just witnessed this crazy miracle of the continuing food supply, the widow is now accusing the prophet [and God by association] of having it in for her.

what comes next is incredibly dangerous and as with so many bible stories, we have lost the edge of the danger because we know how it ends – shadrach, meshach and abednego risking being tossed in the fiery furnace, daniel risking the lion’s den, david heading out to take on the giant goliath armed with a slingshot, gideon with his muchly reduced army taking on an army whose tents were described as ‘swarms of locusts’ [judges 6.5] armed with torches and musical instruments and peter stepping out of the boat on to the water…

we know how they end so we read them and get excited by God and what He has done, but i think it is important to go back and read this stories as the person really desperately hoping that God is going to make a dramatic appearance…

so you have this widow and her dead son and elijah is taken to the room with the dead son and in 1 kings 17.21 it says this, ‘Then he stretched himself out on the boy three times and cried to the Lord, “O Lord my God, let this boy’s life return to him.”

why is that a cool story? because it worked. God heard elijah’s prayer and resurrects the boy and he lives again. yay God, well done elijah.

but what if he hadn’t? if God didn’t pitch up then you have a grown man, climbing on to and lying on top of the body of a dead boy… now i’m not sure we can tell from the story if he did that twice with no results and then the third time God answered because that would add in a whole other dimension, but from elijah’s point of view it has to be coming from a point of ‘i really believe this is what God wants me to do and i am going to risk reputation and possibly life to be faith-full and obedient to what i have heard God say.’

“yeah, but it’s elijah”

the same elijah who goes on to witness another robe-wetting moment on top of mount carmel where if God doesn’t show up with the sacrifice then he will lose reputation and life for sure… but also the same elijah who shortly after that incident runs away because a woman threatens him and ends up moping to God that he is the only one left [when God secretly has thousands of other faithful followers stashed away in a cave] and so clearly there were times when ‘but it’s elijah’ was not good enough to guarantee success and bravery in the face of consequences.

there are so many others like this – noah builds a giant boat in the desert, Jesus spits into a blind man’s eye, peter and john tell a crippled man to get up and walk… so many miracle stories that only took place because someone was faithful and obedient to what they heard God calling them to do… if you have known me long enuff then you will have probly heard the story of the safe house for kids in cape town that was birthed out of a worship meeting [http://www.uthandolenkosi.co.za] – a lot of people called them crazy, even some pastors took action to try and protect them from the foolish thing they were going to do… and yet because God said it, and because people responded faithfully it happened.

i think it is important to finish off by saying that the point is not to go out and do stupid things… if you go to the local swimming pool and step out on the water you will sink. why? because God did not invite you to. the key here is listening out for what God is saying to you and acting on it regardless of whether it makes sense or not to those around you. [altho seeking good counsel from strong Jesus-following people around you to make sure it is God's thing He is calling you to and not just a hare-brained scheme is worth doing]

but if God does call you to lie on top of a dead kid and call out to Him three times, and you’re sure it’s God speaking, then you had better act on that and you will only know whether God is going to show up or not the moment it is too late if He doesn’t…

never once did we walk alone [new matt redman]

i have met matt redman [worship leader, song writer] on two occasions – on the first i was a chop christian radio presenter trying to be clever and yet no matter how many times i asked him if he was a vegetable what would he be and what superpower he would dig to have, all matty wanted to do was speak about Jesus…

the second time was at the Soul Survivor festival in Holland [and a third time i observed him when louis giglio, him and chris tomlin did a Q and A at Jubilee i think it was a few years back which was also inspirational] where he and a young dutch guy called antonie fountaine were taking turns leading the worship – the memory that stands out for me was the one session antonie was leading where matt redman went and sat with his feet dangling over the edge of the stage, in front of this massive stack of speakers right off to the side [pretty much out of view] and played his guitar and contributed to the worship without being the focus at all.

having come across a lot of worship leaders in my life who are so amped on the focus being on them, matt redman is such a breath of fresh air – i’m sure he is not perfect but his heart for God and “He must become bigger, I must become less” is so evident…

i came across a new song off his upcoming album and was just completely blown away by the lyrics, especially the chorus which goes like this:

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

i know that God. the rest of the song words are below and you can get access to the song sheet for free by going to http://www.worshiptogether.com/songs/songdetail.aspx?iid=1846861

Verse 1
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Verse 2
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Is Your power in us

Pre-Chorus
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Chorus 1
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Repeat Verse 2
Repeat Pre-Chorus

Chorus 2
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Bridge
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Ending Chorus
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

the true test of the spirit…

“Liturgy is public poetry and art. You can make beautiful art by splashing paint on a wall, and you can also make art with the careful diligence of a sculptor. Both can be lovely, and both can be ugly. Both can be marketed and robbed of their original touch, and both have the potential to inspire and move -people to do something beautiful for God. So it is with worship. More important than whether something is old or new, winsome or classic is whether it is real. The Scriptures tell us to “test the spirits,” and the true test of the spirit of a thing is whether it moves us closer to God and to our suffering neighbor. Does it have fruit outside of our own good feelings? Beauty must hearken to something beyond us. It should cause us to do something beautiful for God in the world.” [from http://commonprayer.net]

especially that last bit – the true test of the spirit of a thing is whether it moves us closer to God and to our suffering neighbour…

blue like don

very good blog by donald miller about pointing towards the light rather than being the light – check it out here

get to know your south african musos, part nick groves [pt ii]

my interview with local-born muso nick groves continues…

Q:In the one track i listened to i’m pretty sure i heard some white-man-rap? guest artist or mister nick groves branching out? and where’d that come from? [i was secretly pretty impressed]

A: …I’ve always enjoyed poetry – mostly at high school – song writing flows out of that but rap is the modern day poem. (After all – it an abbreviation for Rhythm And Poetry). What got me exited about rap recently was that it allows you the ability to express and explore an issue or theme in a deeper way than songwriting, I think the rhyme and the space gives the hearer a feeling like he is going on a journey, and thats why I think its one of the most popular genres out there, and it doesn’t have to be all “GANGSTA” to be rap. Think of Eminem’s “lose yourself” or some Lily Allen, JayZ, Linkin Park- it really allows you to feel whats being said- its almost like a good preach that has the ability to transport you to a new emotion or thought.

The song you have in mind is probably the track “Rise”- I got into a rap groove as I had a week earlier done my first rap song for fun, and that song just came out of me.

For me that song was really personal – I’ve been going through a really difficult time lately- probably the worst time of my life. My dad is currently lying in Hospice, in the last stages of bone cancer; I tried to help out a dude who was in need and got burnt; and I decided to look at the perseverance of Jesus for some inspiration. I might do some more sometime- the song gave me a good way to get everything off my chest. It’s my first shot at it, watch this space.

Q:what are your thoughts/feelings when it comes to worship music? quite a general question but i imagine when someone hears ‘worship music’ they think ‘ah the 30 minute music time in the church’ – do you think it’s bigger than that at all? what makes music worship-full?

A: Well I think its fair to equate “worship music” with church music, but it is bigger than that and like you say – the big question is: “Is this worship-full?” I think generally worship music will always help us in the cause of making God bigger and ourselves smaller in our hearts and minds – the whole John the Baptist thing “He must increase, I must decrease”. The call of scripture is “O magnify the Lord”. So I would say real “worship-full” worship music always will help us aim in this direction. The biggest factor for me is the work of The Holy Spirit – He enables us to worship God, He loves to help us exalt Jesus. The bible says “No one can say Jesus is Lord, except by The Spirit”- we need to depend on Him to help us to make our worship to God authentic and powerful, enabling us to get caught up with who God is, no matter what situation we are in.

Q:And when it comes to your music, what would you say is the groven factor? what sets your music apart from other peoples – ie why should people listen to yours? or what aspect of it do you think or hope will appeal to people?

A: At the moment, Im still jumping around into different genres- from the worship stuff to the rap and more recently the instrumentals. So in that regard, I haven’t really stuck into one type of style yet, and I’m far from doing my best work. But I hope my “X factor” its will be that what I create influences people in a positive way, and at best – brings people into a fresh perspective of who God is. I hope that what I create will always be honest about life and God’s involvement in it. Someone said once that a friend is made when you end up saying, “what, you too? I thought I was the only one!” and sometimes, when musicians are honest in their work, that kind of connection can be made with the listener.

Q:two more questions, one music related, who or what would you say your influences are when it comes to writing a new song? other bands or experiences?

A: I would say its more important as a musician to write from experience simply because its always going to make your art more “younique” and thats what people want to hear- but at the same time, I always get inspiration from what guys are doing – from the creativity of a 3 piece band like “Future of Forestry” to the musical genius of “MuteMath”. I always look for something honest and excellent that leaves you feeling what the artist is saying.

In a church setting, the creativity and expression of a guy like Matt Redman has been massive on my life. He is still one of my greatest heros. Lyrically a guy like Matt Kearney is huge, Mute Math are also great lyrically.
But the real beauty is releasing something beautiful through a personal experience. Nothing can top that. We are all originals and limited editions. Thats where the real creativity lies.

Q:and then lastly, what is your understanding of the church? and where do you see the role of music as a part of that, if at all?

A: Friedrich Nietzsche, a pioneer of atheism was quoted saying: “They would have to sing better songs for me to learn to have faith in their Redeemer”— Its always stuck with me.

I think the church (when I say this, I mean something bigger than a Sunday gathering) has yet to come into a place of prominence in creativity in the world where people can peer in and see amazing creativity reflecting who God is- the most creative being in the world. We’ve seen it here and ther (a lot of American christian artists like Kari Jobe/Jesus Culture are now topping even secular charts!) Guys like Phil Keaggy have been pointed to as the the greatest guitarist in the world. There must be more on the way.

Its sad to think that Nietzsche wrote off Christianity based on the lack of creativity he saw. Imagine what the world would have been like if he saw something different.

And when it comes to Sundays: if the lyrics and music doesn’t point to the excellence and wonder of God, then its time to gather all the creative people and ask God to revive us again that we might reflect the beauty of the one who made everything, and loves everyone.

[thankx so much Nick - to hear the music behind the man head over to www.facebook.com/pages/nick-groves/28272426239 and please pass the link on]

get to know your south african musos, part nick groves [pt i]

i am privileged to be friends with a lot of really talented people, especially in the area of music, and was recently inspired to write a series of blogs that showcase some of these people and their talent so that more people can hear what they are producing – this will take the form of a number of interviews with links provided so that you can go and check them out and first up is a guy i like to call nick groves (being his name and all) – i met nick thru my good buddy and tag team partner sean du toit and he has led the worship sessions on a number of camps i have spoken on…

Q:So Nick, i know you used to be in the water industry in somerset west, south africa (i know there’s a water industry in somerset west?) running your own company, but it’s been a little while so tell us where are you these days and what are you involved with?

A:In 2006 me and Beks were just married a few months, and we were invited to join our mutual friend Sean Du Toit in his youthwork “Primal” that was still in its infancy. I’d been working as a sales representative for H2o- marketing water purifiers and coolers since Dec 1999, and so the move from Muizenberg to Somerset West meant a change in work, as the travel would have been too much. Some doors opened and used the profits of the sale of my house to start up my own H2o branch- servicing Paarl and Somerset West. So since then we have been growing this baby business of ours – I suppose now it’s become a naughty teenager- full of challenges and growing pains, its a lot of fun and hard work, but what I love most is seeing it touch and enrich peoples lives.

The flip side to this coin is that I get the time to do my “real job”- writing songs, arranging music, learning more of how the recording programs work etc.

We are currently part of The Bay Community Church in Muizenberg- involved in music, and leading a small home group in Somerset West. This year my wife and I decided to pursue what we love (Beks loves photography) and so we try give our time after work to develop our skills in these areas.

Every now and then I get a chance to contribute to whats happening in New Gens youth work “Urban Liberty”- its always great to see what God is doing in other streams. They are an exciting bunch of people on a mission to make an impact.

Q: I’ve known you for a decent amount of time and generally in the context of music – where do you think your interest of music comes from and how did you get started in playing and singing?

A: I had private classical guitar lessons at primary school level- it only lasted a little over a year, as we could afford it. I then discovered in grade 7 that it was actually cool to play guitar! [even more so around the girls;) ]. But it was only when I was nearing the end of high school that I took it up again, started singing and playing at home groups and youth meetings. That was the start of becoming a worship leader for me.

Q:when you’re not peddling water or music’ing, what other interests does mister groves have? hobbies? pastimes? sport? cooking?

A: Lately i’ve taken up running- I have successfully found the flattest route in heldervue- a 5km that always kills me. Ive also got into gym-ing a bit but my favourite is always either a game of tennis or at best a surf trip – either JBay or Elands Bay. I also enjoy cooking, but I’m not a fanatic about that.

Q:what bands or artists do you enjoy listening to?

A:Like most, I would say there is a variety depending on what Im doing, but i’d prob rank my current favourites 1-5 as follows:

1. Future of Forestry
2. DubFx
3. Vusi Mahlasela
4. Mumford & Sons
5. Radiohead

Q:In recent times you’ve been writing songs and offering them to people to listen to, what is your plan at the moment in terms of the music scene, or i guess what is your dream scenario?

A:Musicians these days live in a privileged time where you can upload a song and in an instant you can touch numbers of people. I remember when I did my first 3 track album- I sold 100 copies and I was over the moon. But nowdays people don’t have to pay to listen to you, and it doesn’t cost much to run your own home studio – so its an ideal win-win situation: Artists get to create and release their work at little cost, and can reach many people for free. Thanks facebook

I suppose the dream of any creative person is for their craft to be seen or heard- the purpose of creating for me is about sharing. My dream is to share a moment or an experience. My greatest goal in terms of writing songs is to be able to get people to feel the message of a song, instead of hearing it.

At the moment my only plan is to keep creating music that people can have for free, and see the group of people it reaches grow. Life at the moment limits me in this area – but we are looking to soon be selling our business, and who knows what life would look like after that? The dream for me is not just music though, I want to be a part of a group of creative group who’s craft affects people in a positive way – it’s amazing how a song or any other work of art has an ability to lift people. I just love seeing the creative do that.

to read the rest of this interview simply click here

stop cheating on Him

i had this epiphony in the shower the other day – if the only Bible’ing and praying you do is at your church gathering on a sunday once a week, then you don’t have a relationship with God, you have a relationship with church.

and i think that’s how a lot of people live – their spiritual life is their relationship with the meeting on a sunday

it becomes a little bit memento meets inception with a sprinkling of the matrix once you start arguing that ‘i am the church, how can i have a relationship with myself?’ but i think if you give it just a moment you will see what i mean, and then the next step is to ask whether or not it is you, and then if so, to stop it.

because it is destructive. to you. to the church. if you are not being actively in relationship with God every day every day, then when you meet together as the church on a sunday, you will not be equipped to bring a word of encouragement or challenge or a psalm or prayer or prophecy or ministry to other people and that, after all, is what church is meant to be all about – meeting together to equip, strengthen, motivate, heal, encourage for the purpose of heading out and being church for the rest of the week to those who will never set foot in one

i think it’s an even bigger danger for those in so-called fulltime ministry because you can feel like your focused ministry time (leading a cell, heading up a worship team, preaching, sunday school etc.) is your relationshipping with God, when it’s not

so this is for me. and for you. and especially during holiday time when so many of us go on holiday from God. just stop it. return to your first love. remain in Him. be still and know that He is God.

do it. just.

it’s loving God, and loving people…

how do we get it so wrong?

pride. definitely. or maybe defiantly. definitively?

what do they think of me? what don’t they think of me? what should they think of me? what do i want them to think of me? i can’t believe they… i can’t believe she didn’t… why doesn’t anyone… don’t they know that i… don’t they see that i…

it is loving God
it is loving people

selfishness. defiantly so. or deftly?

it’s all about meeeeeeee……Jeesussssss
and all this is for meeeeee… for my glory and my fame
it’s not about youuuuuuu… i want you to do things My wayyyyyy
i am my own God and i surrenderrrrrr… to no-one’s ways…..

iwant. ideserve. i ‘need’. imusthave.

stuff. toys. things. people. attention. space. a stage. a platform. recognition.

my time. my space. my ministry. my calling.

but if i… then i won’t be able to…
but if you… then i won’t be able to…
but if i… then i will never…
but if you… then i can’t afford to…

as my friend mugabe (no relation) used to say, “if Jesus is on the throne in my life then i must be on the cross, but if i am on the throne then that relegates Jesus to the cross”

whose life is it anyway?
a me-centered universe will never leave space for a loving God, loving people lifestyle
it has to be Jesus-centered
pride and selfishness need to die (to “go to hell!” where they deserve to languish)

my church
a preach that i must get something out of
worship that must give me the feeling, the experience
my ministry
my salvation
my personal walk with God

my my indeed

it is about loving God.
and loving people.

enGAGEing

last nite’s enGAGE church gathering was pretty rad – i could ‘do church’ like that every week i think

we knew we were going to have a smaller group (which for a small group can be daunting) cos of the student holidays and so i chatted to ronel who was worshippy leadering and she and arnie (no relation) chose to do some accoustic worship vibes which was great

then for sun nite when i’d been preparing during the week (preached a much fun sermon called ‘Cremora church’ based on the theme of ‘it looks like water, but it tastes like vinegar’ in the morning service already which went so well) i came to a point of wanting to read a couple of passages from the Message (paraphrase bible which i don’t normally use – my seriously breaking to pieces purple NIV being traditional weapon of choice) to hear the different way they are written to what we are used to, and actually nothing else

was concerned some people might think that’s “not good enuff for church” but am a lot beyond caring about that right now so decided that was all there was going to be and the passages i was looking at were psalm 23 (and later added 34 and carlo added 121 altho it did bring up some questioning about why exactly you need to be protected from moon stroke) and then the genesis 22 account of abraham taking isaac to be sacrificed, Jesus and the woman caught in sin, and then hebrews 12, 1 corinthians 13 (the love passage) and philippians 2

and so we sat in some kind of undefined non-circle with some people on chairs and some people sitting or lying on the ground and we sang some worship songs interspersed with prayer and the Message Bible readings and for me there was such a strong sense of the presence of God which i don’t often seem to feel and a real sense of people hungry and connecting and God being in it

it was church. it was great. i really think i could do that every week. mm.