Category: Pomes and other create ivvy tea


we all know the much told story of the prodigal son, right? in fact, i even wrote a poem about it once, imagining the prodigal son had gone prodigal again [as one does] which you can take a look at here, but if you in fact don’t know the story, you can look it up in Luke 15.11-32.

and we all focus on the bad son and how we relate and the clever preachers tell us how it should be renamed ‘the good father’ or something like that [i wonder if anyone has ever juxtapositioned it with 'The Godfather' because the comparison/contrast seems like a natural go to] but in the last couple of weeks it is interesting to note how much i keep finding myself comparing myself to the older brother.

which is not a good thing. he was always the wimp and the whiner. it’s like, “dude, free party, go inside” and i think i used to get annoyed with people who would compare themselves to him when i was growing up, cos i just couldn’t see it. He is just a complete lamehead.

so it does concern me to keep finding myself comparing me to him, cos what would ten year younger brett think of me? [that guy has been popping up in all sorts of conversations and scenarios lately, although to be honest i think he would have got arrested or beaten up yesterday in the situation down the street with the police and the neighbors and the car crash, cos that guy sometimes could not hold his mouth...]

let’s remind ourselves:

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” Luke 15.22-32

to be continued here…

i don’t know who matthew hammitt is, but the other day i was in the car listening to the radio and this song came on with these lyrics which struck me:

“let me recklessly love You, even if i bleed, cos You’re worth all of me”

it happened to be a christian radio station [and i just asked uncle google to find out that matthew hammitt is the lead singer of sanctus real, a band i really enjoy] and so i saw it as a worship song to God [although looking at the rest of the lyrics of the song, it may not necessarily be that] and really enjoyed those lines from that perspective.

a lot of worship music and christianity has become about me – bless me God, look after me, make it all about me, and so it is quite refreshing seeing the giving shift from God to us and the extent of real love [whether directed at God, or a person] to the point of shedding blood…

here is the whole song:

MATTHEW HAMMITT – All Of Me

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I’m so close to what I can’t control
I can’t give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole

(Chorus)
You’re gonna have all of me
You’re gonna have all of me
‘Cause you’re worth every falling tear
You’re worth facing any fear
You’re gonna know all my love
Even if it’s not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I’ll start

I won’t let sadness steal you from my arms
I won’t let pain keep you from my heart
I’ll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you

Chorus

Heaven brought you to this moment, it’s too wonderful to speak
You’re worth all of me, you’re worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You’re worth all of me, you’re worth all of me

Chorus (X2)

It’s where I’ll start

i came across this blog today and i want you to read the bio with me and try and conjure up in your mind an image of the person who might possibly be writing it:

“A few years ago, I stumbled upon the Vaquita, a tiny endangered porpoise. I was heartbroken when I read about its story, so I decided to start this blog, along with many other efforts to help this species. I post poems, facts, and updates about the Vaquita weekly, and have other pages to help inform you about the Vaquita and its helpers. I hope this blog will help save a species in need.”

if this is all the info you have, [and take another minute and read it once more to really try and figure this out], what picture comes to your mind? is it a male or a female? someone with many years of life experience to draw upon, or a young child? someone who speaks with an English accent? or are we talking European? Australian or New Zealand perhaps? or is it someone from my continent of Africa or my present home of Americaland?

who do you picture writing this?

but wait, here is one more set of clues as to the authorship of said blog:

“I love playing tennis, birdwatching, hiking, even school, but my main focus is animal conservation through writing.”

for me, ‘animal conservation through writing,’ and i instantly have a woman in mind… ‘playing tennis’ and ‘birdwatching’ makes her fifty plus years of age… hiking throws a potential hint of a curveball… but it’s the word ‘school’ that seems out of place…?

it is in fact the line i omitted, that starts off this blog bio, which fills in a lot more of the gaps:

“I am an 11-year-old boy living in Bethlehem, PA.”

well slap-my-face-to-the-side-of-a-pig-and-roll-me-in-the-mud. It’s called V-Log and it is largely about the saving of a species of porpoise called the Vaquita [of which there are only about 250 left in the world] and you can check it out here, and it does contain poetry like this, and it really just moved and excited me to see an 11 year old confident young man with poetic gifts and more really being passionate about something and then actively living out/chasing his passion in the best way he knows how… [where is Oprah or Ellen when you need them?]

his blog profile name is goldenliontamarin and it describes him well. we can learn a lot from him and i hope we do.

if you don’t have a passion and a purpose or aren’t pursuing it, then there is a really strong chance that you aren’t living, you are just existing. let’s learn from this young 11 year old guy [who seems a lot older than a lot of older people i know] and really start sucking the marrow out of life. in a good way.

choose living.

let me start by being perfectly honest here, i am not an artist… not in the drawing, painting, nude sculpture making sense anyways…

when i was in high school i somehow managed to end up taking art as one of my choice subjects [i copied a monkey face pretty well back in standard 5/grade 7 and got accepted in art at westerford somehow that way] for grade 8 and 9 but very quickly found out that the teacher didn’t so much teach art as assumed art and so if you didn’t know how to do the type of art he held up you were pretty much screwed… which led to me and ray wright largely spending two years just mixing paint colours and unintentionally blocking up drains…

i was not allowed to choose art for grade 8 to 10 and so effectively i like to think that i was kicked out of art… academically at least.

til i heard about this thing called First Friday in Philadelphia where i currently live and move and have my being. our summer intern and friend Beth took a bunch of her really good art to the streets and came back with money – lots of it.

so i schemed with monkman aka A-Ron aka Aaron, another housemate, to make some art and take it to first friday and take irony for a joy ride cos surely if i could make some art and someone could buy it for real money then that would just throw art on it’s head…

last saturday i spend the whole day painting on a window within a frame that Jamie from across the road [one of the original members of the simple way] gave me and came up with something some people would call art, at least until they looked at it. Monkman came home after being out the whole day, took about thirty minutescreating his minimist art piece [also on a window frame] and it looked 1000 times better than mine.

there were bits of mine i liked. tbV liked at least two parts of it and i think i liked three of the four corners or at least ish. but as a whole it was going to take some irony walking by.

two things happened tonite at first friday which made me happy. the first was two quite trendy girls walking past [and we had my painting next to monkman's and a bunch of t-shirts and patches he was selling so a decent amount of stuff] and the one turned to the other one having indicated my painting and said ‘that’s good’ or ‘i like that’ or something to that effect. job done.

the second thing was that i sold my painting for 20 dollarbucks. like money. real money. that you can buy things with. oh irony, your head has been bruised by this ‘art’ this nite… or something. this girl really dug it and i didn’t know what to charge her for it and she said twenty bucks? and i said sure [i'm a kick-ass haggler] and she gave the twenty bucks and walked off [and is theoretically going to claim it later - she had just arrived and wanted to check out other things - pretty trusting in these parts]

so all said and done i think that makes me officially an artist.

like writing poetry but i haven’t had the motivatin to write something for a long time, but here is one i wrote a long time ago which i really like which a lot of you will not have read…

    TWICE PRODIGAL

Have I walked this path?

I can not remember having come this way before;

Yet… strange feeling of familiarity haunts me

As each step I take brings me closer to home…

I still taste the pods I fed those wretched swine

A plague reminder of my sin and shame upon my tongue

Hazy images of the land I’m walking:

Imagination..

…or memory?

Something is not quite right

Can’t put my finger on it

Inheritance grasped…

Relationship squandered.

…and now returning to beg mercy and forgiveness

A Father’s compassion…

A butchered calf celebrating a life once lost

Now returned from the grave

…could it be?

Is it even possible?

NO!

That could never happen!

It wouldn’t!

It mustn’t…

Must…not…

But yet…

I find myself walking a path somewhat recognisable to me

A robe hangs across my shoulders – faded, torn.

Ring on my finger with shiny glint, long lost…

Forgotten?

Dirt-stained sandals worn beneath my tired feet…

Surely this is my first journey home…

Yes! – my mind is just playing tricks

That’s it… no one would return home to such love and acceptance

Only to turn his back and set out once more?

Nobody cured of blindness deliberately erases their sight

Pushes away the embrace of unconditional forgiveness

Heads back towards the shadowy abyss…

NO!

This is it.

It is me…

And I am walking home

Back to a place I knew

To a father who hasn’t stopped loving

Looking out…

Awaiting my return.

wind, take a bough

then send it crashing to the ground

water, flow slowly along

pummelling, pummelling, the rocks beneath the surface

smoothing their edges by sheer  weight of temporal force

little bird, glide smoothly through the air

then swoop, crashing through the water’s uncreased surface

and fly away once more, carrying death back to feed your children

blow, gentle cool breeze

upon the dying embers

breathing new life into them

breathing, breathing

and suddenly bursting into a hungry flame

which savagely devours every fresh new log in its path

lie there, harmless thorn, waiting, waiting

til an innocent foot finds a way to disturb you

and then leave disturbed

run, dassie, ran

stop for just a second to deposit a gift on the rocks

then scamper off to find some shade

noise, human, noise

with your machines and motor-powered vehicles

raising your instruments and your voices

talking, talking, just to fill the silence

to kill the silence

chasing away the solitude of this sound-filled nature seen

Oh.

Oh? As in really? You… you’re sure? Certain?

All-powerful. Oh?

Faithful. Oh?

All-loving. Unconditionally so.

Even me?

Even my stuff?

Me? Oh?

Oh really? As in ‘really really?’

Like real miracles? Actual miraculous occurances?

Blind seeing, deaf hearing, lame walking?

Dead being raised?

Oh. I get it. It’s a metaphoric death.

An inner blindness.

Deaf to the words of the Holy Scriptures speaking to my disobedient ears.

Able to walk tall in the knowledge that i’m ok.

That i’m going to make it.

Is that all?

Because if it is, then “oh!”

Oh.

Oh?

O

As in zero

As in no more response to that do i have.

IS that really all you’ve got?

If it’s only metaphorical

Some kind of greeting card sentiment

A cartooned caricature

Then “oh” is all i have.

Awe has turned to oh.

Owe.

As in You owe me.

All the time i put in

All the energy

All of that, believing…

Owe

For a life given

Lived

Dedicated

Surrendered? Well, where i could.

Oh.

O.

Owe.

Unless. One less. Own-less. Oh’ness.

Unless… there really was more.

Is more.

of You. to You. about… You?

Because if there was more, is more

Then it would be different

It would have to be different

I would have to be different

Oh so completely different

If you were shown to be so much more

Or maybe even just all i was told you were, are.

Not metaphoric, but real.

Not imaginary or fabled or wishfully thought up

But real. Alive. Involved.

Interested.

In me.

In us. In all this. In all that is and has been going on.

Oh?

Oh.

Oh!

And once more, the awe consumes the “oh?”

With vacant eyes staring off into the distance
You stare at nothing in particular
As another drop of blood silently drips to the floor
Screaming out your loneliness and rejection
Though no-one is around to hear
The darkness pulls itself a little closer
Embracing you as you welcome it
You are alone
As I was
Surrounded by people and none of them understood,
the pain
the depth of my isolation
Yet I too embraced it
Called it to do its work
So I could do mine
Another drop makes its way down your wrist
Running parallel to mine
A pool forms beneath my feet
Tears run down your cheeks
As a witness to what you have done
Screams rage through the depth of my lungs
Announcing through the ages that it is done
I have finished it
It has been accomplished.

Your friends and family are nowhere to be found
You have chosen your spot and moment carefully
As another cut marks another reminder to yourself
That you are still alive, and, though scarred, will go on.

I turn my face towards heaven and my Father is nowhere to be found
He has chosen this time and place with precise and careful planning
As the thrust of a spear makes a sure reminder
That death has claimed one last victim, and for now, I don’t live on.

A new day dawns
You wake and feel for the evidence of the cut
And somehow find the strength to face it all for another day.
A new time dawns
I rise and feel the cut in my side, the evidence
Reminder of victory secured that will help bring in a new day.

With vacant eyes staring off into the distance
You stare at nothing in particular
As you reach once more for the blade
Comforting ritual to bring sanity to a life and mind in chaos
But before you can coax the blade into doing its deadly deed
You are stopped
Your hand starts to shake as you stare at your scars
Your cuts, opening up on My back and sides
Streams of blood coverging to form a crimson river
That now totally sweeps you up
Engulfing you
Washing you vigorously
Wiping away every hurt, every mark of pain and fear
Every seed of rejection
On and on until every trace is gone
Sucked into the whirlpool of my life-giving water

And suddenly, as quickly as it arrived, it is gone.

And you are left standing
In front of the mirror
For the first time catching a glimpse of how I see you
And as you even begin to understand what I have gone through for you
So the blade slips to the ground
The darkness takes a small hesitant step in retreat
And the look in the corner of your eye conveys just the faintest glimmer of hope…

Ah, there you are

I sense you, reaching for me again

Not because you need me

Just because you need to make sure I’m there

I am your preciouss

“A convenience” was my way in

“A necessity” is what I’ve become

But you don’t even notice

As I continue to slowly, subtly infiltrate your life

You smile as you convince yourself that you are in charge

And back it up by reminding the world that you have changed my setting to silent

Although still on vibrate,

You know… just in case…

And so, as I lie idol in your bag

Waiting for your next Seriously Mediocre Salutation

Or life-changing, world-saving? conversation with, oh what’s-her-name?

So I count the hours I’ve taken, money I’m making

Conversations I’ve broken into and near accidents I’ve caused

And vibrate quietly to myself as I prepare for my next cancerous assault…

cold, haunting wind blows effortlessly

against the backdrop of the eerie silence

composing illusions of an ominous chill

creeping ever closer

corrupting everything in its path

silhouetted shadows cast their gaze

upon the still, small body

that lies unmoving on the table edge

cold and lifeless, you lie there

tiny shrivelled body

unwanted, unclaimed

just a pathetic testimony

to your own immense waste of an existence

of space.

black and squishy

mercilessly discarded

stepped on

expiring without so much as a whimper

although possibly expressing the subtle hint of a whine

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 496 other followers